by Zi'ere
“We know that is what you have been doing for a while now. But this time it will be a new neighborhood or possibly a new apartment complex. Safety will be key to the whole set up.” Grandma did not have to convince me about an idea I had already mapped out in my head.
“Grandpa I know you are nervous but I am being honest when I say that we have basically living on our own for years now. All of the kid’s good grades and trophy’s, were all a result of me not Angel.”
My grandmother took her time to speak her mind.
“Sweetheart you don’t have to tell me. I always knew you were doing the bulk of the work. I just didn’t know Angel wasn’t there a lot.”
“Then it’s settled. I will call the movers and have only your personal belongings for the kids packed up and moved into a new place as quick as possible. I should be able to have you all settled nicely before the spring break is over.” My grandfather pulled his cell phone from the clip on his waistband.
I exposed a huge grin. I didn’t know too many seventy year old me that had iPhones or kept them in a case on their hip of high rise khaki dress pants.
“Grandpa don’t you think you are too young to have an iPhone?” I couldn’t let the moment pass without poking fun at him. Besides, this was the first time I had a laugh all day.
“Leave my man alone Amaya, he runs the world from that thing!” Grandma playfully hit my forearm. “Okay, you come with me. Let your grand- dad make his calls and we will finish getting dinner ready.” I help her to her feet.
She was a short, tiny woman. I didn’t know her exact size but I was positive she didn’t wear more than a four or six at the most. She was Caucasian and barely stood five feet. In her seventies as well, she was still dressed in the finest clothes a senior citizen could wear. She was beautiful and I loved her more than I loved Angel. My grand-dad was an African American man who stood an even five foot six. He was healthy for his age, but due to a past stroke he used a walking stick. He was the kindest, most gentle man I had ever met.
How Angel had managed to turn out completely different from her parents I could not understand? I chose to mold myself more into the examples my grandparents set for me. Nobody had time for Angel’s mess.
After I checked on the kids in the living room, I headed into the kitchen to help out. A few minutes later, there was a knock on the back door. When my grandmother asked “Who is it?” we were both shocked at the response. It was Angel.
56
Remembering my grand-dads words that we would see if Angel showed up tonight before we made our plans, put knots in my stomach. Her being here put a damper on the good news I had just gotten ten minutes earlier. I was ready to be in our own space, totally free from Angel and from the fear of not knowing what she would do next. I could not continue to hide my car keys. I couldn’t wake up another morning not knowing if I had the food in the refrigerator to feed the kids. Something had to change and I was willing to put my life on hold to make sure my brothers and sisters were taken care of. When the time came I would adopt them, I had already decided. I was willing to do whatever I had to do to keep them safe.
I watched my grandmother walk over to the door, unlock it, and hold it open for Angel to enter. The sight of her was a shock to the both of us. Angel was obviously on some kind of drug and she looked as if she had woken up under a bridge as a homeless person. The same mane of wild and tangled bi-racial hair she had given her own children, sat matted to her head. She looked dirty and un-kept. I had never seen her look so bad in all the years I could recall. I used to think she was a beautiful person at least on the outside, if not so much on the inside.
My grandma began to wail in tears. She nearly broke down as I tried to rush to her side to guide her to a chair at the kitchen table. When she was seated safely, I ran to stop the kids from coming to see what all the noise was about. I was able to get them back into the spare room without them seeing Angel. I gave them instructions to lock the door and only open it for me. I half way expected Angel to demand to see her younger babies she hadn’t seen in over a month.
In the hallway I paused for a second to say a quick prayer. If Angel had come to make a stand to fight for us, I asked God to make it a true effort on her part. If she had come to officially turn her back on her family, I asked that God would give our grandparents and the rest of us the strength to let her go. I was convinced that God needed to be in the midst of this entire situation. I made it back to the kitchen just in time to see my grand-dad swing his walking stick at his only child.
I heard her say “they only have twenty- four hours to get their stuff out of my house” before he slammed the door in her face. My grandmother was still seated at the table still crying, maybe even sobbing harder than she was before I left. Instead of directing his words to anyone in particular, Granddad talked to the door for a few minutes mumbling words I had never heard him use. I knew him very well. He was more upset at Angel for making her mother cry than anything else.
He made his way to the woman he loved more than his own life. I watched him wipe the tears from her cheeks. He kissed her sweetly on her hands before he spoke.
“My sweethearts I need you to go ahead and feed the children, Amaya you need to eat quickly. You’re going to have to go to the house to pick out the things the kids will need for the next few days. Also you will need to mark everything that will be going to your new house tonight. I will have a bodyguard for you and the police for Angel at the house so you will feel safe. I won’t have to worry about Angel’s drama and I want her arrested on site if she causes any problems with you.”
57
Alarms suddenly went off in my head. We had to move tonight? What had made Angel come to such a decision? The only reason I could think of was that Angel had lost the house some kind of way. It suddenly dawned on me that if she had not been paying the notes on her cars, maybe she had not been paying the note on the house her kids lived in. Whatever the case, I needed to get to the house quick before the safe could be found.
After making sure the kids had full bellies, I double checked to make sure they were comfortable and would not give the grandparents too much trouble until I made it back. Just as he’d promise he had a police escort to follow me to what would be the last time I would walk into the horrible place I had lived in my entire life. I was not sad to say goodbye to the house. After a short drive I was pulling into the driveway and noticed a black Yukon Denali parked at the curb.
When the police cruiser pulled up, two tall black men got out of the truck. Apparently they were there for my protection. In my humble opinion they looked as if the police presence should be a problem from them but I knew my Grandpa was a respected man. He would only allow the most trusted individuals around his grandchild.
I had practiced clearing out our personal things so many times in my head, the walk thru was a breeze. The first order of business was to empty the safe. I loaded the money into a book-bag style Coach bag Nanny Steph had bought me and I locked the bag in my car first. Luckily Angel had not returned to the house but I wanted to be gone before she could. I was thankful I had the kids keep their rooms in order. By the time I had duffle bags for the four of us filled, the movers had shown up with an oversized truck to break down the beds and move the beautiful furniture that belonged to us.
The rest of the furniture in the house was ratty and old. It looked as if it was two different homes inside of one. Angel entertained strangers all over the house and was not good at keeping up the furniture in the house, ever in life. After the furniture was pointed out, there was no need for me to stay. After one final glance around, I said goodbye to the past and prayed for a brighter future. The police escorted me back to my grand-parent’s condo.
Grandma had experienced too much excitement for the day which had caused her to be already in bed by the time I made it back. The children wouldn’t dare fall asleep without me being in their eyesight and arms reach. I found Grandpa in his office smoking a cigar. The smell was overbeari
ng and he put it out as soon as I stepped into the room. He cracked the sliding glass door to allow the smell to escape. Being the business man that he was, he handed me a manila folder. Inside was the confirmation email for the reservations he had made for us at a five star hotel. There was a black American Express card with his name on it and a list of purchases I needed to make and pay for with the card.
According to the rest of the contents of the folder we would be staying in a hotel until the new house would be ready in two weeks. There was a tabbed stack of hundred dollar bills. According to the wrap, it was ten thousand dollars. I was tempted to tell him we really had no use for the cash. I quickly decided against it. He didn’t seem to be in the mood to debate about the decisions he had made. Hugs and kisses were exchanged between the five of us, complete with the promise to come by the condo everyday while trying to live as normal of a life as possible. In a matter of minutes the kids and I were on our way to check into the Double Tree Hotel’s penthouse suite.
58
We all had experienced a very stressing Friday and Saturday morning there was no one up before eleven am. As the kids woke up, one by one they all got familiar with the suite and nestled into the king sized bed in what was my temporary bedroom. No kitchen meant no cooking for me and for once I was excited about the break I would get for the next two weeks. While we waited on the room service ordered food to arrive we all freshened up. Without agreeing to, we all ended up in a clean set of pajamas. We ate a late breakfast out on the patio and filed back inside to my bed. Between iPads, Mac notebooks, PS3’s, cell phones, all with ear phones- everyone was in a safe felt chilled mode. We slept on and off for the remainder of the day. Late lunch led to an even later dinner hour, but we never left the room the entire day.
I looked into the faces of my babies to make sure I didn’t see any sadness. If I was right, I saw relief and a sense of safety in their faces. I took every opportunity to tell them I loved them and asked often if they were okay. I also wanted to answer any questions they may have about what our future would be. They all assured me they trusted me and that so far they were pleased. We took the time to have family prayer which gave us all a greater feeling of security.
The weekend had passed and we had only left the room to go to church on Sunday. Ordering room service, have the space to spread out in the suite, and normal peace in our living space was all we needed in our lives. After a sit down dinner with our grandparents, we made it back to our temporary home and turned in early for the night. While the kids slept that night I began to finalize the plans I had made for them for spring break. I had at least one activity away from the hotel every day except Sunday’s of course. I ended up taking the kids to the arcade, a water park, to the movies to see every kid movie in the theatres, we had gone bowling, gone to play laser tag, and I treated them to a mini shopping spree.
Ok, you guys. Go ahead and get ready to go to the water park.”
The boys took off for their room before my sentence was complete. They returned in a matter of minutes with surf shirts and tropical swimming trunks. When my diva by the name of Zina was not as prepared as I thought she would be.
“Uh, I’m not sure where you got that bathing suit from…but that is not how you will be dressed today.” The two- piece was showing more if her skin than the mommy like swimsuit I had on under a modest cover.
“It was in my bag, I thought you had packed it for me.” I moved closer to her and inspected the tiny bikini closer.
The suit was Chanel but I knew there was no way I had bought it nor our Nana Steph.
“Go get the bag you got this out of.” She switched her little curves in the suit and precious flip flops that I had purchased.
She came back to the living area with a duffle Louis Vuitton bag that was similar to the other bags I had packed for us all. After a quick once over, I realized I had picked up one of Angel’s bags by mistake. The bag was full of swim suits with the tags and some with theft sensors still attached. In one of the inside pockets there were several sandwich bags full of drugs. Prescription bottles with tags that didn’t match Angel’s name, what I assumed was marijuana, and baggies with little crystal stones.
59
“What’s wrong Nana?” All three of the kids noticed I had lost all he color in my face.
I could not believe I had picked up a bag that belonged to Angel and there were drugs inside.
“Uh, nothing. Umm, do you have your back packs ready to go, sunscreen, and eye goggles. Zina you are going to need your swimming cap.” My troops went to get their things.
I took the bag into my bedroom. I opened all of the prescription bottles and emptied them into the toilet. The second flush was dedicated to the items in the other bags. In the other inside pocket I found various credit cards and more cash. None of the cards belonged to Angel either. I took the time to cut up each the cards into tiny unusable pieces. I got a plastic garment bag from the closet. I placed all of the stolen items inside the disposable bag. The cash went into my own wallet.
A few minutes later, the four of us were on our way to the parking garage. On the way, I put the garment bag inside of a housekeeping cart’s garbage can. My mind was spinning out of control about all of the possible scenarios if someone had caught that bag in my possession with its contents I didn’t know anything about. One thing was clear, Angel had been a busier woman than I could have ever imagined. The drugs explained so much about her behaviors and the change in her appearance. I got a hold of my emotions and pushed everything aside to have a good time with my kids.
Friday, while the boys were on a supervised experience at the IMAX dinosaur exhibit and experience, Zina and I had girl time that included getting our nails done with pedicures. When we came out of the spa, Angel was leaning against the hood of my car. I was completely caught off guard. If it was possible, she looked even worse than she had when I had seen her the week before.
“Amaya, I’m not going to do anything to you. I just need my bag back now and I know you have it!”
“I don’t have the bag anymore Angel. I flushed everything I could and threw everything else away in the trash days ago.”
“Amaya, why would you do that? I know you are smarter than that? You could have called me and I would have come get it! You had no right to take it in the first place!”
“I didn’t take it on purpose. But, why won’t you come with us and we will start everything all over. Angel we love you. We need our mom! Can you turn your back on everything else and fight for us for once?” Before I knew what was happening, I was crying. Zina was crying. Angel was fighting back tears but she lost it in a matter of seconds.
“All four of you are better off without me.” She turned to walk away.
“Angel wait!” She stopped in her tracks.
“If you owe someone money, I will give you the money. I don’t want you to be hurt. Please come with us and we can work everything else out?”
“You’re doing a better job than I could ever do. Take care ok.” With those casual and emotionless words, she was gone.
Zina and I got in the car. Seated in the air conditioning we let the tears fall for a few more minutes. I held on to her for dear life as she sat beside me in the passenger seat.
“You know she’s right Nana. We don’t need her.” Zina kissed me on the cheek.
If I did not have the support and love from my three munchkins, I would have been a broken person.
60
Another Sunday had come and gone. When we made it back to the suite, I sat them down to have a heart to hearts. I made each of them aware of exactly what was going to be happening next. After our week of playing around, we would have to spend the second week setting up our new home. We had to pick out furniture and holdings from salt and pepper shakers to bath towels. For some reason I thought the kids might be upset about never returning to the only home they had ever known. Instead, they were excited to have a safe home where Angel couldn’t show up and expose her bad temper
to them.
There was a discussion about keeping our family life super private once again. If things could go wrong when we still lived in a house everyone knew was Angel’s, we all needed to know the new risks of really living alone. I tried to keep the conversation appropriate for a pre-teen girl and ten year old boys. In return I got mature responses and sincere appreciation for all that I was doing for them.
After we had come up with a list for the things we would all need, they all surrounded me and bombarded me with hugs. My brothers gave me kisses on the cheeks and wiped away the tears of fear that I had inside of me that I could no longer keep inside. It was official, I was sixteen years old and I was responsible for three kids. They loved me just as much, maybe even more than I loved them. We promised each other that nothing would come between us and destroy our tight bond.
With God in the center of our lives guiding us, we were sure everything would turn out for good. My mind began to wonder about the things my classmates could have been doing on a Sunday evening. My guess is they were online browsing gowns for prom. Maybe they were interacting with other kids on social media sights or even in a fierce texting conversation with their crush. I had never been on a date, not even a group date. I didn’t even have a best friend. A boyfriend was absolutely out of the question. The less people in my life meant the less people I had to cover all bases with. For half a second I wished I could be a normal teen. Taj called me into the sitting room to watch tv with them and the wish disappeared into thin air.
My kids came before any child like games other sixteen year olds were playing. I was convinced that I would probably never have a normal adulthood either. The next two years of my life were already mapped out in detail. I needed to maintain my now 4.0 grade point average. I would probably need to have two points over to be class valedictorian. I had to be at the top of the class to receive a full academic scholarship for college. Even though my grandparents could afford to send me to whatever college I wanted to attend, my thoughts were on keeping down the expenses they would have to cover.