Lift Me Higher

by Kim Shaw

  “All right, Miss Know-It-All, how do you account for the fact that you absolutely loved Kevin at first?”

  “Now that’s an overstatement. I didn’t love Kevin. I said he was gorgeous. I also distinctly remember warning you about dating basketball players. But see, you never want to learn from my mistakes. No matter how many times I trip and fall, you will go right down the same path. You’ve got to get out there and bump that big pumpkin of yours yourself before you believe me.”

  “That’s not the way it is. Just because the path is the same it does not mean the journey’s going to be the same.”

  “Save that new-age nonsense for somebody else, chica. Who was the one who told you that it wasn’t a good idea for you to go to Spain with Kevin?”

  “That would be you, O Wise One,” Torie said, lowering her head and arms at the same time to feign as though she were bowing down to Lisette.

  “And who was it who flew all the way to Spain, dried your tears and then went with you to kick in the door of that chick’s apartment to catch that lying cheat playing naked Twister game?”

  “You, O All-knowing Goddess.”

  “All right, then. And you still owe me for the boot I ruined on that thick-assed door,” Lisette reminded.

  “Oh, would you let that go already!” Torie exclaimed.

  “Seriously, though, Torie, I’ve really got a good feeling about Monte. He seems like a genuinely decent guy. And the way he looks at you…whoo-wee! He’s got it bad for you, mi amor.”

  Torie held her tongue, not wanting to let slip the fact that she, too, had it bad for him. Monte had gotten under her skin in a way that both exhilarated and frightened her. She suspected that Lisette already knew that, but Torie felt that as long as she didn’t give words to her feelings, perhaps she could ignore the depth of them. Ever since the scare they’d had with his mother and the night Torie had spent with him in his home, she’d found it more and more difficult to keep her emotions in check. When Monte casually mentioned wanting to take the boys away over the winter holidays, perhaps skiing in Colorado or on a cruise or to someplace warm, he’d slipped in a comment about hoping that her acting schedule would allow her to travel with them. Torie’s response had been an enthusiastic and meaningful, “I hope so, too.”

  It wasn’t that her reservations had disappeared. Indeed, they had intensified. As a result, Torie was at war with herself, feeling her emotions deepening from attraction, to a strong like, to what they were now—love.

  Monte and Jean Paul entered the entertainment room, one carrying a tray of coffee, creamer and sweeteners and the other carrying slices of the caramel cheesecake Torie had baked the night before.

  “Miss Celebrity, I can’t believe you baked this cheesecake yourself. It is delicious,” Jean Paul said setting his tray down.

  “I told you my baby can burn.” Monte beamed.

  “Why, thank you…both of you. Wait a minute, Jean Paul, just how do you know my cake is good already?” Torie teased.

  “Because he was picking at it the entire time we were making the coffee,” Monte ratted.

  The group laughed as they settled in for dessert and conversation. Jean Paul put a Carlos Santana CD in the player, providing the perfect background tunes to complement the evening. They joked and talked well into the night, an easy mood guiding their dialogue. By the end of the evening, though not surprised, Torie was pleasantly comforted by how well Monte had gotten along with two of the most important people in her life. As they said their goodbyes at the door, Torie could not help but acknowledge to herself that if things didn’t work with Monte, the chances that she’d ever find another man of whom Lisette approved were slim to none.

  Chapter 13

  Shadow of Doubt

  “Darius, would you please tell your mother to lay off.” Torie groaned.

  “How come whenever she gets into one of her moods, she’s got to be my mother? Shoot, she wears me down just as much as she does you.” Darius laughed.

  “All right now, you two, don’t forget I’m still your mother. Neither one of you are too old for a strapping,” Brenda said.

  The trio, seated in Brenda Turner’s living room in Atlanta, exchanged looks before both Torie and Darius cracked up hysterically. The stern countenance Brenda wore did not assuage their laughter and, eventually, Brenda could not help but chuckle herself. Torie was glad to see a smile on her mother’s face because, since she’d arrived in Atlanta the night before, all she’d seen was Brenda’s perpetual frown. Torie had flown down to spend the weekend with her mother in celebration of Brenda’s birthday, yet Brenda’s pessimism was quickly dampening the celebratory mood.

  “Mama, you really just need to relax and trust us. Your kids are grown, you did a great job raising us and now you need to have faith that we know what we’re doing in our lives,” Torie said.

  “She’s right, Mama. Stop spending your time worrying about us and enjoy your life,” Darius chimed.

  “I can’t help but to worry about you two because you don’t always make the best decisions. I mean, now, Torie, you’ve landed your show finally and I couldn’t be happier. I think you’re going to do just great on it and your career is finally going to take off,” Brenda said.

  “‘Finally,’ she said,” Torie echoed in Darius’s direction.

  “Finally.” He smiled.

  “Let me finish. I’m just trying to say that all your hard work has not gone unnoticed and I’m just happy to see that you’re finally…” Brenda trailed off, catching herself. “You’re getting your break at last.”

  “But?” Torie asked.

  “But…I thought we agreed that you needed to take some time to yourself. You said you weren’t going to date for at least a year and, honey, after that whole thing with Kev—”

  “Mama,” Torie warned.

  “Well, something’s got you beaming a hundred watts.”

  “I’m just happy about life, Mama. I’m happy to be alive…happy you’re alive. We’re celebrating another birthday together. What’s not to smile about,” Torie had replied.

  Brenda kept at it until finally she hit the nail right on the head the next day.

  “Now, Torie girl, I want you to tell me what on earth are you so smiley-faced about, and I mean to know right now!” she’d demanded.

  Torie put on the most stern face she could muster, hoping that a show of toughness would force Brenda to back down.

  “Mama, can we please not do this again?”

  Brenda returned Torie’s stony gaze with one of her own. Suddenly, recognition flooded her eyes.

  “You’ve fallen in love with somebody, haven’t you?” Brenda wanted to know.

  “In love? No, no way. Okay, Mama, here’s the thing. I’ve met someone and he’s a really, really great man. We’ve been dating for a few weeks and I like him. I’m in like, Mama. Strong like, but not love, nowhere near it. We’re taking things nice and slow,” Torie answered.

  “Oh, Torie, we agreed—”

  “Mama, I know what I’m doing so please just let it be,” Torie pleaded.

  “Uh-uh…I’m sorry, but this needs to be said. You are still vulnerable and I’m sure this person could see that a mile away.”

  “Mama, Monte’s not like that.”

  Torie felt herself growing angry and she fought to remain cool. She’d toyed with the idea of not even telling her mother about Monte, but from the moment she’d walked through the front door the evening before, her mother had been hounding her. It seemed that Brenda’s powers of perception had not dulled with another year of life.

  From that point on Brenda had peppered her with a million and one questions, and it was a mentally exhausted Torie who finally called the inquisition to a halt.

  “Mama, enough. I didn’t come down here with the intention of telling you about Monte, but now that you know, please just let me enjoy it. I don’t know where this thing is headed and, frankly, I don’t care right now. I just want to keep feeling what I’m feeling, keep
on working and just taking pleasure from my life, however it comes.”

  Like an alligator with its chops around an unsuspecting mammal, Brenda pursued the conversation. In an effort to rescue Torie and her love life out of the line of fire, Darius chimed in and dropped some news of his own.

  “Guess what, Mama? Sheila’s pregnant again.”

  “What? Boy, don’t play with me. How are you just going to burst out with something like that?”

  “Well, we weren’t planning on telling anyone until she got through the first trimester. The last miscarriage was really hard on her, but…I just couldn’t hold on to the news anymore.”

  “Oh, my goodness. Praise God. How far along is she?” Brenda asked.

  “She just hit ten weeks and everything is looking good. She’s been having a little morning sickness—not much, though—and she’s been very tired, but other than that—”

  “Well, praise God,” Brenda said. “See now, I knew something was going on when you said she wasn’t coming out with us tonight. Well, that’s all right.”

  She wrapped her arms around Darius’s neck, and he threw Torie a quick smile over his mother’s shoulder. Torie mouthed a solemn thank-you in return.

  “You tell her I said to take it easy. Don’t try to do too much. These young women nowadays think they can just rip and run while they’re carrying a child. Just because women have been having babies for centuries doesn’t mean that it’s not hard work. You tell her I said to stay off her feet as much as possible. I’m going to cook up some dinners for you two and you come by and get them. Keep the freezer full so she don’t have to worry about cooking and stuff every night, you hear?”

  “Yeah, Mama. Thanks. Now you’ve got to promise not to say anything for another few weeks. I’ll let you know when it’s okay.”

  “All right, all right. I won’t say a word,” Brenda promised.

  Darius looked at her doubtfully, but didn’t speak on it. “Look, you two, you’d better start getting dressed if we’re going to have time for dinner before the concert.”

  “Ooh, yes, you’re right. I’m going to take my shower right now. Torie, are your clothes pressed?”

  “Yes, Mama. Go on into the bathroom. Don’t worry about me,” Torie said. To Darius she said, “Congratulations, baby brother. Make sure you give Sheila my love.”

  For the remainder of her visit, Brenda was slightly preoccupied with prayers and plans for her first grandbaby, thus keeping at bay her voice of dissent about Torie’s relationship with Monte. While grateful for the reprieve that Darius and Sheila’s good news gave her, Torie knew that it would just be a matter of time before her mother zeroed in on her again. Yet, even the thought of having to address her mother’s negativity could not burst the cloud of joy being with Monte had her riding on.

  Chapter 14

  Trouble in Paradise

  “Torie, Torie Turner, over here.”

  Torie turned away from Monte in response to the voice calling her name. It was Martin Hunt, one of her costars from Higher Learning. He was waving at her from his position near the buffet table. He was standing with another of their costars, Lana Anderson, as well as two men whom Torie did not know.

  “Do you mind, sweetheart?” she asked Monte.

  “Not at all. This is your night, babe,” he responded.

  He picked up their drinks from the bar where they’d been standing and followed Torie across the room.

  “Hey, Miss Costar. There’s a couple of guys over here dying to meet you. They’ve been going on and on about that gorgeous Torie Turner. Now, I told them that they were exaggerating just a little bit. But I figured I’d introduce them to you, anyway,” Martin joked.

  Torie made a fist and drove it slowly into Martin’s bicep.

  “Beautiful and a bruiser…my kind of woman,” the taller, olive-complexioned man said.

  “Torie Turner, Alex Dibiasi and Boris Carson. These gentlemen are the directors of the award-winning independent film, Canary Blown,” Martin said.

  “Yes, gentlemen, nice to meet you. Excellent film. I cried like a baby,” Torie said, shaking each man’s hand in turn. “I’d like you all to meet Monte Lewis, attorney-at-law. Monte, Alex, Boris, Martin and Lana.”

  “Hey, man. Ouch, Tor, you travel with your attorney at your side? Talk about being a shrewd negotiator,” Martin joked.

  Monte did not miss the look in Martin’s eyes as he spoke. He knew the signs of being sized up by another man. He also did not miss the look in Martin’s eyes when he looked at Torie, or the familiar tone of voice he used when speaking to her. Monte was not an insecure man, nor was he a man who felt the need to measure himself against other men. He was confident in who he was and, more importantly, he was confident in his relationship with Torie. However, like a warrior lion in the age-old game of mating, he knew that sometimes he might be forced to mark his territory. That way, there would be no confusion on anyone’s part. He moved closer to Torie.

  “Here, babe,” Monte said, handing Torie a glass of Grand Marnier cognac.

  He looked meaningfully at Martin while taking a long sip from his own glass.

  “Thank you. Martin, behave yourself tonight,” Torie said. “Gentlemen, it was a pleasure meeting you. I’d like to introduce Monte to a few more people. Excuse us.”

  As the pair walked away, Monte placed one hand at the small of Torie’s back. He did not bother to look behind him because his point had been made, loud and clear.

  The party was one of those affairs to which, as an entertainment lawyer, Monte had had his share of invitations but, over his career, he had often avoided attending. It was an industry gathering, full of television, movie and music folks. He knew many of the people gathered there and could count on one hand the individuals with whom he’d have the stomach to share more than a passing pleasantry. He had never been attracted to the so-called beautiful people of the world and, despite the fact that he had chosen entertainment law as a career path, he was not interested in becoming what he liked to call celebrity seekers—people who hung on, attending every industry event, wanting to be seen and rub elbows with the rich, famous and glamorous. He’d come to this party solely because Torie had invited him to be her escort for the evening. He’d have had breakfast with the devil if Torie had invited him, so surely, he reasoned, he can make it through one little party.

  At one point in the evening, Monte felt an overwhelming urge to hold Torie in his arms. He whispered in her ear, took her hand and led her to the dance floor. An old Smokey Robinson tune was playing. He folded Torie in his arms and she leaned against him. They moved together as if they had been dance partners for years, having already grown accustomed to the feel and rhythm of each other.

  “If I asked you to slip out of here with me right now, take me back to your place and take advantage of me, what would you say?” Monte said, staring into Torie’s eyes.

  “I would say that while nothing would give me more pleasure, you know that I can’t leave just yet.”

  Monte pouted.

  “Oh, stop that. You look just like Josiah.”

  “Speaking of whom, the boys want to know when you’re coming over again. Joshua’s been rehearsing for a school play he’s in and he wants you to read lines with him. He says I keep missing my cues. And I think Josiah’s got a crush on you.” Monte laughed.

  “Aww, Monte, I don’t know when I’m going to get some free time. With rehearsals and tapings six days a week, running until very late in the evening sometimes, and then me needing to be at the studio early every day, it’s a little hectic right now.”

  “So what? You can come out in the evening, sleep over and I can drive you back in the morning,” Monte said. “Or you can come out when you wrap at the studio on Saturday night. You’re off on Sundays. That way, we can spend the whole day together.”

  Torie did not respond right away. She chewed the inside of her bottom lip, feeling once again the conflict within her brewing. No matter how many times she told hersel
f to slow things down, she found her heart moving full speed ahead. Yet it was getting increasingly more difficult to navigate in this sea of emotions, and she knew that it was no longer just a matter of hers and Monte’s feelings. Now his sons were involved and, while an adult could be expected to understand emotional hang-ups and reservations, children could not. The last thing she wanted to do was hurt Monte’s children.

  “Let’s figure this out later,” Torie said.

  She avoided looking Monte in the eye and, from that and the tone of her voice, Monte knew that something was amiss. He let the subject die for the time being, but he knew that it was something they would need to get to the bottom of sooner rather than later. They continued to dance for the next two songs in silence, each of them feeling a sudden invisible barrier forming between them. Finally, Torie excused herself to use the restroom and Monte headed to the bar for a refill. While he stood there, waiting for the bartender to prepare his drink, he was so lost in his own thoughts that he didn’t notice Martin’s approach until the man was standing at his side.

  “So, Monte, was it? Having a good time?” he asked.

  “Hey, Martin. Yes, thanks for asking,” Monte said, turning to face the man.

  “Don’t tell me Torie abandoned you? She’s always on the move. I tell you, you should see her on set. The rest of us have to drink at least two cans of Red Bull energy drink in order to keep up with her,” Martin said.

  “Really? That’s interesting,” Monte replied.

  He was really not in the mood for the little game Martin was trying to play with him. He was irritated by his unfinished conversation with Torie, distracted, and the last thing he wanted to do was spar with this two-bit, Sidney Poitier wannabe.

  “Yeah, she’s something else. I really admire how hard she works. But I keep telling her that all work and no play…well, you know what I mean.”

  “You’re right about that. That’s why we make sure to carve out time to relax and enjoy ourselves. It keeps us young and healthy,” Monte said.