by K E Osborn
Ryan, Matt, and Nate all rush onto the stage and into the dimness of the lighting. The crowd erupts making me cringe as I take a few deep breaths, and Luke stares at me from across the way. I nod, and he exhales, nodding back to me as the music starts and I run up the stairs putting on a pretend smile while I wave out to the crowd. Ryan leads in with his guitar and I move over to the mic. The first song doesn’t call for me to use my guitar, so I grab the mic, letting all my emotion flow into the words of the song. It’s one of Lunar’s favorites, and it makes my heart race frantically as I think of her. I know my performance is off, I’m lacking, but I’m trying and I’m working the crowd like I need to. I just don’t have the usual stamina and energy I’m accustomed to. The music just doesn’t seem right, it doesn’t fit anymore for some reason.
I hate that nothing feels the same without her here. And knowing she will never be here again, is only making me feel worse as the performance goes on. I’m fading and I can’t help it.
My performance is derailing.
Nothing is working and I can’t seem to get a feel for my music like I once had.
I’m getting worse and worse.
I’m drowning in a pit of despair without her.
I’m nothing without her.
It’s been four days since I walked in on what I saw and the memory is still burned into my brain. Nothing I do can stop the nightmare image from seeping into my memory every chance it gets. Awake or asleep it haunts me and so I suffer, alone in my childhood bedroom at my mother’s house. I haven’t gotten out of my bed for anything other than the bathroom, and I try to limit that to two or three times per day because the warmth of my bed is far more comforting than the harshness of reality.
Mum comes and talks to me every day, and every day I tell her I’m fine when I’m not. I’m drowning in a sea of misery and she knows it, she isn’t stupid, that’s why she’s keeping a close eye on me I think.
My eyes are so sore and puffy from the endless amount of tears I’ve shed and continue to cry over him.
The prick that broke my heart.
I can’t shake the feeling of betrayal and loss, and the fact that he just let me walk out of the hotel room where I caught him in bed with not just another woman, but of all the women to choose from… Effa.
A fresh wave of nausea hits me while a river of tears stream down my face as I curl into a ball under the covers. The image hits me full force, I clench my eyes tight trying to rid the thought of what Danger and Effa must have been doing in my absence.
A gentle knock on my door makes me flick open my eyes. I sniff and wipe my cheeks.
“Go away,” I call out, but the creak of the hinges on the door tells me that whoever it is, is coming in anyway. Asshole.
Pulling back the covers slightly to see who it is, my eyes open wide and a gasp escapes me as I see Mum in the doorway and next to her is… Danger?
What the hell?
Swallowing hard, I look to Mum, and she gives me a look of ‘Do you want me to kick him out?’
I love her for that, but as I glance back at him looking at me with his brows furrowed and his stance slouched like he’s in pain at seeing the state I am in, it softens my hatred just enough to hear him out. He’s flown to Adelaide to see me, I should at least hear what he has to say.
“It’s okay, Mum.”
“I’ll be in the kitchen if you need me.” She shuts the door gently behind her. I sit up in the bed wiping my cheeks and then gaze down looking at the array of used tissues sprawled across my bed, floor and side table. I quickly start to gather them up as Danger walks to me and sits down on the edge of my bed right near me.
“I hate seeing you so upset.”
“Well, you caused it by sleeping with Effa,” I don’t hold back.
He exhales shaking his head and grabs my hands to stop me from my tissue hunt and stash. It makes me glance up at him, and he looks deep into my eyes catching me off guard.
“Lunar, I didn’t sleep with Effa.”
A slight gasp echoes through the room and my heart leaps into my mouth as I slowly shake my head in disbelief. “You didn’t?”
He shakes his head ever so slightly. “No.”
Furrowing my brows, I don’t miss the tingle that’s spreading through my hands from his skin touching mine. “Then why was she in your bed?”
He looks away from me and my chest tightens waiting for an answer I don’t want to hear. “We were drunk. She couldn’t make it back to her room, I told her to crash in mine. There was nothing sexual in it… at all. She was fully clothed under the covers, Lunar.”
I think back and the covers were pulled right up to her neck, which is probably why I thought she was naked underneath. “Why was she in your room in the first place?”
“After I saw you kissing Nate, I went to the bar. Effa was there and we got drunk to drown my sorrows.”
I jolt my head back in confusion. “Wait! What?”
“After you kissed Nate, I got drunk. Just wanted to wipe that image from my mind.”
Shaking my head, I think back to when Nate cornered me in the hall. “Hold up! I think you left too soon, Danger, because Nate leaned in to kiss me and then I pushed him away and slapped his face.”
His eyes open wide in obvious shock and he shakes his head. “What? Really? You don’t have a thing for my drummer?”
Rolling my eyes, I shake my head adamantly. “Oh my God, no. I pushed him away and went to find you, but I couldn’t find you anywhere.”
“So you’re telling me that the past four days we’ve both been living on misunderstandings?”
I shrug and exhale with a sniff, wiping my cheeks from the leftover tear residue. “We’re idiots.”
He nods. “I should have stopped you from walking out of the hotel room when you saw us. I knew how that would have looked, but I thought you were having a thing with Nate behind my back, so I let you go.”
Sinking into the bed, I exhale. “It looked so bad… you and Effa together. I know you compare Effa to Ella as well. So I guess I just thought you missed Ella so much you went back to what you know.”
Danger sags and scowls. “Effa and Ella are similar in some ways, but mostly they’re nothing alike. Effa is a good friend, that’s all, Lunar. I promise. You’re my girl. You always were. I would never cheat on you.”
I move closer to him. “Am I still your girl?”
“Most definitely.”
I rush forward, embracing him, pressing my puffy lips to his. I don’t even care that my face is a swollen mess and that I must look terrible. I need to feel him, and right now as his hands lace up into my hair, while his thumb gently strokes the back of my neck pulling me closer to him, and his tongue ring teases my tongue, I couldn’t feel more like everything is shifting back to where it’s meant to be. Being without him has been hard, it’s been nearly a month without him by my side. I don’t think I could handle any more time apart. I’m a fucking mess.
He pulls back panting for breath as he looks me in the eyes still holding me tightly. “Pack your stuff, you’re coming back with me on tour. Not only because I miss you, but the merch stands suck without your input.”
I laugh genuinely for the first time in a while, but then my face falls to a frown. “But what about the press? They’ve turned a corner recently, but what if they turn against me again and bring your band down, Danger? I can’t risk Recoil suffering because of me.”
“I’ve talked to Luke and we’re going to send out a press release saying that you’re my girl. Yes, you were associated with the club, but you’re not now, and if we need a statement from the club I’ll get Techie to draft something up.”
I look into his eyes. “Are you sure you want me to come back? What if I damage the tour further?”
“Not gonna happen.”
“But—”
“If it does then we deal with it together, as a team. We’ll show the world what happens when you mix beats with bikers.”
Grinning, I tilt my
head. “Beats with bikers?”
He smiles. “Yeah, I just made that up. You like it?”
I chuckle. “It’s interesting that’s for sure. You’re definitely a musician.”
He smiles standing up and pulling me with him. “Okay, pack your things.”
Danger stayed for dinner and he was so great with Stuart. I thought he might be a little distant with him, sometimes it’s hard when you are not around Autistic children. But they got along well, and Stuart was completely drawn to all of Danger’s ink, so much so that he ended up taking off his shirt so Stuart could trace all his tattoos. To anyone else, another man tracing your tattoos would be weird, but Danger knows that Stuart is special and the artwork really fascinated him. Danger was so good that Mum said he’d have to come back and spend more time with Stuart. Danger agreed with complete sincerity, which I loved. After a tearful farewell, Danger and I went to the airport with minimal hassles from the paparazzi. It seemed he was able to slip into Adelaide unnoticed, so not sure any of them knew he was here in the first place.
Once we landed in Sydney, we headed straight back to the hotel. Luke wanted to meet with us immediately, so he told Danger he’d be in the hotel room when we arrived.
Danger pulls my luggage behind him as we walk through the dimly lit hall to the room where everything fell apart. I feel weird coming back here, but I guess nothing happened in the bed besides sleeping, so I can’t be too perturbed.
I swipe the key and we head inside. The lights are on, and as we walk in I hear Luke’s voice thinking he’s on the phone, but when I step in further I see Ryan sitting on the bed. He opens his eyes wide, and I jump on the spot then rush to him embracing him tightly. He holds me back as I cuddle into him.
“So glad to have you back, Lunar, it was really fucking shit here without you,” he says honestly, and I pull back and give him a smile.
“Was shit not being here,” I reply.
Luke clears his throat like my welcoming party is inconveniencing him.
I turn and take a deep breath looking at him, he half smiles and it shocks me. He’s always so stern looking, so to see a kind of smile is very strange coming from him.
“It’s good to have you back, Lunar. We’re going to do everything in our power to make sure you stay this time. Things kind of fell to shit with you not around, so I’m hoping you can pull Danger back to his old self, ‘cause right now the tour is going to fail if it keeps plummeting the way he’s going.”
I look to Danger and frown as he winces and sighs. “What’s going on?”
Danger runs his hand through his hair. “I couldn’t perform with you gone. I just couldn’t function and every song felt flat. The lyrics didn’t mean anything… I need you, Lunar.”
I sigh and walk over to Danger embracing him tightly. “I’m sorry. But there’s no excuses now, you’ll have to pick up your performance, Danger. I’ll be here by your side the entire way.”
He wraps his arms around me and smiles brightly leaning his forehead against mine. “Just knowing that makes me feel normal. I feel so much lighter knowing you’re back supporting me.”
“Okay, so now we know the team is back together and Danger is going to pick up his act, I’ll make up a press release and issue it tomorrow. Australia will know Lunar is back onboard, and if there’s any backlash we’ll deal with it rather than running away. It didn’t work well for anyone last time,” Luke clarifies.
“Great. Now, no offense, but can you guys get the fuck out,” Danger announces.
I chuckle as Ryan laughs and Luke rolls his eyes.
“Lunar and Danger sitting in a tree f.u.c.k.i.n.g,” Ryan calls out while making a circle with one hand and pointing his finger through it with the other. I laugh and slap his arm as he turns and walks toward the door. “Have a good night you two. And Lunar…” he pauses, “… it’s good to have you back.”
He and Luke head for the door, Danger can’t keep his hands to himself as he strolls behind me. His fingers run against my hips, his front presses to my back as we see them to the door. They walk through the opening and Ryan winks at us as they exit. I close the door, then before I have time to think Danger spins, pinning me to the door. His knees slide between my legs opening mine wider as his body pushes against mine forcefully. His hand moves to my wrist pinning it above my head while his other moves up my skirt and to my knickers. He tugs them down as his lips move in under my ear. Danger’s mouth caresses my skin sending a trail of fire along my burning flesh, and I jiggle my legs to help him send my knickers to the carpet.
“I need you now. I can’t wait anymore,” he murmurs, then his teeth sink into my earlobe causing a jolt straight to my clit making it throb and ache. My free hand slides into his hair as he moves his hand from my wrist to my ass, while his other hand unbuttons his jeans. There’s a buzz in the air as both of our breathing is racing. We want each other equally as much, and after thinking we both had moved on, us joining back together is a pleasure we both need.
His cock springs free as his jeans fall over his ass and down to his ankles. His hands grip into my ass cheeks as his face comes in line to look at me. Our eyes connect, and I stare right into his dark blue orbs and I see a spark in them, not just lust, but something deeper. It takes my breath away as I wrap my legs around his waist, and he licks his lips inching his cock at my entrance.
He looks at me, right into my soul. Something passes between us, an understanding that we’re both in this as he thrusts inside of me. No need to work me up because just staring at him had me wetter than I’d been before. His gaze and the way he’s staring at me like he wants to devour every inch of me, is taking this from a simple fuck against the door to something deeper. A need, a primal need in him to have me. A part of him knows he can’t survive without having a part of me with him, and as he pushes me hard against the door, pulling his hips back and thrusting forward into me, my pussy tightens around his cock in appreciation of the pleasure he’s giving me. His warmth inside of me grazes my walls, working me higher as my fingers grip into his hair. Our eyes remain on each other as we pant and breathe heavily with each of his thrusts.
My impending orgasm builds rapidly as his cock ring rubs deliciously against my insides. His fingers gripping into my ass cheeks so forcefully I’m sure they will leave marks as he continues to stare at me.
The chemistry is intense, lights start to twinkle in the air around us then massive fireworks pummel the air with ferocity. I desperately want to close my eyes to ride the wave of ecstasy, but I don’t want to break the unfailing connection we’re sharing right now. A surge flows through me, a revelation if you will. Danger means more to me than anyone ever has, or will, I’m sure. This moment, right here, is a turning point for us. As I look into his eyes, the intensity and harshness of his stare tells me he’s feeling this too. His hooded gaze shows me it’s not just lust for him but this is deeper, the connection is strong, we care for each other, probably too much.
He thrusts up making me gasp out as he continues to pound persistently into me. My back rides up and down the door and it creaks as it shifts against the frame with our harsh movements. I’m sure anyone in the hall would be wondering what the hell is going on—on the other side of the door—but I don’t care. All I care about is the rising heat between my thighs that’s coursing through my stomach, up through my chest, and over my entire body through to the tips of my hair.
My skin raises in goosebumps and a tingle shoots down my spine as his harsh stare penetrates me as deeply as his cock. Sparks fly between us as my skin slickens in sweat, and my back arches pushing my tits forward slightly. He groans as my muscles clench, tightening with blissful pressure.
I moan, swallowing hard as I ride him. He thrusts up into me deeply, hitting just the right spot and I explode around him. My head goes cloudy and my sight grows dim, but I don’t break our eye contact as he watches me licking his lips as I ride out my orgasm. Our eyes stay focused on each other, and the pure heat and lust coming from hi
m as I unfold in ecstasy, makes him start to unravel.
He pumps quicker as I chew on my bottom lip. Tugging harder on his hair, he groans and digs his fingers into my ass roughly as he pulls me on and off him faster striving for his own release. I want to help him get there, so I make a move and lean forward pressing my lips to his but keeping my eyes open. He does the same and kisses me back, his tongue ring exploring my mouth frantically as he pounds into me with firm strokes. He groans into my mouth, sparks igniting the fire in us both as he pumps and jolts, slamming me into the door demandingly hard as he pauses, looking deep into my eyes, kissing me strongly, then he unloads inside of me with a long drawn out growl.
My fingers tug on his hair, making him jerk inside me as his eyes glaze over and his kiss turns languid and soft. His forehead rests against mine, and we both pant coming down from our intense moments.
That was amazing. The connection between us, unmistakable. Something has shifted. We’re connected now more than ever, and I know now that I can’t leave his side even if he wanted me to.
He looks me in the eyes and smiles. He pulls back and shakes his head. “That was intense.”
Nodding, I grin. “So intense,” I reply.
He leans in kissing me briefly before letting my feet fall back down to the floor. He takes a deep breath running his hand up and along my cheek caressing it tenderly.
“Shower?” he asks, and I giggle and nod.
We’ve been in China now for a few days on the Asian leg of the tour. Danger and I are blissfully happy back in our bubble. Recoil are performing great, and being received so tremendously well by the Asian fans. Danger’s just performed at the Beijing National Stadium, also known as the Bird’s Nest, to a packed out stadium and the crowd were mental.
We thought the Aussies loved them. Well, it seems the Asians really dig their sound, and it also seems that with the hype of me helping my family and brother through the foundation, plus the statement from Techie saying I have no affiliation with the club anymore, the public has gone from shunning me to loving me. It’s been a complete three sixty. Things haven’t been a complete breeze, though. Seeing Nate for the first time was strange, and when Danger, Nate, and I are in the same room tensions are always high. But Nate keeps to himself now knowing I’m not going to budge.