by Kim Shaw
The telephone rang. They ignored it.
“Tell me that I hurt you,” Monte continued over the wailing telephone. “Tell me…tell me that you’re going to make me pay for this by making you breakfast in bed for the next twenty years.”
Torie glared at Monte.
“Baby, just don’t tell me that it’s too late. I can’t believe that. You can’t possibly care about Martin.”
“Monte, this has absolutely nothing to do with Martin. Martin is…Martin has been a good friend to me.”
“Yeah, I’ll bet. He looked real friendly up in here,” Monte said wryly.
“Monte, stop. He wasn’t wearing a shirt because I’d just finished coloring his hair for him. That’s it.”
Monte closed his mouth, watching Torie walk away from him. She moved to the sofa in slow motion and sat down as if she had the weight of the world on her shoulders. The telephone rang again, but neither of them even looked toward it. Monte had a strong guess as to who was calling, but he swallowed the flash of anger that rose in him. She had said that this was not about Martin, and he had no intention of making it about him.
Monte stood awkwardly for some time, listening to the silence of the room compete with the rapid beating of his heart against his chest. Since she had not thrown him out yet, he took that as a sign that at least she didn’t hate him. He moved cautiously to the sofa, sitting beside her. He was close, but did not touch her. Monte waited and prayed.
“Monte,” Torie began in a low voice. “What has changed?” she asked.
Monte was stumped for a moment. He studied her face, trying to formulate an articulate answer to her question. He opened his mouth to speak, but closed it almost immediately. He looked down at his hands, up at the ceiling. He racked his brain for something clever and hard-hitting to say to her. He tried to pull from his skills as an attorney and an orator, but came up blank. When he looked at Torie, all thoughts escaped his mind. He reached out tentatively, putting two fingers on the delicate skin beneath her chin, and raised her face toward his. Their eyes met, and as Monte looked into the beautiful hazel eyes that had magnetized him from the first moment he’d gazed into them, his heart found the words that his mind could not articulate.
“I’ve changed, Torie. I’m not the same man you met on that elevator so many months ago. I’m not that man who believed that he didn’t need anyone in his life…who thought that he could live alone and be all right. I thought that I could control my life, control this relationship. I was wrong, Torie, and I’m not afraid to admit that now. I’m not afraid to say that when I met you, I was still holding on to a past life that had me locked into grief and despair. I had shined and polished myself up on the outside, but on the inside I was broken.”
Tears spilled from Monte’s eyes and from Torie’s at almost the same moment. Monte used his thumb to swipe at the water on Torie’s cheek.
“Over these past few weeks I’ve been praying for clarity and strength. And, Torie, I can see now. I can see how even though life doesn’t work out the way we plan, it works out the way God plans. God has given me permission to let go of the past…let go of the doubts.”
“Let go of the fear,” Torie said softly.
“Yes, and the hurt feelings and the pain. I don’t care how complicated this is, and I don’t care how long it takes to uncomplicate it. I love you, Torie. My boys love you. I want to spend the rest of my life loving you, taking care of you and supporting your dreams. Please tell me we can do this, Torie. Please give yourself permission to have it all.”
The thought of stepping out on faith and taking a chance frightened Torie more than anything she’d ever felt before. Her natural instinct to protect her heart, after all of the pain and stormy seas she’d experienced, was strong. Yet, one look into the eyes of the man who had touched her soul and Torie’s defenses were shattered. At that moment, she didn’t care about the distance or her career. Monte was truly the love of her life, all men before him having been mere preparation, and Torie realized that living without him would render everything else meaningless.
Their kiss—the pressing of two pairs of lips together, wet faces touching, tears mingling—was the equivalent of the joining of two dynamic forces of nature. Their love was indeed a power to be reckoned with and, together again, they knew that they would allow nothing to tear them apart.
Chapter 30
New Beginnings
Reunited, and it feels so good. Monte sang the lyrics to the old Peaches and Herb classic over and over in his head. Reunited, rejuvenated and rededicated, Monte and Torie set about the task of really testing the waters of a long-distance relationship this time. Unlike their last attempt, they made no promises or demands, other than to take baby steps in the process of planning their lives together. Monte stayed in California for several days, conducting business via e-mail and telephone while Torie worked onset. For the first day or so, they agreed to just enjoy the moment, acquiescing to the spirit of love that told them that they had the right to feel that love and to share it with each other.
“Have I told you that you look absolutely amazing?” Monte said when Torie emerged dressed for the day from the bathroom the morning following his arrival.
They’d spent the night on the sofa, falling asleep after hours of talking. Despite the awkward physical positions of their bodies, they shared the most peaceful night of sleep that either had had in a long time.
Torie spun around in response to Monte’s compliment, showing off the colorful wrap dress she wore that hugged her in all the right places. Her hair was pulled back from her face in a braid and her skin was aglow.
“You’ve tanned,” he noticed.
“Yeah, like I need more color. This Californian sun is a beast. You should see me slapping on sunblock like it’s lotion.”
Monte moved closer to her, tentatively pulling her into his arms for a kiss. He felt slightly timid, unsure of how slowly or how quickly he should move. Yet, he couldn’t get enough of her lips. He pressed his nose against her hair, sucking in the almond scent. He’d missed her more than even he had fully understood.
“Come on, let’s get out of here,” Torie said suddenly. “Let me show you around my little town before I go to work. Are you hungry?”
“I could eat a little something.” Monte smiled, following her closely, his eyes trained on the sensual sway of her body.
They chatted ceaselessly, Torie asking a million questions about the boys, and Monte peppering her with questions about the show. They stopped a block away from Torie’s apartment building in front of her candy-apple-red Camaro sportscar.
“Like her?” she asked.
“Very Californian. I bet you look hot as hell in it,” Monte said. “I bet you’ve got brothers crashing their cars and running red lights with you on the road,” he joked.
“You know it!” Torie laughed.
By the third night of their reunion, neither one of them could resist the sexual tension that teased them. They gave in to that tension, making love with insurmountable passion and energy. Their lovemaking came from deep within their souls. They pleased each other through the night, making up for lost time with a fervor that could not be tamed.
The morning sun greeted them, peeking through the sheer curtains like a voyeur. Torie squeezed her eyes shut as she rode Monte to a climax that rivaled the dozen others she’d had over the course of the night. They’d made love more times than either could count, sleeping just enough in between to rejuvenate their bodies. Even in their slumber they remained conscious of each other’s bodies, and each time the flames of desire flared up in one of them, the other was ready, willing and able to extinguish it.
“Good morning,” Torie said as she collapsed against Monte’s chest.
“Is it morning?” Monte answered.
“Mmm-hmm and a good one at that. Look at that beautiful sun rising out there.”
“I can’t see a damn thing. I think you’ve loved me blind, girl.”
“Humph,”
Torie said, giving Monte’s chin a firm suckling. “That’s okay, it’s not your eyes I’m interested in, anyway.”
Monte closed his eyes as Torie got up and staggered to the bathroom. She moved like an exhausted runner after a marathon. Monte dozed off and on as the sound of the shower running escaped from the bathroom. It was nature’s call that aroused him and sent him stumbling into the bathroom after her.
“Baby?” he called as he entered. “I’ve gotta go.”
“Okay, just don’t flush.”
While Monte relieved himself, he studied Torie’s shapely body through the frosted glass of the shower cabinet.
“Baby?” he called.
“Hmm?” she answered.
“Is there room for me in there?” he asked shyly.
Torie didn’t respond, but merely pushed the door open and stepped back. The water hit the back of her neck and shoulders, spilling down the front of her body. Monte stepped inside, shutting the door behind him. Suddenly recharged, his member stood at attention, saluting the vision that stood before him. Without another word, he dropped to his knees, placed both hands on Torie’s hips and moved her against the wall. When the tip of his tongue entered her sugar walls, he felt her melt all around him. He stirred her like a cup of coffee and, beneath the steady rain of water, she sang a symphony.
Later, as they lay wrapped around each other, Monte knew that after touching and tasting her again, leaving her would be one of the hardest things he’d ever had to do. He pushed those thoughts violently out of his head, wanting instead to savor the time he had with her. Tomorrow would come and be dealt with. Today, all he wanted was to bury himself inside her love and forget that there was a world outside.
In the wee hours of their final night together, body and soul spent, Monte could not sleep. This time, however, it was the overwhelming peace he felt that kept him awake, instead of fear and heartache. As he watched Torie sleep, wrapped in a blanket of tranquility, he prayed again. In tonight’s prayer, he thanked God for sending him a second magnificent woman to be his strength and his rock. Beside her unwavering love, Shawna had given him the greatest gift a woman could give in his two boys. Now, God had seen fit to open a new chapter in his life and had told him it was okay to love again. Monte felt that he was the luckiest man alive, despite all of the rocky road behind him and whatever lay ahead.
Parting was surprisingly easy for Monte and Torie, perhaps because they realized that this time they were on solid ground. The night before Monte left, they sat down in what they’d decided would be a weekly checking-in session in which they would each have an opportunity to put everything out in the open.
“You don’t have to tell me any more than you feel comfortable telling me,” Monte said.
“I know. I just want you to understand that I really never felt more than friendship toward Martin. I know you never liked him—” Torie said.
“It wasn’t really personal, baby. I just knew that he had a thing for you. It was as clear as day.”
“Well, that may be true, but he has also been a really good friend to me. He helped me get settled out here—he held my hand and kept my spirits up when I was hurting.”
Monte was silent, checking the jealousy that surfaced.
“I’m sorry that you had to feel that kind of pain,” he said finally.
Monte’s heart flooded with relief, because even though he’d told himself that whatever went down between Torie and Martin didn’t matter to him, his male ego needed to know that she was still tied to him on the most basic, natural level. He pulled Torie into his arms, burying his face in the softness of her hair.
“I love you,” he whispered.
By the time Torie drove Monte to the airport, they had agreed to remain open and honest about their fears and concerns as they traveled into the next phase of their lives together. Torie couldn’t wait until the season wrapped so she could fly back to New York and spend time with the boys, who she missed tremendously. She didn’t realize at that moment, but by the time shooting for the first season of the show was over, Torie was fully prepared to call it quits and relocate to New York permanently. She’d grasped the understanding that her career ambitions did not have to be sacrificed to have her personal dreams realized. Perhaps a simple tweaking would make it all work out.
Torie figured that her mother would be upset and disappointed, but she also knew that she wanted to be with Monte and his boys full-time a whole lot more than she wanted Hollywood fame. She decided that even if it meant that her career would not rise to the level she’d always imagined, wherever she landed would be all right as long as she was in the arms of the man she loved.
For his part, Monte was overjoyed that she was willing to give up her dreams for him. However, he was also disheartened at the thought that she would do that. He knew that while she might never feel a moment of regret for that decision, he would. Monte was not willing to let go of the vision of walking her down the red carpet to the Academy Awards show one day, of watching her shine as a noteworthy, celebrated artist. So he quietly set about the task of securing all of their dreams.
Chapter 31
Permission Granted
One month later, Monte boarded the United Airlines flight with a cacophony of emotions running through him. He’d sat Josiah and Joshua down before leaving, deciding to spell things out for his sons as best as he could. They were young, he knew, but in their short lives they had already gone through more loss than some adults ever have to know. He knew that they needed his honesty. They needed him to give them as much assurance as he could so that, no matter what happened, they could always count on the fact that they were loved. Josiah, the youngest and, Monte was coming to learn, the more sensitive of his two sons, wanted to know if their mother and grandmother still loved them, even though they weren’t active in their lives.
“Of course, they do. You can’t stop the kind of love mommies and grandmas have,” Monte told them.
“I know,” Josiah said. “I just wanted to make sure you knew.”
The wisdom of his children renewed Monte’s sense of purpose. He told the boys that he was going to California again to tell Torie face-to-face that, because the three of them love her so much, they want her to be a part of their family forever. Both Josiah’s and Joshua’s faces lit up at this revelation, much as Monte had suspected. Torie had left as indelible a mark on them as she had on him.
“So, Daddy, are you going to get Torie to move back here and move in with us?” Joshua asked practically, wanting particulars.
“Well, why don’t you just hold on and let Daddy work out all of the details. Your pops is putting together a plan that’s going to make us all very happy. Trust me.”
Once in the air, Monte was surprised by the lack of nervousness he felt. It was as if he knew deep inside that everything was going to work out just the way it was supposed to. He had faith in his love for Torie and in hers for his. All he needed to do was to show her how willing he was to move mountains to make all of their dreams come true. She’d stepped out on faith and let him back in and now it was time for him to make good on the promises he’d made to her. There was no way he was going to let her give up her career aspirations for them to be together.
Monte was busy from the moment the wheels of his plane touched ground. He’d arranged to have a car service pick him up from Bob Hope Airport and take him directly out to Bel Air. Paul Socci, of Socci Real Estate Services, a real-estate agent whose name he’d gotten from a client who lived in California, met him at the site. The property was three acres of land set at the end of a gated, winding private road. He walked around a bit, examining the various trees and hedges that lined the property. He walked in different directions, visualizing the space from as many vantage points as he could. From every direction, it was a beautiful site to behold.
Monte inhaled deeply, a soothing warmth and serenity in the air that answered the unspoken question in his mind. Could he make this place a home for his family? The answer th
at shouted back to him in the open air was a resounding yes. Joshua and Josiah would love being able to run around in the expanse. He’d have an in-ground swimming pool put in and, who knew, maybe one or both of his boys would become Olympic swimmers. He’d build a small jungle gym and install a swing set so that, when he and Torie decided to have a child together, there would be a place for that child to exercise and run wild. There was more than enough room for all that Monte had in mind, and as he placed his signature on the contracts the agent laid on the hood of his car, he calculated his next move with assurance.
“Hello?” Torie answered breathlessly.
It was just after eight o’clock in the morning and she’d returned to her apartment from her run to the sound of a ringing telephone. For the past few days, she’d been packing up the apartment and making plans to go back to New York. It was with great difficulty that she’d tucked the contract extension she’d received from the network into one of her suitcases without signing it. She’d decided that once she returned to New York, she’d let Monica take care of informing the show of her departure formally, but would speak to the directors, producers and her costars before she left California the following week. It was a bittersweet feeling, but she refused to let herself dwell on that fact. Part of her resolve and optimism had come from an unlikely source and she was still reeling from that fact.
When Torie had called her mother to inform her of the decision she’d made, she was fully prepared to meet resistance and downright disagreement from Brenda. But Torie was also fully prepared to dig in her heels and express to her mother, in no uncertain terms, that not only was she a grown woman, capable of making this decision and all others without her mother’s input, she was also very positive that what she was doing in this instance was the right thing.
“You know something, Torie,” Brenda began as Torie finished laying out her carefully prepared speech. “I owe you an apology.”