Knight_A Steel Paragons MC Novel

by Eve R. Hart

  My head turned as I took in the surrounding buildings. I had no idea. I wasn’t familiar with anything and this was my first time being in the downtown area, which as Tara had informed me, was where all the good places were. I wasn’t sure about good, but there wasn’t lack of choices, that was for sure. I took in the lines outside of each place.

  “Maybe let’s just walk a bit and see if we stumble onto something that looks good,” I suggested.

  I linked arms with her and picked a direction to head in. We made our way down the block, doing our best to avoid the hoards of people. Thumping bass drifted out of a set of open doors and as we got closer, I took in the people standing outside.

  “Here,” I said unexpectedly as I made a quick left. She stumbled a bit but seemed to regain herself quickly. After handing the pretty sexy looking bouncer our IDs, we stepped into the darkened space.

  Red and black decorated the walls. Along the left wall, there were a few round booths that seemed to hold a great deal of privacy. We made our way up to the bar and waited for one of the bartenders to notice us.

  “Do you want to talk about it?” Tara asked after I downed a shot and signaled for another.

  “About what?” I said giving her a blank look. I wasn’t trying to be a bitch but I didn’t want to talk or even think about Knight.

  “Come on, Gwen,” she said with a small eye roll. “We are friends, right?”

  I gave her a nod and then downed the next shot.

  “Friends talk to one another. You can vent, rant, or cry and I won’t judge, okay?”

  Her tone sounded so friendly and my chest suddenly felt heavy. She was right. I thought back to Stacy and how I talked to her about everything. Well, I used to. Time and distance seemed to put a wedge between us and we didn’t talk nearly as much as I wished. But that was life, right? And who was to say that I couldn’t have a new friend that I could share my secrets with. Someone new to lean on and do the same for them in return.

  “There’s obviously history there,” she said as I ordered a rum and coke. I snorted out a laugh.

  “A lifetime of it,” I blurted out and my head started to feel swimmy. I wasn’t a big drinker and I couldn’t remember if I’d eaten after breakfast. Those shots were hitting me fast but I wasn’t going to let that slow me down any and I took a long pull of my drink. “We grew up together. He was, for lack of a better term, my soul mate. Not in like a romantic way, ya know, because we were kids and all. He was there with me through everything.”

  Every little thing and all the big. I didn’t want to go into detail but the memories were there in the forefront of my mind.

  “He was there for everything, until one day, he wasn’t.” I did my best to shrug off the hurt that cut me as deep as it had all those years ago. “I haven’t seen him in over seven years. He left for college and then I did four years later. I wasn’t even aware that he…”

  I bit my tongue. I didn’t want to talk too much about the club and that whole world. I was sure she had some idea but I didn’t want to seem like it was an open topic for discussion.

  “So, how does that lead to you living with him then?” she asked as she flipped her hair over her shoulder.

  “My dad. It was all my dad. I had no idea I was moving in with Knight until I got down here and by the shock Knight had to the whole thing, I’m pretty sure he didn’t even know I was here let alone going to be living with him either. But Knight looks up to and respects my dad, so it wasn’t like he would have told my dad no. It’s just one big fucking mess.”

  That was an understatement. A giggle bubbled out of my chest at the ridiculousness of it all. This was my life and it seemed to have turned into one big universal fuck you joke.

  “By the way you’re going tonight, I can tell that he hurt you,” she said with a pointed look. “Why do you put up with it?”

  I raised a questioning brow at her. I wasn’t one to put up with any kind of shit and really, I hadn’t thought of it like that before. When it came to Knight and me, the only way I could describe it was that was just us. It was the way we were. I tried not to see the problems we’d had or the friendship that had been lost. Maybe I’d spent too many years chasing the good memories. Living in the past. But now that Tara had put those words out there I couldn’t turn a blind eye anymore.

  “I’m just saying, you are so much better than that. You shouldn’t have to put up with someone treating you like that, you know?”

  And I did. Had it been anyone else and I would have put my foot down a long time ago and walked the fuck away. I didn’t need or deserve that at all. I wasn’t weak. I wasn’t a desperate girl who needed attention no matter what form it came in. I had a backbone of steel and a roar so fucking loud it could drown out a crowded room.

  The music thumped in my ears and I felt the need to move.

  “You are so right,” I said as I finished off the last sip of my drink and slammed the glass down on the table. “We’ve wasted enough of this great night on that dick. Let’s dance.”

  I grabbed her hand and dragged her in the direction of the dance floor before she could even open her mouth to protest. We danced and laughed as one song turned into another and another. Sweat dripped down my chest and back but it felt so freeing.

  When two guys joined our little dance party, I didn’t hesitate or push them away. Tara seemed a little shocked into deer in headlights at first but one of the guys whispered something into her ear and she seemed to relax a bit. It was great to see her having a good time. The guy behind me had no face—no name—and I wanted to keep it that way. Luckily, he seemed content to do the same.

  “We’re going to go get another drink. You want?” Tara yelled over the music into my ear a while later. I opened my eyes and gave her a thankful nod. “Be back.”

  I watched as the guy she had been dancing with took her hand and led her off the dance floor. My body kept swaying and I became aware of how close all the bodies were around me. There wasn’t an inch of space for anyone to move. I wondered how long I’d been out there but I didn’t really care. My body was hot, my heart was racing, and it felt amazing.

  “You’re so sexy,” mystery guy whispered into my ear.

  Then I felt his wet tongue lick up my neck. The only thing I was thinking was how gross it was that he had licked a bunch of my sweat. I wanted to be mad but I couldn’t. I knew I’d given him no indication that I wasn’t into this. But as much as I wanted to get into it, something was holding me back. And it seemed that yet again Knight had made his way into my head and soured my mood.

  “I think I need a break,” I said fanning myself dramatically to prove my point. The guy’s dark eyes penetrated mine and he gave me a nod as if he knew that I wasn’t feeling it. I thanked my lucky stars that I wasn’t going to have any issue with him.

  “Have a good night,” he said in a gentle tone and for a second I thought how sweet it was. But as he turned and scanned for his next target, I could help but to shake my head, laugh, and walk away.

  I found Tara and she handed me some fruity, pink looking drink. Not giving a fuck anymore, I took a big gulp. The rest of the night went by in a haze and even though I knew I should be careful, I couldn’t find it in me to give a single fuck.

  “Don’t worry, I’ll make sure you get home,” Tara whispered and that was the last thing I remembered.

  CHAPTER FIFTEEN

  Knight

  Fuck this night.

  I shouldn’t have let her walk out the damn door. But I was too stunned by what she’d said to me to even move.

  I was the biggest asshole on the planet, and even as I said those things, I knew it. Yet again, I’d hurt her. Only this time, she let go. She lashed out. She no longer held back what she felt and what she thought.

  The thing was, I couldn’t blame her. If only I could explain everything to her. Then again, what good would it really do? I wouldn’t only open old wounds, I’d make them deeper. Wounds that I was starting to wonder had even closed.
By the things she’d yelled at me tonight, I would have said definitely the fuck not. I was lost. I had no idea how to fix this or where to go from here.

  Mouse had forcefully convinced me to stay put. He had reminded me that I was the last person that she wanted to be around right then. Even he seemed a little pissed at me. I could tell that in the tone he took with me and the disappointed scowl he held on his face the rest of the time he was there. I was glad when an hour later, he took his shit mood somewhere else. But he didn’t leave without pointedly telling me to keep my ass in that apartment.

  I paced the damn living room, fuming the entire time. Hours passed and I couldn’t stop my brain from spinning out of control. Something could have happened to her and I wasn’t there to stop it. To help her. To save her.

  Mouse’s words rang out in my head and I realized that he was right. I hadn’t been there for years and she was capable of taking care of herself. As much as I wanted to believe that, and maybe knew it, my skin was crawling at the fact that I wasn’t there watching. She was out, at night, in a club or bar that I was sure was filled with assholes that no doubt wanted to get into her pants. Or dress rather.

  That fucking dress. I wouldn’t deny that it stopped my heart and made my dick hard at the same time. As much as I wanted the image of her in that dress dancing around in my head, it was not the fucking time.

  The thought of someone else touching her made me shake with rage. I knew it was bullshit, I had no claim on her no matter how much I wanted to. But once my head went down that road there was no calming me down. No stopping the crazy train from heading to jealous town. I knew it was fucked up—I was fucked up. The whole fucking situation was fucked up.

  How the hell am I going to survive this?

  How am I going to survive Gwen?

  She was a force to be reckoned with. All these years I hadn’t really been living. I’d felt like some part of me was missing and there was this deep sadness embedded in my soul. I’d spent years trying to shake it. Trying to run from it. Trying to trick myself into thinking I could forget it.

  “Fuck!” I growled out to an empty room as my hand raked angrily through my hair.

  The sound of the door being unlocked caught my attention. I resisted the urge to run to the door and open it. I may have had a few things I needed to say to her, but I realized that it was probably not the time. The door opened wide, the bang of it hitting the wall echoed in the silent apartment. I looked up and my eyes locked with a struggling Tara as she and Sketch tried to get a seemingly very drunk Gwen into the apartment.

  “What the hell?” I roared as I rushed over to them. “The fuck happened?” I attempted to take over but Tara wasn’t having it.

  “I got it, alright.” Her tone was tight and if I wasn’t mistaken, her anger was aimed at me. “Just move out of the way.”

  Shocked into silence, I did what she said. I hated not being able to help and the fear that they’d drop Gwen had my stomach in knots, but I wasn’t about to step in the way if it was going to cause more problems. So I watched from a distance as Sketch took the majority of the weight and all but dragged Gwen down the hall and into her room. I wanted to know what happened but I was going to wait until they came back out.

  I shuffled into the kitchen feeling awkward at what to do. I filled up a glass of cold water and found a bottle of aspirin. Not wanting to get my dick snapped off, I set it on the counter and waited.

  “Yo,” Sketch said a few minutes later as he came into the kitchen. I lifted my head and gave him a death glare. What the hell was he doing with them? Had he been with them all night? And if so, why the hell did he let Gwen get so wasted?

  I wasn’t sure which answer would set me more over the edge. On the one hand, if he was there, at least he could have kept an eye on her and stepped in if anyone had tried to hurt her. But then again if he wasn’t that was even worse because Gwen would have had no one to watch her back. I promised her dad that I wouldn’t let anything happen to her and right then, I wasn’t sure if I’d cracked that promise a little. I sure felt like I had. I knew what she was off to do and I didn’t follow her. I didn’t keep an eye on things to make sure something like this, or worse, happened. I was a fucking mess.

  “Please tell me that she’s okay. That nothing happened.” I could hear the desperation and hopelessness in my voice but right then I didn’t fucking care if it showed.

  “I don’t know, man.” He blew out a breath and scratched the back of his neck. “I had just closed up the shop. Was later than normal because this hot chick came in at the last minute and wanted something done…”

  I shot him a look warning him to get the fuck on with it already.

  “So she told me she was going to meet up with some friends and invited me to come. I walked in the place and saw those two. Gwen couldn’t even hold her head up, so I suggested that we get her home.”

  “That’s it?” I asked feeling like there was something he was keeping back. He took a step closer to me.

  “I don’t know...she wasn’t even coherent when I got there,” he said and made sure to keep his voice low. “And I got the feeling like Tara wasn’t really ready to go. She tried to tell me that Gwen was fine.”

  I eyed him as I processed what he was trying to say.

  “I’ve seen drunk chicks, Knight. I’ve seen a lot of them.” He paused and I did my best to hold back the eye roll. “Either she drank half the liquor that they had in that bar or…”

  He didn’t have to say it. The thought of some asshole drugging her made my blood boil and the fact that I wasn’t there to stop it seized my heart. Something could have happened to her. Something really fucking bad and I wasn’t man enough to brush off the words she’d said to me earlier and do the right thing. I should have fucking been there.

  “I don’t know, I could be wrong. I mean, I probably am. She just seemed really out of it.”

  “Did you ask Tara about it?”

  “Yeah, she said that Gwen was hella pissed off and started downing drinks the moment they walked into the place. I asked her if she had been around any guys or if anyone had bought her a drink. Tara said that Gwen was dancing with some guy for a long time. She said she left Gwen on the dance floor but it was only for like five minutes.”

  His eyes were on me with a strange intensity. Something I couldn’t read but wanted to understand. However, I knew he wasn’t going to go into whatever it was right then. I had a huge idea that it didn’t have anything to do with Gwen and that maybe his past demons were somehow edging in on this situation.

  “Is Tara in there now?” I asked because I didn’t want Gwen to be alone. Hell, if she was drunk then she could puke and not even realize it. I didn’t want to imagine what else but I also couldn’t turn a blind eye.

  “Yeah.” He pulled out his phone, looked at it for a brief second, then tucked it back away in his pocket. “She kept saying to Gwen that she was going to take care of her, so I don’t think she’ll be leaving anytime soon.”

  He gave a half-shrug then went to the fridge. He pulled out two beers and handed me one. Maybe it wasn’t the best time to be drinking but all I could think was ‘fuck it.’ Tara was watching over Gwen and I knew she wouldn’t let anything happen to her. I needed something to take the edge off of this fucking night.

  We stood there in silence for a long while. I heard footsteps coming down the hall and when I looked up, Tara was standing in the doorway. She was still wearing the same dress she had on when they had left, but the shoes were gone.

  “I gotta piss,” Sketch said abruptly and made his way out of the room.

  “She alright?” I asked tentatively.

  Tara’s eyes cut over to mine and I wasn’t sure what to do with that the angry fire burning in her gaze.

  “She’s like this because of you,” she bit out. I stood up straighter and crossed my arms over my chest. “You’ve got her sitting in this in between and you think being friends is the solution to whatever the hell is going on bet
ween you two, but it’s not. You just need to let her go. As long as you are around, she’s going to want to do her best to be close to you and all it will do is continue to ruin her on the inside.”

  Her words hit me hard. I thought that I was doing the best given the situation. Now that Gwen had come back into my life, I couldn’t imagine life without her. No, that was a fucking lie. There wasn’t a day that went by while we were apart that I didn’t feel lost and I knew it was because she wasn’t there. I had tried my best to keep Gwen at arm’s length, but it was her idea to try the friends thing. She was the one that had pushed through my armor.

  “I don’t think that is true,” I said trying to stand my ground. Tara didn’t know us. She had no idea how much we meant to each other.

  “Then you’re an even bigger asshole than I had originally thought.” She cocked her head and pinned me with a blank stare. With a blink, she turned, snatched up the glass of water and bottle of aspirin, then walked away.

  Something about that whole exchange made me feel uneasy. When I’d first met Tara she seemed shy and reserved. However, her words right then were anything but. I realized that she and Gwen had gotten pretty close and so I shrugged it off as Tara being a good friend. A little overprotective, but still, she appeared to have Gwen’s best interests in mind.

  “You good?” Sketch said.

  “Yeah,” I grunted out.

  “Want me to take the couch?” It came out as a question that wasn’t intended to receive an answer.

  I gave him a nod. He was a good guy and he wasn’t going to leave knowing that there was something strange going on. It wasn’t like I could go in there and demand answers even if that was all I wanted to do. And I knew if I hovered, I’d be tossed out on my ass by Tara. She had made that perfectly clear.

  “Thanks. I’ll be in my room.”

  I knew I wasn’t going to get any sleep and the longer the minutes ticked on, the more my muscles started to ache from being so tense. I finally gave up when the color of my walls started to glow with a golden hue. I knew the new day wouldn’t hold a fresh start, the tension of last nights events wouldn’t be erased, and the shitty feeling that had a hold of my heart would only clench tighter the moment I opened my door.