***
Somehow I'm standing in the strangely lit place, my mind numb, but no longer filled with darkness. “Cailli?”
“Yes, child, I'm here. It looks as though you will be spending some time with me; but not in this place.” We appear in the forest within. “Ah, that's better. Why don't you wander around for a while, let the peace of the place sink into your soul. I'll be back soon, and then we can continue your training.”
I don't get to ask a single question, she disappears too quickly. These are the same woods Lucian had brought me to, but now I am alone to wander them freely. Cailli was right, the peacefulness does sink into oneself, it's almost like walking the forests of my home. The forests that likely aren't there anymore… no, I will not think of that, not now. I spin around, listening to the beauty around me, willing it to sink into my pores, to fill my soul.
I hear gentle laughter nearby. “It is indeed nice to see our forest enjoyed with such abandon.”
“Fauna!”
“Greetings, Shi'ahn.”
“I'm sorry – is this forest also yours?”
“They are one and the same, linked metaphysically, if you know how to look. But remember, you are welcome here.”
“Thank you. I just love this place.”
“I am glad that part of you has not changed.”
“Oh, this.” I hold out my arms. “No, not even this can take from me my love of nature. Nothing can do that.”
“Tell me, Shi'ahn, how did it happen?”
“Cailli did it to me – to repair the damage I took from… curiosity.”
“What kind of damage?”
“I had been investigating the nature of the edge of the universe, such a thing being a concept I wasn't familiar with, and, I was attacked by something from the other side.”
“You what?!! No one told us of this!”
“I was taken to the Emperor afterward. He seemed more upset by my current condition than by the cause of my injury.”
She makes an almost rude noise, “That sounds like Augustus, alright. Can't see the forest for the trees. I'll hazard he doesn't like you, does he?”
“No, I suspect he even hates me.”
She steps up and puts an arm around me, “Well, consider yourself in good company. Come, walk with me – I know a place you're sure to love!”
Taking my hand, she leads me quite a ways along a path only she can see. It's both strange and wonderful to have someone casually touch me as only William has in the past, it's almost as though we have always been friends. She points out wonders unlike I have ever seen before – this is truly the greatest of all worldly forests. We eventually reach a veritable wall of trees, so dense there is no way past them – or so I think. She lifts up the hand holding mine and reaches toward a tree that, while visually is no different from the others, sings a slightly different song than the ones surrounding it.
'Touch it with me.' Her mental voice is like trees sighing in the wind. Minds linked, we touch the tree together; I hear something like a lock chime in my mind and the tree shimmers away, opening up a hidden pathway. Her smile is sunshine, “Come, this way.” Still holding my hand, she leads me into a wondrous place. It is somehow enclosed from the rest of the forest, almost as though it is a cave, but it isn't, is it?
“This is Caverna Cernunnos; my father created it long ago, with Cailliach's help.”
“Your father created this?”
“It was his private getaway when the stresses of the throne wore him down.”
“The throne?”
She sighs in resignation. “I suppose Augustus has all but written him out of history, and I suppose I'm not surprised. My father was the third Emperor of our realm. When his time came to step down, he did not wish to join the Seraphim, he asked to become a steward of the land. He chose the form of a stag, knowing full well that he would never be able to return to his original form.”
“The Great Stag is our third Emperor?” My eyes widen in wonder and disbelief. “You said Seraphim – what are they?”
This time she snorts in disgust, “I can't believe Augustus has buried so much history! All right, let me explain. When it was time for an Emperor to step down, he would be given two options. He could become one of the Seraphim, those beings that will one day serve the Bodhisattva, or he could choose stasis, never to be awoken until the end of times when the strength of all will be needed for Lumina to survive. Father wished neither; he felt that the land he loved so dearly needed a guardian. Since then only one other has chosen such a calling; Varuna guards the sea.”
I don't know what to say. “One would think that the Emperor would have mentioned such resources in the war councils.”
“What war councils?” Her voice is steel.
“We are at war with Chaos. Nero, the Heir's son, killed the Magni Dominar and they are attacking our realm with greater coordination than they have ever shown before. Novanus believes they are even trying to create 'Passages' into our realm, or as close as possible.”
She stares at me, incredulous. “Why have we not been informed?”
I can only shrug and shake my head. “I do not know – it seems terribly inappropriate. If you would like, I can try to keep you up to date on what is happening in the Citadel.”
She looks deeply into my eyes, looking for, and I think finding, something of meaning to her. “Yes, Shi'ahn, I would greatly appreciate that.” Then she smiles, “There is one more thing I would like to show you.” Again she takes my hand and I let her touch, even guide my mind. She shows me what to her is the feel of the place, though I would think of it as very near its harmony. There is one particular place, or to me note, that can be shifted, changed. We do so together and the sky opens up, the night sky showing the entire Universe. “This was Father's private observatory. As you attune your mind to it, as I am certain you will, you can inspect any world you wish.”
I'm astonished, “This seems more real, perhaps more accurate than the night sky in the underground gardens.”
“It is indeed. That one is a mere projection of what is visible on the downside, while this shows what is really out there, right now.”
“But light doesn't travel instantaneously!”
“Light, as I understand it, has little to do with how this representation works. The Cailliach created it for my father.”
I listen to it, and she is right - it is a Harmony projection! And yet, I hear a strong technological basis as well. “Fauna, I hear that your are correct, and yet even the amazing computers I've encountered here would not be able to process this much data.”
She smiles kindly, “You have so much to learn. The computers common in the Citadel are as nothing compared to those created by the Cailliach. Hers utilize all nine dimensions; although none of us truly understand how she manages it, considering how unsuited many of them are for computing.”
“Ah, so with a single processor, she computes in decimal.”
Her laughter surprises me, “No, no, no. Remember, computers within the Spire are not subject to the fluctuation of dimensions. Whatever the Cailliach says works here, works. Always. Simply tracking how many dimensions are present at any given time would be simplistic and wasteful for her. She also uses three processors, giving her, well, as I do not know for certain how she utilizes the dimensions, I cannot give you an exact figure. Suffice it to say that she has at her disposal a very large number of permutations.”
“What base does she use?”
“I have no idea. I'm sure it is a brutally complicated one, though.”
It takes me a moment to wrap my mind around the concept, “No one can think like that!”
“Agreed, almost. No one but the Cailliach, and, when properly trained… certain Nebulaeans.”
“I could never…”
Again that playful smile, “Never say never. Your line is, shall we say, different.”
“But, Alma said that all of Lumina depends upon the decimal system.”
“For all of her li
ne, it does. Their intellect, and mine, for that matter, is limited. Yours is not. You are Star Stuff – Universe Born.”
“Even if it is possible to think in such a way – why? Who in their right mind would purposely make things so difficult for themselves?”
“Remember, while the oldest of the Imperial line measures his life in mere thousands of years, the Cailliach measures hers in billions. She is devoted to seeking knowledge and using it for the protection of our realm. Think of it, by using such an outlandishly complicated system, she can be absolutely, utterly certain that no one can compromise her computational systems.”
… “You have a point.”
Her laughter sounds like someone shaking a broad-leafed tree on a windy day, “I sense, Shi'ahn, that you have a lot to contemplate, and that you are in need a refuge from the court. Feel free to use this place as your own private sanctuary; somehow it feels to me as though you belong here.” Her expression turns serious. “Shi'ahn, may I see your transport crystal? I wish to give you my image for communication, if I may.”
I pause a moment, wondering, should I give her the one she can sense, or my hidden one? I decide on the good one. I smile sheepishly and lift it from my bodice, her eyes widen.
“Oh my! A gift from Cailliach, I presume?”
“Yes, she said the other one wasn't good enough, but that I should not flaunt this one. What do you need to do?”
She reaches out and touches it, I sense her concentrate and there is a flash in my mind that emanates from within the jewel. “There, it is done. Thank you, Shi'ahn. If for some reason I need to speak to you, my image will come into your mind. If you can, concentrate on it and we will be able to speak. You likewise should be able to contact me. Now I must report to my father.” She vanishes, leaving me alone in this most wondrous place.
I return my mind to the feel/harmony she altered to reveal the night sky, trying to undo what she had done, it takes a moment, but I get it. Then I return the night sky and revel in the beauty, dancing beneath it, letting it fill me with wonder and joy.
~~~
“Well, this is certainly an improvement!”
“Cailli! Isn't it beautiful?”
“Indeed it is. Tell me, how did you find this place?”
“Fauna brought me here. She even said I could use it as my private sanctuary!”
“Did she? I wonder what led her to be so generous with a stranger?”
“We've met before, in the Great Forest outdoors.”
“How did she seem?”
I smile, “Wonderfully friendly, she makes me feel comfortable. She even filled me in on some family history that isn't in my library. She was rather upset, though, to learn of the war with Chaos – would you believe no one had told them?”
“Augustus did not send any warning?”
“No, none at all. I offered to keep them up to date with whatever I learn, she seemed pleased with that.”
Cailli crosses her arms, leans against a tree and smiles.
“What?”
“You seem to fit in well here, better than in the citadel.”
I pause, “Yes. Why is that?”
Her smile drops away. “It is time to continue your education. I think, considering Cernunnos had not been informed of our current situation, Varuna most likely remains oblivious as well. Come, take a swim with me.”
We're engulfed in shimmering light, and then we are deep underwater! I begin to cast a breathing spell, but Cailli shakes her head.
“Don't be silly, child, I've taken care of that. Just take a nice, deep breath – without opening your mouth or drawing through your nose.”
What? She turns her head and shows me her gills. But… how do I use gills? Cailli reaches out and pinches my nostrils shut while also covering my mouth.
“Don't worry, you'll figure it out soon.”
I wish I shared her confidence. I feel like I'm about to turn blue, I become weak. Just as I expect my lungs to explode I feel the oddest thing, my throat gets wider, feels cool, and strength rushes back into me!
“See, nothing to it. Even though the mind balks, the body will do what it must to survive. And you can speak, child; I've taken care of that as well.”
“It tickles!”
Cailli laughs, “I've heard far worse in similar circumstances. Come, follow me.”
We swim impossibly deep, I find myself worrying about water pressure. She must be listening to my thoughts.
“Think, child. Mere water pressure won't harm you in your state, and it can't hurt me either. You and I are far more real than the water surrounding us.”
There she goes, bringing reality into it again. But, that's what she's all about.
“Cailli, is there anything I should know about this Varuna we seek?”
She smiles, “He was an excellent Emperor, our ninth. He was known as “The Just.” He was well-loved, almost worshiped – lesser beings referred to him as the Sun God. His reign was long, but eventually it became time for him to step down. He had begun to weary of the unending stresses of the throne, and his eldest son was at the height of his training – more than ready to take up the responsibilities. I was anxious for him to join the Seraphim, but he was never one to sit and bide his time; he loved action, and he loved the sea. I tried to dissuade him, but in truth a guardian of the sea had great potential benefits. I eventually relented.” As she speaks she leads me down to the very bottom of the ocean, to a hole in the floor of it. We swim through a tunnel that opens out into a vast chamber, like an underwater throne room. It teems with life of more kinds than I can even contemplate, and at the very center is… a God. A god of gold and light, sitting sideways yet perfectly erect upon an underwater dragon. We approach and the great being turns its full attention our way. A voice rings out in… the water, my mind… my soul? It addresses us.
“What have we here – what have you brought into my presence, Ancient One?”
We stop approaching, but the dragon brings the being right up to us. To me. He reaches out and takes my chin in his hand.
“What have you brought me?”
“This, Varuna, is Shi'ahn.” When she says my name she makes it sound almost exactly as what my name represents, a hand drawn quickly through water, followed by the sigh of the sprayed droplets returning to the lake.
“A name of the sea!” He looks deeply into my eyes, inspecting me much like Cailli does. “This one is entirely without sin, not a single act of cruelty has she committed. She is also innocent of many things that are not sinful; she is inexperienced, incomplete. Unfinished, and yet an Avatar of Order. I accept your gift, Ancient One.”
My mind had locked with his touch. He looks directly into my soul and it feels so… intimate. I almost hear him whisper to me, calling me to be his, to join with him. He fills my mind and body with golden light; with glory of a kind I am not familiar. All this could be ours; he will complete me.
Cailli's distressed voice breaks through to my consciousness, “She is not a gift, Varuna! I – we all need her as she is.”
His eyes narrow, but he cocks his head curiously and releases my mind, “What are you up to, Cailliach?”
“I merely wished you to meet her, my student, you could say. She is concerned that there is information that should have been shared with you, but may not have been.”
He turns his full attention back to me. “What knowledge do you wish to share with me?”
I take a deep breath, trying to clear the last of that strange warmth from my mind, “We are at war. The current heir's son, Nero, killed the Magni Dominar, and those of Chaos have launched the most concerted, cooperative effort to destroy us that has ever been mustered. Novanus believes they are even working on creating a Passage into or near Lumina. So far, we have not been able to stop them.”
His gaze is so intense! “How long ago did this begin?”
I'm not sure how to answer him. Cailli comes to my rescue.
“Just over a week ago. Shi'ahn has spent much of that ti
me detained. Indeed I now hold her in my custody because the political environment in the court is inadequate for her development.”
Varuna holds her gaze for a moment, then turns his all seeing eyes upon me. “Tell me, child, how is it that you now find yourself in your highly unusual state?”
“I…” How many times am I going to have to admit to my foolishness? “I'm new here, and the idea of the edge of the universe was such a foreign concept to me – I just had to investigate it. And when I did I was attacked, by something from the other side.” The look in Varuna's eyes as he quickly glances at Cailli gives me pause.
His voice, while not threatening, is commanding. “Continue, child.”
“It was terrible! It screamed of disharmony, of wrongness, and it tried to tear out my soul! I don't remember much after that, just unbearable pain, tears in the darkness.”
“Abominations? I remember that word echoing throughout the oceans a short while back.”
“Yes, that was me. Cailli took me to the Staircase of Enlightenment after that, to the forest beyond the end of everything… and, this is what I became.” I hold out my arms in explanation.
Varuna isn't looking at me anymore, he shares an intense gaze with Cailli. “I see. Thank you, Ancient One, for sharing this revelation.” He turns back to me, reaches out for my hand and raises it to his lips. My mind is once again filled with light, which echoes in the jewel hidden against my breast. I also hear lingering strains of music, Cailli's music. When my eyesight returns the golden god smiles down at me. “Please contact me if you learn of something you think I should know, and I shall do the same.” The dragon upon which he sits moves away, taking the amazing one with it. Cailli and I are engulfed in sparkling light, and find ourselves once again in the beautiful forest within Caverna Cernunnos. We are perfectly dry and my lungs work properly. I would ask how she does it, but it would be pointless.
“That went quite well, I think. I suspect you could use some rest, Shi'ahn, and so I ask you, would you like me to assign you a room within my tower, or would you prefer to stay here?”
I have no need to pause and think, “Here – I'll stay here!”
Between Darkness and Light Trilogy Page 35