The Sizzle Saga

by Sarah O'Rourke

  Rubbing her temples, Molly groaned and peered into her now empty coffee cup. “I need more coffee if I’m gonna continue this conversation,” she muttered.

  “I’ll get it,” he offered, grabbing her mug before she could rise. “You know, you’ve made a lot of assumptions about me, Molly Brown. Some of them aren’t correct, you know,” he informed her over his shoulder as he poured her a second cup of coffee. “Some of them could even be considered downright slanderous to my good name,” he stated pointedly, carrying her cup back to the table and sliding it in front of her. “Did you know character assassination is a crime in most courts of law?” he asked, just to goad her. A man had to have his hobbies, after all.

  At that remark, Molly strangled on her sip of coffee, spewing the brew across the table. Reaching for a napkin, she blotted the mess as she continued to cough. “Are you serious?” she managed to choke through her gasps for air. “Your good name? Character assassination?” she croaked, blinking back the tears that had formed in her eyes. “Devil, you may be the biggest jackass Atlanta has ever produced!”

  “See what I mean?” he asked with a smirk, delighting in the flush that slowly crept up her neck as he calmly reached for a napkin and blotted the coffee droplets clinging to his face. “Character assassination.”

  He ducked as the first donut went sailing through the air.

  He might be the ass she accused him of being, but luckily for him, he also had lightning fast reflexes.

  Sizzle: Chapter Twenty

  Launching the last donut at Devil Delancy’s insufferable head, Molly decided that she should have used knives rather than pastries as her missiles of choice. Perhaps that would have dimmed the cad’s booming laughter. And she had just sacrificed a half-dozen of the finest doughnuts known to mankind, too.

  “You done yet?” Devil asked, peeking around the arm he’d thrown over his face to see if she was still locked and loaded.

  “For the record,” Molly said with as much dignity as she could muster after resorting to throwing food to get her point across, “I hate you.” She didn’t, not really, but it sounded good. Blowing an agitated stream of air through her nose, she glared at him as he brushed doughnut glaze off his shirt onto the floor.

  “That’s unfortunate. It’ll make being married to me a real bitch, babe.”

  “Devil,” Molly moaned, lifting a hand to shove her hair out of her face, “Will you please sing a different song? Today, I was only throwing breakfast pastries. Has it occurred to you that tomorrow I might be firing bullets?”

  “Given the fact that you can’t aim worth a damn,” he said with a wandering look to where an innocent doughnut sat perched on the microwave, “I’m not real worried.”

  Shoulders sagging, Molly sank back into her kitchen chair. “Let’s get back to our original conversation. You accused me of character assassination. I take offense at that. I’ve never said a thing about you that wasn’t true, Devil, and you know it.”

  “No, you assumed everything you said was true, but you don’t know it for a fact.”

  “What are you talking about?” Molly asked irritably.

  “Have any of the women that I’ve dated in the past year told you that I slept with them, Mols?”

  Blinking, Molly stared at him. Now that was an unexpected thought, wasn’t it? “Well, no,” she replied slowly, shifting uncomfortably in her seat as she felt his gaze on her face. Why the hell was she squirming? She hadn’t done anything wrong. She’d looked at the facts and drawn predictable conclusions. It wasn’t rocket science, for heaven’s sake!

  “No?” Devil echoed with a smug grin, his eyes glittering with dark mischief.

  “No! Some of the siren squad might have insinuated as much, but none of them ever actually came out and said the words. What did you want them to do? Wear around t-shirts saying ‘Did the Deed with Devil Delancy’? That’d just be tacky. You say those poor women were only after your money, Devil, but you were only after one thing, too. And I seriously doubt it was stimulating conversation,” she added with a sniff of disdain.

  Molly watched as Devil pressed his lips together and a muscle flexed in his jaw. “What?” she asked, exasperated. “Why are you getting your nose out of joint, Dev? It’s not exactly been a well-kept secret that you’ve got the sex drive of a superhero on speed.”

  She paused and did a double take as Devil’s face turned an alarming shade of red when the words left her mouth. He looked positively explosive, and she briefly wondered if, perhaps, she’d pushed a little too far with that remark. Tact had never exactly been her strong suit. Sighing, she gathered her energy to try to reason with the stubborn fool again. “Devil, listen…”

  “Molly, stop talking. Stop talking now,” she heard Devil order in a lethally soft voice as he leveled her with a stare that sent a chill down her spine. His eyes were bright with anger, and the muscle in his jaw clenched and unclenched with startling regularity. Biting her lip, she swallowed and wondered if she’d meandered across some invisible line in the sand with him. It wasn’t as if she’d been trying to make him mad. It just seemed to be a talent at which she excelled.

  “Why?” she couldn’t resist asking in a tiny voice. Speaking probably wasn’t her wisest move, but she couldn’t resist. She always had liked to tempt fate. And she was pretty sure Devil wouldn’t actually hurt her. At least not physically.

  “Because if you say one more single asinine thing to me, I’m afraid I’ll start shaking you. And if I start shaking you, I might not be able to stop. That would be unfortunate because then Nana would be disappointed that I didn’t have enough self-control to keep from killing my fiancé and thus, ruining her vision of a dream wedding, and then Grant would kill me for putting a less-than-gentlemanly hand on his sister.”

  Molly stared him with a kind of horrified fascination that she couldn’t fake. “It’s official. You’re nuts. And nothing I’ve said is asinine!”

  “Yes, I agree with the first part of what you’ve said. You have finally managed to drive me crazy,” he retorted sharply. “Conversely, I categorically disagree with you on the last part of your statement. Because, trust me, your declarations about my alleged bedroom activities are, indeed, asinine since I haven’t been to bed with a woman since you stumbled into my office looking for a job,” he roared, coming to his feet.

  This time, it was Molly’s turn to laugh.

  And she did. Loudly. At great length.

  Until tears streamed down her face and she was bent over double. She was fairly certain her cackles could be heard on the moon.

  Because if she knew anything at all, it was that there was no way on Earth that Devil Delancy had lived like a monk for the past twelve months. Pigs would be taking flight over at the Delta runway at Hartsfield Airport before that ever happened!

  “Would you stop laughing like a damn hyena?” Devil snapped when her chortles hadn’t slowed a full three minutes later. “I’m telling the truth, damn it,” he declared indignantly, crossing his arms over his broad chest as he loomed over her beside her chair.

  “Uh huh,” Molly gasped, nodding furiously as she pressed a hand to her now-aching belly. She could only laugh harder as she glanced up into his livid face. “I bet next you’re gonna t-tell me you’re a born again virgin, t-too!” Molly giggled hysterically, wiping tears of mirth from her eyes. Oh, she could not wait to share this whopper with Sami and Viv. They’d be in stitches for days.

  “Damn it, Margaret,” he growled.

  Jerking her head up at the use of her Christian name, Molly’s laughter suddenly disappeared as she stared into his livid face. Jumping as Devil slammed his cell phone on the table in front of her, he bit out a demand. “Start calling them.”

  “Calling who?” she asked faintly, shifting her eyes from his face to the phone and back again. Something was wrong here. Seriously wrong. The man was serious.

  “My former flames,” he replied with a barely contained rage that vibrated with every word he uttered. “Ask th
em if I’m lying. If you’re so sure of yourself, start dialing.” Bending so that he was nose to nose with her, he smiled coldly. “I. Dare. You.”

  Sizzle: Chapter Twenty-One

  Satisfied to see that he’d at least managed to stun the indomitable woman he wanted to marry into silence, Devil enjoyed the heavenly quiet while it lasted. If he knew Molly, it wouldn’t be a long wait. Better to simply bask in the moment when it presented itself.

  After a few more moments of prolonged stillness, he watched as realization donned in her intelligent emerald eyes, her gaze losing some of its stupefied shock. Finally! Maybe now they could get down to the business of discussing their upcoming nuptials.

  “So, you’re gay,” she finally said simply as if it was the most logical conclusion in the world.

  Whoa! Back the truck up! Devil’s jaw fell open at her quiet words and he shook his head in automatic denial.

  “It’s okay if you’re gay!” Molly said quickly, lifting a hand to pat his arm consolingly as she smiled supportively at him. “I don’t mind at all. You don’t need to deny it to me. Am I the first person you’ve managed to come out to or did all your lady friends know that they were part of your cover story? Do you have a boyfriend?” she asked excitedly, grabbing her coffee mug and rising from her chair.

  Watching as she crossed to the sink and rinsed her cup, he shook his head. “Molly…”

  “This explains so much, Devil! I mean, really, what straight, Southern man prefers Earl Grey tea to black coffee?” she asked thoughtfully as she stared out the kitchen window.

  “My grandfather drank that tea. They were immigrants. I grew up on it,” he retorted, trying to justify his choice. Why in the world was he discussing tea when she had just accused him of playing for the other team?

  “And your clothes!” Molly continued, unaware of the rapidly deteriorating mental condition of the man standing behind her. “Gay men really do dress well. I should have seen that in you. You’re never without a suit, and it always has to be the best,” she murmured to herself. “No J.C. Penney specials for you. Armani and Hugo Boss are the only ticket for today’s homosexual man. Sami told me that once awhile back, but now I know it’s true.”

  “I’m a businessman! Suits are like my uniform,” he yelped, running a hand across his now-sweaty brow as he stared at her back in horror. “And I’m rich! Of course, I use designer labels.” He could feel himself losing traction as she turned and looked at him, propping her hands on her hips.

  “Then there’s that fastidious attention you pay to your appearance. For God’s sake! You have a massage once a week, and then there’s that mani-pedi that you had me schedule…”

  “I’ve got a bad back,” he almost whimpered, rapidly recognizing that he was fighting a losing battle here. Holy God, the woman was convinced his boat floated in another damn ocean! “You play rugby on a college team for four years and see if you don’t need a rubdown every once in a while. And for your information, that mani-pedi was a gift from a client. I couldn’t very well say no to it. I did it once.” Shaking his head, he heard the desperation edging his voice and fought to control his rising panic. “I’m not gay!”

  “Devil,” Molly replied, drying her hands on a dishtowel and tossing it back to the sink, “There’s nothing for you to be ashamed of here. I understand completely why you’ve remained in the closet, but, sweetie, even a walk-in is going to feel small after a while.”

  “I’m not in the closet!” he yelled as the vein in his temple began to throb. Christ, was this a stroke? Wasn’t he supposed to smell bacon or toast or something? He never should have postponed that last physical.

  “Of course you’re not. Not anymore,” Molly said understandingly, patting his arm sympathetically. “You just came out to me.”

  “No, I didn’t!”

  “Listen, I understand you wanting to keep up your reputation. Nana was born in a different world, and you’re right. I don’t think she’d understand your life choices. People her age often don’t understand that folks don’t get a choice about their sexuality. But after she passes, you should really consider taking a stand, Devil. You just stand up to all those competitors of yours and tell them the truth! You’re here, and you’re queer! Own it, baby!”

  Devil’s throat worked, but no words came out. Dear God, maybe this really was a stroke. Wasn’t speech the first thing to go?

  “You’ll be an example to all the young men in Atlanta that a man can be successful and gay at any age. It’s never too late to come out of the closet!”

  Devil shook his head furiously, gripping the back of a chair to steady himself. “Nonononononono!”

  “Now, don’t panic,” Molly soothed quickly, hurrying to his side. “Given the circumstances, of course I’ll help you. I’ll make an excellent beard. That’s what I’d be called, right?”

  “What?” Devil asked blankly. He could hear the words, but he wasn’t certain he comprehended anything any longer.

  “The wedding, Dev. I’ll do it. I’m just so relieved. Last night, when we were intimate, I was a little worried about Little Devil, you know,” she said with a knowing look at his crotch.

  “Pardon me?” he choked, barely able to form coherent words.

  “Well, honey, it didn’t seem very big at all. Now, I know why,” she declared brightly with a beaming smile.

  Devil nearly swallowed his tongue. Not very big at all! “My equipment was plenty big! You were drunk,” he blustered as his heart pounded in his chest. Now, she insulted his cock? Was there no END to this indignity?

  “Uh huh,” Molly agreed solemnly, her tone fully supportive. “I’m positive that what you have is plenty adequate to fulfill your partner’s needs, Devil.”

  “My partner?” he almost shrieked as he gripped the chair for support. “I don’t have a partner, Molly! I’m going to have a wife, and what I’ve got goin’ on downstairs is more than enough to satisfy…”

  “Dev, I don’t think it’s politically correct to call your significant other your wife.” Molly frowned as she pressed a finger to her lips. Shaking her head, she continued, “I feel certain that all the homosexuals I know refer to their other half as a partner. I mean, I suppose lesbians could get away with wife, but men should really stick with partner. Or spouse. Spouse works, too. It doesn’t signify one half as the feminine component. Unless you’re into butch/fem, and if you are, I’m perfectly okay with that, too,” she added with another brilliant smile at him.

  “When the hell did you become an aficionado of gay lingo?” he roared. Jesus, she had him ready to rip out his hair and run screaming from the condo.

  “Well, I think some things are just common sense, Devil.” Molly shrugged. “At any rate, I’m sure what you possess in that area,” she said, waving a hand again toward his groin, “is more than enough to keep your boyfriend satisfied.”

  She was trying to kill him. She had to be. Had she taken out a life insurance policy on him that he knew nothing about? She had been his assistant for over a year… more than enough time for a policy to vest. It’d be easy for her to do. After all, she was probably quite proficient at forging his signature by now.

  “I…I…I…,” he stuttered, unable to get a coherent sentence past his lips.

  “I think you should go to the hospital and visit Nana,” Molly suggested with a patient look. “We can discuss all the pesky details later, okay? I’ll swing by your house tonight. Say sevenish? I have to meet the girls at noon for our weekly lunch. If I don’t show up, they’ll send out the National Guard,” she explained, giving him a gentle shove toward her front door.

  “But, Molly…”

  “Now, I don’t want you to worry about a thing. You just go tell Nana that she’s going to get her wedding, and we’ll figure out a way to make your boyfriend understand everything.” Urging him through her living room, she patted his back in a reassuring matter. “You’ll see,” she informed him serenely, “Everything is just gonna work out fine.”

  O
n that final note, Molly pushed Devil out of her condo and closed the front door in his face.

  Looking around at his seemingly normal surroundings as he stood on her small front porch, he shook his head in confusion. The sun was still shining. The birds were still singing. For him, however, the world felt like it was suddenly moving in incredibly slow motion.

  “What the fuck just happened?” he asked aloud as he stared at the closed door in dismay.

  Sizzle: Chapter Twenty-Two

  “So, you see, it’s all gonna be okay,” Molly Ramsey excitedly informed her two best friends an hour later inside the crowded Buckhead bistro where they’d met for lunch. “He’s gay, guys! I can marry a gay guy. Especially when I know it will give a woman that I’ve thought of as another grandmother all my life some kind of peace in her last days on Earth.”

  Exchanging a look of incredulity with Sami before focusing on Molly, Vivian Miller slowly dropped her fork back to her plate and stared across the table at the hopeful redhead currently embroiled in nervously shredding her napkin. “Molly, honey, gay men don’t have steamy make out sessions on the couch with women. It’s just not done, sweetie.”

  Grimacing for a second, Molly’s mind worked to find a logical response for Viv’s statement. “Maybe he was making a last ditch attempt at being straight. I don’t think Devil’s real comfortable with his sexuality yet. I mean, he’s been hiding behind all these women for years, y’all.”

  “Gay men do not get hard for women, chica,” Sami retorted with a smirk. “From what you’ve said, the little Devil rose to the occasion.”

  Shaking her head, Molly sniffed delicately. “He did, but I really expected it to be… bigger, you know?”

  “You did say that you were both still wearing your clothes. Those tend to dull sensation,” Vivian pointed out reasonably.