by K E Osborn
She still wants me.
I know she does.
It’s only a matter of time before we end up back together. I can feel it in my bones. The night is drawing to an end, and I notice Nate has been gone for a while, but I take no heed in that, all I really want to do is find Lunar and finally talk to her about coming back on tour. I make my way down the hall to see if I can find her, she isn’t in the ballroom, so I figure she might be in the restrooms. As I make my way down the dimly lit corridor, I notice a man standing in front of a woman with a bright pink dress on. I freeze as both figures are instantly recognizable. The woman is Lunar and the man is Nate. They’re talking in close proximity. There’s tension in the air, but I’m not close enough to hear what they’re saying to each other.
Then, time stands still and my heart leaps into my throat when I witness Nate lean forward pressing his lips to Lunar’s. Her hands come up to his chest and that’s all I need to see. My stomach lurches as and I turn, stumbling, around the corner trying to catch my breath.
My band mate and my girl?
My chest heaves so violently I want to be sick. I thought I was going to reconcile with Lunar, but instead, she’s making out with Nate? My head’s spinning and I can’t walk fast enough as I race away from the scene of my fucking betrayal. My heart is breaking, and I have no idea how I couldn’t have seen this coming. I knew Nate liked her or was at least pretending to like her, but I had no idea Lunar was falling for it. I stumble to the bar, the shine of the black counter illuminates the rows and rows of sparkling glasses hanging from the glass rack suspended from the ceiling. This place is so perfect and beautiful, it’s making it even harder to stomach.
The barman looks my way and winces. “You okay, mate?”
“Just saw my girl hooking up with my friend. I need a drink,” I admit.
He nods and turns around grabbing a short glass, placing in a couple of cubes of ice and then pouring in three fingers of whiskey.
“Sorry man, this one’s on the house.” He slides the glass over. I nod a thank you, picking up the glass and downing the burning hot liquid in one go. It scorches my throat and I don’t give a shit. I need to get wasted and it needs to happen now.
“So, we’re getting drunk?” a soft voice echoes from beside me.
I turn to see the little blonde beside me. “Effa?” I ask and she smiles.
“Hey, didn’t know I was here, did ya? Too busy making googlies at Lunar all night.”
I cringe and hit the bar for another drink. The bartender understands and starts pouring another.
“So, something’s gone wrong? Wanna talk about it?” she asks as she picks up a glass of champagne with a strawberry floating on the top.
“No, I wanna get smashed.”
“I can help with that. How ‘bout we go back to the hotel and get drunk there?” She smiles clinking her glass to mine. I nod and take another long swig and looking at Effa and thinking how pretty she looks tonight.
The gala is drawing to a close, everyone is filing out and it was a raging success. All the auction items were sold for higher bids than we’d originally thought they would fetch, and donations came in hot and strong. Seems that the story of what happened with Stuart at the airport has turned popular opinion my way. Instead of being portrayed as some sort of horrible person with no morals, people saw me as a real woman trying to protect and provide for my family. It didn’t happen overnight, but regardless of how it has happened, I’m happy that it did. It’s actually nice to not be painted a villain in people’s eyes anymore. Things seem to be sorting themselves out now, and maybe I can take over the reins of the foundation again.
Luke has even contacted me and said I’m free to come back, but I want to hear it from Danger, I want to hear that he wants me back.
Things with him are weird, and I know that it’s my fault. I distanced myself from him and the band for their protection, and I shouldn’t have done that. Now there’s a weird barrier between us. An unknown on whether he wants things to go back to the way they were. I know I do. I miss the band so much. I miss Danger even more, and all I want is to be back on tour with them and helping with everything while running the foundation from the road. Now the gala is over and I won’t have it to occupy my mind, I’m scared I’m going to fall into a heap and lose myself.
So I go in search of him to try and make things right. But as I explore the emptying hallway, I can’t see him anywhere. He must have left already, which sucks because he left without saying goodbye. I guess I may have been busy at the time that he wanted to leave. Let’s face it, I’ve been occupied most of the night. However, I know we’re staying in the same hotel, so I’ll try to search him out in the morning.
After a very restless sleep fighting the urge to call Danger and have my chat with him last night, it’s now morning and I can’t wait any longer. I get up, get dressed in something casual but still sexy enough for him not to be able to resist me, and I make my way up to the top floor. Not really sure what I’m looking for as I have no idea what room number he’s in, but once I get up there I can always call him. The escalator chimes, and as I go to step out Ryan is standing at the door waiting to get in. His eyes open wide and I race out into his arms giving him a great big hug that I missed out on giving him last night.
“Hey, it’s so good to see you!” I let out as he holds me back tightly.
“It’s so good to see you. What are you doing up here? Did Danger call you?” he asks pulling me back.
I shake my head. “No. I came up here to look for him, but then I realized I have no idea on his room number. I haven’t really thought this through,” I admit, and he smiles.
“Well, lucky for you I know his room number then. And not only that… I have a spare key!” He reaches into his pocket and pulls out his wallet.
“I can’t just walk in there.”
“Yes, you can! Surprise him. I’m sure he’s hungover. Go in and make him feel better with your wonderful powers of pussy persuasion.”
Rolling my eyes as he hands me the key card, I look down to see the number on it and chew on my bottom lip.
“Are you sure I should just let myself in?”
Ryan nods. “Lunar, you and Danger are meant to be together. Go and fix this between you two. Please… for the love of God.” He turns me, pushing me toward the hall and I giggle looking back at him.
“Thank you.”
He smiles. “Thank me when you’re both finished fucking each other’s brains out, and you’re back on tour with us.”
Nodding, I turn and walk toward Danger’s room. A sense of nervous excitement washes over me. I hope he doesn’t get angry with me for letting myself in. More importantly I hope it surprises him, and we can get back to business as it should be. I walk up to his room and take a deep breath, then hold the card up to the scanner. It clicks, and I open the door. It’s quite dark so he must still be in bed, but the curtains are open slightly letting a slither of light through into the room. I tread quietly down the hall, so I don’t wake him and step into the bedroom area. My smile is wide as I look over at the bed, but then it soon drops off my face and falls straight to the floor when I notice another body under the sheets beside him. My heart pounds ferociously as I step closer to see who it is, and then I see the flurry of blonde hair.
There is no mistaking who the woman is.
It’s Effa.
In bed.
With Danger.
A loud gasp erupts from my mouth as my body slumps seeing them together. They’re not cuddling, they’re not even touching. Effa has the blankets pulled all the way up to her chin, but they’re still in the same bed together. My chest starts throbbing with a painful heartache, as hot salty water descends down my cheeks burning a trail on my skin. My breathing becomes harsh and fast as I look at the mess before me.
Danger rolls over in the bed and his eyes open to see me. His eyes widen as he takes in my state and he shifts slightly showing me he’s shirtless under the covers. It makes
me shudder, wondering if his bottom half is naked too. A loud sob escapes me as my hand comes up to my mouth. He looks from me to Effa and then back to me furrowing his brows, but says nothing as he appears like he has no idea what to say. The fact he’s saying nothing makes me think he’s guilty as I internally fall apart.
“God, you’re a prick,” I murmur quietly so I don’t wake his new flame, and then turn on my heels and bolt for the door.
“Lunar,” he calls out, but my hand reaches the door and I pull it open forcefully racing out into the hall, the door closing behind me with a thud. I need to get away from the horrifying scene I’ve just witnessed. I almost wish he would come chasing out after me, as I run to the elevator with salt water misting and coating my eyes which is making it hard to see. Pushing on the button frantically, I cry hard trying to rid the image of a peacefully sleeping Effa in Danger’s bed.
The fact that he hasn’t followed me is all I need to know as the elevator doors slide open and I move inside pressing the close button multiple times. The doors pull across slowly, and I can’t help it as I fall to the floor of the elevator losing all my energy in a heap of tears.
He has broken me.
Completely.
Sleeping with Effa was the one thing I was afraid of, and he’s gone and done it. Who knows, he may very well have been doing it the whole three weeks I was gone. We were doomed from the moment I left. I should have known. My stomach twists in gut-wrenching sobs as the elevator doors open, I can’t even gather enough strength to look up let alone stand up.
“What the fuck?” Ryan’s voice echoes inside.
I glance up as he steps inside the elevator and he’s by my side in an instant, picking me up into his arms and carrying me out of the elevator into the lobby and over to a two seater couch. He sits down with me in his lap and he smooths my hair back from my face as I continue to cry while hanging onto his neck.
“Lunar, talk to me.”
I snuggle into him and he holds onto me tightly as I try to calm down. It’s so hard, he tries to pacify me by patting my back and using soothing words, but even with my eyes clenched tightly shut I can’t stop thinking about what I’ve just witnessed.
As I calm down slowly, I’m finally able to spit out a few words. “I went into his room… and Effa… was in his bed.”
Ryan tenses and exhales then shakes his head and leans down kissing my head. “Fuck Lunar, I’m so sorry, I had no idea. I would’ve never have given you the key if I’d have known. I’m gonna fucking kill him for this.”
My sobs turn into soft cries as people walk by looking at us strangely, but I don’t care. Ryan is my comfort right now and he’s doing a great job.
“I need to go, like now, I don’t even care about my stuff. My mum can bring it, I just have to get out of here.”
He nods and stands up letting my feet fall to the ground. “Are you okay to stand?”
I nod, and he lets me go as I wipe my face. “Sorry I fell apart.”
“No, it’s totally fine. Don’t worry, though… me and Danger are going to be having some strong words.”
“Don’t even worry. If he wants Effa, she can have him. This was never going to work anyway.”
He screws up his face like he hates that idea. “Want me to get you a cab?”
Ryan wraps his arm around my shoulders after I nod, and then he walks with me to the front of the hotel.
“Can you let my mum know I’ll meet her at the airport, and to bring my stuff?”
He leans in to kiss my cheek. “Yes! I’m so sorry, Lunar.”
Sniffing, I wipe my cheeks again. “Me too. I loved hanging with you guys.”
“We loved having you around. Don’t lose contact, okay?” He knows that means I probably won’t be in contact again, and he frowns but nods in understanding as he waves his hand to the passing cab. “I’m gonna miss you.”
I clear my throat to stop myself from bursting into tears again. “I’ll miss you too, Ryan, and I hope you find that happiness you deserve.”
The taxi pulls up, and I step forward opening the back door.
Turning, I kiss Ryan’s cheek and hug him once more. “Thank you, for everything.”
“Out!” I yell, pushing Effa toward the door.
Effa grabs her shoes with a sigh while she shakes her head. “Geez dude, someone woke up cranky and hungover this morning.”
“Yeah, well, you just slept through my girl walking in on you asleep in bed with me so…” I trail off.
Effa screws up her face. “Oooh, that’s not good.”
“No Effa, it’s not. Now get out!”
“Okay, just wait till I leave before you Hulk smash everything,” she teases.
I don’t find her jokes amusing right now. “Get. Out!”
“Fine!” She pulls open the hotel room door and walks out while I storm back into the bedroom picking up the nearest thing, which happens to be a lamp, and throw it across the room with an almighty bellow. The chord snaps as it pulls out of the wall, removing some of the plasterboard with it as it pops. The lamp shade shatters, breaking into tiny glass fragments against the opposite wall. I breathe heavily in and out of my nostrils, sounding almost like a bull as my chest heaves from the tension.
That didn’t make me feel better, but it did relieve some tension. I pace the floor wondering how I could have fucked up this huge. Walking over to my shirt on the couch, I pull it on and go in search of Nate. He started this fucking disaster last night. I storm out and head down to his room banging on his door hard and fast. He opens it with an excited look in his eyes.
I lunge forward grabbing his shirt and forcing him back into the wall. “You fucking did this.”
Nate grins and shakes his head as Matt rushes down the hall.
“Whatever do you mean?” Nate quips with a wicked grin.
“You’re out of the band,” I yell and thrust him higher up the wall.
Matt steps up, grabs my hands, pulls me back from his brother and stands in between us. “He’s not out of the band, Danger. We all have to decide on that! But what did he do?”
“He kissed my girl!”
“Yeah, she tastes amazing doesn’t she?”
I lunge forward to grab Nate, but Matt pushes against my chest stopping me from getting to him.
“Nate, stop it! Danger, cool it! What the fuck is going on?” Matt asks trying to play the peacekeeper.
“Nate kissed Lunar.”
“Then you fucked Effa and Lunar left. Seems you fucked up, Danger.”
“You don’t even know what you’re talking about.”
“Don’t I? I heard Lunar tell Ryan she walked in on you and Effa in bed together. Seems pretty fucking obvious to me, and to Lunar too. Face it, you fucked up! And now you’ll never get her back. Probably for the best, you and long distance never work, do you?” Nate chides.
I groan shrugging out of Matt’s grip and walk away.
I’ve fucked up!
What Lunar saw can’t be unseen.
But what I saw can’t be either!
Her kissing Nate fucking hurt and now my band is falling apart just like my heart.
Making my way to my room, I know it’s early but I need a drink. I can’t stand the never ending ache in my chest. Knowing Lunar saw Effa in my bed makes me sick to my stomach, but seeing her with Nate killed me. I just need something to take the edge off, so I decide to drink the day away. Sure we have a flight today, and a concert tonight in Western Australia, but it’s not like I’ve never performed off my face before. Tonight I’ll be doing that again because I can’t get through today sober.
The plane ride was fun, Ryan and Luke had to both help me on, and then I passed out. They had to wheelchair me off the plane to a waiting cab. To say I got a little too drunk was probably an understatement.
It’s now a few minutes before the show and my head is pounding ferociously as Luke passes me another cup of coffee. I’m sobering up but I feel like death, and I really want to blow off the show
tonight. I know I can’t, the guys won’t let me, especially Nate who says this is all my fault and I should be hurting for hurting Lunar. But she hurt me first by kissing him, so… whatever.
“Dude, drink faster. You need to sober up for the show. Think about the fans,” Ryan says.
I sigh picking up the mug and sipping down my fifth cup of coffee since landing.
Luke shakes his head.
I rest my forehead on my arm on the table in front of me. “I feel like shit.”
“Well, stop acting like a fucking brat and you won’t feel like shit,” Luke chides, then I hear a chair scrapping across the floor and footsteps fading off into the distance. I’m pretty sure Luke’s stormed off. But my head is still relaxing on my arm as my eyes remain closed to the harshness of the world.
“You can’t fall apart on us now. We’re just starting to make it huge here in Oz. Luke’s talking about taking this tour onto Asia after we finish in Australia, Danger. That’s what would be ahead of us if you don’t fuck this up here and now. I know losing Lunar is hard, and yes you fucked up, but take it on the chin and learn. Fuck man, maybe have a break from women for a while?” Ryan suggests.
I raise my head and nod. I don’t think I could go near another woman anyway. She’s all I can think about, and the hurt in her eyes is scorched into my soul, burning me deeply. Picking up my coffee I take another sip, I still feel terrible but I know Ryan is right. My luck with women is not good. So I’m going to keep my distance from them all from now on.
“Right guys, let’s go,” Luke calls out.
Ryan stands pulling me up with him. “You can do this, Danger,” he murmurs into my ear. I chug back the remnants of my coffee and walk to the back of the stage. The crowd is at capacity and the roar is deafening, hurting my head. I don’t know how I’m going to pull this off, but I know I need to fake it as best I can. I must give the crowd the show they paid for—the Recoil they love and want—even if it kills me.