by Nancy Madore
Now it was Carol’s turn to watch in admiration as Harvey undressed for her. She stared at his strong, muscular body, enthralled, but was suddenly frightened when he came to remove his boxer shorts. She stopped him before he could do so, gently guiding him to sit on the bed. Then she sat on his lap, bare bottomed, taking his hand and pressing it between her legs, eager to have him touch her there and admire how pretty it was, and how ready she was for him. She couldn’t wait to experience firsthand how it felt to be cherished and loved—truly loved—by the man of her dreams. But also she felt strangely timid; trembling and terribly vulnerable. She allowed herself to feel all these emotions, confident that she, as Carol, would be able to get what she wanted from her own dear, sweet Harvey. She knew he would never hurt her. She was amazed that any woman would take such a man for granted.
Harvey seemed to be dealing with his own set of emotions. He was surprised and delighted by this new behavior in his wife, though he had already begun to realize that things were improved between them since the accident. Still, it was as if all the years of trying to get close to Carol had finally led to this long-awaited moment. He could clearly see her need and vulnerability as she came to him now, completely unguarded and without the haughtily teasing manner she used to approach him with, and he suddenly realized how much he needed to have her come to him like this and how much it strengthened the bond that had been building through the long years of yearning and waiting and hoping. He had loved her through it all; now his heart seemed to be filling for her all over again. He took her in his arms, being especially gentle with her at first, but through her eager encouragement becoming more urgent also.
The first thing Carol was conscious of as she curled up next to Harvey was his incredible warmth. It drew her toward him instinctually, and she settled contentedly within the protective curve of his body. The heady pleasure of it stunned her momentarily. She had imagined his embrace hundreds of times, and yet, she had never been able to come close to bringing together all of the incredible aspects of its reality. The heat radiating from his body acted like a magnet to her cool skin. Reflexively her hands moved over him in an effort to capture some of it through her fingertips. For her, his warmth underscored his gentle strength and innate kindness. The former Carol had often mistaken Harvey’s kindness for weakness. Not so with her. She found it almost unbearably attractive, especially when combined with his gentleness, which was made all the more exquisite by his hard, sinewy body. She fought the overwhelming emotions that assailed her and tried to concentrate only on the feel of his warm skin beneath her fingertips. Her cravings of a lifetime had not even begun to be fulfilled and yet, it was already almost too much for her to take. She felt like a starving person who suddenly eats too much too quickly. The sudden overabundance caused her to feel slightly sick. She tried to quiet herself by slowing all of her movements. Harvey, seemingly aware of her anxiety, simply held her tenderly, allowing her to set the pace.
When she had gained control of her emotions, Carol turned her face up toward Harvey’s and his lips immediately came down over hers in an all-encompassing kiss. She had known it would be like that, so all at once gentle and passionate. She whimpered faintly as his tongue, soft and wet and warm, took possession of her mouth. His breath was sweet; his lips tender and demanding. Her arms went around his neck and she pressed her body closer to his. Once again she was staggered by the heat penetrating off of him. She reveled in the way it felt to move her body alongside his. She pressed her breasts hard against his chest, holding him tighter in her arms, and moving her hips forward to rub against the hard length of him. There was a fullness bearing down deep within her womb that diverted her attention from everything but Harvey. Her desire was almost too strong for her to bear, and she repeatedly reminded herself that she was here to stay, forever. Harvey continued to kiss her leisurely and passionately while she moved her body sensually against him. His hands caressed her face, moving along her jawline and lightly rubbing her neck in a possessive embrace that left her feeling giddy and weak. She felt so desirable—and so much desire! Her breasts felt full and weighty as she moved them against his muscular chest. Harvey kissed her tirelessly, perhaps realizing that she would not be able to bear it if he stopped. When at last he did pull his lips away from hers, he looked hard and deep into her eyes, as if searching for something he’d missed before. She stared back at him helplessly, wondering if he saw the intense passion she felt there. She noticed the clear surprise in his expression, and she suddenly knew for certain that Carol had never really loved him.
“It’s been so long,” he whispered. She closed her eyes, fully enthralled by the sound of his voice. How lovely it was, more pleasing than any other she had heard before. Once again she felt surprised delight that she was really here with him, and that his soft, husky voice was addressing her. How utterly exquisite it was to have entitlement to him as his wife. Had she been born in this body she doubted she would have known how to bring this about; but she was here now and it had all been brought about for her. Each and every night, from this day forward, Harvey would walk through the front door of their house and come home to her. She could make whatever she wished of it. She could grow bored and lazy, as so many women did, or she could make an effort to nourish the rich bounty of feelings that existed between her and Harvey, keeping them alive and healthy. It was so remarkably easy. Strange that so many women should work so hard to escape this. Her decision had been made in an instant, although the desire and longing had been with her for as long as she could remember. The opportunity, when presented, made everything strikingly clear. All the anger and struggling and hopelessness; it all amounted to no more than simple frustration over her inability to have what she wanted. To complain was infinitely easier than to work for the things one wanted and needed, but it offered none of the satisfaction. If she and Harvey grew indifferent this time around, it would not be her actions that brought it about.
But she knew somehow that it would never be that way between them again. Harvey had remained loyal to Carol for this long in spite of everything, and there was no reason to fear that that would ever change.
Carol was now ready to embrace all the things that had overwhelmed or frightened her before, but she still forced herself to take it slow. Her fingers inched their way beneath the waistband of Harvey’s boxer shorts. She was anxious all at once to get her hands around him, curious to know fully the most intimate details of the bargain she had made. Her fingers felt around greedily for him, quickly locating and then wrapping themselves about his solid thickness. She was pleased and delighted by what she found. Best of all was his irrefutable hardness; proof of his desire for her and promise of the pleasure he would give her. She ran her fingers all along the length of him, discovering him through her sense of touch, and then slowly and affectionately began to stroke him. She could hardly wait to feel him inside her, and she shivered suddenly as a sharp thrill ripped through her at the thought.
Harvey moaned over the pleasure Carol was giving him with her hand. He kissed her again and this time his hands simultaneously began to roam over the luscious curves of her body. She trembled with anticipation as his fingers traveled ever so gently and unhurriedly along the flesh of her inner thigh. She wanted to take in and set to memory every interchange and sensation, but there were suddenly too many to note. Harvey’s tongue was mingling with hers in a deep kiss as his fingers at last reached the top of her thigh and lightly brushed across the lips of her labia. Up and down, and back and forth, his fingers struck gently and persistently over her distended flesh, teasing her, until the little lips parted for him and he was at last inside, sinking into her wetness. They both moaned over the feel of his touch to her silky desire, each breathing in the other’s breath.
Harvey became impassioned all of a sudden, and it seemed that his hands were everywhere at once. Where Harvey’s seductive tenderness had warmed Carol before, his aggressiveness now lit her on fire. She wrapped her arms around his neck and opened
her legs wide to him, signaling her surrender and readiness for him. She wanted him inside her.
But Harvey surprised her by holding back still, no doubt with the desire to prolong their time of pleasure. He lingered untiringly over her body, not only using his hands to explore every part of her but also now employing his lips and tongue, pausing with dramatic effect to kiss or lick some part of her perfumed body. He kissed the tip of one breast and leisurely curled his tongue around the nipple before slipping lower and pressing his tongue into the cleft of her navel. Continuing down at a painfully slow pace, he leaned in between her legs, kissing her inner thighs lovingly and murmuring huskily, “I want to taste you first.”
His words sent little ripples of pleasure pulsing through her. Her legs trembled uncontrollably as he moved between them, and her whole body jolted when his lips touched down. He only kissed her tenderly first, intimately, and then when she was certain she could bear it no longer he began licking up and down the length of her, running his tongue along her slit until her lips parted and opened to him. Carol clenched her hands, grasping the sheets on either side of her, and shut her eyes tight. Harvey’s tongue seemed at first abrasive to the delicate skin of her inner flesh. As he delved deeper into her she could feel the stiff coarseness of his facial hair on her sensitive inner thighs. Oblivious to the mild abrasiveness of his advances or how they were further inflaming her, Harvey continued to devour Carol with enthusiasm. She clung to the bedsheets perilously, admonishing herself all the while that she must not think of anything but what he was doing to her; she must let herself feel it. In her mind’s eye she visualized Harvey’s beautiful face settled determinedly between her legs, and imagined seeing each individual action as he performed it. She pictured his mouth, so full and sensual, often with a hint of humor playing at the corners, but serious now as it kissed and licked and nipped at her, bringing her pleasure even while it subdued her. She wished it would go on forever, or at least until she could become accustomed to the sheer wondrousness of having Harvey loving her this way. Perhaps in time she would be able to have him thus without the excruciating exhilaration that distracted and ruffled her so much that it inhibited her ability to find satisfaction. Harvey seemed to sense her quandary, and so he took his time, sucking and pulling at her labia insistently while massaging her clitoris with his tongue, gently coaxing and coercing her arousal to the fore. Her sex quivered and contracted for him, and before long her hips were rocking back and forth wildly against his face, until Harvey decided he could wait no longer.
Harvey rose up over Carol, pulling her legs up and apart as he positioned himself in between. She looked up into his face with wonder, still not quite able to believe that she was with him and that in the next moment he would be inside her. The seconds seemed interminable as she waited breathlessly. Harvey tormented her further by holding back the moment of entry to slide the tip of his hardness up and down along the length of her opening. As he did this he closed his eyes, seeming to revel in the exquisite feeling of her warm and silky-smooth wetness on his sensitive skin, and building up both of their passions to overflowing. The throbbing arousal within them had progressed to the point that it had become achingly acute, causing sharp little stings of desire to pierce their swollen tissue. Carol’s hips moved up and down as she waited for the moment when Harvey would come into her. And when the moment finally came, Harvey thrust himself into her with gusto, causing both of them to cry out. Carol could feel her engorged flesh clinging and grasping at Harvey’s shaft as he pushed himself in and out of her. His delay in penetrating her had enhanced their pleasure to such a degree that, instead of merely feeling Harvey’s thrusts, Carol could actually feel the friction all along her inflamed insides. She began to drown in the incredible sensations that rushed over her. Harvey leaned down to gently kiss her, barely grazing his lips over hers. The soft brush of his lips and breath against her face was so tenderly poignant that, for one instant, she was immobilized and unaware of anything but Harvey. There was an intimacy to the moment that she had never dared dream of experiencing. To her, Harvey’s unconscious acts of tenderness were far more intimate than anything he could do to her body.
Carol moved her hips against Harvey’s aggressively. She was torn between the desire to seek out her release and delay it. As powerful as the building tide of pleasure within her was, she longed to linger in the moment and savor every minute detail. She wished she could preserve the memories of each and every movement and gesture for eternity, to treasure like little keepsakes that she could call upon in times of need. She had learned through painful experience that genuine pleasure was hard won and often didn’t last. She would not allow herself to take Harvey for granted, even though he had already proved he would endure much. She did not trust that part of her former self that was still within her. Her insecurities caused her mind to keep leaping greedily at the future, wondering over things that she could not at the moment foresee or control. She hungered for Harvey with an intensity that teetered on possessiveness. She wanted to capture and keep every aspect of him within her. She wished she could crawl inside him and stay there. But these thoughts spoiled the mood and inhibited satisfaction, so she struggled to enjoy the here and now, and leave thoughts and plans for the future for another time. Harvey—wonderful, warm, loving Harvey—was here, inside her, and his every thought was of her in this moment. This moment, at least, she could take him to her as fiercely as she pleased.
Carol clasped her arms and legs more tightly around Harvey and pulled his face toward hers, slipping her tongue into his warm, inviting mouth. It thrilled her to note his immediate response to her every single action. He felt her urgency and immediately responded in kind, picking up the pace and increasing the intensity of his thrusts. She gyrated her hips frantically against him, bringing about a delightful friction for her sensitive clitoris each time it came in contact with Harvey’s body. Harvey realized why she was moving in this way and kept his own movements light and steady so as not to distract her. Carol was again delighted by his lovemaking, recalling how less knowledgeable lovers from her past had mistaken her movements for something else, interrupting and thwarting her satisfaction in their impatience to reach their own. Unlike them, Harvey—wise, considerate Harvey—allowed her to set the pace, patiently waiting for her to be satisfied. In fact, he set out to help her along by moving his hands over her body, turning even the most nonsensual parts of her into erogenous zones. With this encouragement from Harvey, Carol was able to go deeper and deeper into herself as she continued her rigorous movements single-mindedly. She rocked her hips up and down in just the way that felt best, faster and faster and with more and more force until at last the delectable little waves rolled over her, again and again, making her entire body quake and jerk. It was the first time she had ever achieved this satisfaction with a man inside her.
Harvey, who had up until now been satisfied to take only as much pleasure as it would assist Carol’s pleasure to take, was suddenly overcome with a violent lust. Carol’s body had become even more softened and enticing from her climax, and her inner walls clung to him persuasively as he moved in and out of her. Even so, he held back and slowed his movements for as long as he could, luxuriating in the soft, clingy feel of her, and then gradually quickened his pace, giving himself over completely to his passion.
Now it was Carol who ran her hands over Harvey’s body while opening herself even more fully to his vigorous thrusts. She lovingly coaxed and cajoled him as he got his satisfaction from her. When he released himself into her she felt her heart soar with delight from the thrill of it. She could have wept, but instead pulled him close to her and held him almost violently. He did not pull away, staying willingly in her embrace.
After a moment, Harvey leaned up on one elbow to examine Carol’s face. His expression was pleased, but slightly puzzled, and she smiled at him, genuinely happy for the first time in her life. His look told her clearly that it had never been this good between them before. She told herself
that it was better now because he was with her, the new and improved Carol. The Carol she always should have been. She could not resist reaching her hand out and tenderly touching his face. He kissed her then and she could feel his happiness, too. How easy it was to please a man who loved you. How impossible to please one who didn’t. But she reminded herself that she would never have to think about those men again.
Harvey rolled off Carol’s body eventually, and she was aware of the cold air all around her. But he did not go far, and when she moved toward him he took her to him, curling his body around hers and embracing her with his arms held tightly around her, holding her close.
“Are you sure you want me to stay with you all night?” he asked her. The question shocked her. How could Carol have ever allowed him to leave her bed?
“Quite sure,” she told him adamantly. She did not explain that she could not bear it if he left her after what they had just shared. She tried not to think about the many men who had roused themselves from her bed after intimacies in the past. She snuggled up against Harvey, knowing that she would never wish to sleep alone without him again.
Carol was too excited to sleep, but she lay contentedly in Harvey’s embrace, thinking about all that had happened and trying to accept her incredible new life. In a little while Harvey began snoring. It made her smile. The sounds of his breathing were loud but repetitive and steady, and for some reason they brought tears to her eyes.
Always a bridesmaid, never a bride, the old saying came to her mind. She had thought of it countless times but this was the first time it made her laugh; for this night was, for her, the true equivalent of a wedding night. Surely no bride had ever begun her life so optimistically, or so blissfully. She longed for morning to come so that she could get on with her life with Harvey. Enough of sleeping and waiting; she wanted to live her life! She fell asleep with the tears still on her cheeks, lulled by Harvey’s hearty snores into a deep and peaceful slumber.