His Confession

by S. Valentine

  Twenty minutes passed before she heard Lawrence’s key in the door. She climbed under the covers and pretended to be asleep. She couldn’t face him or make small talk after what had happened. Her eyes were tightly shut when she heard him walk into the bedroom. He paused for a moment before pulling the covers up, and properly tucking her in, ensuring that she was warm. When the door closed after him, she focused on the white wall for what seemed like an eternity.

  Darion had been right. Once he’d had her, he knew she’d come back.

  Chapter Thirteen

  Darion

  Darion’s fingers tightened on the steering wheel as he pressed his foot further down on the accelerator. He inhaled the cold air seeping through the window, and tilted his head back, keeping his stare fixed on the road. Surely he didn’t like her, did he? He slapped the dashboard in frustration. He had hated women for years, judged them all the same. He couldn’t trust women. Shouldn’t. Not after Eva. He had done absolutely everything for her, supported her, cared for her, and gave her everything she wanted. After her betrayal, he had slept with as many women as possible, nothing but no-strings-attached sex, no emotions involved on his part, no heartbreak. It suited him just fine.

  Forget Gabi. He couldn’t trust her; here she was, cheating on her fiancé. Was it different with her, though? Did her fiancé treat her badly? He didn’t know her circumstances, or what her relationship was like. For some reason, he sensed there was more to it.

  He rubbed his hand up and down his face, distressed. Darion hated himself for being so attracted to her. If he didn’t ever discuss his feelings with her, kept her at arm’s length, never let himself get attached, then surely he’d be okay. He could handle that.

  But fucking hell, he hated himself for playing part in ruining a relationship. Then again, he was single. She was ruining it. But then again, it had been him who had instigated it. He had rung her. He had chased her and seduced her until she caved in. He had gotten what he wanted.

  He felt sick. He was no better than the man that had been sleeping with his ex-wife behind his back. Gabi’s fiancé would be hurt in all of this, just as he had been. Could he really stay away from her, though? He wasn’t sure whether he wanted to continue seeing her to have as much fun as he possibly could, or whether he was seeking something more, which was something he had had no intention of doing.

  He decided to take it one day at a time.

  ***

  Gabi

  Gabi was relieved that she had two weeks’ annual leave from work. Normally she’d find a room in the house to redecorate, completely change the colour scheme and furniture until she was satisfied for another year or so. She decided against it this time. She wasn’t planning on being in the house forever. The sooner she and Lawrence were over, and the sooner he accepted it, the better. She knew she would have to make some tough decisions. She wasn’t afraid of renting an apartment, and she wasn’t afraid of living alone. But what if leaving Lawrence turned out to be the worst decision she had ever made?

  She took a sip of her tea, and then lay on the couch, staring absentmindedly at the television before her. She didn’t know what to do with her two weeks off. Mallory and her other friends were working throughout the day, and she had already watched so much daytime television she was sick of it. She was tempted to call Darion, see if she could spend some time with him without Lawrence suspecting anything. She looked at the mobile in her hand and decided against it. Play it cool, let him call you. As if by telepathic communication, his name appeared on the screen as it rang. She grinned.

  “Hello.” She kept her tone casual.

  “What are you up to, Gabi?”

  “Watching TV, you?”

  “Interviewing some dancers for the club.”

  “You need more dancers?” She felt a stab of jealousy. He had slept with most of them, would he now be sleeping with more?

  “We need some fresh faces in here, keep the customers sweet. Plus, I’ve had a girl leave, so I’m one down.”

  “Oh right.” Would it be strictly business? Gabi opened her mouth to comment, but thought better of it. It wasn’t like she was his girlfriend. They weren’t official. “Well.” She remained calm. “I’m glad business is going well.”

  “Me too,” he agreed.

  There was an uncomfortable pause. She wanted to ask him when they could meet again. She hoped he’d bring it up.

  “Right.” He sighed. “I better get back to these auditions.”

  Fuck it. If no serious relationship was forthcoming, she didn’t need to put on a front, play it safe, play games, try and impress him. She could just take advantage and have fun whilst she could. “Darion?”

  “Yeah?”

  “I’ve got two weeks off work, if you fancy doing something sometime?”

  Another pause, then, “I’m free on Thursday?”

  “Great, I’ll come to you?”

  “Sure.”

  “Okay. Well, bye then.”

  “See ya.”

  She stuffed her mobile in the pocket of her nightgown and rolled onto her side. She felt stupid getting involved with him. She was already getting jealous. She knew it was a possibility that he could end up hurting her. He had been right to warn her. Yet every time his face popped into her mind, she couldn’t stop from smiling. He was gorgeous, and all she wanted to do was see him, kiss him, lay with him, and get to know the real him. Many women were attracted to bad boys that they believed they could tame, enjoyed a challenge, and she was no different. She would have her fun, be the perfect friend-with-benefits, not stress him in any way, and see what happened. She felt ridiculous for willingly allowing a man to use her, yet she trusted herself. Surely she could handle him.

  When 9 p.m. came around, Lawrence returned home. Gabi reheated his dinner, and had it on the table for him in minutes. He was in a foul mood, and smelt of alcohol. She hated it when he was like this. She knew better than to question him and make matters worse. Sitting opposite one another whilst Gabi savoured every mouthful of her food, Lawrence wolfed his down quickly, eager to leave the table. Afterwards, Gabi gathered the plates to wash. She hated feeling like she was walking on eggshells. Had he suspected something? She was desperate to pry further, but didn’t want to put the thought in his mind.

  “I’m going to bed,” he growled, exiting the room.

  “Are you okay?”

  “Yes, Gabi. Nothing I can’t handle,” he snapped.

  “Lawrence, talk to me,” she pleaded.

  “I’m not in the mood.”

  “You’re never in the mood,” she screamed after him.

  She watched as he took off for the stairs, and then she began scrubbing the plates furiously. Asshole. He never wanted to talk. She could bet money on it they’d be one of those couples in their old age, sitting in a restaurant with nothing to say to one another, their souls dead, plodding along through life. She couldn’t wait to get out of the house soon, and relax in the company of a laid back Darion.

  Chapter Fourteen

  Gabi raced to the bathroom and frantically searched for her red Chanel lipstick. Rummaging through cosmetic bags, she eventually found it, and returned to the stool at her dressing table. Lawrence was still criticising her here and there, and trying to dictate how she lived her life: the way she dressed, the so-called ‘unsuitable friends’ she had, such as Mallory, and how she indulged in a glass of wine a few evenings a week to de-stress. Hypocritical, much? He was still returning home at stupid o’clock, and taking his bad moods out on her. Lawrence promising to change had obviously all been lies. Well, she’d thought as much until he’d sent her a text message, promising to make it up to her, and take her to a fancy restaurant that night.

  She checked the time on her mobile. He’d be parked outside in a matter of minutes. Regardless of everything that had happened between them, Gabi was willing to give Lawrence the benefit of the doubt, to properly discuss the relationship with him. How could she not, after seven years together? She wasn�
�t entirely optimistic that talking would change much, but she felt that she owed it to him.

  Raking her fingers through her silky waves, Gabi decided she was happy with the way she looked. Her red bodycon dress revealed her slim waist, slightly curvaceous hips, and tanned legs. She hooked her Louboutin heels onto her feet, grabbed her handbag, and descended the stairs.

  She waited for him by the window, but after five minutes passed, she went and dropped onto the couch. It was another ten minutes before she attempted to call him.

  “Hi, you’ve reached Lawrence Lovell’s voicemail. If you leave a message, I will return to you as soon as possible.”

  Annoyance creeping over her, she tapped a text message with her perfectly manicured fingers.

  Gabi: Lawrence, where are you?

  When fifteen minutes passed, she poured herself a glass of lemonade, and called him again. His mobile was still switched off. Surely he wouldn’t stand her up? When she’d finished her drink, she felt a pain slice through her heart when she saw that the clock now showed Lawrence was half an hour late. He wasn’t coming. He made her feel rejected, like always. When he came home late from work drunk and argumentative, or stood her up, usually uncontrollable sobs followed, as she questioned herself, whether she was good enough, pretty enough, smart enough. All that was left was anger building up inside of her. How stupid had she been to think that Lawrence cared more about the relationship than he cared about himself, and his own needs. Throwing her hands up in exasperation, she grabbed her car keys and decided to visit Mallory, the only person who understood her.

  ***

  “Here, sweetie.” Mallory handed her a cup of steaming tea. “Now, tell me, what’s happened?”

  “I’m fucking leaving him, Mal. For good.” Gabi sat up and took the cup from her.

  “Why?”

  “Apart from the fact that I don’t enjoy being around him? He’s stood me up. He promised to take me for dinner. I’m so stupid. I knew not to trust him.”

  “He hasn’t called to cancel or anything?”

  Gabi shook her head. She felt the anger drain out of her, leaving her insides empty and hollow. It was the final straw. She wasn’t putting up with his crap and false promises any longer.

  Mallory huffed. “What will you do?”

  “It’s over, Mal. It has to be. Nothing will ever change.” She cradled her cup and took a sip.

  “Perhaps you should move out.”

  “Me, move out? Why me? It’s our house. We both pay the mortgage.”

  “I know, Gab, but you can’t leave him and take away his home.” Mallory sat next to her. “I know he’s been an asshole, but you want to do this as amicably as possible.”

  “Maybe.”

  “Are you sure that this is what you want?”

  “Yes, Mal. I’m more certain now than ever.”

  “It’s not because of that Darion guy, is it?”

  Gabi had filled Mallory in briefly on the way to her friend’s house, regarding her and Darion’s liaison.

  “No,” she said, and meant it.

  “So, how serious is it with you and Darion? Is it just a rebound?”

  She shrugged a shoulder. “I’ve seen him a few times.”

  “Please tell me you’re not falling for him, Gabi, it’s a dangerous game.”

  “I’m not,” she exclaimed. “He’s just a bit of fun.” Gabi knew she sounded uncertain.

  “Can you have ‘just fun’?” Mallory eyed her curiously.

  Gabi nodded.

  “Gab, I know you. You’re gonna end up falling for this guy.”

  “I won’t.”

  “You will. I’m worried about you. I don’t know what his intentions are.”

  “I’ll be fine. He makes me feel alive, Mal. My confidence has rocketed. He makes me do things that I wouldn’t usually do.”

  “Like what?”

  “I don’t know.” She shrugged. “I lose all of my inhibitions. I’m happy, excited, daring around him. He brings out this craziness in me.” Her face lit up, the remnants of her anger diminishing. “As soon as I leave him, I miss him. It’s strange. I can’t seem to keep away from him, even though I know he may be bad for me.”

  “Just finish things with Lawrence first, then have as much fun as you like.”

  “I need to. I can’t go on like this.” Gabi crossed her legs, making herself more comfortable on the sofa. “So, how’s Steve?”

  “He’s great.” Mallory gave her a lopsided grin. “I love him just that bit more each day.”

  “I always wanted that with Lawrence. I did try, Mal, for so long.” She wiped away a tear that rolled down her cheek.

  “I know, honey.” Mallory pulled her into an embrace, causing Gabi to crumple into sobs. “You weren’t compatible, Gab.” Her friend stroked her back gently. “If you married Lawrence, you’d probably end up feeling lonely and trapped. You want to live a little, have fun. You’re still young, for fuck’s sake.”

  Gabi pulled away and dabbed at her face with her sleeve.

  “Just make sure you don’t get attached to Darion.” Mallory squeezed her hand. “I don’t want to see you upset, crying over another man.”

  She nodded vehemently.

  “If you need to crash here for a month or two, the guest room is yours.”

  “Thanks, Mal. I might need to take you up on that offer.”

  ***

  Gabi knew that she had to break it off with Lawrence. He’d have to accept that it was over. When she returned home at 11 p.m. and there was still no sign of him, the compassion she once had for him vanished. Where was he, especially this late? She refused to believe that he was stuck in the office, slaving away at work. No chance. She had that sickening feeling in her stomach again that something wasn’t right, although she was no angel. She didn’t have a leg to stand on, as she’d betrayed him with Darion. There was only so much poor treatment a woman could take before she searched for love and attention elsewhere. Lawrence had practically shoved her into Darion’s arms.

  She’d made up her mind to take Mallory’s offer and crash in her friend’s spare room until she found an apartment. Gabi grabbed her Louis Vuitton suitcase before she lost her courage, and began packing her favourite clothes and the essentials she’d need. She would collect the rest of her stuff another time.

  As she was shoving her shoes into it, she glanced at the clock. 11:30 p.m. She stilled when she heard the front door slam. She sighed heavily and zipped up the case. Here goes.

  “Gabi?”

  “What?” she said through gritted teeth.

  “What are you doing?” he asked as he stood in the doorway.

  “I’m sorry, Lawrence.” She stood up. “I can’t drag this out any longer. I’m leaving.”

  “What?” he yelled. “It’s because I didn’t take you out?”

  “Nope.” She shook her head. “That’s just the icing on the cake.” She crossed her arms across her chest, her lips in a thin line.

  “I’ll take you out tomorrow. Something came up.”

  “What came up, Lawrence?” she screamed, charging toward him, not considering the ramifications of her actions. “Where were you this time?” Her voice was pure steel.

  “At work…”

  She laughed coldly. “Get a new excuse. I can smell the alcohol on your breath!” She returned to her suitcase and picked it up. “You know, I didn’t want it to end this way. I cared for you, Lawrence. I wanted to be civil about it, perhaps even remain friends afterwards, but why bother?”

  “So, this is it then?”

  She nodded.

  “I can’t believe you’re really doing this.” Hurt and anger flashed on his face, and he tilted his head back, looking up at the ceiling. “Don’t go.”

  “I have to.” She tried to nudge past him.

  “Gabi,” he bellowed, frightening her. Yanking the suitcase from her, he threw it across the room. “Let’s talk about this.”

  “Nothing you can say will change my mind.�
�� She strode toward the suitcase and picked it up. “I’m not living this life anymore. Nothing will ever change, and we both know it,” she screamed.

  “You can’t just walk out of here.” His face flushed red.

  “Lawrence, I can, and I am.”

  He pushed her forcefully, causing her to drop the case and land on the bed with a thud. “You can’t do this, Gabi. You can’t leave me.”

  “Lawrence.” She sat up. “Move out of the way.”

  He towered over her. “Was I so bad?” he cried out. “Did I treat you that bad, Gabi?”

  “No, but you didn’t treat me that good either,” she spat. She scrambled to her feet. “You pushed me away, and now it’s too late.” Tears stung her lower lids, making her feel weak and pathetic.

  “You’ll regret this, Gabi.”

  “Is that a threat?” Anger warmed her cheeks.

  “No. But you’re making the wrong decision.”

  “It’s a risk I’m willing to take.” She couldn’t possibly be any less happy. She took hold of her case again. “I’m doing what I think is right. We both deserve better. You’ll thank me in the future.” She hoped.

  She made her way down the stairs, but he followed her.

  Gabi opened the front door and headed for her car. Unlocking the boot, she placed the suitcase inside, and glanced at Lawrence one final time. She heard the sound of his voice echoing her name. When she got into the car, his voice was blocked out. She only made it around the corner when she had to pull over and kill the engine.

  She buried her face in her hands, crying hysterically. Even though she partly hated him, she still felt something for him. She hoped he would be okay. She hoped that he would find someone that was perfect for him, someone who could be the woman he wanted. He’ll be fine. But would she be okay?

  She looked up at the rain that was now hitting the windscreen and wiped her damp cheeks. With a heartfelt sigh, she started the engine and drove away from Lawrence and her old life. It was time to finally and properly move forward.