College

by Brianna Blake

  “What’s wrong?”

  “It’s nothing.” Dylan said, still looking at his feet. “It’s just that I thought about BDSM and that reminded me how Natasha is acting weird.”

  “Really?” Julian asked. The previous night, Natasha wasn’t in bed with Dylan. She was sitting in a chair, smoking, and she acted extremely cold.

  “Maybe it’s something I did, I don’t know. She’s always complaining that I’m on her back but it’s just because I miss her…”

  “Dylan,” Julian called, his voice changing for a serious one.

  “What’s up?” Dylan asked, frowning. Julian had halted and now he was staring at something.

  There was no time for Julian to pretend he hadn’t seen anything. Dylan looked at that direction and it was too late.

  Natasha was there.

  Kissing another guy.

  Actually, they were almost doing it right there. Natasha had her leg on his waist, while he held it there. They were making out like they were hungry, devouring a delicious food after starving for so long. Dylan could barely look at the guy’s face. It wasn’t no one he knew. He could only focus at the way Natasha’s body was moving. Exactly like when they were in bed together.

  It was like someone had punched him in the chin. He felt tears in his eyes but tried to hide it. She said she didn’t want a relationship, she said she didn’t want a relationship, he repeated but that didn’t help with the fact that it felt like his heart was literally broken and shattered in a million pieces.

  Julian pulled his arm, forcing him to stop watching the scene. He still tried to look at it over his shoulder, but Julian kept taking him away. When they were far enough, Dylan looked at Julian not able to hold the tears back. Julian hugged Dylan.

  “It’s okay, it’s okay,” Julian tried saying. Dylan pulled away, wiping his wet face with the back of his arm. “You know what, man? Let’s go for a coffee.”

  “Skip the first class?” Dylan whispered. Julian was a very good student, so good he could well be in The Elite, so Dylan really appreciated this invitation. He forced himself to smile behind the tears. “It’s okay.”

  “No, come on.” Julian said and got his arm again, taking the lead. Julian almost never took the lead in any situation. They started walking towards the gates. No one asked where they were going, and this was one of the perks of being an adult in college.

  They got outside, and Dylan was facing the ground, feeling worse than he imagined he could. Julian tried to think about something to say to cheer him up, but nothing came to his mind. They walked through the city until they got to the nearest café. Dylan didn’t get anything, but Julian ordered two cappuccinos. They sat outside, even though it was freezing cold. The inside seemed too packed.

  “Here,” Julian said and handed him one cup. Dylan smiled and accepted it.

  “Thanks, man…” he whispered.

  “I’m sorry that you saw that.”

  “She said she didn’t want a relationship.” Dylan murmured.

  “Yeah but it wasn’t nice even so. She knew you liked her and that you could see her there.”

  “Maybe she wanted me to see it. Like a message that she’s really free to do whatever she wants.” Dylan said again, sighing loudly. He felt like crying again but he didn’t want Julian to see it. He wanted to go back to bed. “Why do I have to like her?”

  “She has this incredible energy…” Julian said, drinking the coffee. “I get why you like her. She’s always uplifting.”

  “When she went there to face Carl with me, she even said… I was her boyfriend. Clearly not.” Dylan said, angry.

  “I’m sorry, man.” Julian said.

  “I get why she doesn’t want a relationship. It’s too much pain.”

  “I know. That’s also why I’m afraid. I haven’t been in good relationships myself.” Julian confessed. Dylan looked at him.

  “What happened?”

  “Always abusive guys. They always got advantage of me because I’m too nice. I used to give them everything and get nothing back.” Julian said, opening up. Dylan got impressed. He never did that.

  “I’m sorry.”

  “Yeah…”

  They stayed in silence again, sipping their coffee, watching the cars in the streets.

  “I feel like shit. I don’t know what I’m doing,” Dylan confessed. “I don’t know if I want to be in a relationship or not. The girl I like clearly has other plans. I don’t even know what role I’m supposed to be. Am I really a top? Who knows?!”

  “You’re talking to me who refused to even try until last week.” Julian said and they both laughed.

  “Thanks for the coffee. I think I’ll go home now. You should probably go to the next class. Missing two in a row? Not a good idea.” Dylan said. Julian only nodded. They got up and went away.

  ∞∞∞

  Dylan and Natasha had been going out for some time already and Natasha was getting worried. On a Friday night, when she said she was going to Diablo, Dylan expected to be invited. When she didn’t call him, he was sulky the next day. The pressure was increasing. Sometimes, when Natasha didn’t answer his messages for a few hours, Dylan would pressure her, ask why she had disappeared, where she was, who she was hanging out with. But the worst happened on a Sunday night.

  They had just had sex in Natasha’s room. They were cuddling in her bed. Dylan was almost asleep when he said, “I love you. I want you to be mine.”

  “What?” Natasha exclaimed, but the boy was already snoring.

  Her heart was pounding now. It was her biggest fear. The reason she didn’t want to start going out with Dylan for a start. She didn’t want him to get attached.

  When Dylan woke up, Natasha wasn’t in bed. She was sitting on a chair, smoking with the window open, which made the room feel freezing. Dylan shuddered and sat up, pulling the cover to his naked body.

  “Do you smoke?” he asked, his voice hoarse from sleep. Natasha was already in her clothes and faced him. The room was dark.

  “Yes. Why?” she asked, sharply. “Maybe you want to control this too?”

  “No? I didn’t know, that’s all…” Dylan said, pushing the blankets away, upset.

  He didn’t like to see her doing that, or drinking, or getting hurt.

  She didn’t care what he liked or disliked.

  He stood up, searching for his clothes. “Will you want to go out and grab something to eat?”

  “No. Thanks. I’m not hungry,” she said, staring at the window. Dylan felt his stomach tighten into a knot.

  “Is there anything wrong?”

  “No, I’m just not hungry,” Natasha said, trying to make her voice soft.

  Dylan nodded.

  “So, I think I’ll go now...” he said, heading for the door. Natasha nodded and smiled but didn’t move.

  Dylan closed the door as he left. He felt like throwing up.

  Natasha got back to bed after a while. She felt like crying. She was so confused about her life. What she should do or not. About what she believed. Dylan was a nice guy, but she didn’t want to end up like her mother. Her mother had chosen to be a slave to her father. However, she always put the slave life first. It came before her children, her own well-being, everything. Her father controlled all her mom’s life, even though that was her wish. It wasn’t how Natasha wanted to end up. She didn’t like the idea of controlling someone else’s life or being controlled. But she also really liked kink.

  Not even five minutes later, Dylan called her. She felt like throwing up when she saw the phone vibrating. She closed her eyes, sighing, and decided not to pick it up. However, Dylan called again.

  “Hey?” Natasha answered, trying to pretend to make a nice voice.

  “I don’t understand why you did that to me,” he said, accusative. Natasha felt tears in her eyes.

  This wasn’t what they had agreed.

  “I just wasn’t hungry…” Natasha answered but she really felt like turning the phone off.

  �
��You can’t do that to me. You didn’t even ask if I was hungry.”

  The drama… she thought.

  This couldn’t keep going like that. He knew she didn’t even want a monogamous relationship. She really believed in polyamorous. And that’s not what he wanted.

  She would have to make a drastic decision, even if it broke everybody’s hearts.

  ∞∞∞

  Dylan decided to go to class. He wanted to distract himself, and it would be good to talk to Oliver about the matter. He felt extremely nervous to walk there and find her, but she wasn’t there. He sat next to Oliver, ready to tell him the story, but just as he was wondering what might have happened, if she would really skip the class, the girl came into the room. And she was being held by a guard, who didn’t seem happy at all.

  The teacher stared at her, sternly. It was precisely Mr. Thompson, the one who had given her the spanking on the first day of class. She wasn’t wearing a tie, her hair was messy, and her makeup broke the dress code more than usual.

  “Ms. Abraham!” the teacher exclaimed. Dylan’s heart raced for her. “What’s wrong, Mr. Klyde?”

  “She was doing… sexual acts… right behind the building.” Mr. Klyde said with disgust.

  “Okay. Enough. The headmistress will deal with you, not me.” Mr. Thompson said, loudly, shocked. “Come with me. And, you all, start the exercise on page 123,” he said, to the classroom, as he took the girl’s arm.

  “No need to hold me like that, I can walk!” Natasha said as the teacher got her out of the room.

  When they left, the room burst into laughter and conversation.

  Dylan felt sick. Oliver looked at him, confused, his eyebrows together.

  “What the…?”

  “I need to tell you something, man,” Dylan said and started the story about seeing her kissing the other guy.

  “Why? Why does she do that?” Dylan said after he finished. He really wanted to cry.

  “This time it’s more serious,” Oliver said, also worried. Dylan’s mouth felt dry. “They went to the headmistress.”

  “What can happen to her?” Lucy asked, startled.

  “Maybe even expulsion,” Oliver said what they were thinking.

  In apartment 39, Dylan was sitting on the couch, swinging his leg, head buried in his hands. Oliver couldn’t stay still either, going from the bedroom to the kitchen to the living room again. He decided that he would make lunch to have something to do. Lucy was sitting next to Dylan, trying to calm him down.

  The girl appeared there after some hours. She didn’t look nearly as bad as her colleagues thought, though she had no makeup on anymore. Everyone stood up at the same time, waiting for the news.

  “What happened to you?” Lucy asked in a squeaky voice as the girl came in and closed the door behind her, letting the cold outside.

  “What do you mean, guys? What’s up?” Natasha asked, as if nothing had changed, and smiled. The same fake smile they knew so well. That smile they knew that was just a mask.

  “What were you thinking, Natasha?!” Oliver asked from the stove where he was cooking. Natasha frowned. “These things go permanently into your file!”

  “I don’t need to explain myself to you, Mr. Dom.”

  “Natasha… but why? I thought… we thought you had changed…” Dylan said, his voice hoarse.

  Natasha glared at him.

  “That’s what you wanted from the beginning, right? To change me. Even though we talked so much about how I didn’t want a relationship. How I don’t like to be dominated.”

  “Of course not!” Dylan exclaimed.

  “I don’t have to explain myself to you either, I do what I want, you don’t get to tell me what to do. I have not changed, and I do not intend to change. And I just came here to get a thicker coat, because I’m going out. Don’t wait for me.”

  “Where are you going?” Dylan asked, getting annoyed.

  “It’s none of your business,” she answered in a sarcastic tone and winked.

  No one said anything else. Natasha left them there, went to the bedroom, and a few seconds later, she got out of the apartment.

  Dylan felt like he had received another punch in the stomach. Lucy sat back beside him, patting his arm, but couldn’t find any words to say.

  Oliver served them lunch a few minutes later. Salmon with broccoli, carrots, and peas. It was very good, but Dylan could barely taste it. They ate quietly, quickly.

  “I have to go to work,” Oliver said, approaching Dylan. He put his hand on his shoulder. “You’ll be fine?”

  “Yes. I will.” Dylan said with a shrug. “She said several times she didn’t want compromise, right?”

  “Try to get distracted today. Go see a movie or something.” Oliver said. Dylan nodded, upset.

  He couldn’t believe she was doing this to him.

  She couldn’t believe she trusted him not to control her.

  So, they stayed away, upset, alone.

  Chapter 15. Diablo

  “So, will you help me organize the party? Wow, I’m nervous. I’ve never had a party before.” Julian said at dinner with Dylan and Oliver.

  “Sure thing. Next Saturday, isn’t it?” Oliver asked. “How many people are you thinking of inviting?”

  “Like fifteen, right?” Julian asked. Oliver nodded. “Dylan, will it be at your place? Because of… you know, Carl.” Julian asked Dylan, who was staring at nothing, thoughtfully. Julian was trying to help Dylan take his mind off Natasha.

  “What? Oh… yeah.” Dylan said, turning his attention back to the conversation.

  “Are you still thinking about her?” Julian asked, frowning.

  Dylan shrugged and changed the subject, “who will make dinner? Or should we order some Chinese food?”

  “I’m meeting Lucy now,” Oliver said. “It’s date night.”

  “Fine,” Dylan said and sighed. They got silent, looking at each other. Oliver felt a little guilty about his friend but needed to pay attention to his own relationship as well, as he worked too much during the week.

  “I’d like to order Chinese food,” Julian said and smiled. Dylan nodded and got his phone. His heart raced with anticipation. He quickly checked the messages. None from Natasha. He felt a wave of discouragement. Nothing. No sign of her.

  They hadn’t spoken in a week, though Dylan spent more time in their apartment than on his own. Every time he showed up, she wasn’t there. When he saw her in the halls, they hugged, pretending that nothing had happened, but that was all.

  “And I’m off. Will you be fine, man?” Oliver said, getting up.

  “Sure. Have fun.”

  “Want to watch a match?” Julian asked, leaving the table and going to the couch. Dylan shrugged. “It could be a movie.”

  “You decide.” Dylan said, but didn’t move to go to the TV. Julian sighed.

  “I see you don’t really want to do that.”

  “I can only think of her. Julian, tell me the truth. You’re her roommate and she says you’re her best friend. Do you know where she is now?”

  Dylan looked Julian in the eye, but the boy looked away, blushing slightly. Dylan felt his heart race with anxiety.

  “Yeah, I know.”

  ∞∞∞

  Dylan hesitated to enter the club. Diablo. It had caused him so much anxiety in the first time he went there. He had wondered for so long what it would be like to go to a real BDSM club. Now, after the first time, he no longer wanted to go there again. He liked parties, but he really preferred to stay home eating pizza and watching movies, and then sex if possible.

  He cursed under his breath.

  What are you doing here? You’re pathetic. We’re clearly not dating. She’s right, you have no right to come after her, he kept thinking. That was stupid, he would turn and walk away.

  “Dylan?” he heard someone calling. Dylan was right next to the door, deciding whether to leave. He felt his heart race and saw it was the man who had done the scene with him the first time.
Master. He had found that name funny that time. Now he thought it was stupid. He should have asked his real name.

  He was dressed in much the same way as the last time. Shirtless, black pants and a belt. It occurred to Dylan that he should tan because his orange skin color couldn’t be natural.

  Dylan smiled, trying to be nice, despite how he felt. The man was not to blame.

  “Do you remember my name? I haven’t been here for months.”

  “Of course. That night’s still in my head.” Master said, getting closer. He was much taller than Dylan and much bulkier. “Came to play again?”

  “Nah. Just watch.”

  “A drink?” he asked. Dylan shrugged.

  The two went to the bar in the corner. The place was full. Many scenes of people having fun. Dylan felt suddenly nauseous. The smell of sex permeated the air with the sound of people moaning, screaming, some even crying.

  “What’s your name, huh?” Dylan asked after the man ordered two gin and tonic for them.

  “Master.”

  “No, your name,” Dylan said and took the glass. Master stared at him, amused.

  “I don’t say my name.”

  Dylan shrugged and took a sip. “Okay.”

  “It’s Joseph,” Master said, smirking. His teeth were too white.

  “I thought you didn’t say your name.”

  “And I rarely lend my slaves to a boy I met at the club, but I did that day, didn’t I?” Joseph said, looking at Dylan with desire.

  Dylan smiled but said nothing. He wasn’t in the mood.

  “What happened? You look pretty sad.” Joseph asked when they were finishing the drink.

  “It’s this girl I like. Everything went wrong and now she’s here somewhere.”

  “And you came to look for her?” Joseph asked, finding it a little funny.

  “Yeah. I came to see what she’s doing. The reason she’s not with me. I know I shouldn’t. I’m pathetic.”

  “Let’s play a scene. You’ll forget this girl.” Joseph said. Dylan nodded, still feeling bad.

  ∞∞∞

  It was already Natasha’s third partner. She felt particularly like a top. Her current partner was the most submissive she had ever been with. He was never tired of being beaten and she was having fun. She had already had many drinks and had a bottle of vodka at her feet. She whipped him once more. He moaned in pain and pleasure. Natasha smiled and stopped for a sip.