Don’t call me bro. You’re not my brother.
Eva sat up and kissed Ethan’s cheek. “Go for it. I’m rooting for you.”
Her encouragement didn’t help any. Ethan stood and walked closer to the fire, where Shane was hopping on his toes. Ethan raised his hands, preparing to block. Shane anchored his feet and readied his fists. He faked out Ethan once, then a second time. Both times, Ethan flinched.
“Don’t be afraid. It’s your one weakness,” Eva advised. The other kids ate that up, laughing at Ethan’s outward display of fear.
He needed to prove himself. Why be scared? he thought. If Shane wants me to hit him, then…
Ethan swung a powerful punch. It missed. His moment of complete confidence crushed. Shane countered with a strike to Ethan’s belly, which incapacitated him. Though he fell to his knees, Shane didn’t back away and the audience continued to root for him, except loyal Eva. Ethan looked to his sister, who was mouthing something – encouraging words, instructions, or whatever they were. If she believed in his potential, that was enough. His mind told him that there were other places to target, not only the face or stomach. With virtually no thought or conscious aim, Ethan kicked Shane’s right knee. The boy dropped, crying for a moment.
“Shit! Did I break something?” said Ethan. He forgot his own gut pain just as quickly.
Shane started laughing half a minute later. His mother looked concerned, but didn’t react. “Good shot, good shot. Didn’t… see that… coming. You might have fucked up my leg pretty good, though.”
Ethan helped his friend stand. “I’m sorry.”
“Dude, don’t worry about it. I think we’re done for now, though.”
After Ethan reluctantly sat beside his sister again, she leaned in and whispered, “See? Told you. It’s better when you just go for it. Like jumping in a pool: you just gotta jump.”
Ethan agreed, internally. Perhaps he could be impressive someday, but he never wanted to hit anyone if it wasn’t necessary. How else am I going to get better, though? He pondered for a minute. I need to be good enough… Having already been in multiple situations where he needed to defend someone, he knew there would inevitably be more. He was so small, though. Challenging much larger people was his top concern, like if a big, burly fat man tried to hurt Eva. How would I fight someone like that? Eva was exactly his size, and Shane was hardly taller. I guess any practice is better than none.
The other kids sparred and the teens complained about their lives. In time, Shane’s mom grew sleepy and decided to take Shane home to his father’s house. Ethan and Eva had convinced the woman long ago that they lived down the street, which apparently was believable enough for her to never question it, so she drove them as well. After arriving, and the mother drove away, Shane led the twins into his garage. Without a word, he rushed inside, then a minute later, came back out with a pillow and blanket.
He yawned as he asked, “You got a watch, right?”
“I do,” said Eva. “It’s four minutes till two A.M.”
“Cool. My dad goes to work at six, so you gotta be gone by then. Like, an hour before then. And don’t smoke or anything, ‘cuz he’ll smell it.”
“We don’t smoke, dude.”
“…Right. I knew that.”
“So, can we come back after your dad leaves?”
“I’ll be at school. I probably shouldn’t let you in…”
Ethan shrugged. “That’s fine. We gotta look around for a new place to sleep anyway. Okay, goodnight, Shane.” He lifted the sleeping bag and began to prepare it.
“Ahem. Thank you for helping us, Shane,” said Eva directly at her brother, scolding his rudeness.
Shane accepted the gratitude then went inside. By then, Ethan had their ‘bed’ ready and was already climbing under the cover.
“Tired, huh?” asked Eva. She started to take off her clothes as she added, “I’m not very tired, yet.”
When she climbed into the bag, Ethan couldn’t see, but felt a lot of skin instead of fabric. She was completely naked. “Since when do you sleep like that?” he had to ask her.
“I always do, when it’s not too cold.”
“No, you haven’t.”
“Ethan, the only times we have to sleep in the same spot, it’s outside, where it’s cold. At Pops’ place, we can spread out and sleep in different spots, and it’s warm, and every time it’s warm, I sleep naked. Clothes feel so… like I’m suffocating, you know? They get in the way.”
“You always act like you hate wearing clothes.”
“That’s because I do, so get used to it already.”
“No. It’s gross… And really weird.”
“According to who? People only say that because nobody feels safe in their own skin. Er, I mean com.. comter….Comfortable. Nobody feels comfortable in their own skin. It’s like … staying in your house all the time and never leaving. It just feels all … constricting, if that’s the right word.”
“Still, Eva, it’s gross.”
“Try it, Ethan. Get out of the house and breathe once in a while.”
“Clothes aren’t houses.”
Eva smacked him. “God! You know what I mean!”
Ethan pushed himself out of the sleeping bag abruptly. “Fine,” he said at a normal volume. Just to make her shut up, he shoved down his pants and underwear, and virtually ripped off his shirt. After climbing back in, he said, “We better wake up extra early so we have time to put our clothes back on.” He laid in silence for a while. When the feeling didn’t improve, he said, “You know, it seems like you would stop doing this after what Bryan did.”
“You say that all the time, Ethan.”
“Only because it’s true.”
“I have no reason to be afraid of you, Ethan. We were made in Mom at the same time; we’re as close as people can get.”
He couldn’t argue with her logic, though it somehow felt incorrect. “At least you trust me. I’m glad you do; that means a lot to me.”
Eva was silent for a moment. “To be totally honest, I think I’m just used to grown-ups doing things like that.”
Despite not being able to see her face in that dark, Ethan turned to look at her. “What?”
“It’s just the way they are. Men, I mean. I’m used to them wanting to do things like that.”
“What do you mean? Bryan and his friend are the only people that ever..”
“No, they’re not… Pops touched me a couple times.”
A surge of heat coursed throughout Ethan’s body, from chest to feet. The shock left him nearly speechless. “He did? Why didn’t you tell me?” His voice was so shot, it was nearly inaudible.
“Like I said, I’m used to it. And, I didn’t want to bother you.”
Ethan sat up a little. “You just let him do that to you? You didn’t even fight back?”
“He’s been taking care of us. I don’t like it. I’d rather do things like that with someone I love, you know? But if that’s what it takes for him to take care of us, then I should let him.”
“WHAT! No!” He pushed himself out of the sleeping bag, then folded up, burying his head under his arms.
“Shh! Keep your voice down,” Eva said. Ethan punched the ground, over and over. “Shane’s dad is going to hear us, and you’re gonna get us kicked out.
He finally stopped, but continued to silently sit there. Only when the cold began to seep into his skin did he return to their bed. After climbing back inside, his mind went to dark, dangerous, and disgusting places that made him shake with fear.
His sister was still being hurt, and he hadn’t known, even though they had never spent time apart the last four months. They were in the same apartment – maybe the same room – as it occurred. Did it happen when I was asleep? Tears swelled up his eyes as he wrapped his arms around his sister. “I’m sorry,” he whispered, his tears soaking her face.
“Sorry? You didn’t do anything wrong.”
“I didn’t protect you. I didn’t know Pops was ev
il.”
“He’s not evil, he just has a problem. Everyone has problems.”
“No, he’s evil. It’s not a disease, it’s a choice. He chooses to touch you in disgusting ways. He’s evil. And I haven’t protected you this whole time. I’m so sorry.”
For the whole rest of the night, Ethan held his sister, falling asleep with her in his arms, forgetting the fact they weren’t clothed.
At 5:00 the next morning, Eva’s watch alarmed. Ethan silenced it. He repeatedly told her they have to go, until she finally woke. Within a few minutes, Eva opened her eyes, and they both got up, dressed, and then departed.
Without consulting Eva, once they reached the sidewalk, Ethan started walking his own path, hastily.
“Wait, bro. I’m still kinda tired. You’re walking too fast.”
“Not fast enough,” he mumbled.
No attempt at subterfuge, no stopping to ponder his intent. He was headed directly for the one other place he considered a home for months.
Ethan knocked loudly. Eva was still a few steps behind. In less than a minute, Pops opened the door. He was still in his pajamas. If the man had said some kind of greeting, Ethan didn’t know. His emotions clouded all his senses, and his judgment. Next he knew, Pops was bruised, bleeding, and struggling. Ethan saw damage on his own skin too, down to the bone, but didn’t feel it. Eva was shouting at him to stop, but he heard nothing. By the time Ethan realized his present state of mind, he saw his good work. He was sitting on Pops’ belly, his knuckles bleeding, and the man’s face was disfigured from swelling and various fluids.
“Ethan, what did you do?” screamed Eva. “Go, come on! We gotta go!” She grabbed his arm, pulling him with more strength he knew she even possessed. It seemed time skipped several minutes again, because next he knew, he was back in a familiar forest where they had spent many nights – the place they had first met Pops. “Ethan, why did you do that?” Eva punched his shoulder and arm multiple times.
“What did I do?” asked Ethan. Somehow, he felt exceedingly hot and sweaty.
“Are you blind now, too? You almost killed him! He’s protected us! He’s been nice to us! Nobody else helped us!”
Then, he remembered… He remembered every second of it. “I almost killed him…” like Eva had said.
“Now what are you going to do? Kill Shane? We needed Pops. You know what he’s going to do now? He’s gonna turn us in. Maybe even try to kill us. And guess what? He knows about Shane. He knows about everything. There’s nowhere to go.”
Ethan glared at his sister. “He touched you, Eva. He touched you! Why are you defending him?”
“I just said: we needed him! He gave us food and –”
“HE HURT YOU, EVA! SHUT UP! JUST SHUT UP! He got what he deserved, and you know it. Now, he won’t hurt you… EVER again!”
“I’m fine, Ethan. He didn’t hurt me that bad. He gave us what we needed. It wasn’t so bad.”
That heat surged throughout his body again. “WASN’T SO BAD?” he screamed.
Once again, the following several minutes were a blur to him.
When it was over, he was trembling…
“Eva? Oh god…. Eva!” His precious sister’s nose was bleeding, her eyes bruised, and every inch of her arms and face was scraped and torn. “Eva, say something! Oh Jesus…”
She was coughing and gagging. “Eck… Ethan…” she faintly said, touching his hand.
–––––––
He had fallen asleep in the chair beside Eva’s bed, holding her hand, when he heard someone’s voice and woke. Ethan leaned up over the bed, curling himself next to his sister. Someone had leaned in to the room and told the doctor to leave the room immediately. Had Ethan been attentive, it would have seemed odd to him. A few minutes later, the door opened a second time, only this time, a red-haired woman stepped in. Ethan caught a glimpse of an older man with a familiar face waiting outside as the woman gently closed the door. She looked very familiar as well. Somehow, the sight of her induced anger.
“What did you do, Ethan?” the woman asked.
“Who are you?” asked Ethan in return.
“Phoebe Krohn. How did this happen?”
Ethan swiftly became irritated. “I don’t care about your name. When I asked who you are, I meant ‘why are you talking to me?’”
“My people have been watching you for months, making sure you don’t die, and that the wrong people don’t find you. Ten-year-olds can’t survive alone like you tried.”
“What?” The voice was Eva’s. Her swollen eyes opened, finding the woman. Ethan helped her sit up. He half-expected her to reject his assistance. “You’ve been following us?” she asked in a voice that resembled a whimper.
“Watching, Eva. A lot of things out there in the streets can kill you, infection and sickness being the most likely, but I never expected you two to be threats to each other. How did this happen?”
Ethan looked at his sister, wrapping his arms around her, pressing his left cheek against her right. “Don’t tell her anything. Don’t listen. She’s just trying to be something she’s not.”
Phoebe said at once, “What am I trying to be, Ethan?”
He turned, glaring harshly. “Some guardian … person. You were there when Mom died. You probably told my brother to kill her. That’s what you do, isn’t it? You kill people! I’ve heard of you before. Everyone’s heard of you. You’re one of those bosses.”
“Another family was hunting Bryan, not mine. Your mother worked for me a long time ago. Your brother did, too. I didn’t know how unstable he was.” She looked at the twins endearingly. “I’m not your enemy. I’ve always tried to be part of your life. If your mother was here, she could tell you: I’ve been a friend since you were born.”
“Yeah, well, Mom’s not here, so just go away.”
“Ethan!” screeched Eva. She mouthed, “Shut up.”
Phoebe chuckled. “Should I bring back the police? They’re right outside waiting to bring you in.”
“They take orders from you?” asked Eva. Ethan was silent, at her behest.
“Some do, but not most.” She seemed to study them for a moment. “You’re stronger than most kids. Both of you. Stronger and smarter. Good, too. Most kids lose their minds after going through what you’ve been through.”
“Is our pain interesting to you?”
“No, Ethan, but it seems you’re making a game out of your suffering.”
“SHUT UP! GET OUT!”
Eva shoved her brother so hard, he nearly fell off the bed. “Calm the fuck down! Don’t be stupid. She’s not evil, Ethan.”
Again, Ethan was silent as per his instruction. Phoebe continued, “Both of you have chosen not to trust anyone. You’ve tried to live within society while being separate from it. You’ve made this a game. A game you’ll inevitably lose. When bad things happen, you can’t undo them, you can only learn and grow stronger from them. Your emotional outbursts, Ethan, are something you’ll have to overcome before you grow up. Running away, letting the pain control you… that’s weak. You have to be strong.”
Ethan shook with rage. “What’s the point? Our mom was killed by our own brother.”
“Don’t talk like you’ve lost everything, Ethan. You still have your sister. One day you’ll have a family. Your own family. Do you want to just roll over and die? Or, do you want to be better than people like Bryan?”
He couldn’t think of anything to say.
“Mary made me godmother to both of you. Maybe she never told you that. When your mom was first starting off, she consulted me for money. She was pregnant with twins whose father was … technically there, but had no interest in helping her raise or protect them. She was desperate. Your mother and I became good friends.”
Eva leaned forward, holding Ethan’s hand tighter. Her focus was like she was in no pain at all. “Will you keep helping us?”
Phoebe looked at Ethan. “Only if you permit me.”
“It’s because of you that Mom�
��s dead!” growled Ethan.
“No, it’s because of your brother, and your brother alone. I didn’t know what he was capable of any better than you did. I could have stopped him, but so could have the police, or the president, or Bryan’s own estranged friends. Ethan, bad things happen sometimes, and all you can do about it is grow stronger. Running away from the world, refusing to trust anyone ever again… Those are things only people that have given up do. That’s what I’m here for. That’s what I want to do. You’re both good kids. You deserve to have a loving family, and to live life to the fullest.”
“You’re not our mother.”
“No, but I swore to your mother, before you were even born, that I would protect her family.”
Eva sounded like she was about to cry as she asked, “What do you mean? Are you going to find Bryan and kill him?”
“What I’m saying is, I’m your godmother. It’s in your mother’s will that I would take care of you if anything happened to her. If you refuse, I’ll leave you alone, and leave you with the state.”
“No,” said both twins at once.
Eva asked, “Will you adopt us? I don’t want to be with strangers that never even knew my mom.”
Me too, thought Ethan. He would never admit that aloud.
“Good. I’ll take care of you both. I promise. Already raised two kids. What’s two more?”
If Eva trusted this woman at least enough to want her to adopt them, then that was sufficient for him. In his heart, he felt no room to love anyone but his sister, so he hoped, deep down, that Phoebe nor any of her family would ever try to buy his love. That was never going to happen.
Since Phoebe seemed to know a lot about them, so he asked, “Why did Bryan kill Mom?”
For a moment, Phoebe said nothing, keeping the room in unnerving silence. “Your half-brother,” she emphasized, “is a lunatic, to put it lightly. He … touches children. His friend Jack, too. Only, Jack didn’t know about this until the night that Bryan was ratted out by Carrie’s son.”
“Who’s Carrie?” asked Ethan.
“A boss, like me. Carrie Marsden. Bryan had touched her son at his birthday party in the bathroom. Only a lunatic would think he could get away with that. Carrie marked him.”
Resurrection Page 16