Between the Sheets

by Bella Emy

  33

  Ellie

  Okay, so last night was a complete mini-heart attack. I mean, Derek was standing right next to me… I almost lost my shit so many times. I had my arm wrapped around his, meanwhile trying to keep my cool. All I really wanted to do was give in to him and forget this little war we’ve got going on. It would be so easy to just let everything go and start from scratch.

  But I can’t.

  He totally did the worst thing he could ever do by bringing that cunt bitch around that night. And now things can never be the same again.

  Because I know how he really feels.

  Because he’s the same dickhead he’s always been.

  If I had ever thought I had a chance to change him, I was seriously wrong.

  I let out a huge sigh as Lauren comes barging in.

  “Are you ready, Ells?!” she roars, coming into the living room area of the expensive hotel suite she had booked for her bridal party. There aren’t many of us, just five in total, plus her mom and aunt stayed with us to help us get ready. The hair stylist and makeup artist would be arriving at any moment.

  Lauren smiles brightly at me. She doesn’t realize I’ve been buried deep in my own miserable thoughts, and I’m glad. This is her day, the one she spent years dreaming about, long before Kev came into the picture.

  “I’m ready,” I say with a small smile. In reality, all I’d had to do this morning was shower and shave. My hair and makeup would soon be taken care of by professionals. One of her gifts to us was getting pampered this morning by the best of the best. The other gift she’d given her bridal party was a spa day a month from now. I’m so looking forward to that one. Lord knows I need a day of relaxation with nothing on my mind.

  And just when I think I have her fooled, Lauren looks at me and her whole facial expression changes.

  “Hey, what’s going on? I know that look,” she says to me with a smirk, taking a seat on the couch beside me. She pushes her hair back away from her shoulders and then eyes me.

  I shrug. “Nothing. Guess I’m just nervous about today. There’s going to be a lot of people and–”

  “Ells, cut the bullshit,” Lauren quickly dismisses me with one manicured hand. The freshly done pink polished nails with a white ombre finish look absolutely stunning. She’s going to be the perfect bride. “You know damn well that’s not what this is about. Now you can either spill it, or I can just go right ahead and make the assumption that how things have been going with Derek have really been bumming you out… I’m sure being around him last night didn’t help one bit.” She gives me a knowing glance, and I know it’s pointless to keep trying to persuade her that I’m upset over something else. It’s been Derek this whole time. That’s not going to change any time soon.

  But she’s right, though. Last night didn’t help my situation with him at all. If anything, it made it worse. I couldn’t even fall asleep last night. All I could think about was how we used to be so close–skin to skin close– and now I could barely stand to look at him. And it’s killing me. Like I’m mad at him, and I want to be, but at the same time, I don’t. I’m mad at myself for being mad at him, and then I’m justifying it. I don’t really know how to explain it. This whole thing just sucks and has me all types of confused.

  “You’re right. It’s D. And no, last night didn’t help at all. It made me feel worse about everything. And Lauren, I’m sorry. I know this is your day and your time, and I’m only messing it up for you. But I’m so hopelessly in love and a damn fucking mess over your brother.” I frown and lower my head into my hands. I can’t believe I just told Lauren I’m here moping over her brother. I’m ruining her day; I’m a horrible best friend and maid of honor. I should be fired.

  And yet, I feel like a hundred pounds have been lifted off my chest. It’s a relief to express my feelings to my best friend after hiding them for so long.

  But instead of being bridezilla and stomping around the room saying this is her day and I’m being selfish, Lauren just places an arm around me and kisses my head.

  “Aww, Ells. You don’t have to apologize about the way you feel. If anything, it would make me so happy to have you and D finally get together. Hell, it would be awesome to have you officially be part of the family.”

  I look up at her smiling face. Lauren, bless her soul, is proposing something that I know will never be possible. She is referring to me marrying her brother. But Derek is not the type to settle down. Even if one day he were to be in a serious relationship, marriage is something totally different. Marriage is completely out of the question, today as well as any other day going forward.

  “Laur, that will never happen,” I whisper with a frown.

  Lauren pulls away slightly. Suddenly, her mom comes waltzing in the room where we are sitting.

  “There you are, girls! The hair stylist just called… she’s here, well, downstairs parking the car. Come on, you’re up first, Miss Mykels who is soon-to-be Mrs. Silver,” Diane says with a smile.

  Lauren looks up at her mom with a smile of her own. “We’ll be right there, Mom.”

  “Alright, don’t take too long,” Diane says before leaving the two of us to ourselves once more.

  I take a deep sigh and rise from my seat next to Lauren. This is her day after all, and I need to at least try to be here for the bride. We used to fantasize about the day when the both of us would get married and stand proudly next to one another when our turn would come. But all I’d done so far was been a bitch to my best friend, not putting her first today. There’s no reason for me to act like this. I need to swallow my feelings and be here for Lauren. Once today is over, I can go ahead and throw my pity party as long as I like.

  I reach both of my hands out in front of me so that Lauren can take them. I give her my best smile, and she looks at me with a quizzical stare. She’s probably wondering how the hell I went from being blue to chipper now.

  “Come on, Lauren. Let’s go get you married.”

  She takes my hands, still looking at me with that funny glance. “Ells, I–”

  I nod but cut her off before she has a chance to make this about me any more than it needs to be. “Don’t. Really. I’m fine. Let’s get you ready for Kev so that you can enjoy your beautiful day.” I place a kiss on her forehead and begin pulling her toward the next room, where loud voices of excitement can be heard. The rest of the bridal party is ready to have fun and celebrate today well into the wee hours of the morning.

  Before we reach them, she stops me. “I know, Ells. But really, if nothing else sticks with you about what I said before, consider this: I really think you should hear Derek out, one last and final time before you decide to let it–him– go for good.”

  I don’t say a word for a moment. I know she wants me to, it’s all she’s pretty much asked me to do, but I’m not sure I really can hear him out. The damage had already been done.

  “I don’t know, Laur. It’s hard.”

  “Well, fuck it. Fine then, you’re making me do this.”

  “Making you do what?”

  She pulls her hands away and walks over to the corner of the room where her pocketbook is lying on the ground. She pulls out her cell phone and another small silver object that I can’t make out what it is.

  She walks over to the table next to the large window on the furthest side of the room. I continue watching her in bewilderment as she leans against the table and goes through her phone. I see her obviously typing something, maybe a text. After a few moments, she places it down. Whatever that was about, I have no idea. Suddenly, the small silver object is once again visible in her hand, and I immediately recognize it. A mood ring, the same one we used to swap back and forth about fifteen years ago, is in her hands. We had found it at the mall when we were kids and back then, we thought that was a sign. We would take turns with the ring every week and use it as a way to keep promises to one another. Of course, we didn’t need a stupid ring for that. We would have always kept our promises to each other. That�
��s what best friends did. I had thought that ring had gotten lost long ago when one day neither one of us could find it anymore. Lauren had had it last, and she had been a mess the following day at school when she told me it was gone. But now, here she is, waving that damn thing around.

  “Oh, my God. You have the ring? I thought it was lost,” I say, my brows furrowing.

  Lauren shrugs when she finally reaches me. She takes my hands and places the ring in my open palm. “It was lost. I found it two weeks ago when I was going through my old stuff in the attic at Mom’s, seeing what else I wanted to bring with me when I move into Kev’s. I wanted to give it to you today for being with me throughout this whole thing.”

  I’m not surprised Lauren hadn’t brought all her childhood things to her current apartment. But I guess that now when she was moving into a house–Kev, being a doctor and all, had a really big house–she had been looking for what she could take with her.

  She closes my hand around the ring. Fuck, I know exactly what this sneaky little bitch is up to.

  “You don’t have to do that,” I say, waiting for the words I know are coming.

  “So, you know what this is. You’re going to make me a promise. With this ring.” She flashes me a smug grin, and I want to kick her ass.

  “You can’t do this,” I mutter, mad as hell.

  “Of course, I can. It’s my wedding day.”

  “Hey, that’s not fair,” I pout.

  “It’s the perk of being the bride,” she replies, grinning widely.

  “Fuck,” I whisper.

  “I want you to promise me that you’ll open your ears, as well as your heart, and really hear Derek out. I’m sure he’s not ready to let it go. I know he’s going to try one last time to talk to you.”

  I smirk. “Oh yeah, and how do you know that?”

  Her smile is gone now, quickly replaced by a “what the fuck” glance. “Did you forget we’re twins?”

  I chuckle. “How can I? Sometimes when I’m looking at you, I swear I see him. But then you’ll talk and say something that lets me know you’re you.”

  Lauren smiles again. “Guess that’s a good thing.”

  I shrug. “I guess so.”

  “Anyway, quit trying to change the subject,” she says, and I roll my eyes.

  She tugs at my hands and continues, “Promise me? As part of my wedding present from you to me. I don’t want anything else. Please, my bestie?”

  I give it a thought for only a second before I let out another deep sigh and give in. How can I say no now? “Okay. I promise.”

  She does a little giddy jump and claps her hands together. “Great! Now, come on! We are going to be late.”

  “I’ll be right there,” I say. Lauren nods and walks ahead, going into the next room from where I can hear the other girls talking loudly.

  I walk over to the window and look down into my palm. I move the ring from side to side. I can’t believe how many years it’s been since I’ve last seen this thing that used to mean so much to us. I lift my head and look out the window. We’re on the fourth floor, so from here, I can see the pretty view outstretching for miles.

  And then, right when I think everything may just be all right, I turn my head to the sound of Lauren’s ringing phone that she left in here. On the screen, Derek’s image illuminates. My heart stops, and I hold my breath. It’s a picture of him smiling one of his all-time famous sexy grins. Suddenly remembering to breathe once more, I let out my breath.

  Fuck, I don’t know how I am going to get through this day.

  34

  Ellie

  Lauren looks beautiful. She is the definition of what a bride should always look like. She’s radiant and glowing in her diamond white gown. Her hair is pulled up into a bun with strands of hair overflowing from the sides in curls. Her makeup is flawless, wearing the perfect amount. She looks so happy, and she should be. I stand back and watch her in awe as she spins around the dressing area for all of us to finally see her in her wedding dress. What a vision she is. She’s going to make poor Kev bonkers when he sees her.

  “Alright, ladies… it’s show time,” Diane says, as we get ready to head out to the limo.

  “Oh my God. It’s finally time! Let’s go!” an overly excited Lauren shouts from the other side. She walks up to me, and I just smile at her.

  “Ready, bestie?” she asks. She’s got the biggest smile plastered on her face.

  I giggle. “Of course, I am. What about you? Are you ready to become Kev’s wife?”

  Lauren’s smile expands across her face. “Of course, I am! I’ve been waiting for this day my whole life, but most importantly, I’ve been waiting to be his wife since the moment I first realized I was in love with him.”

  God, she’s so cute. She’s head over heels in love with this man. One day, maybe I’ll be lucky enough to find what she has. Until then, I’m just going to support her and be happy for what she’s been so fortunate to find.

  “Girls, stop dilly-dallying… let’s go before we’re late to the church,” Diane says to the other bridesmaids in the room. I watch her scurrying them off as each of them grabs her things and heads out the door. “Sweetheart, you ready?” she asks Lauren.

  Lauren makes a face and her expression is priceless. She’s so overjoyed.

  “I’m ready, Mom.”

  “Great, then let’s go make you a wife.”

  I watch the rest of the girls shuffle out the door. I volunteer to be the last one out to make sure we grab everything before heading off.

  “Come on, dear,” Diane says to me.

  I turn around to see her waiting for me at the door. She looks alluring in her pale teal gown, matching ours. It really goes well with her eyes and honey-chestnut hair color.

  “You go on ahead. I’ll be right there. I just have to grab my phone in the next room,” I say. I watch Diane nod and head out the door. I’m glad she’s not asking me any other questions right now.

  I do have to admit that the hair and makeup team did an awesome job on me. You can’t even tell I’d let a few tears fall earlier as I was in the shower, inevitably thinking of Derek. I wonder what he’s up to right now… probably getting himself ready as well. I’ll be seeing him so soon, and yet…

  And yet, it’s killing me. I so badly want to give in to him, give in to us. But I know we can never be. Derek and I are no more, and all we ever will be is just a distant memory that was short lived.

  I let out a huge sigh as I stare at my reflection one last time in the mirror.

  “Well, this is it,” I whisper, turning around. I spin the ring from our childhood that Lauren had given me earlier today around my finger as I make my way out the door. I’m going to see Derek for one last and final time today. After the wedding, I’m making plans to move back close to Mom. I haven’t told anyone yet, but I’m planning on telling Mom the news first once I see her at the reception later today. I mean, there’s no more reason for me to stay here now that my bestie is going to get married. I have no one here for me. I know the best thing I can do for myself is move as far away from Derek Mykels as I can. It’s the only way I will ever truly be able to move on. Staying here, in this town, is too much. It hurts too much. Everywhere I go, everywhere I turn, is just a memory of D and what we used to be. Or what we never really were? I can’t decide. Because even though the two of us were never an official couple, never in my life had I ever felt as strongly about someone as I did him. It’s insane. I still can’t figure out why the hell I did this to myself, going into it knowing that he was just bad news for me. He was trouble, and I let him get the best of me.

  My heart feels like it’s going to pound right out of my chest. My emotions are going wild as we’re standing at the entrance of the church once again. The only difference this time is that we’ve got an audience, so I’m praying Derek doesn’t cause a scene.

  When I walked in and saw him before we took our places, I wanted to die. If I ever thought he was gorgeous before, now I was reall
y fucked. The way his tuxedo fit him like a glove made me almost forget to breathe. That expression people say about looking like an outfit is painted on someone? Well, it’s true. I never believed it ‘til now. Jesus fucking Christ. Just thinking about how I felt when I first laid eyes on him today makes my panties drenched. Fuck, how can he still have this effect on me now… after everything?

  Sure, we’d exchanged glances, he had even stared at me a moment too long. The way his eyes looked me up and down said so much. Yet, he hadn’t said all but two words to me. So, yes, it’s been awkward, but I guess he doesn’t want to ruin this day for his sister, either. I mean, what more could he possibly say to me, anyway? I honestly think that by now, everything that needed to be said and done has been.

  As the music cues for the first couple to walk down the aisle, Derek puts his arm up for me to take it. I bet he can hear my rapidly beating heart right now. I take slow steps to get close enough to him where I am able to entwine my arm in his. Fuck, he smells so good. Why the hell does he have to be the one guy who makes me want to melt to the floor in a puddle of mush? This isn’t fair.

  “You ready, Ellie?” he whispers in my ear as he leans so close to me that I can feel the warmth of his breath caress my skin. It causes goosebumps to rise up on my neck. Every little part of me that he touched with the whisper of his words causes me to shiver.

  Fuck, Derek Mykels… what are you doing to me… still? How can this be?

  As our turn comes up, we take our time walking down the aisle. Lauren and Kev’s family and friends are all seated in the pews with their eyes glued on us as we make our way to the front of the altar. Soon, D will be standing on the opposite side lined up next to all of Kev’s groomsmen while I’ll be lined up beside the bridesmaids.

  “Eloise,” he whispers as we take our walk down the aisle.

  My insides freeze up. Shit, not now, D. We can’t do this now. We can’t mess up this day for your sister… we can’t. But him saying my name in a whisper causes a thousand memories to flood my brain… the way he had first called me by it as we made love.