by Ronica Black
“See Madison?” Juan asked, pointing.
“Oh, yes.” She’d found her right away and homed in on her glistening body and well-etched muscles. “Oh, yes,” she whispered, remembering what they felt like beneath her fingertips.
Juan put his arm around her and squeezed. “You really like her, don’t you?”
“‘Like’ is not the right word,” she said softly.
“More than that?”
She nodded. “So much more.”
“Then what’s stopping you?”
She turned to face the boys again. The burpees continued and Jake looked spent, his arm dangling. But to her surprise, he kept on.
“I suppose you know everything?” she asked, knowing Madison had probably told Rob, who’d probably told him.
“I know you won’t talk to her.”
“I just did.”
“Well, why not before then? Didn’t you two hit it off?”
“We did, yes.”
“So—”
“I don’t know what’s wrong,” she said, growing upset. “I can’t answer that.”
He squeezed her again. “Okay,” he said. “Just know I’m here if you need me.”
“Thanks.”
“Sure thing. Want to learn a thing or two about rugby?”
She wiped away a tear and turned, needing to see her again. “Yes, but only if I can watch Madison.”
Chapter Eighteen
“I ain’t gotta tell you to be careful,” Marv said as they bathed one of their ponies.
“No, sir, you don’t. Although actually you already have,” Madison said.
“I’m just saying.” He winked and laughed at himself. “Isn’t that what the boys say?”
“Yes.” She chuckled herself. “But please don’t start saying ‘epic’ again or I’ll have to kill you.”
“Deal. Anyway.” He began rinsing the soap from the pony, starting at her legs so she could get used to the temperature and the feel of the water. “Be careful there, Maddy, with that woman. She’s just like the other two. All caught up in her career.”
“Marv, really, I don’t need to hear this.”
“Well, now, yes, you do. I can see you moping around here day after damn day just because she won’t talk to you. And, well, it’s starting to piss me off. Who cares if she won’t get out of her fancy car? It’s her loss.”
“Marv—”
“Honestly, you’re better off. You were happier alone before she came along. Why are you so darned attracted to those types, Maddy?”
“First of all, she’s not like the others. She’s different.”
“How?”
“Because she cares.”
“About what?”
“Jake, the animals…”
“Her career. Hell, all that boy ever says is how much she works.”
Madison almost cringed and looked around to make sure no one could hear, but it was Sunday and they were alone on the ranch.
“I just don’t think she has that figured out yet.”
“You’re making excuses for her. Damn it, Maddy you’re going to get hurt. Worse than you already have. You think I don’t hear that loud music early in the morning? I know you’re passed out on the couch, drinking her away.”
She tossed a scraper to him rather hard. “Marv, don’t.”
“Just let her go.”
“I can’t.”
“Why not?”
“Because I care about her and I care about Jake.”
They began scraping the water off the pony. “What happens when Jake’s gone?”
“I don’t know.”
“I’ll tell you what. She leaves, he leaves, and you never see either one of them again.”
“Maybe.”
“And you’ll be worse than you are now.”
She kept scraping and then retrieved the mane and tail brushes. She didn’t want to talk about this with him or with anyone, for that matter. Rob had already tried. She simply had nothing to say. Grace had her issues, and for whatever reason she wanted nothing to do with Madison. That fact was clear.
But it didn’t mean she could just switch off her desire or feelings.
“I think I’ve been doing pretty good,” she said aloud.
“No, you haven’t.”
She scoffed. Just because she was listening to her music and drinking her wine all night long didn’t mean anything. She still did her job; she still helped Jake and the boys. Everything was fine. On the outside. And the rest nobody needed to know about.
“Can we change the subject?” she asked.
“Sure. Gladly.” He grabbed a finishing brush and got to work on brushing the pony’s face with the soft bristles.
“I need to ride out and check on the trail for the ride this coming weekend. You been out there lately?”
“Not in a while.”
“I hope all is still well. Bobby said he thought there might be some coyote problems.”
“Well, we’ll have to go out every day, then, till they get chased off, I guess.”
Every few months, depending upon the group and how well they did, Madison and Marv took the boys and their guardians on a trail ride out toward the mountain. She’d had picnic tables and shade built in years ago for such events, and the boys loved cooking out and tossing the rugby ball around.
This weekend promised to be a good one, and she couldn’t be prouder of this group of boys. Tomorrow, they started riding individually to practice for the trail. Come Saturday, they’d be old pros and would love showing their guardians all there was to know about horses and riding. It helped to build confidence and pride when they got to teach. It instilled in them all the learning they’d done. It was a win-win situation, and she was very much looking forward to it.
“How about now?” Marv asked, finishing with the pony. They untied her and led her to her stall. “We could take those two fillies out and check the trail.”
“Can’t,” she said, giving the pony one last rubdown.
“Got plans?”
“Actually, yes. I’ve got somewhere I need to be.”
“Do I want to know where?”
“Probably not.”
“Damn it, I was afraid you were gonna say that.”
*
An hour later, Madison pulled up to the amusement park and wove her way inside. The giant castle building was chock full of video games. Three stories held every game imaginable, and Madison could easily see why Jake had been so excited about coming. He’d invited her a few days ago and she’d put him off as best she could, unsure if she should accept. But he’d really insisted, and finally he’d let on that Grace wanted her to come too.
That had been enough to get Madison there, and it probably wouldn’t take much to keep her there either. Grace’s smiling face would be plenty of pay-off, despite the strong crowd of young teens weaving through game machines, laughing and shouting.
“This place is unreal,” she said, taking in the open three-story structure.
“Yeah, and outside they have go-karts and roller coasters,” Jake said, hopping up to her. “Come on!” He took her hand and shoved through the huge double doors to the outside. The warm air mingled with her skin, and the smell of soda pop and all things sticky entered her nose just before the smell of go-kart exhaust did.
“Where’s your aunt?”
“She’s around.”
“Around?”
“Yeah, come on. Let’s do the go-karts.”
“Jake—I—”
“Jake?”
They turned and found Grace staring at them in disbelief.
“Hi,” Madison said, feeling her discomfort.
“Uh, hi,” Grace said. “Jake, what’s going on?”
“Nothing. I just thought Madison might want to come too. She said she did,” Jake said.
Madison heated. “You didn’t know I was coming?”
“No.” Grace shifted and gripped her soda cup harder.
“I’m sorry. I should go.
”
“No, no. Stay, please,” Grace said. But her face showed her letdown. She wasn’t happy to see Madison, not happy at all.
“I should really go,” Madison said again, face heating in embarrassment.
Grace seemed to ignore her. “Jake, apologize to her.”
“What for?” The pinched look was back, the one just like Grace wore, and he shoved his hands into the pockets of his plaid skate shorts.
“For asking her to come,” Grace said.
“So what if I did. I like her.”
“That doesn’t matter, Jake. You didn’t tell me about it.”
“So what? You would’ve said no. You say no to everything,” Jake said, his voice showing his growing anger.
“I do not,” Grace whispered.
“You do too.”
“I just thought tonight was supposed to be for you and me. You know, to spend some time together.”
“You’ve been on the phone since before we got here,” he said.
Madison placed a hand on Jake’s shoulder. “I’ll see you tomorrow,” she said softly.
“No, don’t you go,” Grace said to her. “I’ll go.” She started to walk away. “Bring him home at a decent time.”
Madison took off after her, caught her by the elbow, and walked with her inside.
“You can’t leave,” Madison said. “Grace, please.”
“Don’t tell me what to do, Madison. You’re the one who wanted me to spend some quality time with him. Well, I tried! Now you can have more time with him. It’s what he wants anyway.”
Madison tried to talk back, but it was so loud she could hardly think. She looked around and saw a photo booth. She pulled her inside and yanked the curtain shut.
“What are we doing in here?” Grace asked.
“I’m trying to talk to you.”
Grace started to protest, but Madison grabbed her face.
“Tell me why you don’t want me here,” Madison insisted.
“Because I wanted to spend time with Jake.” Grace looked hurt and serious and almost…lost.
“Why?” Madison asked.
“Because I love him and I feel like I’m losing him all over again.”
“It’s not because you don’t want me?”
Grace grew silent. Then, “No.”
“Then kiss me.”
Madison leaned in and barely touched her lips. Grace let her but kept pulling back ever so slightly. Their breathing was quick and tight, around them the video game world spun. Grace came forward and kissed her lightly but pulled away again. They danced that way, just between kisses for a long, punishing eternity.
“Please,” Madison whispered.
“I—”
Grace’s cell phone rang and Madison groaned. “Can’t you just throw that thing out? Just for the evening, can’t you turn it off?”
Grace scowled and fumbled for it. “No, I can’t,” she answered with irritation in her voice. “Hold on a sec.” Her hand covered the phone. “I have to go.”
“This isn’t right, Grace,” Madison said, following her out of the booth.
“What isn’t right, Madison? Him staying here with me when he’d rather be with you?”
“None of this is right.”
But Grace turned and headed for the main door.
“None of this is right,” Madison repeated.
*
Grace cried the whole way home. What could she do? Jake was pulling away. She needed to work. The trial was winding down. This was just how things were. She was going to have to suck it up and get on with it.
At least Jake was out of trouble now. Yes, he hardly spoke to her anymore and the house felt cold and unlived in, but at least he was out of trouble. Madison was a great influence. She couldn’t ask for a better one.
She even had her own desire to be with her. But that couldn’t happen. Not with things like this. She couldn’t allow herself to focus on Madison when Jake was pulling further away and work was keeping her up all hours of the night.
She just had to focus on the trial. She’d done her best with Jake. It was all she could do.
Her cell phone rang again and she eyed the number in the display. As if things couldn’t get any worse. She fought tears again as she readied to answer.
Please, God, let it be good news.
But in her heart, she knew that it wasn’t.
Chapter Nineteen
“Jake,” Madison called as she trotted up to him. He was doing his chores on his own again. His slender arms were tanned and sinewy with new muscle, his face hard with seriousness.
“Yes, ma’am?”
“What’s going on? You okay?”
He shrugged.
“You’ve been real quiet lately. Even the other boys have noticed.”
“Just doing my chores,” he said, his voice flat.
“Everything okay at home?”
“It’s not my home, and yes.”
“It’s not your home? What’s that mean?”
He lifted a bale of hay from the bed of the truck and walked unsteadily into a pen. He grunted as he dropped it into a container.
“It means it’s never been my home. It’s just a place to squat for a while.” He spat and wiped his brow.
“Until when?”
“Until Aunt Grace gets sick of me.”
“Jake, that’s not true.”
“No offense, Ms. Clark, but you don’t know nothing.”
The comment stung, taking her aback for a moment. Jake was hard. Harder than he was when he’d first arrived. Something had happened or was happening.
“You know you can talk to me,” she said, hoping like hell he would.
“No use. It’s not gonna help me when I got no place to stay.”
“Jake, you’ll always have a place to stay.” He eyed her and she could see the forming tears. “Your aunt Grace—”
“No. Don’t.”
“And if not with her, then here.”
He cut the strings off the hay and dispersed the numerous flakes to the other Rubbermaid containers.
His silence was killing her.
“Jake, what is going on?”
“Nothing, ma’am. Nothing new anyway. I’m just in the way. I’m a burden.”
“That’s not true.”
He threw down the last flake of hay. “It is true! And you, you don’t know nothing about it!”
He took off back into the stables and she hurried after him. She heard him crying before she saw him. He was balled up in a corner trembling with tears. His cap was at his feet and tears streaked through the dirt and sweat on his face.
She knelt next to him. “Tell me how it’s true, Jake,” she said softly. “Tell me.”
“She—she—all she does is work. All the time. Even at night. She never even sleeps. She won’t talk to me. She won’t spend time with me. It’s all about that fucking trial!” He began to sob again.
“I’m sure once this trial is over—”
“No. No.” He shook his head. “There will be another one. And then another one. She’s their go-to girl. She has to make partner. Whatever the hell that means. And me, well, I’m just in the way, aren’t I? All she does is snap at me or ask me ridiculous questions. Ones I’ve already told her the answers to.”
It was obvious Grace wasn’t paying attention to him. But other things he’d said concerned her as well. She wanted so badly to ask him if Grace was all right, but she knew that’d set him off and he’d think she didn’t care.
“Come on,” she said, helping him up.
“Where we going?” He grabbed his ball cap and placed it on his head, wiping his tears with his wrist.
“It’s lunchtime,” she said.
“After that, can I ride out on the trail with you?”
“We’ll see. But first I’ve got to make a phone call.”
*
Madison walked from the patio where the boys were eating to call Grace. She wanted her to answer on the first or second ring,
but it went on to her voicemail.
“Grace, this is Madison. Can you give me a call back, please? I need to talk to you about something.”
She ended the call and leaned against the house. What would she have said to her had she answered? What the hell is going on? I’m worried about you? I’m worried about Jake? None of it sounded like something Grace would want to hear, and it was already difficult enough just to get her to set foot on the ranch. Still…her worry got the better of her, and she looked in Jake’s file and found the office number, and dialed.
“Grace Hollings’s office,” a female answered.
“Is Grace in?”
“No, I’m sorry. Grace is in court. Can I help you?”
“This is—Do you know when she’ll be out?”
“I don’t know. They are giving closing statements today, so it should be soon.”
“Thank you.”
“Are you sure I can’t take a message?”
“Thanks, but no.”
So Grace was in court. That’s why she wasn’t answering her phone.
“Damn.” It would have to wait until afternoon. That is, if Grace didn’t send someone else to get Jake. She hoped she wouldn’t. She had some things she needed to get to the bottom of.
“Hey, Marv.”
“Yeah?”
She pulled him aside from the patio. “I need to talk to Grace tonight.”
“About what?”
“A lot of things.”
“Why are you telling me?” he asked.
“Do you think you could take her over to the colt? When she first gets here?”
“Trying to soften her up?”
“I’m trying to keep her from leaving.”
“What’s going on, Maddy?”
“I don’t know,” she sighed.
“You really care about her, don’t you?”
She paused and stared into the grass. “Yes.”
He shook his head. “Well, I guess that’s all that matters.”
“Thanks.”
“Don’t thank me.”
“Okay. I’ll hug you instead.”
“Oh, hell.” He embraced her halfheartedly. “You know I think you’re crazy, right?”
“Yes. I might be.”
He laughed.
“I just know I can’t stop worrying about her. That has to mean something.”