The Stolen Identity (The Sydney Harbour Hospital Series Book 7)
Page 17
“Josie used to understand. It’s not like anything’s changed since we got married. I was a cop when we got together. I worked long hours then, too. It’s just that now that Clancy’s arrived, it seems she wants me home more and more. I don’t know what to do about it and the whole situation’s getting me down.”
Colt stared at Chase and icy fear crawled through his gut. It was obvious Chase and Josie, who seemed ideal partners when they wed, were struggling now. Hell, was their marriage on the rocks? Colt had been a groomsman at their wedding only a few short years before. He’d never seen two people so in love. And yet, here they were, arguing over something Chase had no control over. Didn’t Josie get it? Didn’t she love Chase like she once had? Would theirs become like all the other relationships he’d watched go down the toilet?
He cursed under his breath. He’d been a fool to think he and Morgan could be different. If even his cousin couldn’t make it work, what more proof did he need? People changed when they got married and it wasn’t for the better. He hated the thought of Chase and Josie heading for divorce, but if the two of them couldn’t sort out their differences, it seemed like a real possibility.
The sludge of dread weighed heavily in his veins. His boots felt like they were fixed to the floor. He should never have given Morgan hope they could have a future. He should have trusted his gut all along. It had served him well for more than thirty years. He’d best forget about wild possibilities and concentrate on the cold hard truth. More than forty percent of marriages ended in divorce. He refused to add to the statistics.
* * *
Morgan brushed back a lock of hair from her eyes and tucked it behind her ear. Taking a sip of wine, she surreptitiously surveyed the room. She kept sneaking glances in Colt’s direction, but as far as she knew, he hadn’t told his family about the two of them. The anniversary party was in full swing, with the auditorium filled to capacity. Two musicians played country music that had her toe tapping and she noticed several other partygoers had taken to the floor.
“So Morgan, tell us about the city. What’s it like living there?”
Morgan forced her attention back to the women who surrounded her. It had been that way almost from the moment she arrived. She could understand Colt’s sisters being interested in a woman their brother had brought to a family function. She’d never had siblings, but she had a lot of good friends. It was natural to be curious about who they were seeing, or weren’t.
She smiled at Colt’s youngest sister, Darcy, and answered the question. “The city’s great. It has such a vibe. The streets are noisy and crowded. There are so many people going somewhere, always in a hurry.”
Darcy pulled a face. “It doesn’t sound like much fun to me.”
Morgan laughed and Colt’s oldest sister, Ashleigh, laughed too. “You’ve never lived anywhere else but Armidale, Darcy. Of course it sounds unattractive. Armidale and the New England area are so beautiful and peaceful, with everyone moving at a slower pace, but it doesn’t mean crowds can’t be exciting.” Ashleigh looked at Morgan expectantly. “Right, Morgan?”
“Right. The hustle and bustle just adds to the excitement and there’s so much to see and do! I work at the Sydney Harbour Hospital. It’s only about five miles from the city. I spend most of my leisure time going to exhibitions, concerts and live shows.” She laughed deprecatingly. “I never have any money, but I have a really good time.”
The girls around her laughed, and Morgan felt a rush of warmth. Colt’s sisters were so warm and welcoming, interested and polite. Darcy was in college and still lived at home. Her experience had been limited to a large country town, just like Morgan’s had been at that age.
Still, Ashleigh was right about Armidale. It was a beautiful place to live. Each season was distinct and perfect, from the frost and snow in winter, to the heat of a wide blue summer sky. Morgan hadn’t realized how much she loved the area until she’d returned this time. Most of her visits up until then had been for only four or five days.
“Would you ever move back?” Ashleigh asked quietly, as if she could read Morgan’s mind. Darcy and Emily waited for her answer, identical expressions of expectation on the faces.
Morgan took a moment to think about her reply. It would be nice to be closer to her father and with Uncle Leslie now living here… They were the only family she had.
Her thoughts flicked to Colt and her heart skipped a beat. He’d asked if she’d give them a go, but there was still so much to work out. She had a life in Sydney. He lived in the bush. Would they do the long distance thing? She couldn’t bear the thought. But was she prepared to sell her condo and relocate from the city for a man? What if things didn’t work out?
It was like Colt said – there was no guarantee of a happily ever after. Was she prepared to turn her life upside down to find out? She didn’t have the reservations he did about love and marriage, but still…
“Morgan?”
The sound of Ashleigh’s voice broke into Morgan’s thoughts and she forced herself to focus on the young women who stood around her with questioning looks on their faces. Realizing she hadn’t answered Ashleigh’s question, she flushed.
“I’m sorry, Ashleigh. I was thinking about how best to reply. I guess I wouldn’t rule out a return to the country. I grew up and went to college here. My father still lives here. It would be nice to be able to spend more time with him. But I love my life in the city, too. I have great job and a nice condo… It’s hard to say.”
A calculating gleam entered Ashleigh’s eyes. “What if you met a country boy who just couldn’t bear to drag himself away from his roots? Would that make a difference?”
Once again, heat stole across Morgan’s cheeks. She wasn’t sure if Ashleigh was hinting at the relationship between her and Colt, or if the girl was even aware of the history between them, but the woman’s gaze seemed to see right through her, to her heart beating frantically within.
She wasn’t sure if she should say anything about their recent decision to give things a go, or if she should wait for Colt to break the news. She was saved from answering because Colt arrived just then and even though his presence did nothing for her equilibrium, she was pleased for the interruption.
“Morgan, I hope my sisters aren’t boring you to tears with their endless questions.” The affectionate smile Colt bestowed on the women in his family softened his words.
Morgan licked her suddenly dry lips and answered him. “No, of course not. It’s been lovely getting to know them.”
“Good, but seeing as the speeches are over and the cake’s been cut, I thought we might call it a night. We have a long drive back to Armidale.”
Morgan blinked at the brusqueness in his tone, surprised that he wanted to leave while most of the guests were still there. She looked at him, trying to gage his mood. She’d barely spoken to him during the party. For most of the night, he’d been surrounded by his family and friends, while she’d been left to answer questions from many of the curious guests, including his sisters.
Still, she’d expected him to find her at some point during the night, even if it was to ask her to dance. The music had been playing for most of the evening and she’d looked forward to taking a turn on the floor. But one look at the closed expression on his face and she knew they wouldn’t be dancing anytime soon.
“I’ll get my bag,” she murmured and excused herself from the group. All the time, fear congealed in her heart.
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
Colt glanced at Morgan where she sat in the passenger seat of his car, dreading the conversation he needed to have with her. The tension in the air was palpable. She looked confused and wary, and rightly so. He was acting like a jerk. She deserved an explanation.
Thoughts of his buddies and their broken lives, fighting over the kids – the anger, the animosity; the tragedy that at some time in the not-too-distant past, these people loved each other and were now hell-bent on destruction. And now he could add Chase and Josie to the list.
“Are you all right?” she asked quietly.
He could hear the uncertainty in her voice and cursed under his breath. He wished he could reassure her, but the words just wouldn’t come.
“Morgan… I’m sorry.”
She stared at him, her eyes wide. “Sorry?”
He winced and hunted around for the right words. Were there any right words in this kind of situation?
“What’s the problem, Colt?” Her gaze was now narrowed and her tone was edged with anger.
He grimaced again. “I shouldn’t have said there could be something between us,” he said in a rush, keeping his gaze fixed on the road ahead.
“What?”
The shock in her voice reverberated around the tight confines of the car. He squirmed in his seat, feeling like the gutless shit that he was.
He shot her a quick look. “I thought I could overcome the fear, but tonight it overwhelmed me once again. Chase told me he and Josie are having problems. They used to be so much in love.” He shook his head in defeat. “If they can’t make it, nobody can.”
“You’re a coward, Colt Barrington!”
Her accusation rang through the air. Colt remained silent. He couldn’t deny it. She spoke the truth. He was a coward and she was better off without him. He was only glad they’d arrived at this point before too many feelings got involved. He wished with all his heart things could be different, that he could put faith in Morgan and their love, but the doubts and fears kept resurfacing. It was no way to go into a marriage.
“Tell me, Morgan,” he said quietly, “how many people do you know who are happily married?”
In the dimness, he saw her lips purse in thought. She didn’t offer a reply.
“See, I rest my case.”
“Your parents have just celebrated thirty-five years,” she said, her eyes flashing.
“Yes, but they’re from a different time. Nobody does commitment like that these days.”
“You’re wrong. I have friends who are married, and very happily.”
He shot her a droll look. “Give them time.”
Once again, she narrowed her gaze at him. “What are you afraid of, Colt?”
Her question was made even more deadly for its quiet delivery. His heart skipped a beat and then took off in full flight. His gut burned with dread. She was right. He was afraid. No, he was more than afraid. He was terrified. He didn’t want to end up like his buddies – despising the women they once vowed to love until death they did part.
As far as he was concerned, the end of the happily ever after, was a death, just not in the literal sense. He bet none of his friends thought on their wedding day that there would come a time when they couldn’t stand the sight of their bride. It was all so terribly sad and depressing.
“I… I don’t think I’m ready to give you what you need, Morgan. I wish I could. I want to. I want to so much, but…I can’t.”
They rode the rest of the way in silence and every tense mile ate into Colt’s gut. Morgan sat quiet and still beside him, staring out the window into the dark. An hour later, he turned into his driveway and switched off the ignition. He hardly dared to look in her direction, but finally found the courage.
She stared at him, her eyes wide with devastation. Tears coursed down her cheeks. His jaw clenched. He felt worse than he’d ever felt in his life.
“Thank you for the evening,” she murmured, “and just so you know, you can find someone else to play your stupid games. I’m done.” With that, she climbed out of the car and with her head held high, she walked slowly in the direction of his condo.
Colt cursed and tamped down the instinct to go after her. She needed time to herself. Time to think through his about-face and to come to terms with it. Time to accept that Colt Barrington was a cowardly prick and she was better off without him.
* * *
Morgan used the pillow to muffle her sobs. She’d used the spare key to get inside Colt’s condo, unwilling to wait for him to let her in. He’d stared at her so calmly and told her there was no future for them, after everything they’d been through. She still couldn’t believe it.
Oh, he’d told her at the outset that he wasn’t the marrying kind. She’d known his stance as well as he knew how much she yearned to have a husband, a family of her own. And she’d believed him, as he’d believed her. But then, he’d slept with her and asked her to give them a chance. He’d even invited her to his parents’ anniversary celebration, knowing all of his friends and family would be there. What else was she supposed to think, but that he’d been making a public declaration?
She wasn’t stupid and neither were the people who gathered in that room. Most of them would have assumed they were a couple. It was Colt who’d turned cowardly, who’d backed out of their deal. She couldn’t believe he’d done it, yet again.
A fresh wave of anger rushed through her and she pounded the pillow with her fist. She was angry at him for leading her on, but she was just as angry with herself. She’d known from the outset that he disdained commitment and for all his pretty words earlier in the evening, fear such as his didn’t just go away. It served her right for thinking any different. She’d fallen for him and that was nobody’s fault but hers.
The knowledge filled her spine with steel. She was made of sterner stuff. She’d been through some tough times before and come out the other side. The death of her mother had devastated her and yet she’d continued her studies and graduated from college with honors. She’d forged a successful career, had good friends, a condominium near the beach. She had much to be thankful for and as soon as her dad arrived home and she satisfied herself he was all right, she’d head back to the city.
That was her real life. The city, her job, her friends. Colt Barrington was her past and it was best for everyone that he stayed there. Now, if his sisters asked her their questions, the answers would come easy…
* * *
Colt glanced at the cheap government-issued clock that hung on the wall opposite his desk and rubbed his gritty eyes. It was barely nine in the morning, but already he’d had enough. The office was quiet. Even the phones hadn’t rung. That happened on a public holiday. He ought to be out celebrating the national holiday, like everyone else. Instead, he was at work trying hard to summon the enthusiasm he needed to follow up on a few witness statements to the Anthony Adamson case.
The night before, he’d followed Morgan into his condo and had heard her crying behind her bedroom door. He’d wanted to go and offer her comfort, but he forced himself to stay away. Nothing had changed in the moments between when he’d torn her hopes apart and then and there was nothing he could say or do to make things better. Her door had still been closed when he left for work that morning.
He thought of Marie Adamson, the mother of the murdered children, and his chest went tight. That woman would spend the rest of her days knowing her ex-husband had murdered her children because he couldn’t stand the thought of her having them. How did someone come back from that? How did they manage to go on? It was inconceivable that they could – and yet, Marie Adamson had no choice.
A fresh wave of sadness and irritation surged through him and he cursed under his breath, wishing he had something else to focus on, something that didn’t involve putting a brief together against a father who’d deliberately drowned his kids.
The phone in his pocket vibrated and he sighed, welcoming the interruption. Glancing at the screen, he was tempted not to answer, but even talking to his brother had to be better than stewing on what had happened the night before.
“Beau, what do you want?” he muttered.
“My, my, my! Who’s woken up tired and cranky? It’s not my fault you’ve been up all night doing the horizontal samba.”
Colt grimaced, wishing a long and mutually satisfyin
g lovemaking session with Morgan was the cause of his irritation and fatigue. The night could have ended that way, if he’d kept his mouth shut. It just went to show what a dick he was.
“Shut up, Beau. It’s none of your business.”
Beau sounded taken aback. “Wow, okay. I take it the night didn’t end as well as you expected.”
“You’ve got that right,” Colt muttered.
“Dare I ask what happened?”
“I happened. I told her there could never be anything between us.”
“What the hell are you talking about, Colt? You’re crazy for her. Anyone can see that.”
“It’s not that easy, Beau. She wants to get married, have a family. You know how I feel about all that. For a while, I thought maybe I could give it a go, see where it all led, but then Chase came over complaining about Josie and I panicked. What chance have I got when a couple like Chase and Josie can’t make things work?”
Beau sighed on the other end of the phone. “Shit, Colt. You’re overreacting. Chase was just having a bad night. We’ve all been there. All couples argue. It’s natural. It doesn’t mean their marriage is about to fall apart.”
“More than forty percent of all marriages in Australia end in divorce, Beau. You know the stats as well as I do.”
“Exactly!” Beau replied triumphantly. “The other sixty percent survive! You’re looking at it all the wrong way, Colt. It’s glass half-full kind of stuff. Not every marriage ends in divorce. Look on the bright side, little bro. It’s nearly two-thirds full.”
Colt compressed his lips. He hadn’t looked at it like that. It seemed like he’d only seen the worst of it, the havoc that could be wreaked when it all went so wrong. Like with the Adamson family and countless others that filled the pages of the police files.
“If you think it’s such a noble institution, how come you’ve never taken the plunge?” Colt threw at his brother.
“It’s not for the same reasons as you, let me assure you,” Beau replied. “The divorce rate doesn’t scare me off. It’s finding the right woman. I fully intend to get married and I plan on staying that way from the day the vows are made. I want what Mom and Dad have. Thirty-five years and still counting. I want forever, Colt. I just haven’t found my forever woman, yet.”