“Fuck,” he yells.
“Yes, more.”
I push my hips down to meet his, and as I do heat starts to rise within me and I know I’m going to go over the edge any minute now.
“Liam, oh my god Liam,” I breathe out.
Squeezing my eyes shut, I throw my head back hitting it on the wall in the process, but not registering any pain as my second orgasm of the night rips through my body making my legs squeeze tighter around his waist.
No sooner as I’ve clenched my muscles around him, he’s pulling out of me and shooting his load all over my belly. His eyes firmly shut tight.
“God, Fuck. Yeah, Steph.”
Chapter Fifteen
Liam
“God, fuck. Yeah Steph.”
The second the words leave my mouth, I know I’ve fucked up.
My body stills completely, I daren’t move a muscle.
My eyes are still clenched shut. Too afraid of what I will see when I open them, because I know it’s not going to be the orgasmic glow I was aiming for when I barged in here tonight.
My dick very quickly shrivels up, and at the sight of it, if I hadn’t just called out my dead ex's name during sex with her sister, I’d be embarrassed.
I can hear Mel panting; her chest is pounding against mine other than that she’s like a statue and hasn’t said a single word.
Maybe she didn’t hear me?
Wishful thinking on my behalf I guess.
I didn’t come here to hurt her and I’ve done exactly that. Shame washes over me and in an instant I’m pushing her legs from around my hips and dragging my jeans back up, tucking myself back in. Not once do I look at her or say anything and neither does she.
Foregoing my t-shirt, I choose to leave it there. I don’t know where it went after she dragged it from my body and I don’t want to hang around to look for it. I just want to get the hell out of there… and fast.
Taking the few steps to the front door, I open it, but stop as I go to walk through it, holding on to the frame for support.
“I’m sorry,” I whisper over my shoulder, I don't look at her, I can't bring myself to do so. Finally over the threshold I close the door on what I will later realize will be the biggest mistake of my life.
Unable to go back to Allie and Connors after what I’ve just done, I drive around the streets of London, destination unknown. Why did I have to go and call her Steph? More importantly, why did I think that my plan to fuck her out of my system was a good fucking idea in the first place?
Now I’ve just made shit a hundred times worse, just when we were starting to get along.
Connor is definitely going to murder me when he finds out and if he doesn’t Allie will, it depends on who gets their hands on me first.
Blasting the heaters on full pelt in my car, trying my best to keep myself warm, seeing as I left my t-shirt behind in a rush to leave, I decide I need to go home.
I need to go and make a confession.
Pulling up to the curb outside my townhouse, I look out the window and blow out a breath. How has my life gotten so complicated? I've gone from just living in my own head all the time, just existing, to going completely insane trying to kill myself and now… well now I’m just fucked up. How many people can say they've shouted their dead girlfriend’s name out as they shoot their load? I can't think of any. Not one comes to mind.
Realising I need to get in from the cold, I shut the engine off and climb out, locking it up with the key fob, I make my way inside. Once I’m in I find myself looking around, for what I haven't a clue. I run my hands through my hair, tugging at it in frustration, but in doing so, it only reminds me of Melissa and what I was doing to her, which was making her pull on it.
My memory of the lust, the pure want I saw in her eyes cripples me as I stand in my hallway.
Storming up the stairs, I unlock the room the guys found me in and are yet to ask me about. Not bothering to shut the door, rage starts to bubble in my veins as I look at the face gracing the walls.
“Why?” I scream. “This is all your fault, you told me to go. You told me to leave, I didn’t want to leave you; you were my life. Now I’ve fucked your sister who more than likely hates me, more than she already did.”
My temper getting the better of me, I start to rip the wallpaper off the walls, screaming ‘why’ the entire time. Collapsing to the floor, exhaustion takes over my body and I start to cry.
I cry for what I left behind.
I cry because Steph died, leaving me all alone and because she didn't allow me to fix everything.
I cry for the mess my life has become, but mostly I cry for the fact that I didn’t just ruin one Wright girl, I've ruined them both.
Through my blurry, tear filled eyes, I look around the room and see the mess I’ve made. Steph's face is all distorted where I’ve ripped the paper, yet I’ve still left some attached to the wall. It's like she's taunting me, making me pay for all the wrong decisions I’ve made in life. Even though fucking her sister the way I did probably wasn't my best decision, not one ounce of me regrets doing it.
For the first time in a very long time I felt whole, complete.
Chapter Sixteen
Melissa
Sliding down the wall, naked and cold, I start to wail.
Heart wrenching sobs wrack my body as my bum thumps to the floor. I lift my legs up to my chest and place my arms on my knees, feeling his sticky essence still on my body.
Steph!!!
He called me Steph. I was just a substitute for the real thing. The entire time he was inside me he was clearly thinking about her.
Tramp.
Tart.
Easy.
Just a few words that come to mind when I think about how I willingly allowed him to take me. He was more than likely looking at me the way he used to look at her, yet when he looked at me his eyes were intense. It was like he was seeing me, and I believed for those few moments that he actually wanted me and not my dead sister.
The second her name left his luscious lips I knew there and then, I was wrong, completely wrong. It was all in my head, just me and my wishful thinking. Wishful thoughts that he really wanted me, for me and not as a substitute for his first love. Now I know I will never compare to her in his eyes, I’ll be forever in the shadow of Steph’s pedestal that is so high, I’ll never be able to reach the top.
Anger and humiliation take over my body, causing me to shake. Staggering to my feet I rush to the table I have on the opposite wall. Taking the vase that’s on it, I pick it up and throw it across the room, smashing it on the floor with so much force, that for a minute I think I’m having some sort of outer body experience. There’s shards of glass, flowers and water everywhere, and my breathing has become laboured, my hands won’t stop shaking.
“Arrgh,” I scream out in my empty hallway.
“Fuck you Liam Williams, fuck you.”
I give myself a few minutes to calm down, getting my breathing under control and my heart rate to finally return to normal and then tiptoe over the mess I’ve made. Avoiding the sharp glass, I make my way to the bathroom, I need to get that bastard off my skin before I start to peel it off.
I should have known better, no matter what happens, he will always be someone else’s guy, whether she’s dead or not.
He’s not going to let go that easy. Well, if he thinks he can use me as some sort of substitute, then he can think again, I’m my own person and I deserve a hell of a lot better. As far as I’m concerned what happened here only moments ago, never happened at all. Even if it was the best sex I’ve ever had in my life.
Jeez, who am I kidding. I can't forget it even if I tried. He's ruined me for any other man that comes my way.
I make my way to the bathroom, stomping louder than is necessary. I turn on the shower, letting it heat up, as I turn I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror. I don't even recognise the girl looking back at me, I had to do a double take just to make sure it was definitely me. My eyes are red raw, my mascar
a is all down my cheeks. My lips look bruised from his kisses and are surrounded by more redness from the itch of his stubble. Feeling disgusted with myself, I turn around again and step into the shower, letting the scalding hot water burn away every single inch of him from me.
When I finally feel like I have washed myself clean of Liam, I climb out of the shower, re-dress and go and clean up the mess I made with my rage.
Once that’s done, I finally climb into bed, hoping when I wake up in the morning this will all just be one big nightmare.
Sleep doesn’t come easy, I toss and turn most of the night. All I can think about is the way he touched me, his body sliding into mine.
Stop it, Mel. I try to tell myself. I even attempt to count sheep and fail miserably.
Then, like I’ve been hit by a wrecking ball, I realise something.
How in god’s name did he find out where I lived? Just as I’m starting to get angry again, my phone vibrates on my chest of drawers next to my bed. Grabbing it not so gently, I open it up to see a message.
I’m Sorry
L
X
You have got to be shitting me?
So not only has he found out where I live, the twat now has my phone number too. If he thinks he can fix this shit with a text message, well he can think again. I may have let him fuck me, but I’m not a pushover. This turning up unannounced and texting business is going to stop straight away. I’m not the sort of girl he’s used to. I won’t bend to his whim, no matter how much I’d love to do what we did again. Not a chance, hell would freeze over first.
Fuck off
Is my reply back, before putting my phone on silent and finally allowing myself to drift off into a restless sleep.
Someone shouting my name in the distance stirs me from sleep. Ignoring it, convinced I’m still dreaming. I roll onto my stomach and pull the covers over my head.
“Mel… open the door.” Followed by a concession of bangs, which tells me I’m not dreaming like I originally thought.
Sighing, I throw the quilt off me before stomping to the door and opening it to find Connor and Johnny on my doorstep.
“What the fuck did that cockwad do to you?” Johnny demands as he pushes his way into my house with Connor hot on his heels.
Flabbergasted at the fact they are here, and because I’ve just this second been woken up, it takes me a minute to register who they are talking about. Then I have a lightbulb moment and realise who they mean.
So much for it being a nightmare. Reality has kicked back in again. Like a naughty school girl, I stand there twiddling my thumbs. Knowing I can’t tell them the truth, because if I do I know Connor will definitely sack me, but lying isn’t in my nature, I’m shit at it, I just hope they don’t notice.
“He didn’t do anything. He just wanted to thank me for talking to him, you know, for explaining things more clearly to him.”
Wow. I've surprised myself, which was quick thinking for me, the lie just rolled right off my tongue.
“Mmmm.” Is all I get from Connor.
“Hold on a second,” I pipe up. “How did you know that he had been to see me, did he tell you he was coming?”
Johnny smirks at Connor, which tells me they had no idea.
“The pain in my arse went through my office last night. I went to look for your employee records so I could put you on the payroll and when I couldn’t find them or him I knew what he was up to.”
Impressive.
He actually went digging to look for me. Makes me slightly happier knowing this piece of information, but only a smidgen.
“Well, he’s not here now, so I can’t help you I’m afraid boys.” I shrug. “Now if you don’t mind, I have a job to get ready for.” My voice is strong, but I’m feeling anything but. With all my anger and hurt last night I totally forgot that I would have to see him again today, at work.
This should be interesting.
They leave shortly after with an apology for waking me up so early.
With the extra time I now have. thanks to them both waking me up at the crack of dawn, I decide I’m not going to go to work like I have a grudge. Instead, I take my time getting ready. I carefully apply my makeup, still keeping it natural, and then I tie my hair in a high ponytail, curling the ends, giving it some extra bounce.
If he thinks I’m going to sit around and cry over him then he’s sadly mistaken.
I’m Melissa Wright and Liam Williams has messed with the wrong girl.
Chapter Seventeen
Liam
A loud crash has me awake and jumping to my feet in a nanosecond.
“Liam, where the fuck are you? We know you’re here and if you’ve tried to off yourself again we’re going to leave you here this time.” I hear Johnny shout out just as I’m reaching the top of the staircase.
“That’s four grand you owe me cuntychops,” I say, referring to my front door that’s now in pieces in my hallway. “And for your information, no I haven’t tried to off myself again, but thanks for having faith in me turd brain. I appreciate it.” The sarcasm is just dripping from me.
Reaching the bottom of the stairs, I see Connor scowling at me like he’s going to rip my head off any bloody minute.
“What gives Blackwood? Allie not suck your dick or something this morning?”
Without any warning, he comes at me, pushing my shoulders roughly that I almost lose my footing.
“You! I ought to knock your head off your shoulders. What the fuck were you thinking going through my office, through my personal shit.” He’s raging.
Oh shit.
“If you wanted her address I would have given it to you. Hell I was the one who told you to make it up to her, but there was no need to go behind my back L.”
Now I know why he’s pissed, I let his actions towards me go.
I take a step forward with my hands out in front of me in a - I come in peace - gesture.
“Look, I’m sorry Con, I really am, but at the time you were busy and I didn’t think Al would understand either.” I see the anger in his eyes fading, replaced with a little understanding.
“Mmmm, okay, but next time just ask me and for the love of god hand over the information sheet so I can get it back before Allie notices it’s missing. You’re lucky it was me that spotted it and not her, or else she would have your bollocks chopped off. Even I’m not that daring and she’s my wife,” he says, followed by a laugh.
“No worries dude, it’s in my car I’ll get it in a sec.”
Just as we both start to head into my kitchen, Johnny walks out with a confused look etched on his face.
“The fridge is empty, I’m having to eat nuts out of your cupboard. What kind of friend are you?”
We both burst out laughing as Johnny sprays nuts everywhere as he speaks.
“Eww, gross. You’re an animal mate, how the hell Karina puts up with you I don’t know. That girl deserves a medal,” I chuckle, then pat him on the shoulder as I head to the kitchen in search of coffee.
“Right what happened last night between you two, and don’t bother spewing some shit at me like she did this morning. That girl can’t lie for shit, but I know she was just trying to cover for you so I didn’t call her out on it.”
That’s Connor for you right there, always straight to the point. Then like a vampire has sucked all the blood from my body, my face pales when I realise what he’s just said. He’s seen Mel. She hasn’t told him what happened between us. She covered for me.
But why?
Why would she do that, especially after what I did last night?
I don’t deserve her defending me, if anything she should have thrown me under the bus and then let it reverse back over me for good measure.
Finally, looking Connor and Johnny in the eye, I know I have to come clean with them and tell them everything. It isn’t fair to Melissa, she shouldn’t have had to do that this morning.
When I’ve spent the best part of an hour telling them my life story, the
parts they didn’t know, I finally get to the part where I have to tell Connor I slept with his nanny. The only other person who Allie trusts with her son outside of our circle.
All I seem to have done for the last ten years is fight for myself. To get back to who I used to be and claim the one woman who I thought would always be in my life, but now it’s time to let go of the past and protect Melissa. I don’t want to fight anymore. I may have said Steph’s name last night and I still don’t understand why I did it, but something is telling me deep in my gut that Melissa turning up out of the blue is well… fate. She was put in my life's direction for a reason and I’m not about to let Connor sack her for something that was my fault.
“Before I tell you both what happened last night, you have to promise me not to go all daddy bear on me and then fire Mel,” I warn, pointing a finger in Connor’s direction.
“I have no idea why I’d be firing Mel, but I cross my heart,” he replies, at the same time he draws an imaginary cross over his heart.
Inhaling a deep breath through my nose, I let it out slowly through my mouth.
Here goes nothing.
“Originally, my plan was just to go over there and get her out of my system. After our talk yesterday, I felt weird, I started seeing her differently and with her being Steph's sister I didn’t want to betray her by having feelings for Mel. So, my only answer was to go and fuck her out of my head, only it didn’t go to plan. Well, it did in a way, I did fuck her. Only I royally fucked up whilst doing it.”
“What in a god’s name did you do L?” Connor shouts as he stands from the stool he was perched on. I can see he wants to punch me square in the face, his fists are clenching and unclenching as if he can’t decide what to do.
“Oi dickface, you promised. Calm your boxers and let me finish, will you,” I retort, giving him a death stare.
With a sharp nod of his head, he relents and sits back down. “Please continue.”
Syren's Rebirth (Syren Series) Page 8