by Eve R. Hart
“Hey?” I said to the guy who had made my coffee, whose name I still didn’t know. Guessed it was time to change that. He looked up from the table he was wiping down just a few over from where I was.
“Yeah? You need something else?”
“No. I just saw the sign. What are you hiring for?”
He left his rag and made his way over to me.
“Oh, barista. It’s not many hours, but we are flexible here with schedules. I take it you’re in college?” He pointed to the mess of notes and books I had spread out on the table in front of me.
“Yes,” I said putting my pen down. “I’m Gwen, by the way,” I said as I held my hand out to him.
“Dale,” he said as he shook my hand. “Are you interested in the job?”
“Yeah. Can I get an application, please?”
I knew Dad wasn’t too thrilled with me working at the bar. Though, I wasn’t sure why. It wasn’t like I didn’t have bodyguards pretty much every second I was there. And it wasn’t like I needed his approval, but if I could give him one less thing to stress out about then I would. This would be a better fit for me anyway. I definitely loved coffee more than alcohol, especially after my latest tango with it. Just thinking about that night had my stomach churning.
“Sure. I’ll go grab one.” He darted off and as I turned my attention to the door, Tara walked in.
She was wearing more makeup than she usually did. Her hair was put up in a high ponytail and it seemed like there wasn’t a strand out of place. That wasn’t to say that she normally looked bad.
“Hey,” I said as she walked up and set her books on the small empty corner of the table. “Your makeup looks good.”
“Thanks. I tried to copy what you did the other night but just tone it down a bit.”
“Here you go,” Dale said as he handed me the application.
“Thanks,” I said with a smile and a small nod.
“What’s that?” Tara asked.
“Oh, I saw they were hiring, so I thought maybe…ya know?”
“What about the bar?” she asked as she dug through her purse for something.
“Oh, well, I figured this might be a little better. Might be able to work more shifts too.” I had filled her in on my dad’s work-blocking. She gave a little laugh as she ripped her card out of her purse and held it up victoriously.
“Makes total sense. Okay, I need caffeine, like right now. You good?”
“Yep,” I answered.
She made her way over to place her order and I turned my attention back to my notes.
For the next two hours we studied silently side by side. A few times we took a break to chat, but for the most part, we were both in the zone. Which was something I greatly appreciated. There was a time for fun and a time to buckle down and get things done. Tara always seemed to be on the same wavelength as me.
I took a few minutes to fill out the application before we packed up. I handed it to Dale on the way out and he told me I would get a call to set up an interview. After I thanked him, I met Tara out front.
“Did you walk?” she asked as she dug her keys out of her purse.
“Yeah.”
“Want a ride back? I gotta head that way anyway.”
“Well, if you’re going that way then I sure as heck won’t say no.” We laughed as we made our way to her car parked on the side of the street just a little ways up the block.
“So that guy at the coffee shop seems nice,” she said out of nowhere as she jerked the wheel and pulled out into the street.
“Yeah. He smiles a lot, which I think is nice.”
“He’s cute. And his smile is nice. Total opposite of Knight, too.”
I thought about her words. I guessed I could see what she was talking about. But when Knight did smile, it lit up the room and warmed my whole body. Then again, it wasn’t like he smiled much now. I missed his smile and the rare times he had let himself relax around me had been the best moments I’d had in months. I took everything about him in when it did happened. I wanted to hold onto those mental stills for a lifetime.
“You should ask him out,” she said pulling me out of my thoughts.
I laughed and shook my head.
“No. Not a good idea especially if I want to work there. Dating someone you work with has disaster written all over it.” I wasn’t an idiot. Even if I thought I would be able to date now, no matter how cute or nice Dale seemed he would not be an option.
“Well, if you don’t get the job then.”
“Maybe. I’ll just have to see.”
“I’m telling you, Gwen, you need to branch out. Try new things. Forget about Knight and move on. Right?” Her tone was a little sharp. But then again she had seen a little bit of how twisted up I was about the whole Knight thing.
“I guess…”
I looked out the window wishing for an escape out of this conversation. I had a feeling that she wasn’t going to stop even if I seemed like I didn’t want to talk about it. Luckily, the apartment was within breathing distance. I just hoped she wasn’t planning on coming up with me. I wasn’t really in the mood to hang out now.
My phone rang in my pocket. How was that for timing? I sent the skies a grateful thanks as I pulled my phone out.
“Oh,” I said seeing that it was Stacy calling me. “It’s my best friend.”
I looked up at Tara right as the car pulled to a stop. She gave me a tight smile and a sudden chill filled the car causing goosebumps to take over my skin.
“Hey, hold on a second,” I said answering the call before it clicked over to voicemail.
I wasn’t trying to be rude, but I knew how Stacy was and if I didn’t answer it, she would be busy doing something else by the time I called her back. It didn’t matter that it would only be a few minutes from when she called me, that was just how her brain was.
“Thanks for the ride. See you tomorrow?”
“Yeah,” Tara said as I popped my door open. I gave her a friendly wave, but she took off too quickly to notice.
“Hey!” I said so cheerfully loud I was sure everyone in the apartment building could hear. “Oh my God, how are you?”
“Fat and immobile,” she replied and though her comment was negative, her voice betrayed her excitement. I let out a happy giggle.
“You’re not fat. You’re pregnant. How much longer?”
“A little over a month. But I would argue if he came a little early.”
“I still can’t believe you are going to have a baby. How is Mikey?” I asked and I couldn’t seem to wipe the smile off of my face as I made my way into my apartment.
I flopped onto my bed and kicked my shoes off, not caring for the moment that they were in the middle of the walkway.
Mikey and Stacy were, for lack of a better term, destined to be together. They met in high school and it took months of Mikey asking her out over and over again for her to finally give in. From that first date on they were pretty much inseparable. So, it didn’t surprise me at all when only a few months after they got married, she called me up to tell me that she had a bun in the oven.
“Good,” she replied. “Nothing new here. Tell me what’s going on with you. How are things with Knight? God, it’s still weird to me that you two are living together, but not really.”
“It’s…” I struggled for the words that would explain everything. “Sometimes it kills me and sometimes it’s like that whole chunk of time doesn’t exist. Like we are back at the clubhouse, eating ice cream sandwiches and watching whatever we could find on the TV.”
“It’s still hard for you, though, huh?”
“Yeah,” I sighed and tried to keep the tears at bay.
“You still miss the Knight that you knew. Not the one that broke your heart but the one that would give his life to make sure you were happy and safe.”
“Sometimes I get this feeling like he’s holding back. He’s overprotective but from a distance. Ugh. We had it out the other night. It was so bad, Stace.” The
last thing I wanted to do was relive that whole thing but now that I’d opened my big, stupid mouth I knew there was no way she was just going to let me brush it off.
“Did you finally snap?” she asked like she knew me so well. Mainly because she did.
“Yeah. I was going out with a friend I have here, Tara. Well, really, she’s my only friend outside of the club. But anyway. We were dressed up and headed out. I didn’t even know that Knight had returned home at some point while we were getting ready. And, oh God, Mouse was here too. He witnessed the blow-up.”
So for the next ten minutes I relived the whole thing in my head as my mouth pushed out the words. She listened intently like the amazing best friend that she was.
“You were totally right,” she said on a heavy exhale after I was finished. “It is toxic. You guys seem to be trapped in this weird space where you both are just floating there. You can’t move forward because you won’t deal with the past. You guys will never trust one another until you both sit down and tell each other how you truly feel. Once it’s all out there, that’s when you guys can begin to heal and move on, or whatever you decide.”
As much as I hated it, she was right.
“Find your balls, bitch, and take charge. Where is the take-no-shit Gwen that I know?” she said delivering the final blow.
“He hurt me,” I said so low I wondered if the words had actually made it past my throat.
“I know.”
“I hate him.”
“Know that too, girl.”
“I missed him—miss. I miss him.”
“Well, duh,” she said with a short laugh. “Tell me something I don’t know.”
“He’s the same but different. He’s not the same boy but I get little glimpses of that Knight—my Knight—every now and then and it makes me all confused.” This conversation was giving me a headache.
“So, you love the boy he used to be. But the big question is, do you love the man he’s become? Or could you? Do you want to?”
“Yes…” I answered vaguely.
“You’re such a mess, Gwen,” she said with a laugh.
“I know.” The irritation couldn’t be hidden in my voice.
“Is he still hot?”
“Stacy!” I scolded with a squeal. “Yes. Like more so, if you can believe that. Fuck! I’m so in love with all of him and I hate it because I know he doesn’t feel the same. He walked away from me, from us, before I even knew what love really was. And years—fucking years, Stacy—went by and I still couldn’t forget him. I compared every guy, every relationship to him. And where has that gotten me? Huh? Right here, so close to him but unable to touch him. What is wrong with me?”
“Well.” There was a long pause and I knew she was taking her sweet time telling me her brilliant words of wisdom. Words I was sure were only going to make me feel worse. “Put it all out there, take the weird tension away, then see how you feel. Maybe it will give that final push to move on. Close the chapter and all that shit.”
“You’re no help.” Though it made perfect sense.
“Brat,” she said in a tone I knew was joking. “Okay, fine. Sit on it. Stew it. Whatever you are going to do because I know you. I gotta go. It’s mamma’s nap time.”
“Thanks, Stace. Take care of that baby. I can’t wait to meet him.”
“Yeah, me too. Can’t come soon enough. Love you.”
“Love you, too. Call me if you need anything.” And I meant that because I would drop any and everything in a second and fly there if she needed.
“You know I will.”
We ended the call and I rolled over pulling the comforter with me. I felt better and worse about the whole thing.
She was right, I was going to stew and over think the whole thing. I was going to obsess and work myself into knots. Then, once I got the courage to go to Knight and lay it all out there, I was going to chicken out. I saw the whole thing playing out in my head over and over again.
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
Knight
“I thought I was done doing the shit work when I got my patch,” Lake joked as he pushed the hair out of his face.
The sun was beating down on us and the river was especially fragrant today. And not in a good way. The scent was not only overly offensive, it sat heavy in the air around us too. The humidity felt like it was at a thousand percent.
I huffed out a laugh as lifted I up another shovel full of dirt. I straightened, stretching my back as much as I could manage. The day was too hot for this and I agreed with him.
“Prospects are busy today,” I grunted.
It was true. Each and every single one of them were at the hospital today. The charity event was something we did a few times a year. We’d get the prospects to dress up and make rounds in the pediatrics wing. A few patched-in members went along too. More as observers, though they usually ended up joining in handing out the truckload of gifts they brought with them. Not only did it bring a smile to those kids faces, it was also a good way to judge a man’s character. It was important to have compassion as much as it was to be able to beat a man dead.
“This didn’t have to be done today,” Lake said as he dug his shovel into the ground a few feet away.
“You complaining?” I said with a half-cocked smile.
“No. Never.”
“I want to make sure the fence posts are set right. The prospects can do the rest.”
“Got it.” Lake returned to his digging. “Gonna have some excellent hole-diggin’ skills after this. My arms are going to be so buff. Ladies look out.” It was clear from his tone he was all jokes.
“You’re such a dumbass,” I said with a laugh.
“Hey.” I looked up at his call only to see him looking past me. I turned to see a cop car parked just on the other side of the entrance to the shipping container graveyard, as I had started to call it.
“What now,” I grumbled as I speared my shovel into the ground then pulled off my gloves.
Lake did the same, then we made our way over to the car. I wasn’t worried because there wasn’t anything here to find nor were we doing anything wrong. But I knew there had to be some reason for this visit.
The glare from the sun bouncing off of the front windshield kept me from seeing who was behind the wheel. As we got closer, the door popped open and the figure uncurled his body as he stood.
“O’Shay,” I said, a tiny sigh of relief went through me.
“Paragon,” The cop replied back in a very gruff, cop-like voice.
An Irish cop. How cliché, right? But it held a purpose, that was for sure. And I wasn’t about to say anything about it because it meant he was more than likely to be on our side versus the law’s.
“What brings you to this side of nowhere?” I asked as I wiped my sweaty hand on my jeans then shook his outstretched hand.
“Station got a call about some possible ‘hooligans’ running around,” he said with a head jerk in the direction of the only house around for miles.
That house happened to be right across the road and looked like it was a heavy gust away from falling over. I had no idea that anyone lived there. But sure enough, as my eyes sought out some sort of life, I saw movement behind the cracked open door. The door was only open a sliver, enough for whoever was there to peek out with one eye. I was too far away to make out anything about them.
“Heard the call come in and decided it would be a good idea if I took it.”
Connor O’Shay was part of the Irish mob. He was American born and raised but every now and then his words would get a lilt to them. I hadn’t been around him that much, but I also knew he would say words like ‘shite’ and ‘ye’re’ every so often.
“We gonna have a problem with this?” I asked as I slowly moved my eyes back to Connor.
“No. Old man Watkins is harmless. I think he’s just lonely. Doesn’t have any family left and all he does is stay in that house all day.”
I looked over at Lake who seemed lost in thought as he stare
d at the old man’s house. His brows were furrowed like he was trying to work something out in his head.
“Be right back,” he said as he moved past us.
“You’re not going to hurt him are you?” Connor asked, his tone almost sounding amused.
Lake turned his head and looked at the cop like he was crazy.
“No.” He gave a short shake of his head like the question was ludicrous. “Just want to have a talk. A nice one.” He stressed the word to make sure his point got across.
I knew he wasn’t going over there to make trouble, but I had no idea why he felt so compelled to even do something. I shrugged it off and turned my attention back to Connor as Lake half-jogged in the direction of the house.
“Things good?” I asked with a raised brow.
Connor pulled his sunglasses off and hung them on the front of his uniform. He did a slow look around, scoping out the area.
“For us? Yeah. But the streets seem a little uneasy lately.” I could hear the slight strain in his voice. I could tell that I wasn’t going to get more than that out of him so I let it slide.
From what he was saying the club was all well and good. That was enough for me right then. Either the other shit would work itself out or it wouldn’t. Maybe that was a shitty attitude to have, but that was how it went with us. And it wasn’t like we wouldn’t step up if it seemed like we needed to.
The club had rocked the boat when we set up here. There was no way around it. But we had tried our best to smooth things over and form alliances instead of enemies. That didn’t mean we hadn’t thrown the balance and dynamics off. We just weren’t completely sure how much yet. Only time would tell.
“You got problems here?” he asked as he jerked his chin to the area where Lake and I’d spent the better part of the day setting up fence posts.
“Caught someone walkin’ around here the other night. My guess was a street kid looking for quiet place to stay.” I may not have been far from the truth but I didn’t know for sure. I didn’t want to lie to him or come off as an asshole with a mind your own kind of attitude. So, I told him the tip of what was going on. “Figured a new fence would keep it from happening again.”