by Unknown
“What do you mean?” he asked.
“Can we get to the rock first? We’re almost there.”
“No. Tell me what you meant by that.”
I looked down, and shook my head real fast. “Evan. I don't want to do this on the side of a cliff, all right?”
He pursed his lips for a moment, then grabbed my hand and pulled me the rest of the way. We stopped at the back of the rock, far away from the danger of plummeting to our deaths.
“Oh, thank God,” I said.
“See? That wasn’t so bad.”
“Don’t make me go across that again. I'm serious.”
“Okay, I won't.” He crossed his arms and leaned up against the rock. “So what’s the matter?”
I pushed my back against the same rock and kept my eyes on anything but him. “I love spending all this time with you, Evan. But it’s just getting too hard. I know you’re still grieving over Melanie, I know that. I am, too. I miss her, too.”
“Well that’s why we’ve been so great for each other these last few weeks. We’ve been able to get through this together.”
“I know, and it’s been good… I just…”
“We didn’t have to go on the hike. You seemed like you wanted to go.”
“I didn’t,” I said. “Not really.”
“Then why didn’t you say something?”
“Because. I wanted to tell you… in person…” I turned to my right. A tear trickled down to my upper lip. I shook my head, and licked it away. “I don’t think I can be friends with you anymore.”
He placed his hand on my arm. “What? Why the hell wouldn’t you want to be friends, Syd?”
“Because.” I finally looked at him, stared him right in the eye. “I love you, you dumb shit!”
When he just stood there, didn’t move, didn’t change his expression, I ran around him, and pushed myself to the top of the rock.
“Hey, where are you going?” he shouted.
I didn’t answer. I beat my arms against my sides and kept moving. The rock was at least twenty feet wide and thirty feet long and served as a look-out spot to the west side of L.A., including Santa Monica, Venice Beach, even LMU. It was secluded, to be sure, but it couldn't have been too much of a secret: a cooler, with what looked to be a couple of beer bottles inside, had been left behind.
“Sydney, stop! Talk to me!” Evan pushed himself up, and jumped to his feet.
“Stay away from me!” I reached the front side of the rock, and looked over the edge. The ground was hundreds of feet below.
“Can you please take a step back? It’s too dangerous.”
“Oh, now it’s too dangerous?”
“Let me speak. I want to say something.”
I turned around. Ran my thumb under both my eyes, to make sure I wasn't still crying. “All right, what?”
“The thing is, this time with you, it’s been really confusing for me. But the more and more time I’ve spent with you… the more I realized…” He stopped. Pushed his lips together.
“The more you realized what?” My heart started beating faster.
“Sydney...”
“Evan?” Was he going to say it?
He smiled, and locked his eyes on mine. “The thing is... I think I might be...”
I took another step.
And my left foot came down on an empty beer bottle.
I lost my balance, flailed my arms up in the air, and slammed my chest against the rock, and the bottle. Pain shot through my whole body, but nothing compared to the terror that consumed me when I started slipping off the side of the rock.
“Evan! Oh my God!”
“Sydney! Oh shit!” He sprinted toward me.
I pounded my hands against the rock, but it was too slippery. I reached for anything. A branch, a bush. There was nothing.
“Evan! Evan, please!” I was going over. I couldn’t stop sliding.
Evan jumped into the air, landed hard on his stomach, and grabbed my hand, as my whole body careened over the edge.
“Hold on!” he shouted. “I’ve got you!”
I forgot to breathe, I forgot to think. Evan was the only force keeping me from falling to my death. “Evan, don’t let me go!”
“I won’t. You understand? I've got you. I promise.”
I was too scared to cry. I kept a tight grip on him. My knees scraped the side of the rock as he started pulling me up.
“I've got you... come on...” He kept pulling and pulling.
“Don't let me go! Don't let me go!”
He pulled back real hard, one last time, and I collapsed on top of his chest.
“Oh my God, oh my God.” I just lay there, trembling, in shock. We didn't move for at least ten seconds. “Thank you. Evan... holy shit, if you hadn't—”
“It's okay,” he said. “Relax. You're safe now.”
I pushed myself off him and ran away from the rock, back to the dirt, as far from the cliff as I could get. I wrapped my arms around my waist, keeled over, and started coughing and crying at the same time. The car accident in high school had always been my scariest memory, but it might have just been replaced.
“Jesus Christ,” I said, trying to catch my breath. “That was so… that was so close…”
I looked up. Evan kicked the empty beer bottle off the rock, then launched the cooler out into the air with an angry scream. “You fucking idiots! Who leaves a fucking cooler next to a cliff!” He ran over to me. His face was a bright, pulsating red. “Are you all right?” he asked.
“No. No, I’m not.” I pushed my hands over my face and started weeping again. I just cried and cried. I didn’t think I was ever going to stop.
He grabbed my hands, and pulled me closer. “Shh, it’s okay… it’s okay…” He kissed me on my forehead, then hugged me real tight.
“I was so scared… but you… you saved me…”
“I wasn’t going to let you go. I would never let you go.”
“You wouldn't?”
“Of course not.” He brought his hands to my cheeks, and stared into my eyes. “I love you, Sydney.”
And then he kissed me. Not a soft, tender kiss, but a hard one, a passionate one. He wrapped his arms around my back and brought me down to the dirt ground.
Was this happening? I didn’t question it. I let him hold me, let him take me, and I kissed him right back. His lips tasted so sweet, like French vanilla ice cream imported from an otherworldly paradise.
He ran his hands through my hair, grinned, rubbed his nose against mine. “Hi,” he said.
I stared into his eyes. I didn’t want to talk. “Hi Evan,” I answered, and brought my lips back to his. We kissed for a few more seconds, just in time for his tongue to dip down into the roof of my mouth.
“Wow! Dad, look!” a young voice shouted from behind us. “They’re kissing!”
Evan and I opened our eyes, and looked back. A little boy stopped a few yards away, pointing, his mouth opened wide with obnoxious excitement.
I brought my gaze back to Evan. “You wanna get out of here?”
He smiled, real big, and said, “I think that’s a great idea.”
Chapter 21
Evan was already kissing me before we were at the end of the hallway. He slammed me up against the door, and started working my neck with his lips.
“Hold on, let me get the keys,” I said.
“Hurry up.” He was an animal, and he wasn’t stopping. I kept one hand clasped against his back, while I shoved the other one in my pocket. I took out the keys, tried to stick it in the lock without looking. My gaze was focused on the gray tiled ceiling.
“Evan…. Evan, I have to turn around…”
“No,” was all he said. If it had been up to him, he would have taken me right there in the hallway.
“Hold on,” I said, and spun around. I unlocked the door, turned the knob, pushed it open. As soon as we were inside, I brought my lips back to his and kicked the door shut.
“Is your roommate home?” E
van asked between kisses.
“No. He’s at his mom’s for the weekend.” It was hard to talk, I was so out of breath. “We have the place to ourselves.”
“Excellent,” he said, and hoisted me up into the air. I wrapped my legs around his back, and he carried me into my bedroom. He had only been in my place once way back in June, but he knew exactly where my side of the apartment was. I closed my bedroom door, just to be safe, and brought my chin to the top of his head, as he started kissing my upper body.
“Oh Evan… oh my God… I’ve wanted this for so long…” I looked back down at him, back into his eyes. “Are you okay?”
He nodded. Licked his lips. “I’m okay if you’re okay.”
“Good,” I said, and brought my lips back to his. He pushed me up against the dresser, drew his tongue deep inside my mouth. I slid my feet up against his ass.
“Sydney, I want you…”
“Set me down,” I said.
I dropped to the floor and pulled up his shirt. It was so wet, so stuck to his firm stomach, that it took some effort to bring it up over his head. He crumpled it up and tossed it to the floor. I marveled at his body. It was toned, ripped, but not to the point of looking fake. A small tuft of hair nestled at the top of his chest, and a string of star tattoos, both big and small, ran from his nipples all the way to his left shoulder.
I started kissing his chest. I worked my way down to his belly button, all the way to his happy trail. He moaned, put his arms over his head. I looked down. If Evan had been wearing a tight pair of jeans, I might not have noticed what was trying to poke through. But the flimsy gym shorts weren't hiding any secrets.
He pulled me back up and continued to kiss me. I kept my hands pressed against his face as I guided him toward the bed. When his legs hit the bedframe, I pushed against his stomach and watched him fall back against the mattress. He propped himself on his elbows, gave me a tender smile. I gulped, loudly, and removed my shirt. No man had seen me naked since James.
I unhooked my bra, let it drop to the floor. I winced a little, even though I tried not to. I felt so imperfect, so unworthy. He leaned against me, tapped my legs with his feet. He ran his hands through my hair.
I grabbed hold of his wrist. “No.”
“What?”
His fingers touched the scar, up above my right ear. Always hidden under my hair, it was fully exposed to Evan's eye. I expected him to scream in fright, or push himself away from me.
Instead, he kissed the scar, brought his mouth to my ear, and said, “You are the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.”
I tried not to cry. I rested my knees against the mattress, pushed myself on top of him. I forgot about all my pain. I forgot about James, about Melanie, about the rights and the wrongs of everything that was happening. I just let go—and let this perfect moment find its way.
Evan leaned against me, and kissed the bottom of my neck. His lips teased my breasts. I closed my eyes, tilted my head back. I sunk my fingernails into his flesh. I moaned, started trembling all over. I pulled back on his hair, and kissed him again, hard, on the lips.
He tilted me to the left, and I came crashing down against the bed. He stood up on the floor, as I scooted back to the pillows, and—lucky me—got to enjoy the show.
Evan pulled his exercise shorts down, to reveal a red-and-green pair of tight boxer briefs. Oh yes, Christmas had come early. He just stood there for a moment, let me take everything in. I always forgot how tall he was; six foot four, he was almost touching the ceiling. I licked my front two teeth, and enjoyed his nakedness.
He dropped the boxers to the floor. His dick curved a little to the left. It was eight inches, at least. I didn’t just like it; I craved it.
“Get over here,” I said.
He crawled up to me, slowly, like a cheetah zoning in on its prey. He kissed every inch of my legs, then the sides of my hips. Then he pulled down on my blue gym shorts. He lifted them into the air, gave me a cute little wink, and twirled them around his fingers for a moment.
“You’re silly,” I said, with a laugh. “You’re silly, and you’re fucking hot.”
I slapped my hand against his ass, and guided him toward me. His dick rubbed against my undies. I closed my eyes, let out a moan so loud every neighbor in the complex likely heard me.
“Ohh… oh my God…” I said.
“Hey,” he said.
“What?”
“Look at me.”
My eyes opened. He leaned down and kissed me. Softly at first. Then harder, faster. His tongue intertwined with mine, and my hands went back to his ass. He kissed me on my cheek, my nose, my chin. Then he ran his tongue down my neck, all the way to my belly button.
And beyond.
“Oh Evan… oh God…”
He pulled my underwear away from my feet, then locked his head in between my legs, and started in. When his tongue entered me, I smacked the back of my head against the wall.
“Oh, holy shit,” I said.
I hooked my legs over his shoulders. I rubbed his hair with my left hand, and started licking the fingers of my right. He kept going and going. It might have been hours. Days. I didn’t care. I could have spent the rest of the summer like this.
He kissed my belly button, then ran his tongue back up my chest. He licked my earlobes, and breathed heavily into my ears. I didn’t know how much more I could take.
“You’re… God… you’re amazing…”
“No,” he said. “You’re amazing.” He kissed me on my cheek, tenderly, and whispered, “Do you have a condom?”
Three months ago, I would have had to shake my head no. But, oh, that Lukas. He stocked me as soon as we moved into the new place. I nodded to the bottom drawer beside the bed. He leaned over, grabbed the closest one, and ripped it open with his teeth. When it was on, I leaned against the pillows, and wrapped my legs around his back, again.
“Are you ready?” he whispered.
I nodded. I had been ready for almost two years, ever since I saw him in History of Western Civilization. He had sat on the other side of the room, asleep half the time because the class was at 8 AM. I never thought he would have feelings for me. I never thought he would ever even look at me.
And here we were.
Here I was.
When he entered me, I felt only pain. I gritted my teeth, closed my eyes real tight. “Go slow,” I said. “It’s… it’s been awhile.”
I tilted my head to the left, then to the right. I grasped the bed covers. Started breathing harder.
“That feel okay?” he asked.
“Yeah… oh Evan…”
I relaxed every muscle in my body, let him take me over in every way. It didn’t hurt anymore. The pleasure outweighed the pain a thousand to one.
“Evan… go faster…”
“You sure?”
I licked my lips. “Mmm hmm.”
He bent my legs, brought his face back to mine. “Oh God… Sydney… you’re so amazing…”
“Evan… please…”
“Please what?”
I brought my hand to his cheek. “Kiss me.”
He closed his eyes, pushed his lips against mine.
“Evan…”
“Sydney…”
“I love you…”
“Oh my God,” he said, and started going even faster. And right before he came, he whispered into my ear, “I love you, too.”
Chapter 22
“It’s six,” Evan said.
“At night?”
“In the morning.”
“You’re kidding me.” I leaned to the side of the bed and glanced at the clock. 6:03 AM. I darted my eyes back at him. “Have we even slept at all?”
“Not a wink,” he said.
“Making up for lost time, huh?”
Evan drew me closer. He pushed a few strands of my hair away from my forehead, and stared at me for a moment. “God. Look at you.”
“What?” I smiled, so not used to this kind of adoration.
“Shh.” I pushed my finger against his lips, and said, “No… I know.”
We spooned for a few minutes, kept each other warm under my mountain of bed covers. I was so relieved it was Sunday, that there was nowhere I needed to be, nothing I needed to do. Nothing but spend every waking minute with Evan Taylor.
“You hungry?” I asked.
“Not really.”
“What? You have to be. We’ve been in this bed for like fourteen hours.”
“I’ve had plenty to satiate my appetite,” he said. He clamped his teeth against my shoulder and pretended like he wanted to bite me.
I laughed, and pushed him away. “Stop it.”
He came right back. “Mmm. Looks so scrumptious.”
“You are such a dork!” I said. “Come on, I'll make you some breakfast.”
I started scooting to the edge of the bed, but Evan took hold of my arm, and wouldn't let me leave. “How ‘bout you stay right here with me, hmm?”
“Evan, we need to eat something.”
“But it’s so warm under the covers. Here, let me take your mind off food.” He got on top of me and started kissing me all over my neck. For months I had dreamed of kissing Evan, wished it, obsessed over it—and since yesterday I had kissed him about a thousand times. I didn’t want to stop. I didn’t want him out of my sight.
But still, a girl's gotta eat.
“Come on, we need to get up,” I said, and scooted out from under him. I jumped to my feet, stretched my arms toward the ceiling. I glanced back at Evan. He was still sprawled out on the bed, just staring at me.
“Are you looking at my butt?” I asked.
“Maybe.”
I chuckled, as I pulled up my underwear. Then I grabbed a white t-shirt from my dresser drawer. When I pulled it over my head, Evan loudly sighed behind me.
“What?” I stepped toward him.
“You don’t need to put your clothes back on,” he said. “What’s the matter with you?”
“I’m cold.”
He smiled. “Obviously.”
I looked down. My nipples pointed through my practically see-through t-shirt. I crossed my arms, and said, “Very funny.”