The Sizzle Saga

by Sarah O'Rourke

  “Oh, sweet Christ! This can’t be happening,” Molly heard Devil whisper violently. Turning her head toward her husband as she ran a soothing hand up and down Mannie’s heaving back, she noted that he’d turned completely white, his normally tanned skin now ashen. Honestly, she never expected him to care so much about Armando’s sensitive feelings, and she couldn’t help feeling a little pleased with him for being so sensitive to their friend’s feelings.

  Well, she was pleased with him… right up until she noticed that guilty glint in his eyes and the nervous way he was now clutching the chair. And if those weren’t clues enough that something was amiss, he’d started to sweat. Devil Delancy did not sweat. Not when he ran. Not when he exercised. Not even that one time that their daughter had exploded from both ends.

  But he was sure the hell perspiring now.

  Damn it, she knew that look! Her husband had something to do with this fiasco. What, she had no idea. But, she could feel it in her gut that he was at least partially responsible for this debacle.

  And, later, she’d make sure that he felt her wrath in his balls.

  For now, she had to concentrate on keeping her heartbroken friend together and based on Sami and Viv’s identical expressions of anger, she also would be keeping her other two friends from committing a homicide. Holy crap but this was a cluster of fuck if ever one existed.

  “They’re coming here.”

  Molly listened to Mannie as he cried into one of the expensive lace throw pillows that she’d painstakingly chosen when she’d redecorated her living room last year. Perhaps it was awful of her, but all she could really think about was trying to rescue her cushion from Mannie’s tears and ever twisting anxious fingers. She listened with only half an ear as he continued.

  “I couldn’t stop them from coming. I tried to stop them, but the uppity asshole wouldn’t listen to me. I tried to tell tu padre that he’s not even here, but he no listen. How the hell can I be expected to host June and Ward fucking Cleaver?”

  Exchanging confused looks with both Sami and Viv, Molly could only shrug helplessly as she patted Armando’s back consolingly as she tried to discretely save her cushion from further water damage.

  “Okay, hold up a minute. I’ve got a couple of questions here, but, first, I need a serious drink. Anyone joining me?” Sami asked, motioning for a time out in the conversation as she stood and crossed to the liquor cabinet.

  “Si! Oh, Dios Mio!! Si! I want a Crown and coke in the worst way,” Mannie sniffled. “I’m just parched. Do you think I could already be dehydrated?” he asked, wiping his wet cheeks.

  “No, but I think your fiancé is living on borrowed time for putting all of us through this,” Sami growled, efficiently mixing Armando’s drink and quickly carrying it to him. “Who’s next? Viv?”

  “I’m gonna stay sober for this conversation,” Vivian murmured with a slight shake of her head. “You never know. Cooler heads might need to prevail at some later point this evening,” she noted, jerking her chin in Sami’s direction.

  “Yeah, they’d frown on it if you showed up at the police station drunk when you drop by to bail me out later,” Sami interjected smoothly, glancing at Molly. “You having anything, little mama?”

  Molly thought about it for a whole second as she stared longingly at the bottle. She’d really only had a few sips earlier and she’d pumped plenty of milk for the baby. “Yeah, pour me half a glass of wine, Sami.” She deserved a treat, damn it.

  “If you’re taking orders,” Devil began, looking hopefully toward Samantha as she poured Molly’s favored Merlot.

  “From you?” Sami asked sweetly, lifting an eyebrow at Devil. “You would trust little ole me to serve you?”

  “Excellent point. I’ll get it myself,” Devil replied with a tired sigh as he rubbed his temple. “You’d probably poison it anyway.”

  “You’re in luck, Satan. I’m fresh out of rat poison tonight. What’ll you have? Scotch?” Sami questioned in a rare display of goodwill. Molly could only silently assume that Samantha might need them to pay her bail later and she’d decided it was better to stay on Dev’s good side for the time being. Either that, or the world was coming to an end, Molly thought as she crossed to get her own glass of Merlot. Given what she’d seen already tonight, it could really go either way.

  Never one to look a gift horse in the mouth, Molly heard Devil quickly say, “There’s a 1984 MacAllan in the bottom left cabinet. If ever there was a call to open that bottle, I’m thinking this is it.”

  “For once, I like the way you think, Devil Delancy,” Sami said appreciatively as she quickly reached for two heavy glass tumblers and filled them with the expensive amber liquor. Picking them up, she quickly delivered one into Devil’s outstretched hand before resuming her own seat. Taking a long, slow sip, she hummed appreciatively as she swallowed. “Now, this is the kind of stuff a girl could get used to drinking. I bet if you served this all the time, our relationship would be much healthier, Delancy.”

  “As interesting as that is, let’s get back to Mannie and Nick,” Vivian pleaded urgently. “What did you mean that ‘they’re coming’? And where the hell is Nick?”

  “Yeah, and why isn’t he here right now begging you on his bony knees not to kick his ass to the curb while I throw darts at his perfectly coiffed hair?” Samantha asked, swilling her scotch moodily.

  “Technically and more importantly, legally speaking, it would have to be Nick evicting Mannie from the home since only Nick’s name appears on the deed to the townhouse,” Vivian corrected automatically.

  “Ay! Christo! Do you think I’m going to be homeless, Vivian?” Armando yelped, jerking upright from where he slouched against the arm of the sofa.

  “I seriously doubt that, but even if you were homeless, you have a place right here in this house with me, Devil, and the baby. We have more than enough room. It’ll be like a slumber party every night. Isn’t that right, Devil?” Molly declared with a pointed look at her husband. Blinking stupidly as he processed what she’d said, Molly saw the exact moment comprehension lit his eyes. She couldn’t have more effectively enlisted his assistance if she’d gotten down on her knees and begged. If there was one thing she knew, it was how to dance with the Devil.

  “By God, Nicholas WILL fix this,” Devil roared, surging to his feet and taking a large gulp of his scotch. “I’ll kill his stick-up-her-ass mother myself if it becomes necessary. As for the dad,” he continued, beginning to pace, “if I can get him drunk enough, we can convince him anything is a good idea. It’s that she-beast, Sofia, that rules the roost….she’s just got Gino cowed right now. He’s terrified of the old bag.”

  Holding up her hand, Vivian called for silence. “Okay,” she began, looking at Devil over her shoulder for a moment. “Let’s put a pin in the fact that Devil seems to know an awful lot about Nick’s parents for now. First, I want somebody to tell me where in the world that Italian stud is. Not that it really matters. Where he should be is here trying to work this out with Mannie,” she declared with another hard look at Devil.

  “He will be by morning,” Devil muttered under his breath as he began to text on his phone.

  Rising, Mannie rose to fix another drink. Reaching for the Crown Royale, he answered, “For now, he’s in Miami. The Devil over there,” he remarked, gesturing toward Molly’s husband, “couldn’t continue to live without some tech company. Nick went down to broker the deal.”

  “I’ve already notified the company’s pilot, Armando. I’ll have him home by morning,” Devil informed the other man. “I’m sure this can all be worked out in no time.”

  “You can fly him anywhere you want to, Devil. The wedding will still be off. I already left him a voice mail that said so.”

  “What?” Molly shouted, shocked. Sure, she’d heart Mannie say it earlier, but she’d assumed he was being dramatic.

  “He hid me, Molly. He hid me from people who matter to him. His familia. I can’t just forget that happened,” Mannie stat
ed before he took a swig directly from the bottle. Staring at his friends, he shook his head emphatically. “Listen, amigas, I haven’t hid my light under a bushel tree since I was eighteen and came out to my biological family. They disowned me, but I stayed true to who I was. I can’t let anybody try to snuff out my light again. Not even the man I love more than life. I can’t do it. And after talking to his parents…let’s just say that it’s no secret why he’s remained in the closet where they are concerned. But me? In a closet? I’d never fit back inside one. I wouldn’t want to try. No, I’m gay to stay, my lovely ladies.”

  “Well, of course you are,” Molly said decisively, “but, so is your future husband.”

  “Not according to his parents,” Mannie muttered, swinging the half full bottle of Crown back to his lips.

  “What I want to know is why the little coward hasn’t called. You left that voice mail for him, what? A couple of hours ago? Why isn’t he burning up the phone lines trying to fix this shit?” Samantha griped caustically.

  “That’s probably my fault,” Mannie revealed with an empty laugh, shifting the bottle of Crown from hand to hand. “After I called him, ten minutes later, the phone started blowing up. Text, calls, more texts, more calls. I was forced to take drastic measures.”

  “What drastic measures, Mannie?”

  Batting his long, sooty eyelashes, Mannie bit his lip before answering. “I might have relocated my phone to the blender…. And turned it on puree. For being so expensive, those iPhones really can’t take a beating AT ALL.”

  “Oh, sweet Lord,” Molly moaned, staring at a man that just might be nuttier than her own husband. “You didn’t think maybe the better idea was to just turn the phone…I don’t know… off?”

  “I was in the moment,” Mannie replied blandly, lifting the liquor to his lips. “God,” he bit out. “You know what this means? I’m facing thirty and single again. How fucked up is that?” Looking at Sami, he asked, “You wanna go halfsies on our room at the old folks’ home? We could be roomies!”

  “Okay, what about me?” Vivian injected, smiling faintly at their mutual pal.

  “Oh, you’ll eventually meet The One, Vivian. You’re too sweet not to find him. But me? I had my One and then found out that he was a big, fat, deceitful liar. As for our Samantha? Let’s just say that I haven’t met the boy with balls big enough for her not to bust. I don’t think he exists,” Mannie replied, slowly ambling back toward his seat on the sofa.

  “You never know… I might not find anybody either,” Vivian returned easily. “You could just be stuck with me.”

  “Or, I could finally kill Devil and need a place to live, too,” Molly inserted with a genuine laugh.

  “Then we’d have a Three’s Company sitch on the horizon. Ohhhhh, that’d be fuuuuuunnnn. I loved, loved, loved that show. John Ritter was a comedic genius. You just know that white boy is cracking up the angelic choir up there. ‘Come and knock on my door…’” Mannie sang, closing his eyes and bouncing his head to a beat only he seemed to hear.

  “We’ll be waiting for youuuuu,” the girls returned together, each of them relieved to see Mannie’s mega-watt smile for a scant moment. It was better than nothing.

  Leaning his head back against the cushions, Mannie murmured, “I think I might be drunk a little.”

  “You think?” Devil snorted from his chair in the corner, eyeing the glass bottle wedged between their Mexican friend’s legs. Nobody could blame him. One thing every single person in the room could agree on was that Mannie had lived through one hell of a night. “You drank a half bottle of booze in less than an hour. I’m surprised you’re still conscious, amigo.”

  Molly laughed out loud when Armando answered with a long snore. “Well, I’d say that puts a period on the evening,” she said softly to no one and everyone.

  Not to be dissuaded, Vivian turned around and narrowed her eyes on Devil. “Did you know about any of this tonight? And please remember that I’m an attorney….”

  “…and I’m your wife,” Molly interjected with a glare of her own.

  “…and both of us can spot a lie from less than five paces,” Vivian concluded, her face an impassive mask.

  When Devil merely stared into space, Molly felt her irritation skyrocket. “Devil, I suggest you answer Vivian’s questions. What did you know about this? And don’t bother trying to lie or mislead me because I’ve already figured out by your reactions tonight that you knew more about this than any of us including poor Armando!”

  “I knew everything. Nick and I discussed it before he left for Miami. You know, the day after you read him the riot act for not giving you a complete guest list so that you could finish mailing out invitations. The poor guy was freaked the hell out. Evidently, you’re scary when you’re working against the clock.”

  “I was perfectly polite to your little lackey. It’s not my fault if he wears his heart on his sleeve and can’t handle a few simple requests,” Molly objected huffily, her eyebrows furrowing. Was it her fault that Nick had procrastinated to the point where she was going to have to pay the printers a substantial extra fee to have their invitations done on time? Damn it, they were down to single digits here. In less than eight days, those boys would be committing to each other for the rest of their lives… at least, she hoped they would be. Based on Mannie’s statements before he passed out, however, the likelihood of it was looking iffy. And she couldn’t even blame him. She completely saw where he was coming from on the issue. “And honestly, I could care less if Nick got his feelings hurt. Right now, all I care about is that evidently you knew your friend was hiding his fiancé from his family, but also his sexuality as well.”

  “Molly, I can explain, sweetheart,” Devil soothed, holding up his hand and trying to reach for his wife.

  “Sounds like famous last words to me,” Sami grunted, glaring at Devil.

  “Don’t they just?” Molly returned, nodding at a sage Samantha.

  “Not everything is simply black and white here, dammit. There is such a color as grey, you know,” Devil hissed at the three women, dropping his arm when Molly backed away from him and kept glowering at him. “Nick Santino is not the villain your overactive imaginations are trying to conjure up. He’s a decent guy, Molly.”

  “Oh, my God,” Molly scoffed, carefully keeping her voice pitched low so she didn’t disturb a snoring Armando. Heaven knew that the poor man would need his rest to manage whatever ordeal was headed toward them. “You’re actually going to defend what he’s done? You know what you are, Devil? You’re a Judas!”

  “Excuse me?” Devil snapped, his shoulders stiffening as he focused furious eyes on Molly. “I haven’t betrayed anybody, little girl. I simply didn’t stick my nose into somebody else’s relationship where – incidentally - it didn’t belong. I listened to Nick talk about his problem with his parents over a couple of beers during a business trip several months ago. I gave him some advice when he asked for it and then I put it out of my mind because it wasn’t my problem! I do that when something is none of my affair. It’s a pretty common practice. I certainly didn’t deceive anybody! Not Mannie. And certainly not you,” Devil argued quietly as he stared at his wife. “The bottom line here is that I know Nick loves and adores young Armando over there just as much as I do you and listening to you three harpies crucify the man before he’s had a chance to defend himself is wrong. I know it, and so do you. When exactly did you get so self-righteous, huh? Since when aren’t you willing to at least hear the other side of the story, Margaret? How the hell can you or your terrible twosome here make an informed decision if you don’t have all the facts?”

  Despite being irate that he employed the use of her much hated Christian name, Molly chose to let it go and pay attention to the matter at hand. Crossing her arms over her chest, she lifted her chin in defiance. “Don’t you think we have the pertinent facts, Devil?” she asked with a scowl. “Nick’s been lying to his parents and lying to the man he claims to love. Call me crazy, but it app
ears that he was willing to build a marriage on a foundation of lies and sins of omission. I’d say we all have a pretty good grasp on the facts. And as for Nick loving Mannie like you love me, if that’s true, Devil, I’m a little concerned about the health of our own relationship. How many deceptions will I find if I take a closer look at our marriage?”

  “Okay, you two,” Vivian interceded calmly, “let’s agree to retreat to our neutral corners before somebody says something they can’t take back.”

  Disregarding Vivian’s warning, Devil shook his head. “Have any of you asked yourself why a stand-up guy like Nick would choose to keep this to himself? Any of you given his reasoning any thought? Do any of you care about that?”

  Stunned by Devil’s passionate defense of his employee and friend, it occurred to Molly that her husband was as protective of his pal as she was of hers. Shifting uncomfortably on her feet as she felt his observant eyes drilling into her. Knowing that he was waiting for a response, she murmured, “I care. Not as much as I care about Armando, but I do care.”

  “Good,” Devil returned with a satisfied nod. “Then give Nick a chance to get here tomorrow and explain his reasons for doing what he did. I promise you all,” he continued, his gaze sweeping over all three worried women, “This is a far sight more complicated for Nick than you think. Armando doesn’t possess all the information that he needs to decide if he really wants to cancel his wedding. I’m asking all three of you to stall him for more time before he does something he’ll regret.”

  “Whoa, there, Dr. Phil,” Molly drawled, automatically lifting her hand up in the air to stop Devil from carrying on. “I won’t do that. Whatever Nick’s motives were or weren’t, he’s deeply injured that man,” Molly declared, pointing at Mannie. Now sprawled on his back with feet propped on an ottoman, the man now slept, unmoving and drooling. “If Mannie wants to cancel the ceremony, I can’t stop him, Dev. Nobody will be able to do that. He’s a highly emotional, hot headed Latin man that feels like he’s been living a lie with his lover for years. I’m pretty sure that not even Godzilla could slow him down if he decides to end things with Nick.”