by Ronica Black
“Yes, but does she feel the same about you?”
“I don’t know.” I hope so.
“Ms. Clark?” Michael was leaning on the patio rail.
“Yes?”
“Are we gonna saddle up the horses now?”
“I was thinking about it.”
“Okay.” He smiled.
“Go on over to Bobby and he’ll get you started.”
The boys all hollered with excitement as they scrambled for the barn. All of them except Jake. She scanned them twice to be sure. Then she went inside the house. His file was lying on the kitchen counter, open. She’d made sure she closed it.
“Shit. Jake? Jake?” she yelled for him up and down the hallway. “Jake, are you in here?”
He’d never wandered into the house alone before. He must’ve been looking for her. And now he’d found the file. That couldn’t make any kid feel good. Most of it was from the state’s evaluation, and none of it was anything he would want to read.
“Jake?” Please let him be in here. Even if he’s holed up crying in the bathroom.
But he wasn’t in the house.
She trotted outside and found Marv. “You seen Jake?”
“No.”
“Do you know if he ate?”
He shook his head. “Why?”
She ran to the stables where the boys were busy practicing how to saddle their horses on their own. They’d been taught the day before, and many had their horses all ready to go.
“Where’s Jake?” she asked, starting to panic.
She got grumbles and shrugs.
“Did he eat lunch?”
The last time she saw him, he was pouring a glass of iced tea, waiting on the grilled burgers.
“He went in the house looking for you,” Michael said.
“When?”
“A while ago. Before we ate.”
“I saw him come over here,” another boy said. “A while back.”
“Oh, God.” She hurried to Draco’s stall. It was empty.
“Marv!” She pushed the crowding boys out of her way. Marv came sprinting from the house.
“What is it?”
“Jake’s gone. And so is Draco.”
He scanned the land around them quickly. “Where would he go?”
Her heart jumped in her chest. “He said something about the trail.”
Marv raised an eyebrow. “Does he know which one?”
“No.” There had to be a dozen out there, all leading out into the desert and over the mountains. No place for a child and a horse.
“Aw, shit.”
“Bobby!”
Bobby came running from around the stables. “Is Jake gone?”
“Yes, why?”
He held up a note. Madison’s heart sank as she read it: I won’t be back.
Chapter Twenty
Grace sped like a demon up the dirt trail and to the ranch.
She slammed the car in park and flew out, running and collapsing in her heels.
“Where is he,” she demanded. “Where’s Jake?”
Marv helped her to her feet. “There, there. Calm down.”
“Calm down? Don’t ever say that to me again.”
She moved past him to Madison, who was talking to a deputy sheriff.
“Where is he? Madison, where is he?”
Madison excused herself from the deputy and he crossed the lawn to regroup with the others. It was pushing on five o’clock, and it looked as though the other kids were gone. A helicopter loomed overhead.
“We don’t know,” Madison said. “He—the chopper has yet to see him, so we’re thinking he’s found some shade somewhere.”
“Oh my God,” Grace said. “I can’t lose him. I can’t lose him, Madison.”
Madison pulled her in tight for an embrace, but she pounded her fists on her shoulders. “Where is he? Where is he!”
“Shh, we’ll find him. We’ll find him.” Madison held her tight and felt her fragile body shaking beneath her arms.
“We’re going to get a hold on his ankle bracelet, okay? We’ll find him that way.”
“Something’s wrong,” she said. “You should’ve already found him, with a helicopter and the sheriff’s department. He’s a boy on a black horse, Madison. How hard can he be to find?”
Marv looked away and Madison pulled away from her. Her eyes were clouded with worry.
“Grace,” she said. “We don’t think he wants to be found.”
“You think he’s hiding?”
“Maybe.”
“But why. Why would he do this?”
“We were hoping you might know. He left a note in Draco’s stall. It said I won’t be back.”
“Oh God. Oh God.” Sobs overcame her. The world was closing in around her. Not Jake. Not Jake.
“Grace?” Madison helped her to the patio, where she eased her down in the shade. “You’re bleeding,” she said, touching her leg.
“I don’t care.” She jerked it away from her warm fingers. “All I care about is Jake. How could you let this happen? How?”
Madison shifted and folded her hands together. “I tried to call you today. Earlier, before any of this had happened.”
“Why?”
“To find out what was going on with you and him.”
“What do you mean?”
“Grace, he was really upset. And he said some things that worried me. Like how he was a burden to you and how your home wasn’t his home. That he would soon have no place to stay.”
Grace felt the tears come again. “He said that?”
“Yes. He said you don’t talk to him and that all you do is work.”
“He said he didn’t have a home?”
“Yes.”
She closed her eyes. “I shouldn’t have told him. I just shouldn’t have told him.”
“Told him what?”
“That his mother left rehab. We—no one can find her.”
“Oh, no.”
“And that’s not all.” She hesitated, fighting tears. “Gabby left a note. It said I won’t be back.”
Madison breathed in sharply.
“I shouldn’t have told him.”
“Well, he had a right to know.”
“Yes, but now he thinks I don’t want him. He thinks he has no home. He thinks I’m going to get rid of him.” She laughed. “I actually thought he might worry about her coming to find him. Or I thought he might try to find her. Boy, was I wrong. Guess he knows her better than I do. She’s long gone and she’s not coming back.”
“You can’t be sure of that.”
“Yes, I can. I am. We’ll never see her again. Not after this time. She wants to disappear. She knows I have Jake, so now she’s completely free. She’s gone, Madison.”
“Come on,” Madison said, taking her hand. “Come inside.”
“No. I can’t. Not till we find Jake.” She cried. “I love him so much and he doesn’t know that, does he?”
Madison didn’t speak, but she didn’t release her hand either.
“It’s all my fault. He started spending more time with you and I got jealous and I let work take over everything. He—he was trying to tell me this the whole time and I ignored him. I’m so awful.” She collapsed into her hands, feeling like dying. If anything happened to him, she’d never forgive herself.
“You aren’t awful,” Madison said.
“No, please. I wasn’t fishing there. I really have been behaving awfully. Oh God, if anything happens to him…Isn’t there anything we can do? I feel so helpless just sitting here.” She stood and tried to make her way to the deputies.
“They won’t let us, Grace. They want us to stay here.”
“I can’t just sit here!”
“I’m sorry.”
“Can’t I take my car out and look?”
“They have men out there on horseback and SUV. Not to mention the chopper. They’ll find him, Grace. I promise.”
But Grace didn’t want to hear it. She couldn’t bear
to hear it. They might find him, but would he be okay? Or would he have already hurt himself somehow? What if the horse had thrown him again?
She ran for the stables, feeling sick. She hadn’t eaten all day. The trial had ended and they were waiting for the jury, but she honestly didn’t care one way or the other. All she wanted was for Jake to return. And in the meantime, she couldn’t bear to be out there doing nothing. She needed to feel closer to him.
The stable felt warm and smelled of hay and manure. She found her way to the first stall and opened the door. The colt was wary at first but then came to her when she knelt. As she inhaled his skin and felt his breath, she began to cry.
*
“Grace, Grace.” Marv was shaking her shoulder.
“Yes?” She bolted upright along with the colt.
“I’ve got good news.” He smiled. “They found him.”
“What!” She stood. “Is he okay?”
Marv nodded. “He’s going to be fine.”
She jumped in his arms and held him tight. “Oh, thank you. Thank you, thank you, thank you.” Then she turned and kissed the colt. “Thank you, Colby.”
“Colby?” Marv asked as she ran from the stall.
“That’s his name,” she called back. “He told me.”
Grace tore off her shoes and sprinted out of the stables. “Where is he?” she asked the first man she saw. The man pointed to an SUV pulling up. Grace followed it as it slowed, and when the door opened, she yanked Jake by the arm and pulled him out and hugged him tightly.
“Oh my God. Oh my God,” she cried into his ear. “Oh, honey. I’m so glad you’re okay.”
She couldn’t let go of him. She wanted to hold him safe in her arms forever.
“I love you. I love you so much,” she said, holding his face. “Do you hear me? I love you and I want you with me. I want us to have a home.”
Jake’s face twisted into tears. “I’m sorry, Aunt Grace. I’m so sorry.”
She held him tighter and stroked his hair. “It’s okay. It’s okay now.”
They held each other and cried even as the officer led them toward the ambulance. Grace shook as she continued to half hug him. He looked sunburned and dirty. His hair was mussed and coated in dried sweat and dirt. But he looked alive and strong. His eyes were bright and full of sorrow. She’d never seen him look so beautiful before.
“I love you, Jake,” she said, laying her head on his shoulder.
“I love you too.”
Chapter Twenty-one
Madison watched from the patio as Grace and Jake were reunited. It was a beautiful sight to see, and she teared up herself at the love she could feel coming off them. As badly as she wanted to go to them, she knew they needed their space, and she’d done enough meddling to last a lifetime. Now it was up to Grace and Jake. She’d let him finish the program, but the rest was not her concern. She’d done her best to try, and that was all she had in her. As hard as it was to let Grace go, she had to. For all their sakes.
“Marv, let me know how Draco is,” she said as she exited the patio.
“Where are you going?”
“Inside.”
“You okay?”
“Yeah. Oh and let them know, Grace and Jake, they can stay here tonight if they want. I know that boy isn’t going to want to go anywhere near a hospital.”
“Okay,” he sighed. “Will do.” But before he walked away he stopped. “Oh, I found her in with that colt. They were curled up together. Never seen anything like it.”
“Really.”
“Yeah, and it was the darndest thing. She said he told her his name was Colby.”
Madison smiled. “I’m not surprised.”
“I have to admit I am. I’ve seen more heart in that woman tonight than I’d ever thought I’d see.”
“I told you.”
“I can see why you’re in love with her.”
“In love?” The words sort of smacked her.
He just smiled. “Don’t bother arguing.” He tilted his hat. “I’ll go tell them to stay here tonight.”
Madison settled back on the couch and tried to relax. But the day’s events kept resurfacing, and she wondered if she really did need to change things on the ranch. Jake had managed to escape on a horse twice. Boys had done other things to cause trouble, but this one could have been life-threatening. She should’ve known better than to leave his side when he was so upset.
“Damn it.” She rose and poured herself some iced tea, too strung up for wine. How had she messed up with two people she cared so much about?
“Hi.”
Madison sank down on the couch as Grace entered the room.
“Hi,” Madison replied.
Jake was behind her. “Ms. Clark,” he said. “I’m so sorry.” He started to cry again. “I didn’t mean to cause so much trouble.”
Grace hugged him and wiped his eyes. Madison stood and placed a hand on his shoulder. “I’m glad you’re okay,” she said.
“But you’re upset.”
“Well, yes, Jake. We talked about consequences. This is one of them. You took off again when I trusted you. You took my horse and you put both your lives in danger.”
“Maybe now’s not the time—” Grace said.
“Let her talk,” Jake said. “I need to hear it.”
Madison sighed. “I’m glad you’re okay, Jake. Truly.” She hugged him. “Your safety is my main concern.”
“I didn’t hurt Draco. He’s fine. He rode real good.”
“I’m glad.” Madison rubbed her forehead. “How are you?”
“He’s a little dehydrated but okay otherwise,” Grace said. “I think more than anything he’s just exhausted. And I am too.”
Both did indeed look exhausted. She longed to tuck them into bed. “Well, you’re free to stay here tonight.”
“Are you sure?”
Madison nodded. “It’s the least I can do. Besides, it’s after dark.”
“Thank you.”
Madison showed them to the spare wing, where there were two bedrooms and a bathroom. Then she retrieved fresh clothes for them both.
“My room is down the hall to the left if you need me.”
Grace smiled at her softly. “Thank you, Madison.”
“Sure.”
Madison left them to bathe and get ready for bed. Outside, everyone had left and she made her way to her own room to shower and get ready for bed. The day still swam in her mind and no answers were forthcoming. Sleep would not be easy, so she decided to turn on her record player and lie down with a glass of wine.
She chose Coltrane’s “In a Sentimental Mood” and sat back onto her bed. The candlelight from her night table flickered across the ceiling. Lila and Flaca settled onto their beds and the night slowly eased in around her. She closed her eyes several times, sleep trying to come. The last time she opened them, Grace was at her door, and she had to blink to make sure she wasn’t dreaming.
“Can I come in?” Grace asked.
Madison nodded.
“You weren’t sleeping, were you?” She closed and locked the door behind her. She smiled as she took in the large room. “A fireplace in here too?”
“Yes.”
“You’re a romantic.”
“Diehard romantic, I’m afraid.”
“Wine?” she asked, coming to sit on the bed.
Madison couldn’t take her eyes from her. She had on a long T-shirt and, it appeared, nothing else.
“Where are the pajama pants I gave you?”
She shrugged. “I was hot.”
Madison grinned, knowing the wine had already reached her. “Yes, you are.”
“Would you like to feel how hot?” Grace whispered.
“Yes.”
Grace took her hand and kissed it delicately. “First I want to talk to you,” she said and her eyes welled with tears.
“You look so tired, Grace,” Madison said and touched her face. “So delicate and so tired.”
“Shh, I wa
nt to say something to you.”
“Okay.”
“I’m sorry for how I’ve treated you.”
Madison wasn’t sure what to say. She didn’t need her to apologize. She could see it all in her eyes and in her face.
“I’ve been a real bitch and I blew you off and I got jealous. I was just a mess. And then this whole thing with Gabby and the trial…”
“Grace, you don’t have to explain.”
“Yes, I do. And then today with Jake…something happened inside. Something huge. I realized that what I really needed and wanted was already in front of me. That I didn’t need anything else.”
“Jake.”
Her eyes lit up. “Yes. And that I wasn’t going to wait around for Gabby anymore. I don’t need Gabby. I can raise Jake. As if he were my own. I want to. I love him that much.” She shook her head. “My career, I need to make a change. I don’t want or need to work that many hours. I just found out we won our case today and I don’t even care. All I care about is Jake and…” She touched Madison’s face. “You.”
“Me?”
“Yes. God, I wanted to run to you, Madison. I’ve wanted to run to you for so long. I’m so sorry I pushed you away. I’m so sorry.”
“It’s okay. I—was ready to just let you go.”
“That’s not okay! Please don’t let me go. I’m so ready for a change.”
“Tomorrow’s a new day.”
“How about tonight?”
Madison smiled. “There is always tonight.”
Grace bent her head and kissed her. “Mmm, you feel good.”
“So do you.”
“Do you want to feel how hot I am?”
“Oh, yes.”
Grace took her hand and led it carefully up her thigh. But Madison drew back a little, kissing her deeper while stroking her skin lightly, up and down, tickling her leg.
“Oh, Madison,” she said. “Mmm, hurry. Feel me. I’m already so hot for you.”
Madison trailed her fingers up her thigh, lightly teasing with the back of her nails until she felt her bare flesh. Grace gripped her wrist and called out.
“Madison.”
“You are hot, baby. So very hot. And wet.”
“Mmm, yeah. I am. You do this to me.”
“I do?”
“Yes. I almost couldn’t wait to get out of the shower.”