by Stahl, Shey
Clausen must have pulled this move another five times before he tried drafting in behind me. I didn’t have a problem with this because Bobby, who I preferred to draft with, had just pitted and I knew we’d be pitting in just a few more laps. Clausen latched on to my bumper and pushed me around the track but when we made it to turn four, I slowed, he didn’t pick up on Aiden telling his spotter I was pulling off and he bumped. Bump drafting in turns, not a good idea. Not for me at least. This bump sent me flying into the inside barrier of the pit road entrance.
“Coming hard into the pit road,” Aiden warned the guys to have them back away from the wall. Sure enough, I slammed hard into the pit wall just as the guys scrambled away.
One good thing, I was already in my pit box now.
“Hey look, you’re in your pit already.” Kyle chuckled despite his frustration.
“Heavy damage to the left side,” Mason said and then began directing orders toward the crew.
I didn’t say anything more. I could have blown up, showing my aggression toward this Clausen kid but I didn’t. I kept my head together and managed to pull through with a top ten finish.
Even after the race when he noticed me walking toward the hauler after the race, I kept my cool. I didn’t say any single word to him other than a head nod.
When Phoenix rolled around in April, I couldn’t say the same thing.
Night races always left everyone fired up, and goddamn was I fired up after that race from both Shelby and Nadia.
I had qualified for the pole, my entire family was there and I wanted to win the race. Having come off a win in Texas the week before, I had a taste of victory.
Clausen was driving like a fucking jerk and making all sorts of spastic moves on his hunt to the front—he had a strong car and was running second with twenty laps to go. Since Daytona, he’d yet to even finish a fucking race so when he came charging to the front, I figured he’d just wreck. He didn’t though, he stayed with me and with ten laps to go, and he challenged me for the lead with Nadia right behind me too.
“Clausen is at your rear...at your door...still there.” Aiden told me. “Henley looking to the inside. Keep your line.”
“Keep your cool bud.” Kyle warned.
He knew me to well.
“Still out there...”
“How many more laps and what are my lap times?” I asked trying to hold my line as Clausen stayed with me through turns two and three and Nadia was contemplating making her move. I just knew she was going to do something stupid.
“Three laps to go. You’re running at a 27 flat—Clausen is a 27.20.”
That made me feel slightly better—but not as confident as I wanted to be.
Three more laps! I chanted to myself.
We stayed side-by-side, bumping and banging, putting on a good show for the fans when Clausen came down hard on me in the last turn. He basically cut me off. I had no choice but to lift. He was leaning on me so hard when I lifted he shot down in front of me and I ended up smashing into the back of him destroying both our cars and Nadia when she smashed into me. Tate, who was running fourth, won.
I was happy to see Tate, who hadn’t won since mid-season last year win, but I was fucking pissed.
And that’s putting it lightly.
I was ready to kill the shady five-foot tall bastard when I got out of the car. Once again, my temper flared in front of hundreds of thousands of fans. I pushed him, he pushed me and before you know it we had an all-out pushing match similar to the ones Darrin and I got into back in the day. Only difference here was this Shelby kid was a lot smaller.
Shelby had a folly understanding of who I really was and he was about to find out.
“What the fuck was that?” I asked not calmly.
“What? I had position on you.” He answered shrugging.
“Position, really?” I shoved him again. He fell back against his car scurrying to find his footing as I stepped forward. “You call one inch position?”
We didn’t get to finish the debate before NASCAR officials were separating us.
I clearly didn’t think about NASCAR and all too soon Kyle gave me the word as I trudged toward my hauler. “They want to see us in the hauler.”
They were calling me to the hauler along with Shelby and his crew chief that’d apparently been having some physical words with Aiden as well.
This was when Nadia Henley got in my face. “What the fuck was that?”
“What?” I spat in disbelief.
Alley, who was standing beside me, pulled on my arm. “Jameson, let’s go.”
I think she knew there was temptation on my part to shove this kid/woman.
That’s when Nadia reached out and grabbed my arm too.
“You think just because you win championships you can do whatever you want on the track, don’t you?”
I laughed bitterly and flung my arms out of their grasps.
“Yeah, well,” I winked at Nadia. “Welcome to the big leagues sweetheart.”
Alley snickered to herself but kept step with me as I headed to the hauler.
“Nice. Two fights in one night.”
“I’m on a roll.”
When I stepped inside the hauler, Kyle and Clausen’s crew chief, Matt, looked up at me. I made sure I slammed the door.
“Do you ever think about what you have at home when you pull shit like that?” Kyle greeted me when I threw myself in the chair next to him.
I wasn’t sure what the fuck he was even referring to. Surely, he didn’t see everything out there—he must have missed the part where Clausen caused the wreck.
“I know exactly what I have at home.” My tone was harsh but hushed given the various people in the hauler. “You act like this isn’t personal to me and I should just treat it like a job. It is personal—this isn’t just a job to me. This is my fucking life, Kyle!”
“I know that.” He shot back just as forcefully. “All I’m saying...is that I do not want to spend this season in this fucking chair!”
We both needed to calm down so I walked away. Kyle was heated because once again, our team had to repair a damaged car. We had to answer to the sponsors, and worst of all, Jimi Riley.
Lisa told Shelby and me both this was our warning. I knew the next time we got tangled together we’d be paying for it but it didn’t stop the anger.
I steered clear of Clausen once we left the NASCAR hauler. I had a feeling if I was alone with the little fucker I’d show him just how pissed I really was about his supposed “position” on me.
The media caught up with me as I left and I wasn’t level-headed.
“Jameson, can you tell us what happened there? Is this rivalry with Shelby Clausen escalating into what happened with Darrin Torres?”
That did it for me. I lost it right then and there. Only problem was, my wife and son were watching.
I turned to the report and stepped forward. “Every goddamn time I get tangled with someone, you guys make it out to be way more than it really is. And every year, it’s the same bullshit! It doesn’t matter what I say to you to defend my actions on the track. They are, and always will be, irrelevant and twisted to your advantage.”
I then proceeded to push his microphone out of my face forcefully to which he dropped it. Now it wasn’t my most graceful moment in the history of sports broadcasting but then again, I’ve said and done worse. My choice of words wasn’t perfect but I was mad. At least I was honest.
Sway caught up with me with Axel close to her side.
“Jameson, calm down.” She whispered softly, her eyes darting to Axel.
We were beside my hauler by now so I ducked inside with them to avoid any more media interactions and to calm myself down.
Axel eyed me carefully before smiling.
“You almost won.” He offered in his adorable timid voice he had when he was trying to calm me.
It took me a moment but I eventually smiled and reached down to pull him into a hug.
“I know little
buddy.”
You have to understand where I was coming from before you think, “Jesus, pull yourself together in front of your kids.”
In my mind, between Darrin, Colin, and now with Shelby and Nadia, it was the same shit every year and it got old real fast. I kept waiting for a year when they would forget. But just like me, they couldn’t.
In that interview when they compared this to a rival they knew I harbored ill feelings for, that pissed me off and hurt. Yeah, it’s been nearly six years since the incident with him but it was still very real to me and still hurt. I was simply expressing my pain. I never wanted all of this, I only wanted to race. But with that, came rivalry with other drivers and that rivalry was fed by the media, like it or not.
You see, in our sport, you’re allowed one angle, one image and like it or not, everything you say and do, on or off the track must fit into that angle.
The following weekend in Talladega, Shelby had apparently learned a lesson about drafting and dealing with me. Never saw him the entire race. That might have been because my car was awesome and it was difficult for anyone to pass me, let alone a rookie who had no clue how to cut through the draft.
For now, Shelby and I agreed to disagree, much like Colin and me. But the difference came when after the Talladega race Shelby stopped by my motor coach to apologize for Phoenix. I thought that was pretty cool considering he was an eighteen-year old kid. Either way, he scored points with me that day.
The thing with Nadia simmered down but she made it known we didn’t exactly get along and tried to paint the picture that I was some sort of biased driver and felt threatened by a female driver.
That couldn’t have been further than the truth than the words spoken by that reporter who said the rival with me and Shelby was just the same as me and Darrin.
Sway and I were adamant that we wouldn’t go more than a few weeks without seeing each other. Physically I got extremely cranky as you can imagine and emotionally, my little spaz family kept me grounded. After Loudon in late June, it had been nearly two weeks since I’d seen Sway. Though Axel had traveled with me much of the time, Sway had stayed home with Arie and Casten.
I stayed in Loudon Sunday night and finished press interviews from the win followed by an appearance in Charlotte Monday morning and then I was on my way home that afternoon.
The sight before me when I got home made miss being here every day.
Sway had all three of the kids outside, spraying them down with water.
“What are you doing?” I asked with a chuckle.
“Mama’s hosing us,” said Arie, her bright emerald green eyes wide with excitement.
“Well that just sounds...weird. Don’t say it like that.” Sway told her.
I chuckled at them and leaned against the sliding glass doorframe.
“No child should ever go through life without showering outside.” Sway said looking back at me. “It’s inconceivable.”
“Why are they red?” They had spots of red and black paint covering their entire bodies.
She shrugged poring soap on Arie’s head. “We painted the movie room, now grab some soap and help me out.”
While laughing at my ridiculous wife, I rolled my sleeves up and got to work washing the boys. Axel thought it was funny when I scrubbed their heads like dogs and Casten soon thought it was funny as well. Anything Axel liked, Casten liked.
After a while and water fight later, I looked around the backyard for Casten and couldn’t find him. Next thing I knew, he was over in one of the flower bed making mud pies. This was entertaining because he didn’t have any water to make them so he used his only resource. Urine.
“Are you serious?” Sway asked when she too realized what he was doing.
I pointed at him and shook my head leaning against the side of the back deck. “What do you think?” she laughed along with me. “I’m not sure whether to be proud of disgusted.”
We eventually got our little mud pie maker in the house and cleaned up and on our way to dinner with Spencer and Alley to celebrate Lexi’s fifth birthday.
I don’t mind the occasional birthday party and acting like a kid again but I did not like Chucky Cheese.
Axel agreed with me.
That’s the thing about my little guy. We agreed on most everything and it was nice, whatever your mental state is, to have company.
On the other hand, eighteen month old Casten was crazy. The kid laughed all the time, had more energy than Emma and never stopped laughing. Did I mention that already?
The kid was constantly bouncing off the rev limiter and was a tornado of destruction with a blinding smile that drew you in and relaxed you at the same time. He was the perfect combination of both Sway and I together but he did remind me more of Sway.
“Is he for real?” Axel nudged my arm while we sat and watched Casten toss the balls from the ball pit at unsuspecting people and then duck and hide in the balls as if no one tossed them. How an eighteen-month old kid could figure out to do this should have been surprising but not for Casten.
I shrugged indifferently.
There were so many people and kids around screaming and having a good time it was hard to actually talk with anyone but I eventually made my way over to Spencer and Aiden held up at a table drinking beer with my dad.
Dad was watching Casten and his ball game before he turned toward me in the booth. I poured myself a beer from the pitcher on the table, thankful they served beer here.
“What’s with the little one?” Dad asked. “Does he ever stop laughing?”
“Not that I’ve seen.”
I took a slow drink of my beer watching Casten closely as he tossed one at Cole, Spencer’s youngest, who walked past. Cole didn’t like being fucked with by anyone so he jumped head first into the balls and roughed the little guy up a little bit, well as much as a three-year old kid could.
“What’s the plan for Axel and Indy next week?” Spencer asked keeping one eye on Lexi and Arie climbing on a rock wall.
“Well, we leave for Daytona tomorrow afternoon. The race is on Saturday so then we leave for Indy on Monday. I need both of his cars ready by then.” Tommy plopped beside me with Casten on his shoulders. Casten immediately crawled onto my lap and looked up at me.
“Bite?” he asked.
He did this any time he wanted a bite or drink of something.
“No monkey, this is daddy’s.” Sway and I called him monkey because he climbed everything.
Casten eventually lost interest in my beer when he noticed there was pizza at the table.
“I’ll have both cars ready by then. The Honda 160 isn’t ready though. We still need to change out the tie rod in it—he broke it last week.”
“Doesn’t matter,” I told him with a shrug as Axel sat down with us. He looked completely bored. “USAC won’t allow him to race it in a sanctioned race until he turns eight.”
“All right,” Tommy nodded while Axel frowned. “I have both 120 cars ready.”
Spencer laughed. “Did you know they moved him from the Red to the Blue Honda 120/Animal class?”
“When did that happen?” I knew the USAC rules these days just as good as I knew NASCAR or the Outlaw rules being the owner of yet another team. “You have to run three events before they move you up.” Trying to calculate the races he’d run this year as my brow furrowed as I looked over at Axel. “I thought you missed a few?”
“I did. I missed the Mason Dixon Shootout and the Milwaukee Mile.” He counted on his fingers. “I ran Dual in the Desert, Western District Qualifier, Midwest District Qualifier and the High Desert Classic. That’s four.” He held his tiny hand in my face displaying four fingers to me.
“Oh yeah,” I nodded ruffling his hair. He smiled up at me. “I forgot about the High Desert Classic.”
It’s not that I meant to forget about it either but April was a busy month for me between the cup schedule and the outlaws. I never had a chance to make it out there for that one and usually I made it out to at l
east one night of his racing.
USAC quarter midgets usually ran twice a month and the events started on Wednesday and ended on Saturday nights. When my cup schedule allowed, Wes was busy shuttling me back and forth between tracks. No matter what though, Sway or me were there with him.
We decided from the first sanctioned race he ran in Phoenix Arizona last year that we would always be present, at least one of us. My parents were, until I got old enough when Spencer and I could haul the cars around ourselves and I wanted us to be part of his career just like my family was.
“I still need to get him registered for the Dirt Nationals.” I told Tommy as Axel’s eyes lit up. Last year he wasn’t able to run due to his age. He had to be five by August and with his birthday in December; they denied the entry, even with my persuasion.
“I get to race Dirt Nationals?” He was practically bouncing in his seat.
I nodded with a smile of my own and tipped my head Tommy’s direction.
“I can’t be there for the last night but mama and Tommy will be with you.”
Axel seemed to contemplate this for a moment but smiled anyways.
I hated that I’d miss it but this was the life I led, like it or not. It made it easier that Sway was so willing to follow Axel around just as my mom did but I also felt comfortable with having Tommy with him. Usually Tommy was the mechanic for Justin’s sprint car but as Axel started racing, Tommy found himself engrossed in his career.
You couldn’t help but want to help him. He was so curious and determined to learn everything he could about racing, more so on dirt. He never really cared as much about the stock cars I ran and that didn’t bother me at all. I knew he was my kid that way. Sure, I loved racing NASCAR but for myself, dirt was what I loved. Naturally so did my carbon copy.
Lexi’s birthday party finally ended around nine that night when the kids were so amped up on sugar they all fell asleep on the way home.
With a five-year old, a three-year old, and an eighteen-month old...This was ideal for a number of reasons, you guess why.