Never Kiss a Rockstar (Never Trust Book 2)

by Sarah Darlington

  DANI

  My phone had been buzzing on repeat all day.

  Luke: I told Caleb

  Luke: We are waiting on the paternity test.

  Luke: Well… Caleb Junior is mine. I’m a father. Holy shit, I’m freaking out.

  After that, messages from Caleb flooded my phone.

  Caleb: We need to FaceTime.

  Caleb: I have some songs I need everyone to help me put music to. Seriously, now. And then I’m on the first flight back to North Carolina.

  What? Shock hit me reading that last text. It was the one that got me out of my seat. It had been a week since Luke left on Thanksgiving Day and since I told John I loved him. Was Luke only now getting around to telling Caleb the truth? Why wasn’t Caleb angrier than this? I guess because Emma meant everything to him. I left the reception desk. I’d come in to Kill Devil Ink with John today, and I went to go find him in the back.

  Coincidentally, of all people, Emma’s aunt, Luce was in today. I didn’t understand their age gap. Best guess—Luce was my age. So that must mean Emma’s mom was significantly older.

  Luce had a giant hibiscus tattoo on her neck. And she had some other grand design she wanted John to help her create. He sat at a table, while she hovered over his shoulder as he sketched on a big piece of white paper. I noticed an elephant somewhere in the beautiful chaos he was creating.

  “Hey.” I knocked gently on the open door.

  “Hey.” He glanced up and his gaze sent shivers through me. We hadn’t been able to keep our hands off each other since we clarified our feelings for one another.

  “Um.” I didn’t want to say anything about Caleb in front of Luce. I’d always gotten the vibe that she hated my family’s guts. Even now, my eyes flickered to hers and she gave me that same nasty feeling. She’d have to get with the fucking program soon. Caleb loved Emma. He was coming for her. “I need to get back to my drums. Something came up.” I thumped my fingers against my thigh. I could feel the anxiety seeping into my bones. That itch to play started digging in and taking its hold over me.

  “Take my car.”

  “Then how will you get home?”

  I kept accidentally calling his place ‘home.’ And as I said the word, again so easily, Luce’s eyes narrowed. I didn’t give a fuck what she thought of me. Or my relationship with John. He was my home now.

  “You could come back in a couple hours to pick me up?” he suggested.

  “This is going to take more than a couple hours.”

  “Then we’ll leave together. I don’t want you driving anyway.” He glanced down at my rabid hand. I stopped fidgeting the moment he made me aware of it. “Luce,” he said to her. “This design will take me a few more hours. I’ll work on it at home and start sending you pictures. You still have weeks, don’t you? I’ll perfect it by the time you’re ready for it. Don’t worry, I know how important this is.”

  “Okay.” She nodded. “Thanks, John.” She briefly touched his shoulder, which sent a burst of rage through me, before she left the room. She didn’t even say goodbye as she brushed passed me.

  I wanted to ask him where the fuck on her body she wanted this very large tattoo. Where he’d have to touch her. Her back? Her chest? A whole leg? But I knew John loved me. I knew he touched bodies every day. I shook off the feeling, trying to push aside my crazy. He’d already given up piercing for me. I wouldn’t ask him to give up anything else. I knew how much he loved his art. Besides, I trusted him.

  “Take a breath, Dani. What’s going on?” He stood from the table, rolling the paper into a cardboard tube.

  “Caleb Junior is Luke’s kid.”

  “Okay.” He didn’t seem surprised.

  “And Caleb wants to work on some new songs. My guess is it’s something he’s written for Emma. His outlet for everything is writing. My guess is he’s written about ten songs in the time they’ve been apart. Then he’s coming home. I mean coming here. I mean coming to North Carolina. You know what I mean.”

  John had his artwork rolled up in his hand—Luce’s future tattoo—and he stepped toward me. “You keep doing that. Calling North Carolina your home. Is it?”

  I felt my cheeks burn. John loved to talk about anything that made me squirm and my heart thump. I think he enjoyed getting the exact reaction I was giving him now. “I love Tennessee,” I said.

  “That wasn’t what I asked.” He pressed his mouth to my neck, flicking his tongue across my skin. I breathed in deeply. Having him so close to me, I could smell his familiar scent. Pine—like the soap he used in the shower. Leather—like the couches in the front of the shop. And sexy—like only John smelled. I wanted to roll around in his scent.

  “You’re my home,” I uttered. “You already know that.”

  He removed his lips from my neck, pulling back to look at me. “I like to hear you say it. I can never get enough of that. We’ll split our time between here and Tennessee. Amanda and Finn are good at running Kill Devil Ink when I’m not here. Seems easy enough, right? I’ll sell all the cars in my garage. Because… why the fuck am I even holding onto any of them? And we can convert that space into a sound proof room or recording studio or whatever you need for your music. Maybe if Caleb and Emma get back together, he’ll be spending a lot more time here as well. I don’t know what we’ll do when you’re on tour. We’ll cross that fucking bridge later.”

  Wow. He’d given all of this a lot of thought. He wanted to remodel his house just to fit me in? It warmed my heart as I pictured our future playing out. But the tour thing? That scared the crap out of me. My band was on tour six months out of the year. And that time was nonstop crazy, a concert in a different city almost every night of the week. Would he travel with me? Be on the edge of the stage or in the crowd every night? I know the famous thing bothered him. How would that part of my lifestyle fit with his need to seclude himself from the world? We had yet to be tested like that.

  Thinking about it sent my heart racing with fear. I had to hope John loved me enough to adapt. Our eyes met for a moment and I think we both had the same worry. But I decided I wouldn’t let it break us apart. We’d figure something out. We just had to. Start doing smaller venues, shorter tours, less cities. Luke had a kid now. That meant we couldn’t keep up with this same lifestyle, anyway. Right?

  “Let’s get home so you can help Caleb get back with Emma. From what Luce just told me, I think she could use him here.”

  “What do you mean? What did Luce say?”

  “He just needs to get home.”

  ~ CHAPTER 37 ~

  JOHN

  Emma had a double mastectomy. Luce told me this only an hour ago. I knew their mother had breast cancer. I hadn’t known Luce and Emma had the breast cancer gene, or had been considering this surgery. Apparently, Luce was supposed to go first, and Emma had insisted on taking her appointment.

  She’d had her surgery a week ago.

  Luce had come in my shop today wanting me to start designing a tattoo that would eventually cover the scars her surgery would leave.

  The second the words left Luce’s mouth, she made me promise not to tell Dani. It wasn’t a promise I would have kept, but Dani came into the room saying Caleb was coming soon enough anyway. Good. I felt Caleb had a right to know, this was the girl he loved after all, but I also wanted to respect Luce’s family’s privacy. So I decided to keep it to myself. For now, anyway.

  Dani drummed her hands against her knees. We were almost home, driving down my long driveway. “You’re not telling me something,” she muttered.

  “It’s going to work itself out naturally. I promise.” I didn’t want to give her more to worry about. “Just focus on getting those songs of Caleb’s set to music tonight.”

  “Okay, I will.”

  “Oh, fuck.” I slammed on the breaks.

  There was an extra car parked outside my house, and a woman dressed immaculately in black waiting on the porch steps.

  “Who is she?” Dani asked.

  “My mothe
r.” I shut the engine off where we were. “I have no idea why she’s here. I’ve told her repeatedly to never show up without calling first. She’ll either love you or hate you. That’s how she is with everyone. There’s never an in-between with her.”

  “Well, most people hate me.”

  “That’s not true. I don’t hate you at all, and I hate everyone.”

  “You didn’t like me on that first night.”

  “Yes, I did. I just wasn’t about to admit it to you or to myself. But I’ve been fucking crazy about you from the moment I let you into my room.” I squeezed her hand, hoping she felt my sincerity. Then I pushed open my door, stepping into the wind. If Mom had anything to say that would jeopardize my relationship with Dani, I’d probably never speak to her again. I barely tolerated her as it was. She’d neglected me as a child. As an adult, she wanted to be my friend. It just didn’t work that way.

  “John. Good to see you.” She took off her sunglasses, stepping toward us, looking like she could have been my older sister rather than my mother. She didn’t try to hug me this time, which meant she was learning.

  Dani left the car and joined me outside in the chilly air. She’d underdressed again today, so my concern was moving this conversation inside. Except, if we went inside that would be inviting Mom to stay. I didn’t know what to do.

  “Who’s this?” Mom asked.

  “My girlfriend, Dani. Dani—my mom.”

  They politely shook hands.

  I could practically see the wheels of judgement spinning in my mother’s head.

  “Girlfriend? First, I hear your sister is engaged. And now this? No one ever keeps me in the loop. That’s all I ask—a little news from time to time.”

  “Would you like me to IM you on Instagram?”

  “DM,” Dani muttered. “I think that’s what you mean.”

  I hated social media. Loathed it. I glanced at Dani. Oh God, I bet she had over a million followers on that shit. It made me cringe.

  “John,” my mother urged. “We need to talk privately. I don’t have time for your sarcasm. You know you can always text me on my private number. But I have family matters I came to discuss. I’m sorry Dani, but could you please give us a minute alone?”

  Dani took a step toward the house, probably happy for the excuse to get away. I lunged for her hand. I caught it and tugged her in close against my side. No fucking way did I want her to go. “Don’t fuck with me today, Mom, I’m in a mood.” I’d been in a fine mood thirty seconds prior to her appearance, but having her here instantly muddied everything. The only thing that could keep me sane right this second was Dani beside me. “What is it now?”

  “Well,” she started, and paused, eyeing Dani for a brief second but kept talking. “Since your grandfather’s death, your cousin Leo’s done a decent job running the company. But Leo’s young and that’s how the public sees him. If you’ve read the news lately, you’ll know a recent scandal with Doug surfaced. And now your name is getting some attention, too. It isn’t good for the brand. Don’t you think it’s time? Don’t you think you’ve rebelled long enough? Aren’t you ready to come home to New York and live out your legacy? You should be running Maddox Hotels together with Leo. It would look better if all the Maddox grandsons were united together. Maybe if you stepped up, Doug would follow too.”

  I stared at her with all the loathing in the world. Didn’t she see? I was content here with my life. And now, with Dani, happy even. “If Leo wants my help? Why isn’t he here himself?”

  “Probably because you intimidate him.”

  “He’s not afraid of me.” That was bullshit.

  My cousin didn’t want my help. But he had shifted money around after my grandfather’s death, when all the accounts changed over to his name. He wasn’t letting some members in our family just coast by living off others anymore. My mom wanted me to work, I realized, so she could continue living her extravagant lifestyle while I paid our side of the family’s dues by working with Leo.

  Hell-fucking-no.

  “Goodbye, Mom. It’s cold. Dani’s cold. I’m cold. We can speak more about this at Christmas. If I decide to come this year. But don’t count on it. And if Leo really needs me, it would be him on this doorstep and not you.” I didn’t stick around to hear her whine and bitch. Because I knew that was next. I pulled Dani in the direction of the front door, working fast to unlock it, slamming it shut behind us a second later.

  I leaned against the wood, breathing heavily, with my eyes on Dani’s eyes. She wasn’t saying anything. I wasn’t either. My body felt cold and it wasn’t warming. Because she knew now. She knew who I really was. John Maddox. One of the grandsons of the late Leo Maddox Senior. Heir to the Maddox Hotel industry, the biggest luxury hotel chain in the world.

  “The ink on my skin,” I whispered. “The dye in my hair. The life I live here. It’s just a facade.”

  Dani stepped closer. “That’s bullshit and you know it.”

  “Do you know Leo Maddox, my grandfather Leo... do you know who he was?”

  “Everyone knows the name. Yes. But I don’t give a fuck. You’re John Michaels to me.” She slowly, carefully, as if we hadn’t been naked together a hundred times over already, touched her hands to my chest. “Only John Michaels.”

  She wrapped her arms around me, pressing her body against mine, holding onto me like she was afraid if she let go, she might lose me. I held her too, closing my eyes, blocking out everything else in the world except her.

  ~ CHAPTER 38 ~

  DANI

  John’s heart raced. I felt it thudding like a drum as I held onto him for another moment. I’d never seen him like this. So pale. So quiet. So shaken. Like most people in America with a television, of course I’d heard of the Maddox family.

  But I didn’t care who he used to be. I only cared about who he was now. The sexy man in front of me, covered in his own artwork, whose love was beginning to feel like a drug. The pain his mom brought out in him—it pissed me off. It brought forth this protective rage in my blood I didn’t know I had.

  John didn’t like attention. He liked things simple. His life, his routine, his world here—I saw now how hard he must have worked for it all. He’d given up his family’s fortune to live his life his way. I admired the hell out of that. I admired his stubbornness. He’d called himself a fraud when I knew he wasn’t.

  He still seemed shaken. So I took a step back, tugging on his hand. I led him away from the door, down the hall, and into the kitchen. “Sit,” I instructed.

  He listened.

  I started looking for something I could fix him to eat. Okay, so admittedly, I knew nothing when it came to cooking. When the band was on the road, we had a chef. When I was home, I ordered takeout. I stared at the contents of his fridge, lost. “Fuck,” I whispered.

  John was always cooking for me. I wanted so badly to cook for him just this once. But I didn’t know where to start.

  I felt his body behind me, and I paused. His arms softly wrapped around my waist. His fingers trailed across my stomach. His lips touched my neck. His nearness felt so good, so welcome, but I wanted to be the one comforting him right now.

  “What are you doing?” he asked, breathing in against my skin. “Are you hungry?”

  His strange mood from minutes ago had dissipated some. I could hear it in his voice. I could feel it in his lips on my skin.

  “I want to cook something for you.” I hung on the open fridge door.

  “Why?”

  “Isn’t that what people do for each other? I could make you scrambled eggs.”

  He chuckled. “No.”

  “Or an omelet?”

  “No.”

  “Spaghetti?”

  “No. Dani—” He moved his hands higher, his fingers tracing so lightly over the top of my clothes. His touch sent shivers bursting through me. “I know you can’t cook.”

  “You don’t know that,” I argued, not letting him sway me with his touch. “I might be a phenomenal
cook—for all you know.”

  “We’ve been living together for a few weeks now and you’ve never made more than a bowl of cereal.”

  Well, now I felt kind of useless. “I could learn.”

  “I don’t want you to learn. Unless it’s something you’re interested in. I don’t need you to cook for me.” He squeezed his arms around me and lowered his voice. “I need you naked and in my bed each night. I need you in my space each day. I need this right here. Us.”

  “Your mom scared me a little,” I muttered, getting to the heart of what really had me freaking out.

  “Don’t let her intimidate you.”

  “She didn’t intimidate me. That wasn’t it. The sadness she brought out in you—that terrified me.” I breathed in and out, letting the fridge door close in front of us. “I didn’t like it. You called your whole life a facade. I’m part of your life here now. It’s not a facade. This is who you are.” My heart was pounding like mad. “You’re John Michaels. Don’t let her fucking under your skin and make you doubt that for even a second.”

  “Wow,” he muttered.

  Oh God. Did I say too much?

  “You’re like fire, you know that right?” he asked, his voice going raw. He nipped at my skin, his hands moving under my shirt now, his fingers working their way under my bra. He brushed his touch over my hardened nipples. “So fucking hot. You’re right. I’m never going back to New York. This is my home; it has been for years. I’m John Michaels. And one day, I am making you a Michaels, too.”

  What? Did he just say that?

  The craziest part—I loved hearing those words. He dropped his careful touch so he could flip me around. His lips slammed into mine. I couldn’t help it when I melted into him, closing my eyes, enjoying the feel of his warm mouth against mine. I thought we were two seconds away from sex on the kitchen floor, my body was sure screaming for it, but he slowed, brushing my hair from my face. “I love you,” he said as he broke contact with my lips. “I love you, Dani. Fuck New York. You know what, fuck North Carolina even. You’re my world now. Just you.”