Light (The Shadows Series)

by Amber Lacie

  There is so much pain. White searing lights flash behind my closed eyes, burning and blinding me, even in my dreams. I try to raise my hands to block it, but I can’t move. My head is throbbing, and my legs feel numb, except for the stabbing pain surrounding my knee. Voices float around me. I strain, as I try to grasp onto them. Am I still in the house? I faintly remember a loud sound, followed by Anne’s scream. Someone else was yelling, there was a popping sound, and then it sounded like someone was coming up the stairs, followed by darkness and silence.

  I could feel my body swaying. It felt like someone was pulling at me, but then my body went still. I can’t move anything. My mind isn’t cooperating. I want to feel something, anything. I try to move my fingers again, and pain soars through my veins. Hot, intense pain spreads over me. The light fades and it is dark again.

  There is something about the lake that calms me. It is not just one particular thing. The sounds of seagulls, the cool breeze on my skin, the waves lapping at the sand, and the feel of the water rushing over my toes, sends me into a blissful state. I am sitting in the sand with my knees bent and pulled to my chest. My white skirt billows in the air. Trying to trap it, I wrap my arms around my knees. The cool water rushes over my toes. I feel at peace.

  I am not sure how long I sit here, before my heart grows lonely. I miss him so much, but my body is stuck on this beach. A million thoughts bounce around in my head, but nothing makes sense. I need him. I need to hear his voice, and feel his breath on my skin. I am getting anxious. I worry what will happen if I don’t leave this place soon. My desperation overcomes me, and I swear that I hear his voice.

  His scent wraps around me, his voice rings in my thoughts. He is so close and I can’t reach him. I am not sure if he even sees me. God, I just want to open my eyes. I need to know that he is okay. My heart is breaking at the thought of knowing that I could have lost everything. The pain is so intense, I think of dying, but I can’t. I can’t let go of him. My heart is pounding, as the darkness pulls me under once again.

  The sun is warm on my skin. I revel in it, but then I remember him. Why can’t I stay with him? Why can’t I just focus? Everything is so cloudy and confusing. I imagine the feel of his lips on my skin; it feels so real. My skin is buzzing just from the thought of him. Taking a deep breath, I try to breathe him in. The current under my skin fades, and his scent drifts away. A sob wrecks my body, when I finally accept the fact that I can’t reach him. At first, I thought this might be heaven, but it has to be hell. Anywhere without him is.

  Turning my head, I notice someone walking towards me. Matt smiles, his teeth are so perfectly white. “Hey.”

  “Why can’t I go back?”

  “Do you want to?”

  “Yes, I want to go back. I need him.”

  “Are you sure? It’s going to be painful. You will hurt, Eve.” Matt sits beside me and I lay my head on his shoulder.

  “Thank you for coming to get me.”

  “Anytime. I love you.”

  “I know. I love you, too.”

  Oh. My. God. Someone needs to turn off that awful sound screeching in my ears. My eyelids flutter as I try to open them, but it seems pointless. Is that someone’s alarm? I try to turn my head to follow it, but it hurts so bad to move. It stops. Thank fuck. Something clicks. A door, maybe?

  “I’m sorry to wake you, but the doctors should be here shortly.”

  “It’s fine. I set my alarm, so I was just getting up anyways.”

  “How was last night?”

  “She’s still asleep.”

  “I can see that. She will wake up when she’s ready. Her body needs the rest.”

  “I know. I just need her.”

  Theron? He is here. Oh God, he is here. Someone else is here too, but I don’t recognize the voice. My eyelids are so heavy. I try to open them. I want him to see me. Fuck this. I need to do something else. I stretch my fingers in my left hand. Shit, they hurt! I hear some more movement, but no one speaks. There is another click and I can only assume that I am alone again. My heart slams in my chest. I suddenly feel overwhelmed and very warm. They are leaving me. I can’t be alone. Please, oh God, please don’t leave me alone. I stretch the fingers in my right hand, and I feel material bunch under my fingers. It is soft and cool. I need to get their attention, obviously moving my body isn’t going to work. Swallowing some of my spit, I try to wet my throat. I use my tongue to wet my lips, as I spread them apart. Taking a deep breath in, I mutter the first word that comes to mind.

  “Theron.” I wait. There is nothing, not one sound. Oh God, they did leave me. Something brushes against my hand, and I jerk away from it. Please don’t let it be Ben, please don’t let it be him. Bile rises in my throat, as I Imagine his face above me with his hands brushing over my skin. “No!” The scream rips from my throat, as I frantically try to move my body. Someone grasps my shoulders, holding me still. I am going to die, and Theron will never know how sorry I am. He will never know how much I love him. Tears slide down my face and I am able to open my eyes a little. White light seeps into my vision, as the dark clouds looming over me turn into shapes. I can make out the shape of a body leaning over me. Hearing a click, I release a bloodcurdling scream. I try to dig at the hands holding me down with my right arm, but it takes so much for me to move. I am easily pinned down.

  “Jesus Christ! Help her. Fucking help her! What did you do? What did you give her?” It is Theron again. He is back. I turn to the shadow coming closer to me. Please, be Theron. Please, be Theron.

  “Mr. Davidson, I didn’t give her anything. I called for the other nurses. I have her, let her go. Calm yourself, you won’t be any good to her if you are frantic like that.”

  Mr. Davidson? My dad is here? I could have sworn that I heard Theron.

  “The doctor is coming. I promise he will be right here.”

  The pressure on my shoulders releases. I relax and drop my hand back down by my side. A doctor is coming and someone is talking to my dad. Where did Theron go? I know that he is here. “Theron.” A shadow comes closer. I blink trying to focus my eyes. He runs his hands through his hair, but the one lock is stubborn and falls to his forehead. I love that lock of hair. I drink in the features of his face; his beard is rough around the edges. My man needs a trim. My eyes trace the shape of his lips and then his nose. Looking into his eyes, I find myself lost in a sea of colors. Each color pulling me a different direction. A tear runs down my cheek, as I blink again. Theron is right above me. His thumb catches my tear and he brings it to his lips, licking it away.

  “Beautiful, I thought you would never wake up.” He stares at me and I stare right back. I have never seen something so perfect in my life.

  “You’re here.”

  “Yeah, I’m here. I haven’t left your side. I’m not going anywhere.”

  If Theron is here, where is Anne? Where is Ben? My heart races, tears pour down my face. I find his forearm with my hand, and I grab onto him. I cling to him. I need to know. “Ben?” My voice cracks, my broken pieces showing through, as I say his name.

  “Gone, beautiful. I found you. I never stopped looking for you. He can’t hurt you anymore. I promise.”

  “Anne?” More tears slide down my cheeks, as I recall my so-called friend, sitting beside me in that dirty bed, defending Ben.

  “The police have her. You’re safe. I have you.” He gently wipes my tears away. I hear a click and I turn my head to locate the sound. That is when I notice that I’m in a hospital. There are wires on my chest and an IV in my left arm, with bandages on my fingers. Looking down, I notice that my leg is in a huge blue and black brace. No wonder I can’t move.

  “Evelyn. It’s so great to see that you’re awake. Your husband told me you have incredibly beautiful blue eyes. I can see that he wasn’t lying. You’ve been through a lot in the past four days. You have some bruising on your face, back, and sides. You’ve suffered a broken and dislocated knee, three broken ribs, and an isolated skull fracture. Does anything
hurt that I haven’t mentioned?”

  “Everything.”

  “I’m sure it does. I’m going to have the nurse come in and up your dosage of morphine. We are going to try to help you get better, so you can go home. Your husband has been by your side the entire time. That’s quite a guy you have.”

  I furrow my brow, looking over at Theron. Since when do I have a husband? He winks at me when the doctor turns to write something down. So, now we are playing husband and wife? Excitement runs through me, as I picture myself dancing in a white dress with him. I wouldn’t mind being his wife. I watch Theron’s hand softly brush my stomach, and my heart sinks. I open my mouth to ask what my heart fears, and the only sounds is a broken breath.

  “Eve? What’s the matter, baby?”

  Theron looks at me. He looks so worn and broken, it hurts knowing that I am the reason for it. I take another deep breath, puffing my cheeks out, as I release it. Looking down where his hand lays, and then back to his eyes, a tear slides down my cheek.

  “Everything is fine. The baby is fine. I promise.” The tension in my body eases at his words. Thank God. I am so happy that I didn’t have to ask. He knew exactly what I was thinking. Theron softly kisses my forehead and looks back up to the doctor. “When can she come home with me?”

  “We need to check her vision and some other things first. As long as everything is okay, I don’t see why she shouldn’t be able to go home tomorrow. She’s not doing anything here, that she won’t be able to do at home. She’s going to need lots of rest, and will have to stay off of her leg for quite a while.”

  Theron beams at me. His smile is huge. I so badly want to be in his arms. The doctor walks out, leaving me to be with my ‘husband’. I nervously bite my cheeks, as Theron grabs my hand, bringing it to his lips. “I’ve missed you.”

  “I needed you. I swear I could feel you, but I couldn’t get to you. I needed you so badly.” My voice cracks, as I start to cry.

  “Beautiful, don’t cry. I’ve got you now.” He cups my face with his hand, and I turn into it, letting him catch my tears. My lips press against the soft skin of his palm. The comfort I get from knowing that he is here with me is immeasurable. My body soars from his touch and I know everything is going to be okay.

  Time has moved so slowly the past couple of days, and it seems to rush around me, as it tries to catch up. Theron called my family and Kayla, as soon as the doctor left the room. I could hear my mom crying over the phone. I couldn’t make out what my dad or Robert had said, but when Theron called Kayla I could hear her scream with excitement. By lunch, I had seen everyone, but Evan. My room was full of beautiful flowers. I kept asking Theron who they were from and he just shrugged. I know most of them must be from him.

  It is a little after two and my mom is sitting in a chair beside my bed. Her, my dad and Robert are recalling stories from when I was little. They must be funny because Theron keeps booming with laughter. I smile, as I watch all three of them go back and forth, completely mortifying me with embarrassing stories. My eyes grow heavy. I look over at Theron and he catches my stare. He gives me a wink, and I smile back. I close my eyes, as my family surrounds me with love.

  I’m not sure how long I have slept, but it must have been at least a few hours. I clear my throat and reach for the remote attached to my bed. I hit the button, and my bed moves, helping me to sit up.

  “Hey, look who’s up.” Theron kisses my forehead and I turn my head to find Kayla and Robert sitting where my parents were.

  “Mom?”

  “They went to get something to eat. Kayla and Robert are here now. They will only allow you so many visitors.”

  “Oh.” Why the limit on visitors? I am sure they have their reasons, but I want everyone to be here. My stomach rumbles. Theron must hear it because he smiles and pours me a glass of water. The sound of the water rushing into the glass suddenly makes me want to pee very badly. “Bathroom.”

  “I’ll call the nurse. You could probably just let it go, though. You still have a catheter in.”

  Fuck my life. That needs to go. “Can you call her, please? I want to use the toilet.”

  “Sure, babe.”

  It is not long before the nurse comes in and removes it. It pinches, as she carefully pulls it out, but at the same time, I feel relief in knowing that I no longer need it. The nurse and Theron carefully help me into a wheelchair and then roll me into the bathroom. Theron keeps asking me if I am okay or if anything hurts. I keep shaking my head ‘no’ because I’m afraid that my words will betray me. By the time, they have me sitting on the toilet as comfortable as they can possibly manage, my body is covered in sweat. Relief floods through me, as I am able to use the bathroom. Who knew peeing could feel this good?

  They help me back into the chair and then into the bed. My body is shaking and I hiss through my teeth, as they move me back onto the bed. Theron bumps my fingers, as he tries to gently lay my leg back down on the pillow they have propped under me. “Fuck!”

  “I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry.”

  I can’t manage any words, as the pain spreads its way through my body, setting my nerves on fire, so I just nod my head. I know he didn’t mean to, but my body fucking hurts. The nurse gives me another dose of morphine through my IV. The pain calms and I drift to sleep again.

  I open my eyes and find the room lit dimly. The lights are glowing softly. Grasping the remote in my hands, I push the button, raising my bed so that I can sit up.

  “Ssh.” Following the voice, I see Evan sitting on a couch by the window. “Theron’s asleep.” I look beside me and see Theron reclined in a chair beside me. He looks so peaceful. “How are you feeling?”

  “I hurt.”

  “Yeah. That’s going to happen. He hasn’t left your side.” Evan nods to Theron and a soft smile plays on my lips.

  “So, I’ve been told. Evan, how did they find me?”

  “Who? The police?”

  “Yeah. How did they know where I was?”

  “They didn’t. Theron made it my job to find you and I did.”

  “You found me?”

  “I was just doing my job. He loves you, Eve. He’d walk through the hottest fires in hell to get to you. I’ve never seen fear like that before, and I have held soldiers in my arms, while they took their last breath. He needs you; he doesn’t exist without you. I thought he was going to kill them when we found you, but he didn’t get the chance.”

  “What happened?”

  “It’s not my place to tell you. You’ll have to ask him.” I look to Theron and he is still sound asleep. Evan doesn’t say anything else. The nurses come to check on me, and someone brings me a warm bowl of soup. I finish with my dinner and look over at Evan. Theron is still fast asleep.

  “Evan.”

  “Yeah.”

  “I’m sorry.” I take a deep breath, causing my sides to pinch, as I try to hold back my sobs. “Everything, all of this, is my fault. If I would have just told someone sooner, if I wouldn’t had hidden things. I’m so fucking sorry.”

  “Eve, no, this isn’t your fault. You couldn’t have known what they were doing.”

  “Does he hate me? Is he mad at me?”

  “Do you really think he would be here if he did? That man loves you. Don’t question it because of some wrongly placed guilt you feel.”

  “I just—”

  “Stop.” I glance at Theron and his face is twisted with anger. “Stop, right now. None of this is your fault. None of it. I have a list of people to blame and you are nowhere close to being on it.”

  “Can one of you please tell me what happened? How did you find me?” Neither one of them will look at me. “Evan?” He looks to the ground, avoiding my gaze. “Theron?” He doesn’t answer. Silence fills the room; you could hear a pin drop. “Damn it. Somebody tell me!” Theron jumps at the sound of my voice.

  “No. Not right now. That’s my final word on the matter.”

  “Final word? What the hell, Theron? I deserve to kno
w.” Theron stands and starts pacing beside my bed. Raking his hands through his hair, he lets out a sigh.

  “You do. I won’t deny that, but I don’t trust myself to tell you right now. I don’t know if I can tell you and control my actions at the same time. Right now, I want to crush those people beneath my shoe. I want to skin them and hang their bodies out to dry in the hot sun. I want to take everything that they’ve ever had from them and destroy it. I want to torture them by breaking their minds, before I break their bodies. I don’t know if I can hold back my anger. I just got you back. I’m not going to risk losing you because of my hastiness. Let me pull my thoughts together. When we get home, it’s just us and you’re wrapped in my arms in our huge soft bed, I’ll tell you anything you want to know. Just not now. Please don’t make me do it now.”

  “Okay.”

  “Okay?”

  “Yeah. Okay.” I lean my head back against the pillows, trying my best to keep tears from falling. Reclining in my bed, I close my eyes.

  Ouch! I stretch my arms out above me, trying to loosen my muscles. If he would just let me out of bed, besides to shower or use the bathroom, I would be able to stretch my muscles a little bit better. I have been laying in the bed for six days. I need to move. My sides are still a little sore, but it doesn’t hurt to breath anymore. My leg still hurts, and I know that it is only going to be worse when I start putting weight on it. I have a follow up appointment with the orthopedic surgeon. Getting out of the house is going to be interesting. I can still remember Theron and me arguing, as he carried me up the stairs when they released me from the hospital.

  He was so insistent on me sleeping in our bedroom. I thought it would have been easier downstairs in a spare bedroom, but he refused. For one thing, there wouldn’t have been so many stairs involved, not that I was walking up them anytime soon, but he had to carry me up the stairs. Although, being cradled in his arms with my head laying on his chest, breathing in his intoxicating scent wasn’t really a bad experience. Just thinking of his strong arms around me, has me closing my eyes and wishing that I could clench my legs together. That is another knot that I need worked out, and I am afraid that he is not going to touch me anytime soon. I know that he doesn’t want to hurt me, but if he doesn’t touch me soon, I may die.