by Stahl, Shey
So here I was, with my boys. Only problem was my little guy was extremely temperamental tonight.
After hot laps when the USAC official told me Axel needed to cool it or he’d be suspended, I felt the need to talk to him.
When he pulled the car beside me, slammed his helmet against the side of his car and kicked the left rear tire, I intervened.
“What’s with you?”
“Nothing,” He snorted. “Nothing is wrong.”
“Bullshit.”
My little guy was a typical eleven-year old these days, hormonal and aggressive, just like his dad. Laughing I pulled him with me toward the concession stands.
“C’mon buddy, let’s get you a beer or something.”
Axel ended calming down after inhaling about three hotdogs and begging for that beer (which he never received). Sway made it before the feature events began and then ended up having to leave when Arie puked all over her. This left me alone with Axel, Casten and of course Lily—who refused to go anywhere if Axel wasn’t with her.
“Keep an eye on him.” Sway told me as I carried Arie to the car. She had apparently been sick all day but wanted to see Axel race despite. “He seems...like his dad tonight.”
“I know.” I grinned and kissed her and Arie goodbye. “We should be home sometime after midnight I assume.”
When I got back to Axel’s pit, two USAC officials had separated him and Payton, another quarter midget driver.
“What the hell happened?”
Casten laughed. “Axel punched Payton.”
I turned toward Axel, who was sitting next to his race car, nursing a bloody lip. “Why would you do that?”
He shrugged and leaned his head against his arms resting on his knees. “I just...did.”
On the way back home that night I got out of him what I feared would someday happen. He was defending me. “Payton said you didn’t deserve to win all those championships.”
“Don’t pay any mind to Payton.” I told him. I knew it wasn’t Payton Raymond saying that. It was his dad. No twelve-year old knew who deserved a championship and who didn’t.
“It’s not easy, is it?” he asked when we pulled down our long driveway.
“What’s not easy?”
His mirror like green eyes focused on mine. That same determination, that same fire I had flashed through him. “Being the son of a legend,”
“I suppose it isn’t.” I never thought that Axel would feel the same way I did growing up and I wasn’t prepared for that. But there was no way for him to avoid. Now he not only had to face the same pressures I did, but his were amplified by the fact that both his father and grandfather have revolutionized the sport. Here he was, just a kid, trying to step into the shoes. It’s not easy for any driver, let alone the son of two of the greatest racers of our time.
I thought for sure Sway would have freaked out looking at his black eye but no, she just smiled and looked down at him. “How’d that work out for you? Did it go as planned?”
Axel being the smartass he was responded with, “Actually yes. Thanks for asking.”
At some point in everyone’s career you ask yourself if you’re happy. Up until now, I hadn’t had to even question it. I was happy with my career. I was doing what I loved and my family was still a part of that. My boys were tearing it up in the USAC divisions and my sprint car team was a force to be reckoned with.
The question came for me when the off-season rolled around and our eleven-year anniversary came around. Last year for our ten year, we were in New York for the championship ceremonies and though it was nice, New York wasn’t us. Sway and I needed alone time. With the way my schedule was for the off-season, I wasn’t sure where that alone time could come in at because once again the championship week was the same week as our anniversary. Having come in fourth this season, I had certain obligations for the season.
It wasn’t even the day that we were trying to celebrate; we both didn’t mind celebrating another day it was just the fact that there just wasn’t any free time. So this left us with the week after Christmas. The only problem was I was once again scheduled to be in Grand Rapids for my sprint car team. I was working on a few new sponsors and needed to tie up a few loose ends with them.
The morning I left, Sway encouraged me as she always did.
“Good luck.” She said enthusiastically for me. Her face was hidden by the dark curtain of her mahogany hair as she tried to sew a button back on one of Casten’s shirts. “I don’t know why I try. I can’t even thread the goddamn needle.”
Chuckling I leaned down to kiss the side of her neck. “I’m sure my mom can help you. She used to do that sort of thing all the time.”
“Yeah, I’ll ask her. She’s coming over tonight anyway to drop off some new merchandise for you to approve.”
“Right. I forgot about that.”
“Make sure you update that twitter thing too.”
“What?”
“Twitter. Emma set you up with a twitter page.”
I must have had a complete “What the fuck” look because she just continued to stare at me as I stared at her.
“I think it’s something like Facebook only not as personal or something similar. Ask Axel, he has one.” She looked up at me. “But I closely monitor that. I don’t want any creepos following my baby around.”
“He just turned twelve. He’s hardly a baby anymore.” I sighed looking at my phone again. I didn’t like the sounds of this new stalker site. “When did he get this twatter thing?”
“Twitter Jameson and he’s had it for a few years. He has a huge following. It helps with his fans.”
I knew Axel had fans. His pit was constantly surrounded by little girls screaming his name like they were at a boy band concert and the younger USAC drivers wanting to be friends with him. Whereas I was an asshole at his age, Axel was friendly to his fans and loved the attention he got.
“So what do I do with it?”
Sway took my phone and opened the twitter application Emma had apparently installed. “There.” She handed it back to me. Looking down at my phone, I looked at what she wrote.
@JamesonRiley Heading to Grand Rapids with my team
“Why in the world would you write that? Now these assholes are going to stalk me.”
“Like they don’t already...it’s a way for your fans to get a more personal experience.”
“What about my personal experience?”
This just seemed like some invasion of privacy and my wife had something to do with it. Traitor.
Clicking on the profile button, I noticed I had close to a hundred thousand followers. “How did all these people know I had this thing?”
“It was announced on your website. Do you pay attention in any of the meetings we’ve had regarding the public relations side of Simplex Racing or JAR Racing?”
“I do. I just didn’t understand what twatter was. I thought maybe...let’s say I was completely off base.”
Sway smirked and stood up to walk into the kitchen. “It’s twitter, not twatter. You’re going to be late.”
Right, I was supposed to leave. “I should be home in a few days.”
“All right,” she turned and wrapped her arms tightly around my neck. “I’ll miss you.”
I breathed in deeply trying to hold on to her scent, making the few moments of alone time last between us before my lifestyle interrupted it. “I’ll miss you too, honey.”
I said goodbye to the kids after that. They were all out back on the track. Lexi and Arie were the flaggers and the boys were all racing. It took a great deal of effort to get Axel to actually get out of the car but eventually I did and was on my way to Grand Rapids.
That’s when it hit me because I was alone with Tommy. In between the moments where he had nothing to say, I thought of Sway. I was questioning how happy I was with this entire situation.
I was thirty-three years old now. How long would this be okay with me? Or her? Would she really want to have this lifes
tyle forever?
Sway supported me through everything. Even when I wouldn’t have agreed with myself, she supported me.
“Hey Tommy,” Turning toward him he looked over at me.
“What?”
“Would you be able to handle the meeting with QT?”
“Yeah—why?”
“I need to...I want to spend some time with Sway.”
When we landed in Grand Rapids, Tommy went on to the meeting while I flew right back to Mooresville.
Arriving home shortly before ten that night, Sway in the movie room with the kids watching a movie. She nearly pissed her pants when I said hello.
“Holy shit!” she screeched along with the kids.
“You’re home...” the kids were enthusiastic, as was Sway.
“I thought you were in Grand Rapids.” She said moving across the room to stand in front of me.
I chuckled.
“Tommy went for me.” I moved closer, my arms wrapping around her waist. “He told me to tell you that you owe him a box of Krispy Kreme donuts.”
“Oh—well that’s definitely worth seeing you.”
My mom came in the room behind me. “I’m here!”
“What are you doing here?” Sway asked her curiously.
Mom giggled. “I’m watching the kids while you guys get some alone time.”
“We leave for Jacksonville Beach in the morning.” Reaching down I picked her up bridal style. “But for now...” I left my mom with the kids giggling in the movie room as I carried Sway up to our room.
“Thank you.” She whispered against my lips with more urgency than I expected. “I needed this. I shaved my legs, I’m wearing a bra and I look like a fucking lady so take me to dinner.”
“As did I honey and by all means, let’s go to dinner.”
So we went to dinner and I checked out those shaved legs, removed off the bra and took my fucking lady to dinner.
I wasn’t sure I was ready for retirement yet as racing was too important to me. But I was ready for a little relief. Tommy has expressed interest in taking over more responsibility with JAR Racing so that was an option. We had enough help that I could easily step back and just race cup and help out with Axel’s racing. Sometimes you needed to back-out at times; to reevaluate and think about what’s important. For me, that was this family and the woman currently in my arms.
I enjoyed the road and my lifestyle for the most part but there were times, late at night, when I thought maybe where there was loneliness there would adaption. What if I came home one day and it didn’t seem as though my family missed me? What if they learned to deal with my absence and eventually had a life without me?
21. Cold Pits – Jameson
Cold Pits – This term is referred to no racing activity on the track and the pits are open to people other than team members and racing officials.
As the off-season progressed testing and sponsorship commitments crushed me to the point where I was physically exhausted. Having never really been one who caught diseases...well I had one hell of a cold that I was sure had turned into pneumonia by the time early February rolled around.
While hacking up my spleen, I made my way into my office at Grays Harbor. It seemed I still suffered from problems with my lungs and was susceptible to pneumonia.
Mallory found me before I wanted her to. “Jameson, we really need to take care of this.”
Nodding was my only response. Nodding was all I could do these days. I just didn’t have time for any of this. Too much responsibility led to me having too much on my mind.
We had schedules to finalize for the season, get the insurance policies in order and line up track promoters for the events. This may seem simple but it’s not. Track promoters are constantly trying to swing their own deals and sponsors for events want everything under the sun.
For the last nine hours I’d been at the track with Axel and Casten and I was ready to go home. I loved my kids but I could only handle them for so long. I could only handle anyone for so long before my patience wore thin.
Currently Axel and Casten were down on the track watering it with Spencer. The only problem with this situation was that the boys were helping by attaching inner tubes to the back of the truck with a rope.
They were water skiing in mud.
Idiots. I muttered to myself glancing back at the mountain of paperwork. One of them was sure to get hurt with Spencer driving. Pouring myself a glass of whiskey, I had to laugh because there were many times when Sway and I did this as well when we were growing up. Our spaz children weren’t much different.
Sighing deeply, I began looking through everything while sipping my, much needed, drink. It was overwhelming and if Mallory hadn’t been there I probably would have given up by now. I couldn’t thank her, Andrea and Jen enough for all the work they did keeping Grays Harbor running. Even though I couldn’t be there as much as I wanted, I had absolutely no intention of selling.
Shortly before eight that night, Andrea came in the office with Macy following behind her. “Hey Jameson, we are leaving for the night. Sway called and asked that you come home.”
I nodded focusing on a few insurance claims that had been filled last year by a driver racing in the street stock division. He was claiming that we didn’t tell him he had to wear gloves. In turn, his hands were burnt when his car caught on fire. You’d think some of these assholes would have common sense but no, they lacked that at times. Those were the jerks that gave everyone the impression racers were dumb.
On the way home that night after getting the boys cleaned up enough to get inside my car, we stopped by the Ranch House and picked up dinner.
I spent most of the drive home listening to Axel and Casten in the back seat.
“Well damn...I didn’t think of that.”
“No. No. There can’t be a damn in this scenario. Take it back.” Casten told Axel, his voice serious. This was the first alarming part. Casten was never serious.
“Oh yeah, well it’s not that easy, Casten. Might I add...this was your goddamn idea?”
Hearing my twelve-year old and eight-year old cussing was a little alarming to me. But not surprising. By the time Axel was five, we had to “out” the money when cussing or else Axel would be a millionaire now.
“I’m aware of that.” Casten replied with a chuckle.
“I want no part of this then,” was Axel’s response.
Casten laughed. “It’s a little late for that.”
“All right,” I finally interrupted. “What’s going on?”
“Nothing,” they said together.
Axel cracked under pressure when I laid down the law. Always did.
“Someone better tell me.” I warned eyeing them in the rearview mirror. The passing streetlights provided just enough light to catch glimpses of their eyes.
As I expected, Axel cracked after five minutes of silence. He didn’t like to see me upset in fear I’d take his race car away. “Casten,” Axel began when his words were cut off by a grunt. I heard the punch to Axel’s shoulder Casten delivered with Axel whispering “you asshole” to him. “Casten and me,” he corrected. “well...we told Arie to uh...she was tired.”
“And...”
“Well she was tired and we told her to just sleep in the back of Spencer’s truck.”
“So?”
“Well Spencer he’s not exactly going back to Summit Lake tonight.”
I knew that already. Spencer had plans to drive up to Burlington tonight and then he was heading to Canada for the weekend to go skiing with some of his buddies before testing began.
“Wait a second,” by now we had pulled into the garage. I turned to face the boys. “You’re telling me that your sister showed up at the track today, without me knowing. You told her to get in the back of Spencer’s truck to take a nap and then didn’t tell him or me that she was back there when he left.”
“That’s pretty much it.” Casten nodded with wide eyes. Axel just stared at me in horror that I was
going to freak out. And I did. My little girl was in the back of a goddamn truck in the middle of winter, going down the freeway with my crazy reckless driver of a brother.
“You’re both grounded.” I told them slamming the car door. They followed me inside the house with the bags from Ranch House. “And another thing,” they stopped dead in their tracks knowing damn well what was next. “No Duel in the Desert.”
Axel looked as though he was going to cry and Casten could care less. Even though he raced, he just raced because he enjoyed it but he held nowhere near the passion Axel held for it.
“What’s going on?” Sway came bouncing into the kitchen behind us.
Casten hopped onto one of the stools next to the island digging through the bags from Ranch House looking for his dinner. “Dad lost Arie.”
“I did not. You two did.” I pointed to both of them. “I mean it—you’re both grounded and will not race in Phoenix.”
“What do you mean Arie is lost?” Sway began to panic.
Casten, being a complete mama’s boy poured it on thick. “I’m sorry mama.” He hugged her while batting his eyelashes; she was a sucker for that. “But look at it this way...you won’t have to drive her to those stupid dance classes anymore.”
Sway slapped his shoulder. “Don’t be a jerk.” Her panicked eyes found mine. “Where is she Jameson?”
By now, I was already calling Spencer and waiting for him to answer. “Apparently, your boys decided to convince her to take a nap in the back of Spencer’s truck.”
“Okay...so where is Spencer?”
“Burlington. Actually, he’s on his way to Burlington and then Canada.”
It took her about thirty six seconds before she finally grasped the meaning behind this. “Oh my god!”
“Now you finally understand.”
She turned toward the boys. “That was not a very nice thing to do.”