by Unknown
"Hello?"
"Hello, this is Margot Wilson from the Southampton Hospital. I am calling regarding a young woman. Her name is ..."she pauses as I hear her asking for the documents in the background” Sarah Leaded. She was just brought in.”
"What...what happened” I feel my voice failing me
"I am very sorry miss..."
"What happened?" I yell
"Miss calm down, a car accident. She is in surgery at the moment. We still don't know... Are you family? I called at this number since it was on speed dial on her cell phone”
"No, I mean yes. I will be there as soon as I can ..."
I end the phone call and I return to the living room. My feet are trembling .I don't think I can stand yet another person that I love being taken away from me.
"Guys..." I try to raise my voice so that they can hear me. "Guys..." I repeat since they don't seem to have heard me.
"Guys!!" I finally yell, tears running down my cheeks. They finally look at me and Aiden is the first one to stand and ask what is going on. I manage to say what's happened but I feel my vision darkening. I am falling and falling, but I don't hit the ground. I don't know how much I have been out but as I open my eyes, I am greeted by those sapphires that I love so much.
"What..." I feel my head pounding as I try to stand up.
"No, no don’t. You fainted. Sarah's been in an accident if you remember.
At once everything comes back. I jolt upright.
"How is she, take me to the hospital. Now!"
"She is fine for now. She's out of surgery. Some glass apparently pierced her skin and they had to remove it carefully. She is fine so don't worry when you are not well yourself. "
"Take. Me. There. Now" I say through gritted teeth. „I don't care how I am. She could have died Aiden. God she could have died”
"She..." I cut him off.
"Don't you dare tell me that she is fine? She is not and I have to be by her side. Now"
He shakes his head in disapproval but helps me stand and we go to his car.
Once at the hospital I see Thomas pacing nervously in front of her door. Brad and Brianna are on a bench. "How is she?”
"The doctor says she is out of danger for now. They are waiting for the anesthetic to wear off." We wait there for what seems like an eternity until a nurse finally tells us she's woken up. Thomas is the first to see her. When I can finally go in I break into sobs
"Sweetie...." I say kneeling by her bed. Her eyes are droopy and her face covered in bruises. She takes my hand and feebly squeezes it
"I could have lost you..." I say through tears.
"But you didn’t” she smiles at me.
"You have no idea how much you mean to me ..."
„Oh Kate I know, I love you too”
I hug her and whisper soothing words when Brad comes in.
"I'll let you two..." I smile at her and wipe my tears.
As I exit I come face to face with Brianna...
"I am sorry” she whispers...” I see how much you care for her. I am sorry..."
"It's ok ..." I assure her.
"Maybe we can start all over?"
„Ok. I am Kate”
"Brianna. Nice to meet you”
We both giggle and she gives me a hug. In times like this people become united. The rest of the day passes in a daze. We settle that I will stay the night with her and the others leave.
"So... what do you want me to read to you?"
I ask her.
"Hmmm" she smiles while she thinks.
"Something funny. No, no, forget that. Hmm something romantic. If I weren't in this state I would have chosen something mysterious or horror but I am already living kind of a nightmare , I don't need another one to plague my sleep . I start reading her my favorite passages from Jane Eyre but sleep soon claims both of us.
Chapter 10
Brad and Brianna had to head home early, well not early considering the fact that we prolonged our stay, but he said something about having practice and his coach being very strict. He was so sorry that he had to leave his sister here but he said he was likely to be thrown out of the team if he missed it. Brianna of course went with him. I am so tired, I have stayed all day in the hospital and to be honest I am glad Thomas stayed the night. I can finally take a shower and relax a bit. We arrive at the house and I feel a little bit weird since it's just Aiden and me.
"I'll go take a shower and then I'll fix us something to eat" I inform him and I head for my room.
"Ok" he says and also retires to his room.
One hour and a really long shower later I am ransacking the fridge, thinking what Aiden would prefer to eat.
"You know, you don't need to do anything fancy, I am fine with whatever" I jump, startled and I see him standing at the table.
"God, you gave me such a fright” I say, my hand going involuntarily to my chest. “How long have you been standing there?”
"Long enough” he says and smirks.
He was probably laughing inwardly at me. I frown but don't say anything else. I finally decide that some eggs and bacon will do. Easy and fast to make. Even my inability to cook (food, sweets I can manage) can be overlooked this way. After eating I start cleaning and he brings over a bottle of something...I squint my eyes and see its whisky. He remembered. He pours the drink into two glasses and calls me to join him.
I do and after a few gulps I finally let myself reflect on what has happened lately.
"I almost lost her...yet another important person" I say, more to myself.
He studies me for a second but does not comment.
Tears well up in my eyes and I take another gulp. He then places his hand over mine and stops me „Easy, I didn’t bring this so you can drown your sorrow. I thought it might help you relax... Ever since you received the news you have been so tense and lost in your thoughts..." he trails off
"I...I don't know what I would have done had I lost her too...it would have been too much...too much.”
"She's fine, you can relax now...”
"God I was so scared..."
Then it dawned on me. You can never know what to expect. Every second may be a life saver or may be your last. Every breath counts ...I slowly lift my gaze and look at him. The man I have loved for the last five years is standing right beside me...not remembering me , but does it really matter ? I don't have forever , I can't possibly know if I have a tomorrow , yet I have tried to deny these feelings when all this time it's been only him . I thought about it for quite some time. Even when I found out he did not
T recognize me , I did not go and throw myself at the first guy I came across just to vent my anger and frustration and that is because all this time it's been him . I know I will get hurt, I know he'll look at me and see her but I need this closure. I need to know that when I take my last breath I won't have any regrets.
"Carpe diem” I whisper. He meets my gaze. „Seize the day?”
"Treasure every moment” I manage before I kiss him. He is surprised but he kisses me back. His hands roam around my body, settling on the small of my back and he draws me closer. His lips are hot on my own and I pour into this kiss everything. I kiss him for the boy I fell in love with five years ago, I kiss him for the man I love now. Only love and him, him, him. He sweeps me into his arms and takes me upstairs without even breaking the kiss. After entering his room he closes the door and pushes me into the wall. He cups my bottom and my legs circle his waist .I press myself into him, wanting to feel more, everything.
"God Kate, don't go where you aren't ready to go" he whispers and I move my hips once more. He groans and resumes the kiss.
"Bed, now” I manage in a strained tone. He complies and on the way both his shirt and my dress end up on the floor. I hit the bed, on my back, with him looming over me. I take a moment to admire his beauty. His chiseled cheekbones that make him look like a statue brought to life, his sexy lips that just beg me to kiss them and finally his wonderful eyes. I could just loo
se myself in their intensity. He kisses my neck and across my collar bone. I feel like any moment I will combust. There is a fire in me that I never knew existed. It's like I am boosted with this surge of passion that flows freely through my veins and spreads throughout my whole body. I want more. He takes my bra off and next is my panties. His breath is huffed "Tell me to stop please „he says and I shake my head. "God, please Kate tell me to stop before you will regret it „he tells me again
"Carpe diem, Aiden" I smile at him and I add
"Now kiss me please” he looks at me baffled for a second, before his mouth comes crashing down on mine . My hands go to his jeans and I unbuckle his belt. Soon both his jeans and boxers are on the floor. "Kate, one last chance. “He says raggedly.
"I want you, now, Aiden!"
He groans and whispers „I promise I'll be gently...god I don't want to hurt you"
He takes a condom from the pocket of his jeans and slides it on.
"Fuck baby, you're so wet” he says as he probes at my entrance.
"I will go slowly ok?" He says and I nod
I can feel him slowly entering me. Oh this hurts. A bit... A bit too much. I bite my lip and he suddenly stops.
"You ok babe?" He asks as he kisses my forehead. I nod again.
"I'll go all in now and let you get used to me" and he does. In one smooth stroke he is all in and I gasp. I can feel him stretching me, making me full.
"It's ok now, you can move” I tell him and he starts moving slowly. The pain is now gone, replaced by something entirely different. Something that shakes me to the core. He begins thrusting, again and again, faster and harder. I feel something building up inside me.
"Let it go baby, let it go" he says and I do. We both come at the same time and it's one of the most intense feelings I have ever had. This moment I know a connection was forged between us and I relish the feeling.
We are both panting hard and he collapses next to me.
"Wow...that was... "
"Awesome" I continue and I start giggling, remembering our first kiss ... my first kiss. Now he's the owner of almost all my firsts.
I scoot closer to him and he cradles me in his arms. We stay like this for what seems like hours, no words. Eventually we both fall asleep.
Chapter 11
I am surrounded by darkness; everything is void of feeling, of light, of warmth. My mother’s face appears out of nowhere, a frown marring her perfect features.
“You’ve been only trouble. Oh how I wish you were more like her cousin. “
Then suddenly her face is replaced with my cousin’s.
“I have always been better than you, deal with it. Not even your own mother loves you, why would anyone else?”
“You are such a failure. I have always wanted a lady, not a tomboy. You are a disappointment to me” My mother’s eyes look at me with hatred.
“Baby girl don’t ever change, I love you just the way you are. “
Daddy…. His voice echoes through the limbo in which I am caught. I try to hold on to it, to let it guide me.
A flicker of light appears at the end.
“I am here princess, I will always be “Aiden’s smiling face greets me from within the light. I am flooded with relief. That’s right, I am not alone …. But then everything disappears and I see him holding that girl. Pain and panic seize me. Suddenly I am standing on a cliff and I am about to fall. I see his outstretched hand and I try to get a hold of it. But he pulls back and I am falling. Down. Down. Down.
I am soaked in sweat. I open my eyes to find Aiden shaking me awake.
“What …? “
“Bad dream? You were screaming and crying….I didn’t know what else to do. “He says as he brushes the hair out of my face. I wrap my arms around his neck and breathe in the scent of him.
“Want to talk about it? “ I shake my head. I can’t tell him. I know I couldn’t possibly manage the words to describe the dreams that have been plagued me for years. It always starts with the same darkness, feeling of loneliness, of abandonment, and it always ends the same. Everyone leaves me behind. My mom, my dad, my whole family….and even Aiden. He’s always the one to end me. I am breathing hard and I still can’t shake that feeling off.
Donning on a robe I get out of bed and head downstairs to prepare something to eat. After checking on Sarah and making sure everything is alright, actually after being assured about one hundred times that there is no need for me to go there, I set the table. Aiden comes as well, having put on a pair of pajama bottoms and a grey shirt.
As I take in his appearance a few questions start tugging at the back of my mind. Should I? I mean I really should…I deserve as much… after…
“Aiden…”
“Huh?”
“I know it’s not my place to ask but…”
I trail off, a little bit unsure if I should really ask him this. I don’t want to cause a drift between us….meddling in. He looks at me expectantly and I summon up the courage to continue
“You mentioned a girl some time ago and… you said she looked like me … What happened?”
He is a boot shocked, I think, by the way his eyes widen at hearing my question. For a minute or so he seems lost in thought and I hurry up to apologize, thinking I have struck a chord.
“I’m really sorry, I should not have asked that, I didn’t mean to pry. “
“No, it’s alright. It’s already been so long “He says in a small voice and it’s obvious it’s a tough subject for him. “ I think it would do me good, to a certain degree, to talk about her. Truth is I’ve been bottling it up for so long…”
My heart breaks at the way he struggles with his words.
“I met her when I was quite young and what can I say, I was smitten. She was so sweet and innocent, everything I wasn’t. I think she had my heart the first time I saw her “He smiles ruefully and picks at the food in his plate. “We spent a lot of time together and it was like we were two halves of a whole, if you know what I mean. Then, we had to part for a while. I thought she felt the same as I… but she found someone else. She died while eloping with that guy. I found out a year later. “
“I am so sorry Aiden “I take his hand into mine. “ You must have loved her so much…” I try to sound empathetic, but inside, jealousy was taking over. I can’t believe this, I am jealous of a dead person. Even so, the thought that she is no longer among the living doesn’t give me any peace of mind.
“A lot doesn’t even cover it. For a while I thought she was my whole reason. But eventually I have learned to deal with it, as I have dealt with all the shit in my life. “
I know I am already out of the line, but I can’t help myself.
“Do you... still have feelings for her?”
He smiles at me, knowing too well why I am asking this . . .
“I don’t think I will ever love someone as much, but… time has turned her into a memory.”
“And since it’s confession time “he smirks, trying to clear the gloomy air, “What about you? You also said something about an ex-lover having failed you “
I am at loss of words; I didn’t think he would turn this conversation to me. Think, think, and think.
“Oh…that guy…”
He is watching me intently.
“He was my first love. I was very naïve at that time. He asked me to save myself for him. To wait for him. And I did exactly that. What can I say? “I shrug “I was too hopelessly in love with him at the time “
“And now?”
“Now what?”
“Are you still hopelessly in love with him?”
“Yes “I whisper softly. “Anyway, he’s been cheating on me all this time. I even caught him…”
“That must have been awful, did he have anything to say in his defense? “
“Not really, he didn’t even recognize me. I guess I was fantasizing this whole time about my knight in shining armor, when for him I was just a fling “
“He must really be an ass
hole if he didn’t even notice what he lost “
“I guess….” You have no idea Aiden. “But I am such an idiot, I have all this evidence he’s all wrong for me yet somehow I still have strong feelings for him. I also thought I could turn him into nothing more than a memory, another experience from which I learned that trust is not to be bestowed upon anyone. But….”
“He is still there” He finishes for me.
“Yes. He is indeed everywhere and in everything. I say and I can feel a tear slipping away. He extends his hand and wipes it away, giving me a comforting smile.
“You will be able to forget him, eventually. Believe me. It’s been hard for me as well; I had a period of continuous one-night-stands, with nameless women, in which I would picture her face. And always , in the morning I would think it’s her I throw her out , it’s her I am hurting , It’s her I am paying back for that betrayal . “
I giggle “Oh, Brad has mentioned you’re….habits.”
“Ah, indeed, old habits die hard.” he says and laughs as well.
We finish our meal and I clean up .I am washing the dishes and out of the sudden I feel him behind me. He softly strokes my neck with his fingertips and starts trailing kisses all across it. I close my eyes and a moan escapes my lips.
“Mom…. I like it when you do that. “He whispers.
“What? “I say, half moaning again.
“Those sounds. “He breathes into my ear and it sends a shiver down my spine. He turns me so that I am facing me and continues kissing my jaw, slowly reaching my bottom lip. He catches it between his teeth and nibbles at it. I gasp and circle my arms around his neck, giving him full access to my mouth. One our tongues meet, I feel I have stepped into another land. A land which brings only pleasure and nothing more. He slowly undoes the knot that holds my robe together and then he peels it off my shoulders. Cupping my bottom he lifts me so that I am standing on the counter. He half kisses half licks his way across my collar bone and to my breast and I am already breathing hard. He takes his time, slowly numbing my senses, building my anticipation for what is to come next.