Federal Agents of Magic Boxed Set

by T. R. Cameron

  The dog put his paws against the door, and craned his neck to the knob, and locked his teeth around it. The troll held his breath. The grip was slippery, and so far, it had defeated them. But today would be different, he was sure of it. Teeth clinked on metal and Max’s growled softly, the door popped open with a quiet snick. Rath beamed. “Good Max. Teamwork.”

  The dog barked and the duo ventured outside, leaving the front door to swing not quite closed behind them. The neighborhood was filled with interesting features that Rath had seen through the windows. Trees, stone paths that people walked on, plus stone paths that people piloted what Diana called cars on. He liked cars. Riding with her was thrilling, and he loved the way the colors blurred and how he was thrown around.

  Max navigated the steps down to the walking lane and Rath patted him on the left side of his neck. He turned left. “Good. Teamwork.” They trotted for a while and the troll ducked into the dog’s thick fur whenever a person was nearby. Max found an opening between the cars and dashed across to the next block. The machines yelled at them in different voices, but Rath was unmoved. “Must train.”

  He recognized a building on the corner that Diana had taken him to, where she had passed him pieces of something called a scone while he sat in her purse. It was filled with rich smells that he liked—similar to but better than those emitted by the growly machine at home. Another store stood beside it, and after that, a passage extended back between the buildings. It was dark and narrow and foreboding. “Good place for enemies.” He gave Max a tap, and they turned into the alley.

  Rustling from beneath a large container was accompanied by a scent that made his nose wrinkle. Max growled deep in his throat—the mean growl, not the playful one. Motion blurred ahead, and four furry creatures scampered out, smaller than Max but bigger than Rath. They had brown hair, sharp teeth, and whippy tails.

  “Enemies.” Max barked his agreement. The troll tightened his grasp on the collar and pulled one of the toothpicks from beneath the point where the bandoliers crossed on his back. “Charge.”

  The dog launched forward at the creatures, and the enemies scattered. Max turned quickly to follow one, and Rath released his collar. His momentum carried him to the ground, although he added several flips along the way for fun. He landed and held his spear in one hand to point it at the animal nearest him. He dropped his voice and rasped, “I’m your worst nightmare.”

  The rat charged. Rath held his position and waited for the perfect moment. As it snapped its wicked teeth at him, the troll vaulted forward in a flying somersault and stabbed his foe in the back with the spear. The toothpick broke. Half of it remained in the creature and the other half was still clutched in his hand when he landed. The creature hissed and ran. Rath nodded. “Cowards. One coward down.”

  A sharp yelp of pain caught his attention, and he turned as a rat slid down the alley wall Max had hurled him into. “Two down.”

  The dog barked and attacked the third, leaving Rath with the final one. It was more cautious and sidled in slowly. Its tail flicked along the ground and the troll beckoned with his weapon. Without warning, the creature launched forward at the last instant to attack his face, and Rath fell onto his back. The broken end of the toothpick jammed into the ground beside him. The rat scratched itself on the point as it tumbled past and it ran off into the distance on the heels of Max’s opponent. Rath discarded the spear, which had now lost its tip as well.

  The dog approached and lowered his nose. Rath patted it. “Max. Good. Good training. Go home.” He climbed into his riding position and tapped the dog, then heard something strange. “Max. Stay.” He leaned in the direction of the sound—a combination of moans and laughter. He had heard similar things in the movies on TV. He frowned.

  “Max. Go. Quiet.” The dog moved close to a wall and padded down the alley, blending into the shadows. On the far end, about three Max lengths back from another walking lane, a figure slumped on the ground. He had a blanket over him and wore a hat and gloves with holes in them. Two people stood over him. They were the ones laughing. One of them poked the man on the ground with his toe.

  “Max. Big enemy. Need strategy.” He whispered in the dog’s ear for half a minute. Finally, he was sure that his partner understood. He stood, secured his hold on the collar, and spread his legs wide. Ahead, one of the men spat on the slumped figure. “Loser. Scum. Give us whatever you’ve got.”

  Max charged and made no sound at all other than the rasp of his pads on the stone underfoot until they were close. Then, he barked and snarled, and the men turned in alarm.

  The troll released his hold on the collar, dashed up his brave steed’s head and onto his nose, and shouted, “Launch!”

  The dog jerked his head up and to the left, toward the nearer of two men, and angled at the other one. Rath drew his other spear from behind his back as he catapulted toward his target.

  The man’s eyes widened and he raised a hand to slap the troll away, but it was too late. His diminutive assailant landed on his shoulder and ran around to his back, using his victim’s hair to keep himself from falling.

  “Ow, what the hell?” the thug screamed. Rath smiled and checked on Max. He’d knocked his foe down onto his face, and stood on him, his teeth locked on the back of his neck. The man struggled and Max growled, tensed his jaw, and pushed the teeth in a little deeper. The man quit moving.

  “Coward,” Rath confirmed with a nod. The one he tormented now hopped around and swung his hands at where he felt Rath’s feet. The troll dodged them easily and used his acrobatic skills to climb and swing from the man’s hair until he was in the perfect position. With a battle scream, he vaulted upward to grabbed the man’s ear, used it to redirect himself, and channeled all his momentum into a stab with his toothpick. There was initial resistance, then none, and the man shrieked when the membrane broke inside his ear.

  Rath jumped to his target’s shoulder and ran across his back, planning to repeat the process on his other eardrum. The martial arts books Diana had provided had shown many vulnerable areas to attack. He was happy to see it was correct. The man turned toward the brightness at the end of the alley and fled. Rath bailed and landed on Max, then slithered to the ground and watched his adversary retreat. The other man, still trapped by the dog, whimpered.

  Cowards.

  The troll walked in front of him and the man gasped as Max reset his hold. He planted his feet directly before the man’s left eye and held his spear up. “You stop. Next time, get hurt bad.” He stared for several seconds to emphasize his point. “Get out.” Max released him, and the thug scrambled away.

  A trembling voice emerged from the bundle of rags. “Did I really see that?”

  Rath climbed back up Max’s fur. He nudged the dog toward the man on the ground, who now sat with his back against the wall and his eyes wide. “Max. Rath. Training.”

  He patted the dog, and they turned to retrace their steps. Behind them, the man called, “Thank you, little friend.”

  “Friend,” the troll shouted in response.

  They made it home without incident and, with some maneuvering, managed to lock the house again. Rath stowed his gear and cajoled Max into opening the fridge for him so he could get some pineapple juice, which was even more delicious than the orange kind. He rolled the can to the living room, stuck a straw inside, and slurped happily as he navigated through the movies on the TV. It was impossible to pass up a rewatch of Judge Dredd, and he hit the play button. The dog flopped onto the floor beside him, and Rath gave him an affectionate pat. “Rath. Max. We are the law.”

  When Diana returned home from her training, she found the two of them asleep. She smiled softly at the thought of them spending the day relaxing happily together.

  This is a good little family.

  Chapter Twenty-One

  Diana shrugged her purse higher on her shoulder as she slipped through the crowd at the Legal Beagle. It was busy, even for Friday, and required a goodly amount of ducking and weaving w
ith one hand guarding her bag. She caught the bartender’s eye, and the woman smiled. Julia was a self-proclaimed Capitol Hill washout, a student who had come to intern with a Congresswoman, became an aide, and soured on the whole process. The bar’s owner had promised her the opportunity to work toward a stake in the place, and she spent most of her waking hours there. It appeared to suit her if her constant smile was to be believed. The chipper brunette held a finger up and pointed toward the back of the bar. Diana turned, saw Lisa through a gap in the throng, and veered in that direction.

  Her friend looked even more attractive than usual in a black dress that showed her off to great advantage. Diana slid into the chair diagonal from her at the square table. “My, you’re a little overdressed, but I appreciate the effort. I’m honored.”

  Lisa laughed. “As if. This is only the warmup for the main event.”

  “A new flame?”

  She shook her head. “Steve continues to burn quite brightly. We’re going salsa dancing or something.”

  Diana grinned. “That’s a thing I would definitely like to see.”

  Her friend stuck her tongue out. “Maybe after I’ve done it for a decade or so, we can talk.”

  Diana’s drink arrived. She and Julia had an agreement that allowed the bartender to pick something she thought she would appreciate and in return, Diana wouldn’t complain too much about the occasional miss. She tasted the beer and smiled.

  Another definite hit.

  Lisa had an empty wine glass in front of her, and scarlet nails replaced it with a full one before Julia departed. Lisa took a sip, then lowered it and her face took on a slight frown. “That guy’s back.”

  Diana craned her neck as Bryant pulled the door closed behind him. She waved, and the motion caught his attention. He weaved toward them. “That guy is called Bryant, as you well know.”

  The other woman shrugged. “He still seems like a weirdo with the way he stared at us last time. I’m sticking with ‘that guy.’”

  She snorted. “I will admit he definitely gave off some predatory vibes at first. But he’s okay.”

  “I’ll be the judge of that.” Her face brightened, and she adopted a plastic smile. “Bryant, so good to see you again.”

  He took the chair across the table from her. “You as well, Lisa.”

  She sipped her wine and smiled sweetly. “Did you research me, too?”

  Bryant shot a look at Diana, who immediately found a reason to focus on her drink and stared at the grain of the table’s laminate top. “Only a little and only where your interactions with Diana were concerned. We didn’t invade your privacy nearly as much as we invaded hers.”

  Diana coughed into her beer and he laughed.

  Lisa shook her head. “Why are you here?” Diana shot her a look and hissed under her breath, but he only chuckled again.

  “Life isn’t all work. Sometimes, you have to have some fun, too.”

  From inside Diana’s purse, clearly audible despite the sounds in the bar, a small voice cheered, “Fun, too.”

  Lisa frowned and stared at her friend, who sighed and rolled her eyes. Bryant shook his head with an, “I told you so,” expression.

  Diana set her bag on her lap and shifted closer to Lisa. She opened it and stared down. “I cannot take you anywhere, Rath.” The other woman leaned forward, peered into the bag, and her eyes widened. Before she could speak, Diana touched her arm. “First, relax. Everything’s fine. Second, this is Rath. Obviously, he’s a troll. He…uh, adopted me.”

  Her friend looked up, an expression of shock on her face that would have been hilarious in a different situation. “Don’t you mean you adopted him?”

  Bryant laughed again, clearly enjoying Diana’s discomfort. “No, that is not at all what she means.”

  Rath waved at Lisa from the bag. Diana said, “Rath, Lisa. Lisa, Rath. Lisa is my best human friend.” The other woman’s lips quirked at the clarification, and Diana’s face grew a little heated. Bryant snorted, and she kicked him under the table.

  The troll sounded serious. “Lisa friend. Rath friend. Lisa and Rath friends.” He appeared thoughtful for a second and added, “And Max. Lisa and Rath and Max friends.”

  Lisa glanced up, although she tore her eyes away with a clear effort. “So, you run a hostel for wayward creatures, then?”

  Diana laughed. “I like to think of us more as a family, but it’s not an entirely incorrect description.”

  Bryant chose that moment to interject. “Why did you bring him? I bet you secretly wanted to reveal him to Lisa.”

  She shook her head. “He begged to come. I can only imagine what he would’ve done to the house if I’d refused. It turns out Max is more partner in crime than guardian.”

  Finally, Lisa seemed to recover her balance and grinned. She turned to Bryant. “So, are magical creatures standard issue? If so, I might think about joining up.”

  Bryant laughed at Lisa’s joke, half because it was funny and half out of politeness. The connection between the two women was so strong he felt like an outsider. It wasn’t surprising. Diana needed someone solid who would push her outside her comfort zone now and again, while Lisa needed someone steadfast to trust. They both had good reasons to be together.

  “While we do encounter magic on a fairly regular basis, this one is rare. By the time I realized what was going on, she’d already freed the little guy and it was all over.”

  Her friend looked curious but Diana waved it off. “A story for another day.”

  The waitress arrived, and Bryant pointed at Diana’s drink. “I’ll have what she’s having.” Lisa, whose glass was only half-empty, surprised him by speaking up. “Make that two. Steve should be here at any moment.”

  Diana’s head didn’t quite snap around to face Lisa, but there was surprise in the motion. “Steve is coming here?”

  She nodded. “I wanted him to have the chance to meet you. I didn’t know that Captain America there would be along, but the more the merrier, right?”

  Diana laughed at the joke, and Bryant added his own thin smile. While surprises didn’t necessarily bother him, he wasn’t really a fan of them, either. There wasn’t time to ruminate on it, though, because a guy who looked like he cared a little too much about his image arrived at the table and gave Lisa a kiss on the cheek. He was an inch or two over six feet, had blond hair and a close-trimmed beard, and wore a Nationals baseball cap he didn’t bother to remove.

  So, what he lacks in initial appeal he further lacks in class.

  The newcomer threw himself into the empty chair and stuck a hand out. “Steve.”

  Bryant shook it, and the other man squeezed a little more than necessary. The agent didn’t quite shoot him a dirty look but adjusted his expression to neutral. Steve repeated the process with Diana, and her dirty look wasn’t nearly so well hidden. She mastered it quickly and gave him a smile. “Steve, Lisa’s told me a little about you, but none of the good parts. What’s your deal?”

  He launched into a story about himself—something he seemed to enjoy if Bryant was any judge of character. While the man rabbited on, he took the opportunity to snap a picture with his phone and forwarded it to the base. Before Steve had finished his tale—which seemed to go on and on—he had the man’s details. These provided nothing of real interest. He did indeed work for a security firm as he claimed. Not one of the better ones, but not the sleaziest, either. Bryant stowed the phone back in his pocket.

  Steve turned to him. “Lisa tells me you and Diana work together—something governmental. What do you do?” The agent launched into the ARES cover story—a collective of otherwise independent analysts who consulted on a variety of security issues. The other man gave him a superior smile. “Maybe my firm will hire yours sometime, although we have the best of the best when it comes to that area.”

  Bryant rewarded him with another thin smile. A tray fell with a loud clang and the table’s worth of glasses it had carried shattered noisily. Diana started but mastered herself qui
ckly. None of the others reacted. It was an expected sound in the place.

  The agent watched her closely. She closed her eyes once, then opened them again. A hand disappeared into her bag, presumably to give or draw comfort from the troll. As a matter of course, they had hacked her therapists’ records, so he knew about her PTSD and how she coped with it—quite well, in his estimation. He felt a twinge of pain on her behalf and wondered what it would be like to face that level of alarm to ordinary occurrences, not to mention magic. In discussions about adding her to the team, her potential issues with magic as a result of the incident were a primary concern. However, he and the others who believed she’d shown the aptitude to handle it won out.

  He tuned back into the conversation in time to hear Steve say, “Lisa, you look amazing. Every man in the place will envy my prize.”

  Her grin turned down somewhat, and Bryant sensed Diana react. He pushed down his own desire to explain to Steve how one ought to treat a partner. She gave the man a fake smile and said, “No question, Lisa is usually the focus of attention. Some of her dates find that a difficult to handle. It takes someone truly comfortable with themselves to avoid being petty.”

  The verbal slap was delivered with no emotion, but it still hit home. Steve bristled and seemed about to reply when Lisa put her hand on his. “Finish up, Romeo. It’s time to move. I need to get my dance on.”

  Diana’s gritted her teeth so hard they hurt.

  Asshole. Lisa needs better taste in men.

  As her friend rose, she touched her arm. “I could probably handle some dancing. Do you want Bryant and I to join you?”

  Lisa smiled and shook her head. “Three’s a crowd, and four is a downright disaster on a date.”

  The agent laughed. “Never heard of double dating?”

  She turned to him and gave him a real grin. “Listen, I know. How could you not be interested in all this?” She gestured down her body. “But you’ll have to content yourself with Diana.” She yelped as the other woman’s foot connected with her ankle.