He sucked in a breath, then pulled me back to his face and proceeded to kiss me senseless. Somewhere in the back of my mind it registered that Dan had unhooked my bra, but it wasn’t until I felt his mouth on my breast, that I realized it was gone.
As promised, he loved every inch of me. He nuzzled my breasts before moving up to my neck and nibbling on a particularly sensitive spot he remembered. Then back to my breasts where he sucked my nipples into tight points that ached and anxiously awaited his next touch. His hot mouth skimmed down my stomach and nibbled at my belly button.
He hooked his fingers beneath the waistband of my panties and pulled them slowly down my legs. He stared for several heartbeats, heating me with his gaze, before he leaned down and kissed my knee. Slowly, deliberately, he inched his way up my leg, alternately kissing and nibbling my skin.
When he settled between my thighs and placed a kiss at their juncture, I nearly jumped off the bed. Dan placed a restraining hand on my belly as his eyes met mine over the expanse of my body. He continued his sensuous torture, laving and nipping and sucking until I didn’t think I could take any more.
I closed my eyes as though blocking out the sight of what he was doing would stop the sensation. It only intensified it, and when Dan slipped a finger inside me, I shattered. When I came back to reality, he was beside me, naked, condom in hand.
“This time, I’m not leaving,” he muttered, before engaging me in a no holds barred, tongue tangling, toe-curling kiss.
“I don’t want you to,” I panted, ripping the condom from his hand. I pushed him onto his back and proceeded to touch him as I’d wanted to for so long.
I ran my hands over his chest, while nibbling on his neck, behind his ear. Slowly, I moved down, suckling first one, then the other nipple. Moving lower, I nipped his navel, as he’d done to me and was rewarded with a moan. His reaction was probably more due to the fact that my chin had brushed the sensitized tip of his penis than belly button sensitivity.
I raised my head and looked down before meeting his gaze. His green eyes glowed, begging. How could I refuse? I leaned down and ran the tip of my tongue along the length of him before taking just the tip into my mouth and sucking on it like a lollypop.
“Bri,” Dan moaned. “That feels…” He seemed to lose whatever he was going to say when I lowered my mouth, taking in as much of him as I could. While I have done this particular action before, I can’t say I’ve ever enjoyed it so much. I was just getting into it when Dan’s fingers tangled through my hair, stopping my movements.
“Stop,” he gasped.
I looked up. His face was twisted with what looked like anguish. If I didn’t know better, I’d think he was in pain.
“Come here, baby,” he said as he pulled me up the length of his body. “Do you have any idea what you do to me?” he asked. I assumed it was a rhetorical question, so I remained silent. “It was almost over for a second there,” he admitted around a wry smile.
“We certainly don’t want that, do we?” I said, as I ripped the condom open. I rolled it down the length of him, caressing along the way. I was ready to play again, but Dan had other ideas. Before I knew what was happening, I was on my back with him leaning over me. His hands pinned mine to the mattress just beside my head.
“I can’t have those clever hands on me, or I might embarrass myself.” He kissed me and settled between my legs. As his therapist, I should have been concerned about his leg, but I only had one thing on my mind and that was getting Dan inside me. I wrapped my right leg around his left, urging him closer. He complied.
The tip of his penis teased me and I arched my back, wanting him closer still. Again he complied and slipped inside. I gasped at the same time Dan groaned.
He moved his hips slightly, barely rubbing himself against me. I reached down and squeezed his rear end urging him on. He pulled back slightly, then pushed forward and went nowhere.
“Bend your knees,” he panted. I did as he asked then proceeded to wrap my legs around his waist. This time when he flexed his hips, he slipped inside. “Oh man, Bri, you’re so tight. So good.”
He kissed me and started pumping. I nearly lost it at his first thrust, but figured if he could be strong, so could I.
Dan pulled back and looked into my eyes and I realized this wasn’t a dream. I’m not going to wake up in a pool of sweat, with the covers tangled around my legs, an unfulfilled longing throbbing between them. There may be heat and tangled covers, but I will definitely not be unfulfilled.
Dan groaned and picked up the pace. “Sabrina,” he said, his voice a mere rasp in my ear.
He pumped in and out in a fast rhythm and I lifted my hips to meet his every thrust. It didn’t take much of that before I got sucked into a vortex of sensation. I let out a long, hoarse moan as a fierce orgasm racked through my entire body, shaking me to the core. Some part of my brain registered the fact that Dan had let out his own shout just before he collapsed on top of me.
Dan’s weight should have felt oppressive, but I relished in its feel. In fact, when he tried to pull back, I wouldn’t let him.
“I’m crushing you,” he said.
“It feels wonderful. Don’t move just yet.”
He rested his head on my shoulder for a moment before pulling back slightly and looking me in the eye. “Please tell me this isn’t a dream.”
I smiled and kissed his chin. “It’s not a dream,” I reassured him.
“Thank you,” he said and settled his head on my shoulder once again.
I can’t say how much time passed before I had to allow Dan to move. He shifted onto his side, and after ridding himself of the condom, pulled me into the circle of his arms. I rested my head on his shoulder, trying not to think too much, because if I did, I’d probably regret everything that just happened. And I don’t want to do that…not yet, anyway.
I snuck a quick peek at his face and my heart skipped a beat. His eyes were closed and his mouth curved into a soft, contented smile. My heart swelled. Yes, I actually felt it swell in my chest.
It wasn’t just good sex—okay, great sex—that put that look on his face, I knew. It was more than simple physical release that made him look so satisfied. Emotions were also involved. Deep, loving emotions. The reason I’m so certain is because I’d bet anything that before the panic took over, I had the same exact look on my face. And before the panic entered my heart, all those emotions had filled me too.
Dan must have felt my gaze, because his eyes shifted my way. He squeezed me closer to him and placed a kiss on my forehead. “Please don’t regret this,” he whispered. “It was too special to ever regret.”
“I don’t,” I started, but Dan placed his index finger on my mouth, stopping the words from spilling out.
“Sabrina, I saw your face. You looked like a deer caught in a pair of quickly approaching headlights.” His sweet smile calmed me a bit. “Do you want to talk about it?”
Now there’s a question. Do I want to talk about it? Yes. No. Maybe. Hell, I don’t know. I do know that I have to be honest with him if we’re going to have any kind of chance.
I stiffened. Where the hell did that thought come from? A chance? A chance at what? Just because we had sex doesn’t mean we’ll live happily ever after, no matter how bright the afterglow.
“Don’t shut me out.” I heard Dan say. His fingers exerted pressure on my chin, bringing my eyes into contact with his. “Not now. Please talk to me, honey.”
Between his pleading tone and his even more pleading gaze, how could I refuse? I cleared my throat then pulled away from the safe harbor of his embrace. His eyes are distracting enough. I don’t need his touch muddling my mind.
“I don’t regret this, Dan. I’m just…” I gestured vaguely. “Confused, I guess is as good a word as any.”
“What about?”
“You. My reaction to you.” I shrugged. “Everything.” I’m normally a very articulate person, but now I don’t have a clue how I can make him understand the turmoil
I feel.
“Dan, for two years I loved you. You were as essential to me as air. I didn’t think I could live without you. But I had to, and I did. And then I hated you for ten years.” I averted my gaze and focused on the blue sheet that covered our bodies. Anything was better than seeing his reaction to my words. But hey, he asked.
“In my mind, I recreated you as someone I could hate, someone so horrible, someone I could never love. I blamed you for every bad experience and failed relationship I had, when in fact it was my own insecurities that were at fault.” I chuckled. “Though some of the guys were jerks.”
“I’m sure they were,” Dan agreed, humor lacing his words.
His voice relaxed me, and I wanted to open up to him. I wanted him to understand how I felt all these years, why I reacted to him like I did when I first arrived.
I met his eyes again, knowing he’d be able to read my feelings even as he heard my words. “After I broke up with you, I was shattered. Thank God it was the end of the semester because I was an absolute mess. I went home and holed up in my room for a month. Kevin dragged me out and made me go places, but my heart wasn’t in it.”
I took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “I pulled myself together in time to go back to school, but when I returned it was awful. Everything reminded me of you. That’s when I created mutant Dan in my mind. It helped me get through senior year, but did very little for my personal growth.”
“What do you mean?”
“I shut myself off. Not from my family or friends, but from men.” He probably didn’t want to hear this, but he was going to anyway. “I didn’t give them a chance. I mean, on the surface I did, but in the back of my mind, I was always waiting for them to screw up, or at the very least do something I could turn into a major screw up.” My laugh sounded humorless. “The poor soul I dated right after you must still think I’m a psycho.”
“Why’s that?”
“Because I went from hot to cold and back again in the blink of an eye. I tried to convince myself I was going to be casual about relationships, but that’s just not me. So one minute I’d be telling him we didn’t have to spend every waking minute together and the next I’d be grilling him about his whereabouts. Do you know what happened when I decided to have sex with him?”
Dan flinched at the question, but nodded anyway.
“I practically jumped him, but once it was over, I cried like a baby. He tried to talk to me, find out what was wrong, but I tuned him out. He left and called me the next day and told me he thought it would be best if we took a break.” I snorted. “Of course, I twisted it into ‘he got his and now he wants out’.”
“Why did you cry?”
“What?”
“Why did you cry? Was it so awful? Did he hurt you?” The last question was asked through gritted teeth.
“No, nothing like that.”
“Then why?”
“Because he wasn’t you.” My voice was a mere whisper.
Dan remained silent and I looked up to see if he’d heard me. Oh yeah, he did. His eyes glowed with emotion. Before I could sort through them all, he pulled me to him and engulfed me in his embrace.
“I am so sorry, Sabrina.” His voice sounded thick. “I never meant to hurt you like that. You have to believe me.” He pulled back just enough to look into my eyes. “Please say you believe me.”
“I believe you.” And I honestly do. He looked too tortured to be lying.
“Thank you,” he said against my lips.
The kiss that followed was so sweet I nearly burst into tears. The loving that followed was so languorous and tender, I actually did.
Dan kissed each teardrop away and smiled. “You don’t have to cry honey, it’s me. And I’ll never hurt you again. I promise.”
Chapter Twenty-four
I felt like I was floating on air. Two weeks had passed since Dan and I made love and things have been wonderful, amazing even. So amazingly wonderful in fact, I’ve decided to call Jodi and have her schedule my vacation so I can stay longer. I’m not ready to move in, as he’s suggested many times, but I’m not ready to leave either.
Dan’s progress has been incredible and I can’t justify staying on as his therapist much longer. He knows the routine well enough to do it on his own and now it’s only a matter of him building up his strength again.
“This is Jodi. Can I help you?” I heard through the phone, dragging me from my thoughts.
“Hey Jodi, it’s Sabrina.”
“Well, hello stranger. I thought you’d be calling me every hour on the hour for the past twelve weeks.”
“That’s not my style,” I said. “You know that.”
“So, how’s it going?”
“Good. Great actually. In fact I’d say my job here is done.”
“So he’s as good as new?”
“Pretty much. He just needs to build up his muscles again and he can do that with the team trainer.”
“You’re a miracle worker, Sabrina.”
“He did all the work.”
“Is that admiration I hear in your voice?” Jodi teased.
“Maybe.”
“Well, whatever it is, I’m glad everything worked out. I have to admit I was a little worried after your initial reaction to the assignment.” I didn’t comment. Jodi continued. “Your papers are drawn. You can have someone look at them when you get back, but I think you’ll be happy with the terms.”
Again, I didn’t comment. In fact, I was thinking about the fact that I’d totally forgotten about the partnership when it had been my main reason for coming here. Or was it? I just don’t know anymore.
“Sabrina?” Jodi yelled.
“What?”
“I asked when you’ll be back.”
“That’s, uh, that’s actually what I’m calling about.”
“Well?” Jodi dragged out the word theatrically.
“I’d like to take my vacation before returning. I figure you already have me off the schedule anyway.”
“Why?”
“Why what?”
“Why are you taking your vacation now?”
I didn’t think that was any of her business, and told her so.
“Something happened, didn’t it?” I chose not to answer. “Between you and Dan?” Again, I didn’t answer, but Jodi was obviously drawing her own conclusions. She let out a screech and said, “Oh Sabrina, I’m so happy for you. Jealous as hell,” she added. “But still happy.”
“Jodi don’t—”
“Don’t you worry. My lips are sealed,” she declared, which basically means that she’ll only tell fifty people instead of the usual hundred.
“Do you want your full three weeks?” she asked.
“Put me down for all three weeks. I’ll let you know if I’ll be in sooner. I know it’s easier to add me to the schedule than pull me off.”
“Okay. Will do.”
I switched the phone off and returned it to its cradle, trying not to think too much about what I’d just done. In fact, I’ve been trying not to think too much about anything lately, because if I do, surely I’ll panic. I turned the leather desk chair around to face the window. Propping one foot up on the sill, I reclined slightly and settled in to enjoy the view.
“There you are,” Dan said, from directly behind me. “I wondered where you’d disappeared to.” He propped his hip on the edge of the desk as I turned to face him.
“I had to call Jodi and check my email.”
Dan’s smile slipped slightly at the mention of Jodi, but he quickly recovered. “Lexi and I are heading out for ice cream and we were wondering if you’d like to come.”
“You two are trying to make me fat, aren’t you?”
He held up his hands as if in surrender. “Hey, we just invited you, you don’t have to come.”
I made a noise that was a cross between a laugh and a snort. “Like I can turn down a brownie a la mode.”
He grasped my hand and pulled me toward him, sliding his hands around
my waist. Squeezing lightly, he cocked his head to the side as if trying to decide something. Then he shook his head and kissed me lightly on the lips. “I’d say you’re perfect. If anything, you could stand to gain a few pounds.”
“God forbid.”
“At any rate,” he said as he moved his hands to my back and pulled me closer still. I complied and wrapped my arms around his neck. “It doesn’t matter. I’d love you even if you weighted three hundred pounds.”
His eyes held mine, not allowing me to look away, not letting me ignore his words. The words he hadn’t said since we’d gotten back together. The words I knew were true, yet couldn’t bring myself to say back to him. Not just yet.
“Well, that’s good to know.” I attempted to sound light-hearted, but my voice was too hoarse with emotion to pull it off.
“I do love you,” Dan stated, more firmly this time.
I heard a noise in the hallway and turned my attention there instead of responding to Dan. Leaning slightly to the side, I peered around Dan’s arm, but didn’t see anything.
“What’s wrong?” he asked, shifting his gaze to the doorway.
“I thought I heard someone.”
He slid his arms from around me and walked to the door. I tied to ignore how cold I felt without his arms around me, but wasn’t very successful. Thankfully, he returned to my side—or my front, as the case may be—immediately.
“I didn’t see anyone.”
“You don’t think it was Lexi, do you?”
Dan and I have been trying our best to keep our budding relationship from his daughter. She’s too attached to me as it is. I don’t want to get her hopes up about Dan and me, only to disappoint her.
He shook his head then lowered it to nibble on my neck. “She was watching the end of Sponge Bob. Nothing short of a nuclear blast would tear her away.” His breath fanned my skin, heating it, but raising goosebumps at the same time.
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