Kaleidoscope

by Mindy Hayes

  “Beats me.” Kai stopped his melody for only a second and shrugged, then instantly went back to playing that irksome flute.

  “There’s no way of knowing,” Declan replied evenly.

  “So they could just show up while I’m at school?”

  “Well, I assume it will be a gradual thing like your ears,” Declan said. “How long did it take for your ears to become full size?”

  “About a day.”

  He nodded. “You’ll be able to feel a difference when your wings come in. It won’t be the same as your ears. You’ve always had ears. You’ve never had wings. I’m not sure you’ll be able to hide them as well as you’ve hidden those, though.”

  “What about my dad?” I questioned. “Since he’s not a faery anymore, can’t I do what he did? Can’t I stop the process? Kill the faery inside of me?”

  Declan looked pained when I asked my last question and I realized how morbid it sounded. “I don’t think so,” he said softly. His arms twitched at his side as if he contemplated reaching out to me, but thought better of it. “You’re in transition. You can’t stop the transformation from happening. If you tried, you’d die. Once it’s finished—most likely months from now, maybe longer—if you decide you don’t want this life, you could probably transform back into a human.” The look on his face revealed he hated that idea, but he was trying to remain neutral. “But, Calliope, everything is so unknown with you. It’s possible being half and half keeps you from transforming to one or the other at all. Even if you tried you might not survive the transformation. Would you really want to risk that?”

  The flickering hope that burned like a fire inside of me was immediately extinguished as I shook my head. “There’s really no other way.”

  Declan was silent now.

  Kai got to his feet and walked to me, casually draping his arm around my shoulder. “Oh, it’s not so bad, princess. It’s actually kind of a thrill to be a faery. You’ll see.”

  I did my best to ignore his closeness, the warmth of his sinewy body at my side. “How does Faylinn make decisions anyway? I thought Faylinn was a place,” I said.

  I watched Declan look to Kai and his arm around me, sharing a stare that seemed meaningful somehow and then he found my eyes again. “It is, but it’s more than just a place. It’s the enchanting power over all the faeries. Faylinn makes us what we are. It’s like the all-mighty power. We answer to it.”

  Kai gradually removed his arm as if finding himself and stepped far away from me. I fought against the initial void it left me with.

  My eyes flickered to Kai but he wasn’t looking at me so I turned my attention back to Declan. “It talks?”

  “No. No, it’s nothing like that,” he chuckled lightly. “It’s simply a state of being. It’s just there, like the wind and the air we breathe. You can’t see it, but you can feel it.”

  “Are you guys a bunch of hippies?” It would make sense as to how they dressed, all natural and simple.

  “A hippie?”

  “Yeah, you know. . .love, peace and harmony.” I held up two peace signs.

  “Well, of course we want all those things. Who wouldn’t?” Declan held up his fingers and Kai followed, trying to make sense of my hand gestures.

  “What are you trying to do with your hands?” Kai asked. “Bunny ears?” He wiggled his fingers.

  I shook my head. “Never mind. You two are hopeless.”

  “Calliope, we’re from different worlds,” Declan said, dropping his hand. “Of course we’re not going to understand every little detail about one another. But that’s what we’re here for. We want to help make sense of our world to you, so you know what you are. Where you come from.”

  “But I don’t want to be what you are. Doesn’t anyone see that?”

  “Hasn’t anyone ever told you life isn’t fair?” Kai sounded like he was scolding me. “Get over it, princess. You’re a faery.”

  I wanted to scream, but I held it inside. I could be mature about this. But he was just so. . .so. . .

  “Calliope,” Declan prompted before I punched Kai in the face. He had good timing. “I’m sorry this isn’t what you wanted. I understand that it’s hard to accept something that your whole life you’ve been told is a tale. But, I would like to help make it right. Help you understand that being a faery isn’t a curse.”

  It was easy for him say. He hadn’t been told he was faery only a few weeks ago. But I kept my negativity to myself. He was right whether I wanted to admit it or not. It was time to start learning about faeries. It was time to stop wallowing in self-pity and accept what I was.

  “Thank you, Declan.”

  He shrugged. “It’s what I’m here for.”

  “I told my best friend Cameron,” I blurted. I wasn’t sure why I felt like I needed to confess that, but there it was. Out in the open.

  “Calliope.” Declan placed his hand over his face and sighed.

  “Faery basics, princess,” Kai said. “You don’t reveal our species to humans. Has your dad taught you nothing?”

  “No, he did,” I rushed on. “But Cameron saw my ears and I couldn’t hide them from him. He won’t tell anyone. I know it,” I tried to plead my case. “He’ll do everything he can to protect me.”

  “Did you tell your dad that you told Cameron?” Declan asked.

  “I haven’t gotten the chance yet, but I don’t think he’d be too happy with me if he knew.”

  “How do you know Cameron can be trusted? Humans can never be trusted,” Kai emphasized every word.

  “My mom is human and she’s trustworthy. Why do humans have to be deceitful? It’s not as if you faeries have been the most forthcoming.”

  “It’s not that they are all deceitful it’s that they can’t grasp the idea of our existence,” Declan intervened. “They could become fixated or violent. It’s not pretty either way.”

  “You sound as if you know from experience,” I said.

  Declan rubbed the back of his neck, seeming uncomfortable. “I’ve heard stories. We’ve had a few situations occur with male faeries luring human woman. They didn’t do it maliciously, only out of curiosity, but things got a little out of hand.”

  “Well that was the faeries own fault for using Enticement,” I exclaimed.

  “Enticement doesn’t work on humans. Humans simply can’t resist us,” Kai said.

  “Cocky much?”

  Kai chuckled, but didn’t deny it.

  “It’s true, Calliope,” Declan backed up Kai again. “Or from what I’ve heard anyway. It’s why we tend to just stay away. It’s safer for all parties.”

  “Well Cameron is different. He hasn’t become fixated with me.” I would have noticed and I wouldn’t have minded if he had.

  “You forget. You’re only half. It might make you affect humans differently or not have an effect at all,” Declan said.

  “Can’t you put on some enchantment that does the opposite of Enticement or something?”

  They both chuckled, which made me feel foolish. They couldn’t expect me to know everything. “We can do a ruse here and an enchantment there, but we’re not all-powerful. We can’t do whatever we want,” Declan clarified.

  I sighed. “Well, I told Cameron and I can’t take it back, so now what?”

  “Nothing,” Declan said. “We just have to hope that he’s one of the few humans who can be trusted.”

  It really got under my skin to hear them question my best friend. They didn’t know him. They didn’t know me. It didn’t matter that they had watched me for years or whatever. That meant they knew my routines and basic information, but they didn’t know me. I knew they had their reasons, but if anyone could be trusted with my secret it was Cameron.

  “So this is it? For the rest of my existence, I’ll be a faery and no one else can

  know about me?”

  “I’m sorry, Calliope,” Declan said.

  I clenched my fists and exhaled. “All right. Teach me everything I need to

  know
.”

  Chapter Twelve

  I noticed that the more time I spent in the woodlands, the easier it was to keep the yearning at bay. It was satisfied as long as I made an appearance in the trees. That discovery was a relief, but it also made me feel trapped. I’d never be able to live a day without the trees. I was tied to Faylinn for better or for worse now.

  Every day I anticipated my wings’ arrival, but they didn’t show. Would they look like butterfly wings? Or maybe a flower? Were they going to glitter or shine? Or would they be gossamer and sheer? What if they were going to be too huge to cover up? If they were, my dad would surely be more worried about it and have said as much. But then again there really was no telling what information that man was going to give up.

  The four of us sat on the lawn for lunch. Cameron and Isla sat next to one another, cross-legged, sharing chips and whispering to one another. The whispering stopped getting old and now it was just another day with the lovebirds. It had been a week and Cameron had kept my secret so far. It wasn’t hard to, I suppose we rarely hung out, never giving him a chance to accidently spill the beans.

  Out of the corner of my eye I saw Lia snag a hand full of grass and yank, tearing the strands to bits.

  “Don’t pick at the grass,” I reprimanded.

  Lia looked at me, puzzled. I wasn’t sure why I had said it. It wasn’t as if I thought plants had feelings or anything, but the thought of nature being torn and picked apart quirked my nerves. Nature was my home no matter where I went. I was turning into such a faery.

  “Whoa, hadn’t realized I would offend anyone.”

  “You didn’t,” I retracted. “I don’t know why I said that. Pick all the grass you want.”

  Lia eyed me curiously. “I have to go to the bathroom,” she sighed, getting to her feet. I wanted to follow, but at the same time I knew I needed to keep my distance. Why did I have to say that?

  “Oh, me too,” Isla chimed in. “Wait for me.” She stood up and grabbed her backpack. They walked side by side to the school doors.

  “Do you plan on ever telling Lia?” Cameron’s voice was slightly reproachful, as if he knew he was treading treacherous waters.

  I looked over to him. “Cameron, I wasn’t even going to tell you. I can’t keep telling people.”

  “But you spend more time with her than me now. And you don’t really hide the fact that you’re changing very well. It’s not just your appearance anymore, which by the way, is definitely noticeable. Half the guys in the hall are stopping just to watch you walk by.” There was a tone in his voice I couldn’t place. A tone he’d never used with me before.

  Was it jealousy?

  “Whatever,” I said, blushing a little, but brushing him off. And he was wrong. I hadn’t been spending more time with Lia than him. I’d been spending more time with the Keepers, but I didn’t correct him. “It’s a need to know basis. I’m going to involve the least amount of people necessary. The necessary ones being my dad, you and the Keepers. It’s safer this way.”

  “The Keepers?” Cameron squinted, unfamiliar with the term that had become a part of my daily vocabulary.

  “Yeah, Kai and Declan,” I said. “They are the faeries that introduced me to this world in the first place.”

  “A couple of dudes, huh?” he said, half chuckling.

  “Well, someone’s got to help the women procreate. Did you think all faeries were just a bunch of girls flitting about in frilly dresses?”

  He shrugged sheepishly. “I just never pictured a dude with wings.”

  “They don’t have wings,” I contended. Since when did I become so defensive about the fae?

  “How do they fly then?”

  “Faery magic,” I said blandly. “I don’t know. I’ve never seen them fly. I don’t think they do fly. They can just jump really high and far, like an acrobat or something.”

  “Will you be able to fly?”

  It suddenly dawned on me how little I knew about being a faery. Did they fly? Would I be able to use Enticement as well? Did they have any other abilities? What kind of houses did they live in? The questions were piling up and I knew I would make my head explode if I kept thinking about them.

  “I don’t know. We haven’t gotten that far in my faery education,” I said dryly, but my weariness shined through.

  Cameron chuckled. He could obviously see my discouragement because he said, “Callie, it’ll all come to you. You’ll learn everything eventually. Give it time.”

  I heaved a sigh. “It’s like being born all over again, but instead of having years to learn how to walk and eat and talk, I’m being throw into a world that I know nothing about and am expected to know everything right away.”

  “I wouldn’t be too worried about it. You have time, right? It’s not like you’re being quizzed about it or have to move to your faery kingdom tomorrow.”

  I glared at him, silencing him just in time for Lia and Isla to come back.

  “It’s getting chilly, Cam. Can we go inside?” Isla asked.

  “Sure.” He stood up and dusted off his pants. “We’ll see you ladies later.”

  “See ya,” I said.

  “Bye,” Lia said. When they were back in the school, Lia turned to me. “You and Cameron have been getting chummier since they started dating. I told you phase one would eventually start to fade.”

  I had almost forgotten Lia’s relationship theory. “He’s still head over heels. But it’s okay.” I shrugged, taking a sip from my water bottle. “I’m getting over it.” And I was. Well, at least to the point of realizing I had bigger things to worry about than my love life.

  She laughed. “If that’s not the biggest load of crap I’ve ever heard come out of your mouth I don’t know what is.” I shifted my gaze to her. “I might not be telepathic, but I wasn’t born yesterday either. You still look at him the same way, Callie. You’re still one hundred percent smitten.”

  “Great,” I said. “Glad I haven’t miraculously been nominated for an Oscar for my acting skills.”

  She snorted and shoved me. “Don’t worry. As obvious as it is to me, I don’t think he knows. He’s charming, but he’s not a jerk. He wouldn’t string you along if he knew your feelings.”

  “I know. How else do you think I’ve been able to be friends with him for the last six years?”

  “He loves you, you know?”

  I nodded. Just not in the same way I love him.

  • • •

  “Going with pigtails today. I like it,” Dad said when he materialized in my doorway. I leaned against my headboard working on an assignment for calculus.

  “I figured Pippi Longstocking wanted her braids back.”

  He chuckled. “I didn’t mind the braids. They remind me of when your mom would put braids in your hair when you were little.” He regarded me with that you’re-growing-up-too-fast look before breathing a sigh. “Your creativity is becoming noticeable though. Mom mentioned it last night,” he said regrettably.

  “Well I can’t risk just leaving my hair down like I used to, Dad. You know that.”

  He came to sit at the end of my bed by my feet. “Have you put any more thought into going to Faylinn?”

  “No. Why would I?”

  He sat wordlessly for a moment, considering something before he spoke. “It might make things easier,” he commented softly.

  “Easier for who? Don’t you think Mom would notice if her only daughter went missing?” I expressed myself with probably a little more attitude than was necessary.

  “Easier for you,” he said gently. “And I would obviously tell your mother before anything progressed that far.”

  He didn’t know what he was saying. He couldn’t possibly think I would want to live in Faylinn under the ruling of someone like Favner. It was no wonder my dad left in the first place. It wasn’t just romantic. It was smart, maybe his only way of survival.

  “Dad, Favner. . .Favner is evil. I don’t want to live in a place that—”

  “Fa
vner?” Dad said the name like it was foreign on his tongue. “Favner is ruling Faylinn?”

  “Has he not always?” Did I know more about Faylinn than my dad?

  Dad shook his head, but didn’t say anything more.

  “Well, Favner is ruling now and everyone is divided up and forced to work these tiresome jobs day or night, rain or shine. They are slaves and I would have to become a Nester.”

  “What do you mean have to?” The look in my dad’s eyes was unreadable. “What’s a Nester?”

  “Nesters are ordered to carry the seedlings. Do you know what that would mean for me?”

  The look on my dad’s face shifted from unreadable to furiously confused. “What do you mean Nesters are forced to reproduce? What about Craftsmen and Keepers? What about Sowers?”

  Why didn’t he know any of this? What had it been like when he was in Faylinn? “They have their duties to focus on. Favner couldn’t afford for all jobs to be overlooked, I guess.”

  “What if a member of another colony gets pregnant?” he asked, a heated undertone coating his voice.

  I hadn’t thought that far to ask that question. But if Favner’s way of ruling was any indication, I didn’t want to know because I could only imagine the measures Favner would take for punishment. I shrugged timidly and shook my head.

  “I don’t know,” I said.

  He stood up from my bed and began to pace. In all the years of my life, I had never seen my dad this angry. He didn’t say anything more and I sat silently until his pace slowed and his breathing was back to normal. My dad finally looked at me and if I wasn’t mistaken I saw his eyes glisten by the light as if there were tears threatening to spill over.

  “Dad, I can’t live in a place that would turn me into a slave,” I said quietly.

  “And I wouldn’t ask you to. We’ll find a way to keep you safe.” He turned to my door, but before he exited my room he said, “Don’t stay up too late, Calliope. Six thirty will come around before you know it.”

  I nodded even though he couldn’t see me because I couldn’t force my mouth to make any more words. I didn’t know what to make of his reaction. What had it been like when my dad lived in Faylinn? Who ruled back then and why wasn’t he ruling now?