A Matter of Honor

by Abigail Reynolds

  His steady look told her he understood her reasoning. “I would be happy to receive you there.”

  The sound of a fiddler tuning up came from below stairs. “The celebration must be beginning,” Elizabeth said ruefully.

  He looked embarrassed. “I fear it may go on late into the night. I hope it will not disturb you overly much.”

  “Only in that it is somewhat embarrassing to have our news received with such joy.” She still found it hard to speak of their engagement. A sick feeling churned in the pit of her stomach.

  She offered MacLaren her hand, conscious of Darcy’s presence in the drawing room. He would be thinking the worst the longer she remained out of his sight with MacLaren.

  He bowed over her hand, and she was grateful he made no attempt to kiss it. She was not yet ready for that.

  “THANK YOU FOR BRINGING me to see the castle,” Miss Darcy said, her words coming out all in a rush. “I will try not to be in your way.”

  Elizabeth turned weary eyes on Darcy’s sister seated beside her in the gig. The poor girl had not asked to be Elizabeth’s excuse to leave Kinloch and Darcy behind for the day, and certainly it was not her fault that she was a constant reminder of her brother. “I am glad of your company, and I do not know when else you might have this opportunity.” She tried to inject warmth into her voice.

  The girl bit her lip. “If you want some time alone with Mr. MacLaren, I hope you will tell me. I brought my sketchpad and will be happy to sketch the castle.”

  “That is very kind of you, but unnecessary. This is not a love match for either of us, just a good practical connection.” Why had she felt the need to say that?

  “I thought him a very pleasant gentleman.”

  “He is.” What else was there to say? “I hope your brother will not mind that I took you away from him your very first day here.”

  “I am glad you did,” the girl confided. “He needs time to talk to Cousin Richard. My poor cousin has been in low spirits for months, but I thought seeing my brother would cheer him. It is unlike them to quarrel like this.”

  That was not a topic she cared to discuss. “Your brother is not at his best. Despite what he may say, I believe he is in substantial pain.” Pain from his head, his ribs, and his legs, but mostly pain in his heart. Because of her.

  “He does not like to complain, so I never know if he is suffering.”

  “So I have learned, but I believe his discomfort is lessening.” But talking about Darcy was too painful. “Look, we are almost there. The loch is behind that line of trees.”

  Mr. MacLaren received them warmly and his father with even greater enthusiasm. The younger man gave Miss Darcy the same tour of the castle Elizabeth had received the day before, but the girl asked far more questions, seeming enraptured by the history of the castle. Elizabeth spent much of her time in conference with the old laird, who now wished to know every detail of her life.

  When Elizabeth pointed this out to the younger MacLaren, he laughed. “Och, he wishes to know what you are made of and whether you have the strength to take on the part of the laird’s wife. Dinna fret, though; in these modern days, there are fewer responsibilities, and I will not expect you to take on anything you do not wish to. That was not part of our agreement.”

  It had not been, but Elizabeth could not pretend this part of his life did not exist. She would have to make some effort to be part of the life of the clan for their children’s sake, if nothing else. But it was hard to care about a future that felt so bleak.

  MacLaren must have noticed her change in mood, for he said lightly, “I will not, for example, expect you to lead the clan into battle should I be kidnapped by a rival clan, as one Lady MacLaren did in the time of Robert the Bruce.”

  Miss Darcy, who had been making a sketch of the Great Hall, looked up, her eyes widened. “Truly? What happened?”

  “Och, now that is quite the tale!” MacLaren, to Elizabeth’s relief, launched into a convoluted saga of internecine clan warfare. When he finished, he stopped to look at Miss Darcy’s sketch. “Aye, lass, you’ve a rare talent! You have caught the room exactly.”

  The girl flushed. “Thank you, but the perspective is not quite right. Do you see how this wall seems a little off?”

  “I would never have noticed it,” he said stoutly. “Such a picture...” His voice trailed off unexpectedly.

  Miss Darcy bit her lip and stared worriedly at her sketch.

  “Is something the matter?” Elizabeth asked MacLaren.

  “Nothing at all,” he said with a smile. “Not now. I have had it in my mind for so long that I would be leaving this place forever to go to America, taking nothing but memories, so my first thought was to ask Miss Darcy for a sketch that I could someday show to my children. But now that you have agreed to marry me, there will be no need to leave, and my children will grow up knowing their ancestral home instead of having no more than a sketch of it. I have not yet adjusted my thinking.”

  The girl still looked concerned. “But why would you ever leave such a perfect place?”

  “Och, lass, ’twould not be willingly,” he said with a smile. “’Tis a long, sad story. My great-grandfather took out a mortgage on our land to build the new wing of the castle, expecting he could repay it in his lifetime. But then the rebellion happened and the English burnt the castle and took Kinloch House. He had to mortgage the remaining property to the hilt just to feed our people. It has taken us this long to pay off most of the debt, and we hoped to be free of it in another ten years, but last year the bank called in our mortgage early. An English lord wants our land to raise sheep, after clearing all the tenants, of course. We have done everything we could, sold anything of value, and begged for loans, but it was not enough.” He paused, his eyes distant. “I thought this would be my last winter in Scotland. I am grateful, both for myself and for the clan, that it will not be.”

  “That is terrible!” Miss Darcy had tears in her eyes. “Such things should not be permitted!”

  “True, but the world is full of many injustices, and we can do no more than our best,” he said with an effort at lightness. “’Tis a true gift for drawing you have there, lass.”

  RICHARD LOOKED UP FROM the chessboard when Georgiana, Elizabeth, and MacLaren entered. “Did you like the castle, poppet?” he asked Georgiana before moving the intricately carved Indian pawn forward a space.

  Georgiana’s eyes sparkled above her pink cheeks. “Oh, yes. It was like stepping into a novel. I met the MacLaren, and he was wearing a kilt.”

  “Formal Highland dress,” inserted MacLaren the Younger with a smile. “I wear it, too, when I am on formal clan business, but my father wears nothing else.”

  “They have the most astonishing medieval dining hall. We were invited to dine there, but when the snow started, Mr. MacLaren insisted on bringing us back right away. I was glad when I saw how the mountains glowed in the sunset, just like in The Lady of the Lake – ‘Each purple peak, each flinty spire was bathed in floods of living fire.’ And the falling snow made everything even more magical.”

  Darcy could not help himself. “Miss Elizabeth, did you find it magical, too?”

  She flinched at the cutting edge in his voice. “I found it cold. I managed to stay on my pony, which I consider a victory. I am not much of a horsewoman.”

  MacLaren looked embarrassed. “I am sorry I had to insist upon it, but horseback is safer than your gig in the snow. I will have a man return it once the road is clear.”

  “Will you still travel to town tomorrow?” Georgiana sounded worried.

  “Aye, but there is no need to fret. This is not enough snow to close the pass and my horse is surefooted. If need be, I can stay overnight in Aberfoyle,” said MacLaren. “I will stop here on my way home, and we can decide then if the roads are safe enough to go to Edinburgh the following day.”

  “I would prefer not to put that off any longer than necessary, but I doubt my ability to ride any great distance,” said Elizabeth.
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  Darcy’s chest tightened. Elizabeth was not wasting any time before going off alone with MacLaren. “You wish to share the news with your aunt, of course.”

  “Naturally,” said Elizabeth coolly.

  “We must draw up the settlements, too, and I expect we will hold the wedding while we are there,” said MacLaren easily. He seemed to be watching Richard.

  Now Darcy could not breathe at all.

  “You will be gone some time, then, to allow for the calling of the banns,” said Richard.

  “Banns? There is no need. Scottish law does not require them. I imagine we will return in a week or so. I have a few matters I must settle here, and the clan will wish to hold a ceilidh to celebrate. After that, we will likely spend the remainder of the winter in Edinburgh.” MacLaren glanced at Elizabeth. “If that suits you, my dear.”

  Elizabeth nodded, but her face was pale.

  Richard exclaimed, “You are in quite a hurry!”

  Elizabeth’s cheeks flushed, and she turned slowly to face Richard. “Why, yes, Colonel,” she said in a silky voice. “We are in quite a hurry. I am certain you can imagine why.”

  Richard blinked, appearing taken aback. “All the usual reasons, I suppose.”

  MacLaren touched the back of Elizabeth’s hand, and she subsided.

  LATER, ONCE MACLAREN had left, Darcy finally found a chance to speak to Elizabeth, calling after her as she was about to follow Mrs. Graham from the room. “Miss Elizabeth!”

  She halted in place, but did not turn around immediately. “Yes, Mr. Darcy?”

  “Why?” he asked gruffly, all the words he had prepared deserting him.

  She did not pretend to misunderstand him. In a calm social voice she said, “I told you that we could only have this time together because no one knew where we were. We were discovered. It was a foolish risk to have taken. I should have returned to Edinburgh immediately.”

  “Richard will tell no one if I ask him not to. Georgiana can keep a secret.” Was there nothing he could do to bring back her warmth?

  She sighed. “Your family are the last people in the world I can trust. I am sorry. This is not the ending I wished for.”

  “Then choose a different ending.” His eyes pleaded with her.

  She shook her head slowly. “I am not the one writing the script. I never have been. Pray excuse me.”

  “One more thing, if I may. It is about Richard.”

  She crossed her arms. “He made me a formal apology, and I accepted it. I will not be rude to him again. That is the best you can hope for.”

  “Richard’s reaction was unusual for him. He has been in low spirits for months, ever since his transfer to India was canceled. Normally he would not react like that.”

  She looked down at her slippers. “That is unfortunate for him. I remember he spoke of looking forward to returning to India. But he is not the only one to suffer a loss since then, is he?”

  “No. Of course not,” he said heavily. “What he said the other day – that is not who he is. That is all.”

  Her smile was artificial. “You must pardon me; we will never agree on your family. Your sister is a very sweet girl, but as for the rest of them, I wish them far, far away from me. Now I must go before I say anything worse.” Her skirts swished as she hurried out of the room.

  He opened his mouth to call after her to point out that she liked Jasper well enough, but remembered in time that she thought he and Jasper were merely friends. He buried his face in his hands.

  Chapter 15

  ELIZABETH WAS WORKING again on her embroidery when Georgiana appeared in the drawing room the next afternoon, back from her ride with Colonel Fitzwilliam. She had never known a girl who had such a passion for riding regardless of the weather. Her cheeks were still pink from the fresh air.

  Darcy asked, “How was Ben Lomond?”

  “We did not make it that far,” his sister said, obviously trying to mask her disappointment. “But I am glad to be back.”

  “Too cold for Richard?” Darcy asked.

  “No. The trail was steep and icy, and Cousin Richard...” Georgiana patted her hip, the spot where Richard carried his hip flask.

  “This early in the day?” Darcy exclaimed.

  The colonel was trouble enough when he was sober, but for the sake of politeness, Elizabeth pretended not to hear the girl and turned instead to Mrs. Graham. “Do you think it will snow again tonight?”

  “Like as not,” the older woman replied. “I hope Duncan has the good sense to spend the night in Aberfoyle if it does. Miss Darcy, since ye are back early, would you like another harp lesson?”

  “I would love one, if you please.” The girl held her hands out in front of the hearth. “Just as soon as my fingers are warm.”

  The sound of wheels on gravel made Elizabeth glance out the window. A familiar-looking carriage was disappearing around the corner of the house. She caught her breath. What would her aunt be doing here? She excused herself and hurried to the entry hall, a sudden rush of longing for her aunt’s comforting presence filling her.

  The butler already held the door open while Big John rushed out to lower the carriage steps. Aunt Emmeline appeared, wearing a flamboyant feathered hat which could not be doing much to keep her head warm.

  “Aunt!” cried Elizabeth, running forward to greet her. “What a delightful surprise! And Mr. Fitzpatrick, too!” She kissed her aunt’s cheek.

  Aunt Emmeline pulled her into a quick embrace. “Now go back inside, child, before you catch a chill.”

  Elizabeth allowed herself to be shooed indoors. “How did you manage to get away? I thought the theatre schedule was full.”

  Jasper unwound a scarf from his neck. “Closed for a fortnight due to influenza. Half of Edinburgh is ill. Siddons is furious about the lost revenue.”

  “He must be!” Elizabeth exclaimed. But she could not be happier, even if it meant having to explain her engagement. If only Aunt Emmeline could magically make everything better. “Aunt, I am so pleased to see you.”

  Aunt Emmeline removed her hat and rubbed her forehead. “Dearest Lizzy, I have missed you, but that carriage ride has exhausted me. Let me have a few minutes of quiet to refresh myself, and then I will join you.” It was hardly surprising. The motion of carriages often made her aunt ill.

  This was obviously not the moment to tell her aunt about her dilemma. Elizabeth beckoned to the housekeeper. “Perhaps you can take my aunt to my room since it is already warm, and light fires in the other rooms. I imagine some strong tea would not go amiss.”

  “Aye, Miss Merton. This way, Mrs. MacLaren,” said the housekeeper.

  Elizabeth stopped short. Of course the staff here would know her aunt as Mrs. MacLaren, not Mrs. MacLean. This would be very confusing. She kissed her aunt’s cheek. “I hope you feel better. If you want anything, please send word.”

  “Just to be left alone.” Her aunt turned to trudge after the housekeeper.

  The sight of Jasper gave her an idea. She had been longing for someone to confide in, someone she could tell the entire story and ask their opinion. He was acquainted with Darcy as well as her, and he might even know something about Darcy’s family. He understood what her life in Edinburgh was like, and could guess what it would cost her to give it up. Even if he could give her no advice, his understanding would be a comfort.

  She caught at his sleeve. “Jasper, you cannot know how grateful I am to see you. There is something I need to ask you about. It is rather urgent.”

  Jasper shrugged out of his overcoat and handed it to the butler. “I am glad to see you, too, but what is so pressing?”

  Since the drawing room was at the back of the house, Darcy would not have heard their arrival. “Not here. In private. The study will do.” She led him into it and shut the door. “Thank God you are here!”

  “Good Lord! What is the matter?” asked Jasper with a laugh.

  Elizabeth took a quick, shallow breath. “I am in a terrible dilemma. I was going to go
to Edinburgh tomorrow and talk to you there, but now it cannot wait at all.” Once her aunt had rested, she would have to be told the news.

  Jasper selected a leather armchair and stretched his legs out in front of him. “This sounds exciting.”

  “Not in a good way.” She took a deep breath. “I have become engaged.”

  “What?” Jasper exclaimed, sounding more amused than shocked. “Engaged to whom? Do I know him?”

  “No. He is the son of the local chieftain whom I met here.”

  He straightened, his eyes wide. “Lizzy, what are you thinking? You cannot marry a wild Highlander! How long have you known him? A fortnight? You have not even been gone a month!”

  She held out her hands to stop him. “I know, I know! I do not want to marry him, but I must marry someone quickly, and he is my best option.”

  Jasper’s jaw hardened. “What happened?” he asked ominously. “I will kill him if he has touched you.”

  “Nothing like that,” she said snappishly. Why did every man have to assume she had been unchaste? “I am being threatened with harm to my family, and the only way out is for me to marry immediately. That is the problem I wanted to talk to you about.”

  “Threatened? Good God, why would anyone want to harm you? What are they threatening?”

  She swallowed hard. “My family’s well-being. My family in England, that is. Unless I get married right away. Perhaps you can see some other way out, but I have racked my brains, and I do not think there is one.”

  He settled back in his chair. “Then you had better tell me about it. But you cannot marry a savage! If it comes to that, you’d... you’d do better to marry me, and God knows I am no prize.”

  She felt a surge of warmth for his loyal friendship. “I thank you, but you told me long ago that marriage was impossible for you. And the man here is not a savage, not at all. He is a decent man and will not be a bad husband, even if he is only marrying me for my aunt’s money.”