Suffocate

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Suffocate Page 8

by Xavier Neal


  “Thanks,” I say before hitting the end button.

  Truth is...I’m gonna need it.

  Chapter 15

  Luke

  It’d been seven days since I’d seen him. Seven long days. Was it too much to ask for it not to sting so much? I know I’d been busy with work, but I can’t help fight the feeling he was avoiding me. Our texts were short and sparse. You don’t think it was because I didn’t let him...ya know, the last time we....ya know? What? I don’t think I need to say the word for you to understand the picture I am painting. Ugh. Not now. Not the prude speech right now.

  “Well there’s the nurse with too much heart,” Charlotte teases, coming towards me where I’m leaned over the counter waiting for Shelia to get off the phone.

  Deserting the desk I head for her. “Well hello North Carolina. You look extra bright. Date went well?”

  “No.” She shakes her head full of dirty blonde curls. “Awful. Pretty sure you guys play on the same team.”

  I smirk.

  I could’ve told her that, but she’s so damn stubborn she wouldn’t have listened anyway.

  “Speaking of guys and dates, are you gonna go out with Dr. Sheldon?”

  My face scrunches.

  Inter office relationships are never a good idea. Period. Especially not with someone who looks like he’s performed a face lift on himself a time or two.

  “Rumor has it—”

  “That’s never a good way to start a sentence.”

  She giggles and swats my arm with her small hand. “Rumor has it, he asked you this week.”

  “Um...last week actually,” the memory of him asking me out an hour after having Stuart underneath me pops back in my brain.

  Not hard to say no when you just finished screwing the only person in the world you want to.

  “And you told him no because...”

  Uncomfortable with the line of questioning I head down the hall to check on the last patient who is ready to be discharged. “Because I said no.”

  “Were you busy?”

  “No.”

  “Is it cause he’s got hair plugs?”

  “That doesn’t help,” I mumble.

  I’m not that shallow. But, I do believe if you can afford to make your face tight as the results from a Buns of Steel video, you should be able to at least get a decent set of hair additions. Wow. I sounded like my sister just then. Don’t tell her I said that.

  “Then what is it? Do you have a boyfriend?”

  Stopping outside the room, I hesitate not answering.

  “You do!” she squeals gleefully.

  I don’t. Do I? Are we even anything? I said I wanted to be more than just a face in his bed yet here I am. Feeling exactly like that.

  “I—”

  “What’s his name?”

  “I—”

  “Is he younger?”

  “I—”

  “I bet he’s younger,” she cuts me off again.

  This is Charlotte. Cute girl from a small town with a mouth twice the size of her that runs at twice the speed it should. She’s been at this hospital almost as long as I have. A great work friend even if she is a little intrusive. Why are you suddenly looking at me like that now?

  “Either way it’s good you finally have someone. You know, you’re always here and picking up extra shifts. Going the extra distance for patients. The lazy nurses. Taking care of everyone. I like the idea of you taking time for you. Oh! I love the idea of someone finally taking care of you!”

  “Nurse!” the patient from behind the cracked door croaks.

  “I’ll let you get to that one. You know how much I hate patients over 60.” And as quickly as she came, she scurries away.

  With my hand on the knob I brace myself.

  I liked the idea too. Too bad that’s all it was. And most likely all it’ll ever be.

  Chapter 16

  Stuart

  The sound of the front door closing comes at the perfect time. I shut the hot water off and rise to my feet satisfied with everything I put together.

  I’m pulling out every stop I can to cushion the blows I’m gonna be bringing him. Cheap tricks? Somewhat, but if this is the last time he’s gonna speak to me or wanna see me, I at least want it to be memorable.

  “Who the hell—” his voice shuts off at the sight of me. Looking like the breath has been knocked out of him he whispers, “What are you doing here?”

  “Figured you could use a little relaxation.” I wave my hand at the bath beside me with the candles lit in the corners of the luxury tub. With an innocent shrug I finish with, “And you deserved an apology from me...for me acting like...well like...”

  “Like an asshole.” Luke fills in the answer without a smile.

  “Isn’t that a little harsh?”

  “What else do you call someone who you fuck and then doesn’t answer your calls?” My face screws tightly. “Someone who says one thing than treats me like another.”

  “That.” I point at him trying to lighten the situation. “All of that. You’re right. So, before you string me up by my neck and give me a well-deserved verbal lashing, let me do this for you.” Luke raises his eyebrows. “Let me help you relax. You deserve it.”

  With a hard swallow I watch as he gives in and starts to undress, the sight of him naked in front of me like something that people carve into marble. My eyes wander across his creamy skin searching for one flaw, one tiny scar to make him more human, yet I come up empty.

  Walking over to me, he takes the hand I’m offering to help him into the tub. Upon sinking into the hot water, he let’s out a euphoric moan. The sound causes me to adjust my bulge before leaning down beside him, hand immediately massaging the back of his neck. A groan leaks out of him as I notice his cock start to rise in the water.

  Remind me that a hand job in the bath is not romantic.

  I sink the hand rubbing his neck into the water briefly. Once it’s wet, I drip the heated droplets across his shoulders, watching them roll down his body looking like one of my erotic photos. My fingertips drag across his pimpling flesh while my eyes stay locked on this picture perfect moment of him being on the brink of an orgasm from barely being touched by me. By me.

  Seriously remind me that it would not be sweet to jerk him off right now. A hand job in the bath is not romantic. A hand job—

  “Stuart,” he groans lifting his hips up tempting my free hand to relocate.

  Fuck it. I am not the poster kid for romance.

  While my left hand continues rubbing his neck and tense shoulders, my right slides into the water and directly on top of his cock causing him to hiss out my name. Prepared for him to stop the action, I’m surprised when he melts into my touch sliding further into the water allowing his dick to float up. Taking his cock like it’s a sacred offering I begin stroking him slowly, gently fondling his nuts too, not wanting to rush this.

  If I’m going to give him up, I’d like to savor every curve, twist, and moan that I can.

  With one hand massaging his dick and the other his neck, I let my eyes focus on the most erotic moment continuing like some well awaited Hollywood sequel. The muscles in his neck are straining with each passing pump as the water knocks against the bathtub walls, splashing at the base of the lit candles. His breathing becomes more and more shallow, which I’m learning is a neon warning an incoming orgasm is pending. Unable to resist I let go of the back of his neck, awkwardly lean over the edge of the bath, and slide his cock against my tongue, my ring rolling around like the best wing man a guy could ever ask for.

  Luke’s fingers thread through my hair as I suck hard, anxious to taste what I know he’s holding back. Still resisting, I feel him strain harder under my touch each time his cock dives deeper.

  Helplessly he cries, “Stuart!” A warm sensation rushes through
my mouth as his pulsating dick provides everything I know I want to experience with only him in my life.

  Part of me can’t believe I just said that, but look at me. I’m risking everything, my future, my unborn son, for just one last moment with him. That’s got to mean something right?

  When Luke finally loosens his grip on my head, I swallow the last of the reward for a job well done, and lean my face inches from his. To my surprise he lifts a wet hand and strokes my cheek softly.

  “I hate that I had to wait a week for you to touch me again.”

  “I hated not touching you that long,” I shyly answer leaning into his affectionate touch.

  Is it weird I’ve had probably over a hundred partners and not one has ever touched me like this? Will you not focus on the number and focus on the big picture please?

  He pushes his lips against mine softly, letting them linger. Reluctantly he pulls away and whispers, “Get undressed. Now.”

  With a wicked grin, I rise to my feet and start to shed my clothing.

  What? He insisted! What kind of guy would I be not to get naked to help his lover he owes an apology and hours of making up to? I’m not that kind of a bastard.

  Chapter 17

  Luke

  After a bath consisting of making the two of us dirty rather than clean, we dried off and managed to make our way down stairs where Stuart has surprised me again by deciding to cook for me.

  Who doesn’t want a man that can cook?

  Lowering my favorite I Heart Doctors mug to the table, I pull my legs to my chest in the chair, leaning one arm on the table, “Where’d you learn to cook?”

  “Daniel Davidson,” he answers flipping the bacon, my eyes wandering over his tight ass in his black boxers. “Chef I dated while I was in college.”

  I try to bite back the jealousy sting before he can see it.

  Of course he’s had other boyfriends, err lovers, but that doesn’t mean it thrills me to hear about it. I know I asked, but I didn’t ask that. Now that you bring it up though...

  “How many,” my voice starts before I clear my throat. “How many boyfriends have you had?”

  Stuarts gives me a cocky smirk looking over his shoulder. “You really wanna pull at that thread?” I wince as my response causes him to chuckle. “Once you know...you can’t un-know.”

  True. Do I wanna know? God, I should just do it like a Band-Aid huh? What is it about him that turns me into...this?

  “I know.”

  He nods and turns back to the frying pan. “Two.”

  “Two?!” I shriek loudly in disbelief.

  He tosses his head back in laughter and nods. “Just two.”

  “But—”

  “You asked for boyfriends. Not lovers.”

  True. But don’t you feel like he’s feeding me bullshit?

  “Still. Shortly after we met, you had a boyfriend.”

  “Jack,” he answers removing the bacon from the pan. “Jack and I were a couple on and off for years. He’s part of the reason I didn’t need to settle on other guys. He always came back to me. We started dating shortly after I started college and believe it or not he’s the reason I ended up in Texas even though he didn’t stay, I did. We’d make up to break up, the span between the break ups longer each time. The last time was the final time.”

  “You had, had enough?”

  “He was leaving the country with a guy he had been seeing behind my back, so yeah, you could say I had had enough.” The answer is accompanied with him delivering the plate of bacon to the table.

  Can we say fucked up?

  “That had to be hard.”

  “Not as hard as I figured it would be, but hard enough to push me to do something stupid that I will pay for, for the rest of my life.”

  “What’s that?”

  Stuart takes a deep breath and starts like he’s going to say something but stops. “I’ll explain later. Let’s just enjoy breakfast. Okay?”

  I nod and watch him put a bowl of fresh cut strawberries on the table, a small glob of whip cream in the middle, reminding me of the way my mom used to make them when I was a kid.

  Fighting off the memory I pick the conversation back up. “What about the other one?”

  Stuart puts an egg white, spinach and mushroom omelet in front of me and sits in the chair beside me. With a heavy sigh he says, “Mitchell McDougal.”

  “M&M? Like the candy?”

  “I shouldn’t be surprised you didn’t say the rapper.” When he gets a smirk from me he continues. “I was 17 when I dated Mitchell. He wasn’t the first guy I hooked up with, but he was the first one that meant something. We kept it on the DL because he was the quarterback with the cheerleader girlfriend and captain of the wrestling team. Very cliché.” Stuart insists taking a bite of his toast. “But he promised me when we graduated things would be different. We had plans to go to the same college out of state. Away from all the prying eyes and judgmental views of our prude driven town. One night, I was leaving his house and he um...he kissed me goodbye at the door. Nothing alarming. Nothing to raise an eyebrow about. It was so quick we didn’t even realize his uncle had seen us when he pulled in the driveway. Calmly he told Mitchell to get in the house and when the door was closed he...” the words stop and Stuart’s bottom lip trembles. Instinctively I drop my legs and reach over to place a hand on his leg. “He got violent. Extremely.”

  “He beat you up?”

  “Inches within my life. And at the end of it he threatened to kill me if I ever came near his nephew again.”

  Unsure of what to say, my jaw bobs without a sound coming out.

  Stuart puts back on his playful demeanor. “He did do the nice thing and call the ambulance to come get me.”

  “What did you tell them? Did you tell them it was him?”

  He shakes his head at me. “No. I told them I was jumped and didn’t see who did it.” Picking up his fork, he starts in on his own omelet. While looking down he mumbles, “I’ve never told anyone that before.”

  “Not even C.J.?”

  His blue gaze meets mine. “No.”

  Curious I press my luck against my better judgment, “So your parents don’t know you’re—”

  “No.” I nod and decide to let the pushing end there picking up my own fork. After I take a bite of breakfast a moan escapes me, forcing a smile on his face. “Good?”

  “This is fantastic,” I compliment him in a hurry to have another forkful. “And this chef guy wasn’t a boyfriend? Cause he should’ve been.”

  Stuart chuckles and grabs a strip of bacon. “Nah. He suffered from the same thing many guys I slept with did.”

  “What’s that?”

  “Too easy.” He wets his lips and waggles his eyebrows at me.

  Feeling slightly offended I snap, “So is that why you keep coming after me? Because you want a challenge.”

  Quickly he offers his hands in surrender. “Slow down captain jump to conclusions. I simply meant, why keep something that you didn’t have to put time in with? I think you appreciate someone more when they didn’t blow you in the backseat of their car the first night.”

  I don’t wanna know. I don’t.

  “I don’t mind putting in work if it’s worth it. And you, Luke Hart, have been worth it,” he says grabbing a strawberry dipping it in whip cream and offering it to me. After I take a slow nibble he asks, “What about you? What’s your deal? Why don’t you have a boyfriend?”

  The gnawing truth has me forcing my attention back down to my plate. “Because the guys I date end up asking me to choose between my family and them.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “I mean they ask me to move out of this house. Away from this last little piece of my parents. Away from Logan. Away from Maxx. Away from my sister...and until recently it wasn’t even something I wo
uld consider. Taking care of them first has always been my priority.”

  “But they can take of themselves now.”

  “I know,” my voice croaks looking up at him. “And that scares the shit out of me. I’ve spent most of life taking care of them and now....I’m scared that they don’t need me anymore. They have their own lives.”

  “Maybe...” Stuart scoots closer to me, his face leaning towards mine. “Maybe it’s time you have your own too.”

  He gives me a sweet smile and leans his lips so they press warmly against mine.

  Maybe he’s right. And I’m hoping that it now includes him.

  Chapter 18

  Stuart

  Resting my face in my hand I stare at the most gorgeous display. Luke’s face looks soft and worry free as it’s angled towards me. His hand is stretched across his six pack.

  I did happen to lick whip cream off that last night, thanks for asking.

  The sheet is loosely hung around his hips really only covering one part.

  Huh. Isn’t this how the little roller coaster ride between us started?

  “It’s really weird for you to watch me sleep,” Luke comments from behind his closed lids.

  “How do you know that’s what’s happening if you’re asleep.”

  “The erection poking me,” his light snicker is followed by him opening his eyes. “Good morning to you too.”

  “Morning Nurse Man.” I lean over and plant a kiss on his lips. Luke’s hand reaches behind my head, spreading his fingers through my hair. Moaning through the contact, I keep our lips together as I crawl on top to straddle him. My lips slip off trailing kisses down his chin and over to his neck, hungry for him again.

  Don’t ask how long has it been since we went at it. I don’t feel that should affect how often I wanna have him.

  “Can I ask you something?” he hums as my tongue ring circles the spot above his collarbone that forces his legs to spread wider.

  “Hm?”

  “That cross tattoo on your chest,” the words are clearly having trouble coming out.

  Helping him out, I stop and lean my body up, continuing to straddle him. “What about it?”

 

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