by Zi'ere
I had already decided that the kids would have all of the experiences of the winter dances, proms, homecoming dances, and all of the normal things kids did. I would not let them grow up like I did. I was going to make all the sacrifices for them. The money our grandparents could give me for college tuition could continue to grow interest sitting in the bank to pay for the things the kids would need as they got older. Even if the twins should need it when they graduated, the money would be there. Zina had her sights set on design school and was already landing grants to attend workshops and internships. My little sister had plans just like her big sister. I was sure if there was going to be competition for me in accomplishments, Zina had the drive to exceed me.
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Happy thoughts caused my tears to dry. I had plans to become an accomplished attorney. I knew it would be hard work but I wasn’t used to anything being easy for Amaya. We were going to see the place we would live in at least until I graduated high school tomorrow. We had a lot of things that needed to be done and I did not need cranky pre-teens with me. I instructed them all to take their baths and I encouraged them to settle down for the night by ten pm. Like the sweethearts they were, the followed my directions. By ten thirty I could hear three different but recognizable patterns of sleep breathing. The kids had decided to sleep in the separate rooms of the suite for the time being. I knew that could change before day break so I decided to hurry myself to bed so I could feel space for a minute at least.
I stood in the bathroom mirror looking at myself while the bath tub was filling with water. I had not spent any time on Amaya in a long time. I needed to get my ends cut. It would be nice if I were able to get a manicure and a pedicure. Those were things Steph made sure I was treated to when I was younger. I would have to learn how to schedule some time for myself before I lost my mind. After a warm bubble bath, I melted into the thickness of the bed. I was out in a matter of seconds.
“Hello to all of you. My name is Amaya Stevens. I am originally from Mobile, Alabama but my family and I just moved here two days ago. I’ve heard a lot about your school and I’m glad to be here. I can’t wait to start working with each of you.” I was beyond horrified that teacher in my homeroom had requested that I come to the front of the class to introduce myself.
A new school in the middle of my junior year of high school was enough for me to be considered emotionally unstable. A new job in another state with double the pay and benefits were the causes of the sudden uproot of my life. Before the move, my family could be considered as upper middle class. Now that we were registered residents of Chandler, Arizona, we were not wealthy. Promises of a brand new car had been all it took to change my attitude from sour into sweet with my parents. So, here I was. I was a newbie in ---- High School forced to make a new set of friends. I was judged on my look from head to toe as I stood in front of the class. The girls gave respect and the boys took notice.
I watched my classmates stare at me with no shame. In true high school nature, I was hip to the knowledge that the first impression was the only impression you were going to be. In Mobile we wore uniforms to school. The khaki pants and white polo shirt was simple and was meant to be affordable no matter where the kid’s parents worked. Truth is a kid could turn an inexpensive outfit into a costly one just like any other clothing.
With designer labels like Polo, Aeropostale, Abercrombie & Finch it was easy to figure out who ‘the have and the have not’s’ were in school. In Arizona, I noticed very quickly you needed to put up or shut up about your clothes. On a shopping spree with my mom in the mall, I noticed very quickly that the kids of Chandler were serious about their fashion. I also made a note to never show up with my mom in the mall on a Saturday ever again.
I was a smooth dark chocolate sixteen year old girl with a shape already. I was not thin but I was not fat either. I could feel comfortable in any type of clothing I decided to wear. My parents were cool enough to let me express myself in almost any way I chose. I as standing at my locker just before the last class for the day mentally exhausted. I already had five out of the six course syllabuses and if the last one was like the others, I would faint. The honors classes I took in Alabama were nothing like the honors classes in Arizona. I had thrown myself on the mercy of the court just to be able to go to a public school. In Alabama I had been in private school and I hated every second of it. Somehow I now knew that I had been hoodwinked by my parents.
There was no difference in the amount of work I would need to complete to stay afloat in my classes. Public school in Arizona was beginning to look like an exact twin of private school in Alabama. The only difference between the two was I did not have to wear an ugly plaid skirt with a boring button down shirt every day. Today I was dressed in a cute top and skinny jeans with funky girly flats. But just like where I had come from I would need to take all my books home tonight. I had to catch up on the work I had missed on Monday and Tuesday that was taken up with the move cross country. I was trying to figure out a plan for space in my book bag when I felt a presence beside me.
“Hi, it’s Amaya right?” A cute girl almost as pretty as me was offering her hand for me to shake.
“Yes. That’s correct.” I looked at her sideways. I was in no mood to be potentially bullied.
“I am Sasha, nice to meet you.” I shook her small hand with beautiful manicured nails.
“Nice to meet you too” I offered a small smile.
“Well really we have already been introduced. I’m in homeroom with you and every other class you’ve been in today. I bet we are on the way to the same science class.
“I’m sorry I didn’t notice you sooner. Today has been a whirl wind for me.”
I was being sociable but I was also trying to figure out the book to book-bag space ratio.
“I understand how hard that can be. If you don’t mind me being all up in your business I could give you some pointers to help you out.” She looked harmless, so I relented.
“If you are nice to me, I will be nice to you. So far, so good and help is definitely needed.” I stopped moving about and paid attention to her.
“Ok, I’m sure you have a laptop right?” Sasha was chewing gum at a rapid pace and I was unsure how she could speak so well with the big wad in her mouth.
“Yes, I have everything…iPad, Mac notebook, and a pc.”
“Ok, great. You don’t need to take all those books home then. Because of fear of offending a kid who can’t afford all of the electronics, they still issue books. But on your syllabus there is a list of materials needed for the class. On the list is the name of the book, the edition, and the author. All you have to do is find the books online, use your school id to download it, and you have it with you no matter where you go.”
“You’re kidding right?” Before she could answer I had already unloaded the book bag, placing all of the heavy books back into my locker.
“Today is Wednesday and if you have honors science you and I are going to the same place. Today is lecture day so you only need your fingers to function. Come on before we are late.” Sasha began to snap her fingers at me.
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I hurriedly shut the locker and checked it to make sure it was locked. I walked slightly behind Sasha letting her lead the way since I had no idea where we were going. In the two minutes we walked together I had noticed that Sasha knew everyone on the stretch of the hallways. Kids spoke, nodded in her direction, and hugged her without reservation. Whenever there was an opportunity she introduced me. I got the feeling that she was giving me her stamp of approval. I was relieved that I had made a friend on the first day of a new school.
We made it to class in the nick of time, placing our bums in the seat as the bell rang. Once again I was forced to conduct an introduction in front of the class. But, for the first time I wasn’t terrified. On the way back to my assigned seat, Sasha slipped me a piece of paper containing her full name, address, phone number, FB name, and email address. I smiled when I read the papers contents. It
seemed like I had finally met someone as thorough as I was.
An hour later I was standing in front of the school in the pick- up section waiting for my dad. I didn’t have a chance to catch up with Sasha after class. She seemed in a hurry to get somewhere and it seemed like she disappeared into thin air. While I waited for my ride, I pulled out my cell phone to text her. My dad was going to be my ride for the day. He was the type of father little girls needed to turn out to be strong, confident, independent women.
He took care to ask all of the right questions to yield the answers he really wanted to know. I think being married to an attorney gave him an advantage. He was more suave than my mom with getting information from their sixteen year old daughter. Lucky for me some attorney like behavior rubbed off on me as well. Questioning to get definitive answers about the car I was promised hushed all communication between the two of us. I smiled to myself.
By the time we had made it home, Sasha still had not answered my text. I had little time to stress about the situation though. I sat down to take off my shoes and ended up curling into a comfortable position on the bed. I was dead asleep in a matter of seconds. When I was awakened by my mom it was seven o’clock, Williams’ dinner time. The nap had done me good but it didn’t stop me from yawning while I was seated at the dining room table.
Because I was an only child, all attention was centered on me. My parents rarely discussed their professional business with me unless either of them had to go out of town for a business trip. No such thing was happening in the near future so the conversation was all about the new school, class schedules, and any supplies I needed.
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My parents had gotten married very young and had me pretty soon afterward. Unlike most of the teenagers I knew, I had a good relationship with both of my parents. Trust was the foundation that made us get along very well. I didn’t keep major secrets from them. They were slow to punish and quick to understand my position. With all the talk about school I brought up the subject of the car once again. I noticed my parents exchange strange facial expressions. My mom was the first to speak.
“Once we are finished with dinner, we can go for a quick ride on the boulevard to see what is out at the car lots that you might like.” I was excited but a little unsettled.
My parents were very aware of the exact car I wanted already. I had pictures of the car stuck to the front of the refrigerator by magnets in that very moment. I decided not to stress about them obviously not approving of my pick. I sped the ritual of sit down dinner so that I could set my sights on what would be my new set of wheels in a matter of days. I ran into my bedroom and changed into cute knee sweatpants and a simple t-shirt with a sweatshirt over it. When I returned to the kitchen where the door was that led to the garage, my parents were embraced in a hug. I thought for a moment how lucky I was to have parents that were still together and truly loved each other.
Keys in hand to my mom’s truck we all filed out to the three car garage. In between my mom’s pearl colored Cadillac Escalade and my dad’s black Benz was a bright yellow VW bug. The car even had the head light eyelash accents already in place. I had planned to buy them the first chance I could get after I got the keys to my dream car. I am sure the neighbors thought I was being brutally attacked because I could not contain my screams of excitement. Me jumping up and down, grabbing both my mom and dad into hugs the caused us all to bump foreheads, chin’s, and almost trip over each other. It was a beautiful family scene in the garage.
“Babe, I think this means she likes it?” My mom nudged my dad with an elbow.
“Liking it is an understatement, sweetheart.” My daddy smiled with pride.
“Why are we standing here talking, let’s take this baby for a spin!” I grabbed the beautiful key ring that held the even more beautiful remote controlled key to my new wheels.
We all piled into the car and drove around the neighborhood before we decided to go to Dairy Queen for desert. When my dad exited the passenger side of the car, he hurried to the driver’s side. Helping me out of the car first and then helping my mom out of the back seat. They both complimented on the expert way I had driven the car at night. We looked the part of a perfect family of three when we stepped to the counter to order.
I was shocked to see Sasha working the register and she didn’t look excited to see me either. I gave her a warm smile while she seemed as though she wanted to slip to the floor and hide under the counter. I couldn’t understand her vibe. In school that day she had appeared to have all the confidence in the world, where was that confidence now. I took the initiative to speak to her first since she had not introduced herself as knowing me from school nor that she worked for Dairy Queen.
“Hi Sasha, these are my parents. My mom, Angel and my dad, Ryan.”
I couldn’t help but notice how embarrassed she appeared to be.
Her cheeks were even turning red. Maybe it wasn’t a good idea to introduce her to my parents. I don’t know why she would feel that way, but I was raised a certain way. No matter what kind of job she had or why she needed to have a job, it wasn’t any of my business. I was mature enough to know not all kids were blessed to have wealthy parents. Some kids didn’t have their dad living at home with them. I hoped she knew I wouldn’t look down on her. I decided to place my order and get out of her eyesight.
“I am going to have a banana split with strawberry topping only. Just the banana, ice cream, and strawberry topping that’s it.”
My mom ordered a cookies and cream blizzard while my dad splurged on triple cone with vanilla, chocolate, and strawberry ice cream.
Then everything faded into a rainbow of colors; the room, the food, the people. Everything looked as though it was being tie died right before my eyes.
64
The dream had been so real that time. My dreams were the only time I had the opportunity to feel the love of being a teenaged girl with normal parents. I let out a deep sigh. No kid should have to dream about being able to live the simple life of just being a regular kid.
“Oh well, at least all was well in my dreams.” The realness of the dream had hurt my feelings.
I wasn’t one to question God about the path he has set for me, but some answers would be nice. I was in the position to let him use me as a living vessel and a dwelling place for his spirit. God’s grace was first priority to me even though my little brothers and sister were close behind him on my list. I vowed I would remain a virgin until I got married. I had never even had a kiss on the check from a boy. Boys were not even on my mind at all. I was probably the only seventeen year old who could honestly say that.
I had all the space and opportunity in the world to be reckless girl just like Angel had been, but I had used her life as an example of what not to become. I talked to Zina constantly on keeping herself pure as well. The twins felt that Zina and I were the only girls they could ever tolerate, so that speech would be wasted on them at this time.
The hot pink alarm clock continued to scream at me from the night stand. It was time to go about my Father’s business once again. There were people who depended on me to remain level headed and responsible the way an adult parent should. I was indeed seventeen years old now. And my life was nowhere near normal, it had never been normal. I wasn’t a cry baby, so there was no need for me to stay deep in my feelings this morning. It was a new day and I had tons of work to do. I got out of bed bone tired but I could not be worried about that either.
I went into my bathroom, plugged up the curling iron and began to get freshened up. When I came out of the bathroom I made my bed and cleaned up my already straight room. While I was cleaning, I was mentally preparing a school outfit for me for the day. It was Friday and would be my last day of school before spring break. When I returned to school this time, it would be to begin to bask in the glow of being a senior with more than enough credits to graduate. My year was officially done as a student.
Just the year before on this very day my life had changed in all the wa
ys I prayed it would. The quality of life for the kids and I had changed for the better. Our future finally looked bright and we were all excited about what the future held for us all. Between the four of us, we were all set to achieve great things to benefit each other in the long run. There was nothing that could burst my happiness bubble. By routine I slipped down onto my knees. I had to thank God for allowing me to rest peacefully and for keeping my home safe through the night. I finished talking to God and then went on bout my day with a smile on my face.
I had a routine and it wasn’t time for me to get dressed yet so I went into the kitchen and began to fix lunches. My brothers and sister lunchboxes were sitting on the countertop just as they should waiting to be filled. I opened the refrigerator, pulled out all kinds of sandwich meat and fresh fruit. I fixed three nutritious lunches, snacks, and juice boxes and water bottle. I topped each box with a small treat for each of them.
I then placed each lunch box matching it to the book bag it belonged in. I had already signed all conduct folders the night before, so I zipped up all three of the book-bags. I then pulled three different boxes of cereal from the pantry closet. I poured milk into three separate bowls and sat the spoons on the counter top. As I was breaking off the paper towels from the roll, the party started in the kitchen. My now eleven year old twin brothers, Trae and Taj stormed into the kitchen like the speed devils they were. Our nine year old baby, much calmer sister Zina, followed them as if she were zombie sleep walking.
“Morning love bugs! Did you guys sleep okay?” I gave each of them a kiss on the forehead. They made me smile because I never got a rejection from showing them love even though they were getting older.
“Yea, I slept good.” From Trae.
“Thanks for replacing the bulb on my night light.” From Zina.
“I slept ok.” From Taj.
“Ok, you know the drill you guys eat breakfast while I get ready. Did you all pick out school clothes before you came down right?” I looked into each of their beautiful bi-racial faces.