But amidst that pool of good vibes, something was bugging me. I hadn’t realized at first, filled with excitement, but Esthelle had paid for the sky trip for all of us. And parachuting was expensive. Even if I knew Esthelle wouldn’t care, it did bother me that she had to spend so much money for all of us, and especially for something this frivolous. I already owed them so much! I didn’t want to lay it on thick with that kind of activity. One way or another, I’d have to find a way to repay the debt I owe them.
Before going back to Adélie and Clemencia, I suggested we stop someplace to get Chinese food, so that we might share a meal together. And this time, I paid, in spite of Esthelle’s vivid protests, who was posing at the counter like a model with her purple credit-card. I won this fight — I was the alpha after all — and we went back home. I was really eager to get to bed. I hadn’t slept for almost forty-eight hours, and even werewolves needed to sleep. I’d sleep in Johan’s new tee, the one that still had his scent on it, and maybe I’ll get Lola to sleep with me too, or even Milo. Or both. How could I possibly sleep if I didn’t feel safe? I couldn’t. I’d soon perk up again, but until then, the others had to meet me halfway. For now, there was no showering or sleeping alone.
Once we finally got home, I jumped out of the car with the noodles, the fried rice and the dim sums. I was starving, and it gave me wings. I barged into the living-room — food does give you wings — and I found the girls setting the table while Colin was playing. Yes, he wasn’t asleep yet! I had a little surprise for him. Nothing huge but the child’s menu came with a little toy. It wasn’t much, but I knew he’d like it. “‘Addie! You were gone!” he reprimanded me while jumping in my arms.
I held him tight. He was right, I hadn’t kept my word, I’d left. But I was back, I hadn’t left forever. “Yes, you’re right, I wasn’t here when you woke up,” I said, tousling his hair. “But I wasn’t very far away, and besides, I got you a little present, you wanna know what it is?”
“Present? Yes!” His deception had vanished. I put him back down, and I searched the bags until I found his meal and the toy that came with it. Colin’s eyes widened when he discovered two small cars, a red one and a blue one, wrapped in a plastic bag. He wasn’t a picky kid. In William’s pack, his mother and him had enjoyed some comfort, but they didn’t own much. Colin never had a toy of his own. When the kids received some toys, they were everyone’s to play with. They had to share everything. Granted, it was a good notion to instill in kids, but it felt good to have something of one’s own too. So it wasn’t abnormal to see him this happy. “For me?” he asked, nearly bewildered.
“Yes, take them!” I encouraged him. I opened the plastic bag for him and handed him over the cars. He took them in his hands with extreme caution, as if they were the most precious things in the world. How sweet.
“You want us to try them Coco? You want to see if they go very fast?” Esthelle offered.
“Yeah!” he screamed before running in the hallway. Halfway through, he stopped, turned around, and rushed towards me hugging my legs in a surprisingly strong way. I patted his back; I was caught off guard. “Thanks ‘Addie!”
“You’re welcome, big guy. Now go on and play before we eat.”
“You have five minutes,” Clemencia added, smiling.
“Yes Mommy!” he answered, back in the hallway with Esthelle.
“That’s very nice of you Madelyne but you didn't have to,” Clemencia went on.
“Oh, don’t worry, I got it for free, and I won’t do it every day,” I winked. “It was my pleasure.” That was true. There was nothing more precious than to make a child happy.
She nodded — it was a silent thank you. I grabbed the food out of the bags, and sent Lola and Esthelle, who’d abandoned her young friend, to fetch the glasses. They could use a few seconds of intimacy.
Adélie came towards me and whispered in my ear. “They stopped sulking?”
“Yes, finally!” I whispered back.
“I hope they can be friends.”
“They will. And maybe more than that,” I reassured her. The soulmates’ return prevented us from continuing our secret conversation, but there was nothing else to say.
They left again to play with Colin, and I didn’t hold them back. I wasn’t planning on getting involved in their relationship: if they wanted to talk to me about it, I’ll give them the best possible advice, and of course, I’ll pay attention to how all of this turns out, but I’d rather let things happen on their own. I had been a great Cupid, but my time was over. The two of them knew what they were working with, they knew how I felt about it — that is I definitely wouldn’t oppose their getting-together — and time was everyone’s best friend. If something was to happen between the two of them, I wouldn’t have anything to do with it.
“Colin! Dinner’s ready!” He showed up like hell on wheels, Lola and Esthelle following, and they were all laughing like crazy.
We looked at them thoughtfully. I was surprised to see that the little witch was fond of kids, even if on second thoughts: it seemed obvious. She’d been raised by Adélie, who had this undeniably strong maternal feeling, and Esthelle’s disinterest for the adult life, mixed with her sense of humor and the way she could just make any situation funny proved that she was just a big child, and therefore, she got along with them just fine. But anyhow, Colin was pleased, and that’s what mattered.
Everyone sat and I took the noodles hostage. I really liked spicy food, especially curry and paprika. And the noodles were perfectly spiced up. This was amazing. I also pecked some rice and some Peking duck, even if it wasn’t the best thing I ever ate. However, the dim sums were just… wow. Even food-wise, I was glad I’d left my pack: we only ever ate like steak and pasta. But Chinese food was my thing.
Every dish that needed to be cooked with love, like couscous, boeuf bourguignon, chili con carne, mac and cheese or even fast-food and their burgers, bagels, chicken wings, that was my thing. Food was my thing. It was the most pleasant thing in life. I was glad I had some appetite again, and I was eating like a horse, while the conversation was in full swing. Everyone was in a good mood, Colin was enjoying his meal, Esthelle and Lola were laughing, Milo was telling jokes… It was perfect. A great day and a great evening, far from yesterday’s horrors. I already longed for Johan’s return, and I couldn’t wait for Daniel and my grandma to be here too… Then, I would truly be happy.
“Well, I’ve decided that today, I’d become a vampire,” Esthelle joked, using two flaccid noodles as canines.
I burst into laughter, and so did the others, but I was actually no vampire amongst us, otherwise, they would have been offended by this poor impersonation. Bridget would have bitten her. I missed that handsome blond and narcissist young woman. But I had to get over it, I wouldn’t be able to see her anytime soon. Maybe in a few decades, we’ll meet again, and laugh about the good old days while telling each other’s life story. That’s life. You meet people, they give you strength and they make you happy, and someday, you drift apart, you miss them, sometimes you forget them, and then eventually, years later, you cross paths again, you set off on a new adventure, full of happiness and despair too, and then you lose them again, but that’s okay because you have your heart and your mind to remember them forever.
While I was impersonating Plato — Esthelle better watch out — a thought hit me with full force, I was nearly knocked out. How stupid was I? I used to think that I was only a little dumb, but now… How did I not notice it? I would have punched myself if only I could. Or I would have hired William to do so, he was pretty good at it. Adélie said she’d taken Johan in, but how come there was no trace of him? That was insane! Why didn’t I notice it sooner? Curiosity was a stronger craving than food. It was time for the million-dollar question. “Adélie?” I softly called out.
“Yeah?”
“If Johan has lived with you for so long, then how come I can’t sense his presence in the house? He doesn’t even have a room. I mean, unless he sha
red one with either of you, which I highly doubt.”
Adélie opened her mouth to answer but her sister beat her to it. “You’re a weird kind of a nosy parker,” Esthelle grumbled with her mouth full of rice.
“Well, I have to have some flaw, don’t I?” I sighed.
“No, but I mean, you’re weird. You’ve never looked into our rooms, you never come to the first floor, and you haven’t even asked us what our annex by the garage was for…If I were you, I would have gone through every cupboard of this house by now.”
“Not everyone is as sneaky as you, Esthelle,” Adélie rebuffed before smiling at me. “Don’t listen to her, I’m glad you’re not searching through every cupboard.”
“Hum… thanks, I guess?” I was quite surprised, because they were thanking me for being normal. Granted, I was curious, and liked to know everything that was going on, but I would have never searched their things, nor asked about their private life. I respected the fact that they didn’t want to tell me everything, and it would have been disrespectful of me to stick my nose into their rooms when they had the kindness to take me in. I just stayed in my attic or in the living rooms, and it was fine by me. Maybe other people would have rummaged through the house, but I was hoping to deserve their trust, so I had to trust them too, and look into their things would have been counterproductive.
As for the annex, I did notice it when I first came in, but I didn’t pay it much attention. Next to the garage, it was just a random room at street level, and someone could obviously make a room out of it.
“Johan lives in the annex,” Adélie answered, putting an end to my so-called investigation. “He likes being… alone. He spends a lot of time with us when he’s there, but at night, he likes to ‘go back to his place’ and do his thing. We converted the annex into a sort of studio when we realized that living with a wolf could be complicated.”
“Really? Does that mean that you don’t like living with me?”
“No, it’s different because Johan was much younger than you when he came here. He was seventeen, and his parents had just been murdered in front of him. He was really angry, and when the night fell, he had trouble staying in control of this animal side of him that craved its freedom.”
“Oh right, that’s just the random teenage life for a werewolf. All of us go through these control issues,” I explained. “Kids don’t really realize they’re animals yet, and the turning doesn’t occur at birth, you need time to like build yourself as a person first. When they start to realize they’re not just humans, they don’t understand what’s wrong, and they don’t even try to control themselves. But when adolescence shows up, things get real, and they understand that they have to cohabit with humans. It’s not a very pleasant time to live. I myself went through a rough time.”
Milo was hanging onto my every word. He liked to know more about the way wolves worked, and I rarely gave him lectures about it, that was why he was pleased. And now that I thought about it, I didn’t know much about shapeshifters, I would have to ask him about it if I ever wanted to get to know a little about the way other species worked.
The witches seemed to know about it all — Johan had probably told them, and besides, they’d witnessed it. “Yes,” Adélie went on, “it was hard for him. He always had to turn and to go running in the woods in order to let go of that anger and those violent urges. He scared us once or twice, but he never lost control, and he turned into a great man…” There was a smidge of sadness in Adélie’s eyes. She’d seen Johan grow, and she’d taken care of him. She was kind of a second mother for him. I hadn’t realized until now how much the three of them were connected, even Esthelle. They were a family. They’d shared each other’s lives for eight good years — that had to leave traces.
Adélie was in her mid-thirties, and she had to take care of her little sister and a teenage wolf when she was only twenty-seven years old — it couldn’t have been easy. Every one of them had their issues and things to handle. I admired her, very much. She’d made Johan and Esthelle into the people they are today, and I had to say that she’d done a good job. Our eyes met, and I had the feeling she saw my admiration for her in my eyes.
“So, hum, yeah, Johan leaves in the annex.” Esthelle always had that kind of a talent to ruin the emotional moments. I wondered where that habit came from, definitely not from her sister.
But anyway, I had the information I needed, which was a good thing, but on the other hand, it was wrong. I wanted more, I wanted to go look into this annex.What did my puppy’s home look like? I could learn so many things about him, like did he make his bed? What kind of music was he into right now? Did he decorate his room? I didn’t feel comfortable at the thought of going there in his absence because it wasn’t my thing to rummage around in other people’s stuff, but I was a thousand percent sure he wouldn’t blame me for it. And besides, with all the conundrums he’d kept from me, I had the right to become a pain in his ass and want to get to know him, whatever the cost. “Would you mind my going there later?” I asked hoping the witches would agree to my request.
“Why?” Adélie said suspiciously.
“So I can plant a bomb there and kill you all in your sleep,” I answered, raising my eyes — this suspicion was irritating. Esthelle snickered, but Adélie remained impassive. What was hidden in that damn annex? Why wouldn’t she want me to go? Maybe she just didn’t think Johan would appreciate the fact that a stranger might go through his stuff. But I wouldn’t do that. Well, I wouldn't do just that. “I want to get to know him a little better,” I said again when I realized the witch was expecting an actual answer. “I want to know what he lives in and to feel close to him, since he’s not there, and I miss him.”
Milo choked on a noddle, and turned red. Yeah, well, he didn’t like it, there was nothing I could do for him. I felt kind of stupid saying this in front of everybody, but I was tired of lying and of hiding what I felt. And my pack had access to my mind anyway, so whether I said it outloud or whether they found it on their own, it didn’t change anything.
Lola gave me a reprimanding death stare, while patting Milo’s back, who was finally recovering his breath. I answered, shrugging my shoulders. Would they rather hear lies? I could make an effort for them.
Adélie stared for a long time, and I didn’t lower my eyes. I hated those eye fights, well, my she-wolf hated them. No, actually, we both felt challenged, and not in a good way. Hierarchy was all about the eyes, an alpha never lowered his. He made the others lower theirs — it was a way to submit to which I’d been trained all my life, in order to please William, or even Ryan, but now, those days were over.
The witch finally looked away, and it felt like I’d won. My she-wolf soothed down and went back to sleep deep in my entrails. She was like this little creature sitting in my stomach, tickling me, or growing angry whenever something wasn’t to her liking, and she often did things behind my back, like when she played with my instincts or my primal drives as an animal. But I was in control most of the time.
“There’s a spare key in the kitchen drawer by the sink,” Adélie said, obviously annoyed. “You can just help yourself.”
“Thank you.” My heart stopped pounding for a second to appreciate this piece of news. I was about to see where Johan lived. I mean, where he lived when he wasn’t on a mission to rescue people or save the world. I was eager to go. I wanted to leave the room and run like a crazy-person — and I was one — down to that mysterious annex. But it would have been rude, and it would have been a shame to ruin such a pleasant evening. So I stayed with them, I’d rather not let that pleasant moment go to waste.
The mood was light again soon enough. Even Milo smiled. Esthelle and Lola were passing each other the dishes, Clemencia smiled at the sight of Colin playing with his little cars, and I was eating like crazy. Only Adélie was set back, still brooding over the keys and the annex. I would have to talk to her, I wouldn’t want us to be on bad terms for such a trifle. She was my friend just like everybody else,
and even if Esthelle and her were not actually in the pack, it was close enough. Maybe someday they will be … I would like that.
The food slowly left the plates to go into our stomachs, and we kept on laughing and joking. Adélie finally cheered up for dessert: coconut balls. Meh. It was heavy and doughy, and I only had one — I didn’t like coconut anyway. Colin wasn’t fond of it either, so he ate ice-cream with me without ever letting go of the cars. I was happy. Everyone seemed happy, far from trouble, far from rumble.
What more could I ask for? Nothing.
Except visiting Johan’s bedroom.
Chapter 23
The keys were in my hand, finally. After endless hours spent waiting, wondering, I was going to enter this place of mysteries: Johan’s annex. I felt stupid not having asked myself this question as soon as I’d found out the witches had taken him in. Yes, I wasn’t always bright, but no matter, I had some time, I could take my smart pills. Right, let’s go to Johan’s. Let’s go see what he leaves behind when he goes on rescue missions.
But first, I had to talk to Adélie. In spite of the nice evening we’d had together, I felt she was still angry. She meant a lot to me, and I didn’t want to quarrel with a friend over nothing. Especially since I wasn’t one to dodge my problems and act as if they didn’t exist: explanations and communication were the way to go. And so I let myself up the witches’ floor, and to meet Adélie in her room so we could talk.
As I was walking in the corridor, I stopped. There were whispers coming out of Esthelle’s bedroom. Unless she was into voodoo magic, she was talking to someone. And that someone was Lola. Lola? Wait, what?! No way. Even if I knew it was so terribly wrong to eavesdrop, I couldn’t help it… I stopped in front of the door that had been left ajar and turned into a Peeping Tom.
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