Stargaze: Half Light

by Alyssa Rose Ivy

  I searched the floors and the walls but found nothing Lexa at all.

  I was close to giving up and returning to the remains of the Fleshard I’d found when I heard the sound of boots on the stairs. I have never understood why the people of Earth didn’t soundproof their floors, but it was very useful in times like this.

  I spun toward the door just in time to watch Kelby stroll through. He grinned and stopped a few feet from me. “I thought I’d find you here.”

  I readied myself for a fight. “Where is she?”

  “Shouldn’t you know? You are the one who knocked me out and stole my capsule.” He rolled his shoulders back in a far too relaxed way considering the situation. “What’s the problem? You couldn’t do it any better than me after all?”

  “Where is she?” I had only one thing on my mind. Once I was reunited with Rachel I could worry about everything else.

  “You have my watch. How much more do you think I know?”

  “You know more. You took her. Take me to her now.” Rage bubbled up inside me.

  “You are angry and delusional right now. Eventually you’ll understand who the real enemy is.”

  “Anyone who keeps me from Rachel is the real enemy.” I tried to bide my time. If I attacked him I might not be able to get the information I needed. For all I knew she was in significant danger. I had to tread carefully.

  “And have I kept you from her?” He took a single step back.

  “Where is she? Why was her watch left here unattended?” I held up her watch as evidence.

  “I stand right here with you, and you think I have her hidden?” He spread his arms out wide. “Is that right? I left her out of sight? Do you think I’d be so reckless?”

  “You know where she is. Whether you were the one to take her or not, you were involved. I know it.”

  “Oh?” He opened and closed his fist. “Wasn’t I sent by your father? Shouldn’t that put you at ease?”

  “Where is she?” I was running out of patience.

  “She is safe.” He put his hands out in front of him. “I believe.”

  “You believe? You think that is enough?” Anger made way for worry. Panic.

  He remained calm. “She is safer here than she was on Andrelexa.”

  “How could you believe that?” I watched the doorway, waiting for someone else to appear. There was no way Kelby was working alone, but something was wrong. Horribly wrong.

  “Could you stop being blind for one moment?”

  “You think I’m the one who’s blind? Whose orders are you following?” Had he truly gone rogue? He knew the punishment for that was death.

  “The important thing is whose orders I am no longer following.”

  “What my father did was wrong.” There was no denying it. She wouldn’t have run if he hadn’t spent years feeding her modifiers. She would have loved me anyway. I kept trying to convince myself of that.

  “Wrong? You think that word can describe what he’s been doing?”

  “We don’t have time for this. Where is Rachel?”

  “Calm down, Caspian.”

  “Don’t tell me to calm down.” I felt the rage grow and spread throughout my body.

  “You’ll never see her again if you don’t.” His expression hadn’t changed. He was still so unconcerned and emotionless.

  I was tired of being surrounded by those who didn’t care. “She’s mine. You can’t keep her from me.” Maybe being forced to make her my life mate quickly was a good thing. It gave me protection—it gave me control.

  “She’s yours on Andrelexa. She’s not yours here.”

  “Who else is to tell me who is mine or not?” Kelby was sworn to listen to me. I had to remember that. He could claim what he wanted, but he wasn’t ready to die.

  “Are you listening to yourself at all?” He stared at me as if eyeing a stranger.

  “She’s in danger. We need to find her. Now.”

  “I agree with that statement, but I can’t let you see her unless I know you can be trusted.”

  “You are the one who can’t be trusted. You have strayed from your oath to the Emperor.”

  “And if you don’t stray from your own oath, I will make sure you never lay eyes on her again.”

  “Take me to her now.” I was on the verge of losing control. I needed to see her.

  “Not until you hear me out.” A small flicker of anger twitched inside his eyes. “Rachel made her own decision to leave. Did I push her toward that decision? Yes. But only because I gave her accurate information.”

  “Accurate information?” Seeing Kelby feel something relaxed me some. Maybe I could use it to my advantage. “What did you tell her?”

  “Only what I knew your father would do if she didn’t play into his plans.”

  “What are you talking about?” I tensed.

  “That he’d kill her.”

  I didn’t think. Anger surged through me, and I lunged at him, shoving him across the room. He crashed into the wall but quickly righted himself.

  “Stop it! I am not the enemy. Your father is. The sooner you accept that, the sooner you have a chance of seeing her again.”

  I crossed the room. “You will take me to her now.”

  “Or what?” He shrugged. “You’ll kill me? How will you find her then? You know I am trained to handle any amount of pain. I won’t give up anything that way.”

  “I need to see her.” I was sure my desperation was clear in my voice, and I didn’t care.

  “If you want to see her, step back and calm down.”

  “You speak as though you have the right to decide who she sees.”

  “Rachel deserves more than a life as a prisoner.”

  “And being with me would be that sort of life? She’d be life mate to the Emperor. She is life mate to the heir.” She ran because she was confused and afraid. She didn’t need to be. I’d take care of everything.

  Kelby shook his head. “As if your father will ever hand over the reins to a son who doesn’t follow his every wish.”

  “He will because he has to.”

  “When has your father ever done something he doesn’t want to do?”

  “I’m angrier at him than I’ve ever been in my life. What he did to her with the modifiers…” I still couldn’t believe he’d done that behind my back for so long.

  “The modifiers? Do you think that’s the worst of it?”

  “What are you suggesting?”

  “He brought her there to control you. Don’t you get it?” Kelby wrung his hands. “I am so sick of your inability to look beyond. One would think with all your emotional capacity you would seek answers. Instead, you accept the status quo.”

  “I am done with these games, Kelby.” I could feel the bitter taste of my anger again. “Where is she? I demand to know now.”

  “And I can’t tell you unless you calm down.”

  “Why will my calming down help?”

  “Because I need to make sure we’re on the same side here.”

  “Any side that involves what’s best for Rachel is the side I’m on.”

  “And who decides what’s best for her?”

  I almost said I did, but I stopped myself. That wasn’t the truth whether I wanted it to be or not. “She does.”

  Kelby smiled. “That’s more like it.”

  “Where is she?”

  “I need you to hand over all three watches before I say anything.”

  “You must be kidding.”

  “Not at all. You want to see Rachel, you hand them over. And we don’t have time to waste. She may be long gone if we don’t act now.”

  I knew this could be a trap. “Handing over my watch means I’m stuck. You know I can’t do that.”

  “You have to decide if Rachel is worth that risk.”

  “That’s not fair.” Rachel was worth anything, but I couldn’t be stupid.

  “Is anything fair?”

  “You will be caught if this is a trap.” I had no doubt my fath
er was already aware of where we were.

  “It’s not a trap.”

  Despite my misgivings, I handed over his watch as well as Rachel’s.

  “And yours too.”

  I hesitated for just a few moments. But then I thought of her. Rachel. What if she was truly in danger? I’d find another way home. I removed my watch. “You will take me to her.”

  “I will do my best.” He accepted the watch. “But remember you are not in charge here.”

  “You act as though I’ve ever been in charge.”

  “Maybe you are starting to see things clearly.”

  Chapter 5

  Caspian

  Three weeks earlier

  “It is time, son. You cannot put this off any longer.” My father sat on the throne while I stood before him.

  “Things such as this cannot be rushed.” I’d wait forever for her if I had to. Why couldn’t he understand? We were still so young. We had time.

  “Rushed? She is already eighteen. How much longer do you plan to wait?”

  “She’s of Earth.” Even though I forgot that sometimes. The two of us were so connected.

  “And your point? She’s been physically ready for years. Even accounting for differences in our people, it is time.”

  “But she’s not ready. She’s told me she wants to wait.”

  “Is Rachel about to become heir to the throne?”

  “No.” Even though she’d be with me every step of the way.

  “Then why should she be the one making the decisions?” He sat forward in the chair. “Unless you are incapable of making your own. In that case I will make the decisions for you.”

  “I am perfectly capable of making decisions.” I straightened up to my full height. I would not let my father question my abilities.

  “Then make it. Time is running out.” His eyes were dark. He’d recently taken a modifier. I was sure of it.

  “I’ll do it during my ceremony.” The idea came to me quickly. “That way I don’t have to call a separate event. She may be more comfortable if she isn’t the only one in the center of attention.” I still had to come up with a way to break it to her. I hated pushing her. She wanted to be with me. That wasn’t the problem.

  “She is going to have to get used to being watched.”

  “She will.” Because we’d do it together. She was always more comfortable that way. She hated facing crowds alone, which she’d occasionally had to do lately when I was off-planet. The older we got, the harder it was to protect her from palace events.

  “Don’t tell her.”

  “Don’t tell her what?”

  “When you plan to do it.”

  “Are you suggesting I surprise her?” I froze. I had to be misinterpreting him.

  “It’s more than a suggestion. Why needlessly worry her? You know she will build it up and look for a way to give herself more time. But for what reason? What time could she possibly want unless she is waiting to see her other options.”

  An unfamiliar feeling shot through me. Jealousy as hot as flames. “She would never select another. She declared herself years ago.”

  “Yet nothing is cemented until she wears the family medallion. You are best to remember that.”

  “She’s going to be angry.”

  “What are you going to be if you don’t have her?”

  “She’s not going to choose another.” The jealous thoughts disappeared, and I was able to think clearly. He was trying to manipulate me. I had to keep my head clear.

  “Yes, but you will.”

  “I could never.”

  “You have until the ceremony. If you don’t she will be leaving the palace and I will find you another life mate.”

  “No. You can’t do that.” Living without Rachel was an impossibility.

  “I am the Emperor, Caspian. What can’t I do?”

  My hands balled into fists at my sides.

  “Take that anger out of the throne room. I will have none of this. Pull yourself together and stop humiliating me. This deadline is final.”

  “Yes, father.” I gave in to the one man who held power over me. But not forever. Eventually it would be my turn.

  * * *

  I blinked, pushing off the memory. It wasn’t often I fell into dreams like that—exact repetitions of previous events—but it was another one of my abnormalities. Something else that set me apart from the rest of my people.

  “Good. You’re awake. I was beginning to think I messed up.” Kelby’s voice came from behind me.

  I looked over my shoulder. He watched while leaning on a flight console. A flight console? I jumped to my feet. “Where are we? What happened?”

  “I had to numb your senses. It was the only way.”

  “The only way to what?” I rubbed the back of my neck. There was a dull ache. I touched something sticky. I brought my fingers back around to the front. Blood. My blood?

  “Get you off Earth without your father knowing.”

  “Explain yourself.” I showed him my bloody hand.

  “Sorry about that. I ran out of time and couldn’t finish stitching the wound.” He tossed me a towel. “It will close up on its own soon.”

  “Why do I have a wound?”

  “Your father was keeping his eye on you.”

  “In what way?” Had my father’s deceptions gone even farther than I knew?

  “In this way.” Kelby held up a small piece of metal.

  “A chip?” I started to put things together. “He was tracking me with a chip?”

  “Are you really surprised?”

  “Yes.” Of all the awful things my father had done… this was the most shocking. But not the worst. What he did to Rachel with the modifiers was far worse. “I need to see Rachel.”

  I applied the towel to the wound. That tracker had really been there. “Unbelievable.”

  “If you want to see her you’re going to have to put on these.” He held out a pair of handcuffs.

  I laughed dryly. “You must be joking.”

  “Does it sound as if I’m joking?”

  “There is no way I’m wearing those.”

  “Then I can’t take you. There is no chance I can walk onto their ship with you free.”

  “Why not?” I removed the towel. The small amount of pressure had likely been enough. I touched the spot again and my hand was clean.

  “Because you are going to be viewed as the enemy until you prove yourself to the contrary.”

  “The enemy?” I startled. “Who is she with? I need to know.”

  “Telton.”

  “Telton? The head of the Explorers has been working against my father?” I tried to process yet another surprising piece of information. “For how long?”

  “I’ll let you discuss that with him yourself. Are you ready?”

  I wanted to argue and demand answers, but reuniting with Rachel took precedence over anything. “Must I really wear cuffs?”

  “You know you can break them if you really want to. Don’t be so overly dramatic. There is no point.”

  “Overly dramatic?” I spit out. “Because I don’t want to be restrained?”

  “Are you ready to see Rachel, or not?”

  “Of course I am.” I held out my hands. “I will get you back for all this.”

  “You should be thanking me.”

  “Thanking you?”

  “If it was up to her she’d never see you again.” As usual his expression was unreadable.

  I decided to face my fear. “She said that?”

  “No… but Telton is in charge.”

  “She must blame him too. He lied to her. He’s the one who took her away.”

  “Calm down. You’re getting yourself all worked up again.”

  “Take me to her.” I gritted my teeth.

  “I’m working on it.” He clasped the handcuffs. “If anyone from back home could see this.”

  Part 3

  Rachel

  6 Rachel

  My head was sp
inning. It was spinning out of control, and I knew there was absolutely nothing I could do to stop it. Everyone I’d once trusted had failed me, and I was left hanging onto any thread of normalcy I could find. Then I had to go and ruin Noah’s life too. He was the nicest person I’d ever met. He excited me yet calmed me at the same time. He had eyes I could get lost in. Hands I wanted everywhere, and lips I couldn’t get out of my head. Yet I’d allowed him to follow me onto Telton’s ship going who knew where. I didn’t deserve him in my life, but it was a little bit too late to be making that realization. The only thing I could do is do everything in my power to make sure he and his friends and family stayed safe.

  The sitting room felt so much smaller than it had before. All of the initial relief and excitement had worn off for the others, and full on guilt had set in for me.

  I looked at Noah. It was strange seeing him in Andrelexa clothing. Everyone had changed—and it made sense. Tolten didn’t have anything else on board, but I secretly missed the way Noah looked in his regular clothes. I liked the way his t-shirt fit when he moved his arms, and the way his pants hung on him. I kept those thoughts to myself. I was already unsure of how to behave, and I didn’t need to bring more attention to how out of touch I was with Earth things.

  He caught me staring at him and smiled. It was such a real and genuine smile. I could feel it, a warmth that brought me back to life. I never wanted him to lose that smile. And that’s why of all the awful possibilities about what could happen, the one that scared me the most was Noah meeting Caspian. Even with the modifiers I’d known Caspian was protective. I couldn’t imagine what he’d do if he knew I held intense feelings for someone else.

  But I couldn’t let that scare me. I couldn’t change the way I felt, and considering he’d already followed me onto the ship, trying to push Noah away in order to protect him would be a slap in the face.

  I’d had one heck of a slap in the face the past few days, and I refused to do that to him. I had been truthful when I told Angie I never wanted to hurt him.