Heart of the Druid Laird

by Barbara Longley

  Dermot belonged here in this castle in the Highlands. His men would always come first, and it was time for her to return home to her own life and family. If Mairéad’s memories had taught her anything, it was that she wasn’t willing to waste any more time loving a man who wouldn’t or couldn’t love her back. Nothing less than total unconditional love would ever do for her.

  She slipped out of the room unnoticed. She should feel ecstatic. Instead, lethargy and numbness overtook her. The past three weeks had been hellish, and it all caught up to her the moment Dermot had put the goblet to his lips. The overwhelming exhaustion dragged her down to a place she’d never been before. It was a wonder she could place one foot in front of the other to climb the stairs and walk down the hall.

  Compared to what she’d been through in the past couple of weeks, the fears she used to have about the future were insignificant. She’d faced death and survived. Nobody could tell her she lacked abilities. No matter what, she’d succeed—after a week’s worth of sleep, that is.

  Opening the door to the turret suite, she headed straight for her purse and took out the certified check Dermot had given her. She placed it on the table next to the hearth where he would surely find it. Glancing down, she caught sight of his precise signature at the bottom. Her heart wrenched, and a tear trickled down her cheek. How bizarre, to have your heart broken by the same man in two different lifetimes.

  Dermot lifted his goblet, toasted his men and drank down the antidote the king had handed him. By the time he’d downed the contents, Dagda Mór had disappeared.

  His body tingled, and ecstasy surged through him. On the heels of the ecstasy came mind-reeling possibilities. Choice. Sidney had gifted him with something he’d never had before. Joy filled his entire body. He wanted to go to her, but the moment he set the goblet down, his men surrounded him to slap his back and shake his hand. He watched Sidney slip out of the hall without even glancing his way. Thomas and Zoe soon followed.

  Conversation flowed around him as each man sang Sidney’s praises and discussed what they would do with their lives now that they were mortal. Dermot shook his head. A few days ago, the same group had demanded he end their wretched existence.

  “I’m young, rich and exceedingly handsome,” Liam boasted. “I plan to make up for lost time with the lasses. After a few years, I’ll settle down and raise a family. I know exactly what kind of woman I want for a wife too. She’ll be smart, independent, beautiful, and she’ll worship the ground I walk on.”

  “It’s no’ likely a smart woman is going to worship the ground you walk on, lad. Best go for a dull-witted lass,” Lachlan teased.

  Murmurs of wives, bairns and homes circulated around the room. Laughter and jibes filled the air. His men were happy, and they had Sidney to thank. Dermot sobered as he remembered the four who were no longer with them. He gave a shrill whistle, and his men quieted down. “Now we celebrate, but we canna forget those we’ve lost. Tomorrow we’ll hold a wake. In the meantime, I expect each of you to make your gratitude known to Sidney. If it weren’t for her bravery and wit, we’d still be cursed.”

  “Aye.” Donald stepped forward. “We all saw the way she stood up to Áine and the king.”

  “Did you see the expression on Dagda Mór’s face when she called him Poppa Mór?” Liam asked. “He sees his granddaughter when he looks at our lass.”

  “Our lass?” Dermot grinned.

  “Aye. Sidney belongs to our clan. Go after her, Laird.” Lachlan shoved his shoulder. “We do no’ want to lose her.”

  He lifted his fist in the air and shouted a cry of victory at the top of his lungs. His men joined in until the stone walls reverberated with their tumult. Laughing, he left his men to their celebration and headed up the stairs to claim his love.

  Sidney had turned his life upside down, breached his defenses and stolen his heart. No small feat that. She possessed the heart of a warrior equal to any he’d ever known. Now all he had to do was convince her that she belonged with him. He paused by her door to calm himself. The door was unlocked. He entered quietly.

  A broom and dust bin leaned against one wall where a pile of broken china had been swept into a pile. Had Sidney broken them? Her back was turned to him, and her duffel bag lay open on the bed. She folded clothing and stuffed them inside.

  “Zoe?” she asked without turning. “I’ve called the airport in London and booked my flight home. Will you and Thomas—”

  “You’ve no’ forgiven me, then.”

  Sidney jumped. Turning to face him, she covered her heart with her hands and stared at him with puffy, red eyes.

  He lost the power of speech, and his mind went blank. All he wanted to do was drink in the sight of her and hold her in his arms. Seconds stretched past as they stared at each other. Mortal now, those seconds counted for something. Dermot shook himself. “You’re packing. Did you intend to leave without saying goodbye?”

  “You were busy.” She shrugged. “It’s such a huge moment for all of you, I didn’t want to interrupt or intrude.”

  “Intrude? If it weren’t for you, we’d still be cursed.” He swallowed hard. “You hold all of Mairéad’s memories?”

  She nodded. “Since reliving her murder. I think my two lives kind of fused or something.”

  “I let her down in the worst possible way. I wouldn’t blame you if you never forgave me.”

  Frowning, she studied him. “How do you think you let Mairéad down?”

  “She begged me to take our babe from her womb as she lay dying. I failed her.” Dermot felt awkward in his own body. The guilt and shame he’d carried all these years twisted him up inside until he couldn’t look at her. “I canna forgive myself, and I do no’ believe Mairéad would forgive me either.”

  “You’re such an idiot.” Sidney turned back to her packing.

  Not the response he’d expected, though he didn’t doubt her for an instant. “An idiot?”

  “Yep, a total moron.”

  When she offered nothing more, his nerves began to unravel. “Care to explain?”

  “Why would you think Mairéad would hold a grudge over something you couldn’t control? You never needed her forgiveness. The child was yours too. Don’t you think she knew how you grieved? Besides, you weren’t the one who put the dagger between her ribs. She never blamed you for anything that happened.” She drew in a deep breath. “That’s not how you let her down.”

  “How then?” Dermot’s mind reeled.

  “Mairéad loved you.” She sighed. “You never loved her back. And it’s…” Her lips compressed into a tight line.

  “Finish what you were going to say.” Dermot took a step nearer and searched her face, desperate to understand what she was thinking.

  “I’ve never been able to give my heart to anyone,” she blurted. “And it’s all your fault.” Sidney bit her bottom lip and averted her gaze.

  “My fault? How so?” He held his breath.

  “All my life I’ve been waiting for you to find me.” She stepped away. “You see…” She picked up a T-shirt from the bed, and started to fold it, giving him her back.

  “Nay, I do no’ see anything. I need you to spell it out for me.”

  “Mairéad never stopped loving you.”

  “And?”

  She shrugged. “And that whole sad state of affairs has somehow transferred to me.”

  He wanted to laugh out loud. “Loving me is a sad state of affairs, is it?”

  “I’m not Mairéad.” She spun around to face him. “Don’t think for a single minute that I’m going to moon over you the way she did. I don’t intend to keep loving a man who doesn’t love me back.”

  “I wouldn’t expect you to.”

  “Good.” With a heavy sigh, she zipped her duffel.

  “Are you no’ going to ask me why I chose to live?”

  “Nope.”

  “I intend to tell you anyway.”

  She let out an exasperated sigh. “If you must.”

  “
I know you believe Mairéad gave me no choice other than to marry her. You’re wrong.”

  “But I remember how she pestered you and dogged your trail until you relented.” Confusion clouded her face. “She had supernatural powers.”

  “I remember, as well.” He grinned. “I loved every minute of it. What such a beautiful, gentle, loving woman ever saw in me I’ll never understand.” He shook his head. “Mairéad never forced me into anything I didn’t already want, lass. I just didn’t know how to deal with it or how to identify what I was feeling. It was far easier to rationalize that I married her for the alliance she brought to our clan.”

  “Oh.” Her brow furrowed.

  “I loved my wife. Though what I felt for her is quite different from what I feel for you.”

  “Why didn’t you ever tell her?” Sidney’s eyes filled with tears. “She longed to hear those words from you. I can still feel the hurt deep inside me.”

  “Because I am an idiot. Think about how I was raised.” He moved closer to wipe the tears from her eyes. “My uncles drilled it into my head never to let a woman get to me the way my mother got to my father. Their anger toward him for giving me away shaped my beliefs. The Druid priests were ascetics. They never taught me about the interactions between the sexes. I never witnessed the love between a husband and wife until I was fully grown and had returned to my clan. How could I express what I felt when I didn’t even recognize what the emotion was?”

  He watched as she considered everything he’d said. “I want to thank you for what you did for my men and for me. You gave us back our lives.”

  She waved her hand in the air in a dismissive gesture. He caught it, bringing her palm to rest over his heart. “Don’t you want to know why I chose to live a mortal life?” Putting his free arm around her waist, he drew her close. She tilted her head back to look into his eyes, her expression a mixture of hope and vulnerability. He brushed his lips across hers, and whispered, “Ask, mo anam.”

  “Okay, why did you choose life?”

  “Because I want you.” She made a huffing sound and tried to pull away from him. He hid his smile and tightened his hold. He did understand one thing about his love—wanting wasn’t enough. “I love you with all of my heart and soul. I chose to live because I want to spend my life with you. I chose you.”

  Her breath hitched, and she studied him as if gauging his words and testing their truthfulness.

  “I intend to prove how much I love you every day for the rest of our lives—if you’ll have me, that is.” Never had anything meant so much to him as this moment, never had he allowed himself to be so exposed and vulnerable. Offering up his heart to Sidney was the bravest thing he’d ever done. She was worth the risk. He stood over an abyss and waited for the drop. What if she turned him down, and he had to spend the rest of his miserable life without her? “I can’t imagine a life without you beside me.”

  Sidney said nothing, and his heart skipped a beat or three. Maybe he hadn’t asked properly. Dermot dropped to one knee in front of her and held her hands in his. “I don’t have a ring yet. I thought someone would be sweeping my remains up off the dining hall floor about now.”

  “Dermot—”

  “I’m begging you to marry me.” He placed his heart and hopes into her hands. His breath held, he waited to hear his fate.

  An hour ago she had feared Dermot would choose death. Now the love of her life knelt before her and proposed marriage. She was having trouble catching up.

  “You’re no’ saying anything. You do no’ want me.” Dermot dropped her hands and rose from the floor. “I understand.”

  “Again with the stupid.” She rolled her eyes. “I do want you. I’m just…still trying to adjust to the shock.”

  “Then say yes.”

  Dermot drew her into his arms, and her whole body relaxed. This was where she belonged and where she longed to be, safe and cherished in his arms. “Yes.”

  His tender kiss sent joy straight to her soul. Mairéad’s old wound healed for good, and the voice in her head grew silent. She sensed she’d never hear it again, and in her mind, she bid her other self goodbye.

  Dermot whispered in her ear, “I was thinking a Christmas wedding would be a fine thing.”

  “This Christmas, as in a few short weeks from today?”

  “Aye.” He gave her a wicked grin. “I have staff.”

  The look on his face sent a frisson of desire spiraling through her. “What about my store? I don’t want to give that up. It’s important to me.”

  Dermot lifted her chin so that their eyes met. His earnest expression melted her heart.

  “I am no’ asking you to give anything up for me, love. I’m only asking for the privilege of standing by your side for the rest of my life. It’s up to you. We’ll live in the States, or if you prefer, we can live here. I have properties all over Europe. Wherever you want to go, whatever you choose to do, I’ll be right beside you.”

  “Oh, Dermot.” She threw her arms around his neck. “We don’t have to decide today.” He lifted her off her feet and twirled her around. Sidney threw her head back and laughed, unable to contain her happiness. “We have the rest of our lives, and most likely the next.”

  “I’ll love you forever, Sidney, no matter how many lifetimes we share.”

  About the Author

  Barbara grew up in a litter of five, and each of her siblings was born in a different state. Moving around so frequently, she learned early on how to entertain herself with stories. As an adult, she has lived on a commune in the Appalachians, taught on an Indian reservation and traveled from coast to coast. When her own children came along, Ms. Longley decided to try something new—staying put. She has made Minnesota her home ever since.

  By day, Barbara teaches young children how to read. She holds a master’s in education, and has taught elementary education for many years. By night, she likes to explore things mythical, metaphysical and paranormal. Much of what she learns makes its way into her stories, where all things are possible. While she loves teaching, reading and writing are her passions.

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  ISBN: 978-1-4268-9227-1

  Copyright © 2011 by Barbara Longley

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  All characters in this book have no existence outside the imagination of the author and have no relation whatsoever to anyone bearing the same name or names. They are not even distantly inspired by any individual known or unknown to the author, and all incidents are pure invention.

  This edition published by arrangement with Harlequin Books S.A.

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