F*ck Perfect (MindF*ck Book 2)

by Danyell Wallace

  He hasn’t been home in days, staying instead at the apartment above his grandfather’s old shop. Whatever he’s dealing with has nothing to do with his parents, and he refuses to talk about it.

  A loud vrooming sound and a heavy door slamming catch my attention.

  “Bryce!”

  I sit up and see Clay approaching my car.

  “Bryce, wake up.” I nudge Bryce awake.

  “Hmm?”

  Clay appears at the door, opening it. “Bryce.”

  He’s frantic.

  Bryce sits up and squints at Clay. “What the fuck, man?”

  “I’ve been all over the place looking for your ass!”

  “Well, you found me.” Bryce ruffles his hand through his hair.

  Clay wrenches the door open wider and reaches inside for Bryce. “Man, you need to go home now.”

  “I’m not going back to that fuckin’ place.”

  “Well, you ain’t got no fuckin’ choice, man. I went by there looking for your ass to find the yard a mess, and when I got out of my truck, I could hear Aunt Julie screaming inside.”

  Bryce scrambles out of the car, wide awake now. “Shit. Ava, I have to—”

  “Go. But please be careful.”

  “I will.” He nods then lowers his head to give me a chaste kiss. “I love you.”

  “I love you too.”

  Chapter 24

  Bryce

  When Clay’s truck pulls up to my house, I see that my stuff is scattered all over the yard.

  Before Clay can even bring his truck to a complete stop, I’m hopping out, leaving the door swinging on its hinges. The front door opens to the house, and my dad wobbles out, holding a beer in his hand. A second later, my mom appears on the top step with a huge, purplish shiner covering her right eye. Shit! Fury boils in my veins at the sight of my mom’s battered face.

  I ball my fist ready to take on my dad. I charge across the yard then skid to a stop.

  “Now, where the hell do you think you’re going?” My dad aims his sharpshooter rifle at me. “I’m here to check on my mom.” I try to steady my voice.

  “Your momma is fine; now get the hell off my property.”

  I look up at my mom to find her shaking like a leaf, then I look around the lawn and see all of my stuff strewn and damaged to a point I can’t recognize it.

  “Uncle Bryce, is the gun really necessary?!” Clay shouts from his truck.

  “Just mind your business, nephew. Your cousin here needs to learn a lesson on respect.”

  “To get respect, you must show it first,” I mumble under my breath before making the stupid decision of charging my dad while his shotgun is pointing at me. We fall to the ground and several shots ring out into the air. My eyes close tight, and I freeze, waiting for the feeling of pain to corrupt my body, only to hear deathly silence. Nothing. I take a chance and open my eyes to see smoke floating out of the barrel of my dad’s gun, and then I hear the wailing sound of Clay yelling out to call 9-1-1.

  I think one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do in my life is to call my sister and leave a voicemail to let her know that our mom is in the hospital because she was accidentally shot with my dad’s rifle. I can still hear my mom’s screams and cries in my head every time I close my eyes as I attempt to get some rest. Ava’s comforting hand rubs gentle circles along my back while I lay my head on her lap. We’ve been in the ER waiting room for almost four hours, and we still haven’t heard anything about Mom’s condition. I sit up and look across from me at Clay, who looks exhausted.

  “You don’t have to stay. Once I hear what’s going on with Mom, I can get Ava to drop me off at your house.”

  “Okay. We’re gonna talk soon—about everything.”

  “We will,” I agree.

  Clay steps forward, and I come to my feet and allow him to pull me into a hug. He releases me and hugs Ava next.

  Once he leaves, Ava and I sit back down and continue to wait for news about my mom. After about another hour, I turn to Ava and ask her to leave.

  “I’m not going anywhere.” Her hands tighten around mine.

  “Have you called your parents to at least tell them where you are?”

  She shakes her head. “I’ll call them in a little while. Do you want me to go to the cafeteria to get you some coffee?”

  “No, thank you. I’ll be—”

  “Julie Richardson?”

  I sigh when I hear my mom’s name. I stand up immediately, making my way over to the doctor on duty. “How is she? Can I see her?”

  The young male doctor with Asian features gives me a warm smile. “Are you related to the patient?”

  “Yes, she’s my mom.”

  The doctor begins to talk and when he tells me that she’s in critical condition, I begin to feel weak in the knees that I have to wrap my arm around Ava’s shoulder for support. When she can’t withstand all of my weight, she and the doctor walk me over to the nearest chair, and I slump down in it. If it weren’t for Ava paying close attention to every word the doctor said, I wouldn’t have known that if it weren’t for the three-hour surgery they had to perform to remove the bullet that ruptured a vital artery in her stomach that she would’ve bled to death. She was scheduled to have a blood transfusion in the morning. She’s on heavy pain killers and is resting peacefully. After that, I’m not sure all else that happened except that I’m walked out of the hospital and placed inside Ava’s Lexus.

  Sometime during the ride, I do remember telling Ava to take me to my parents’ home. She didn’t put up a fuss and redirected her route. I rest my head on the window sill of her car and stare out the window, looking at the passing trees and clouds forming around the early morning sun rising in the sky. What time is it? The car comes to a stop, and familiar scenery comes into view. Ava’s car remains running, and the thought of being alone is out of the question.

  “Stay,” I say quietly.

  “Okay,” she agrees, followed by a long conversation with her dad over the phone of her explaining why she didn’t come home last night because she was helping a friend. She promised to be home later in the day then ended the call.

  We walk into the house that remains trashed, no matter how many times my mom was left to clean up after my dad from his countless bouts of drunken rage. We head straight to my room. I remove my shoes and shirt then fall lifelessly, stomach first, onto my bed. I bury my head down into my pillow and cry. I feel Ava climb in beside me as she places the gentle touch of her hand on my shoulder. I shift until my body covers hers, my head laying on her chest, and I continue to bawl like a baby. She runs her fingers through my hair while singing a song that I’ve never heard before, but I know from the confidence and familiarity in her voice, that she’s sung many times before. I can barely see through my puffy eyes, so I close them, letting the sedative sound of Ava’s voice lull me to sleep.

  Chapter 25

  Bryce

  I become hypnotized as Ava’s hips sway back and forth to the music coming from her cellphone that lays flat on the now clean counter while she hangs pots and pans on the rack hanging from the ceiling. When I woke up and noticed her gone, I almost panicked until I heard the sound of music coming from downstairs. My sister wouldn’t be in town for another couple of hours, and my dad’s ass is in jail. I hope they lose the fuckin’ key to his jail cell. When I walked down the stairs, I first noticed stacks of full trash bags near the front door then the cleanliness of the entryway of the house. Even our family photos were positioned back on the table near the door. I couldn’t believe my eyes. If it weren’t for the holes in the wall, I would’ve thought I was in someone else’s home.

  My eyes scan over the wiped-down appliances, the empty sink that once was filled with dirty dishes, food particles wiped away from the cabinets, and several recyclable bags filled with groceries. I lean against the wall and continue to watch her quietly, making sure not to startle her. After she hangs the last pot, she steps down from the chair and turns around, and our
eyes lock.

  “What are you doing?” I step away from the wall.

  “Cleaning.”

  I walk toward her. “Why?”

  “Because it needed to be done.”

  “But you didn’t have to. It’s not your problem to worry about.” I stand in front of her and palm her face in my hands.”

  “My parents taught me that whenever someone is in need to give a helping hand.”

  Her words further let me know that she’s pure goodness and I’m damaged goods.

  “I hope you don’t mind, but I go some groceries for the house so when your mom gets home from the hospital, she doesn’t have to worry about it.” She pulls away from me and walks over to the grocery bags and starts pulling out items. “Eggs. Milk. I even got your favorite cereal Captain Crunch.” She looks over her shoulder and smirks at me. “I figured you’ll want to stay here with her until she gets back on her feet.”

  Dear God, I can’t lose her. Please forgive me for all the wrong that I’ve done. I promise to turn my life around if you let me keep her. Amen, I pray in my head for the first time in a long time.

  I go to her, pressing my body against her from behind and nuzzling her neck. “I love you so much,” I profess.

  Ava turns around and looks up at me. “I love you too.” She looks away for a moment then returns her gaze to me. “But we need to talk. I know you have a lot going on right now with your mom, but I don’t want to put this off. I feel like you’re keeping something from me.” She grips my shirt and looks pleadingly up at me. “Please tell me if I’m wrong about how I’m feeling.”

  It’s my turn to look away.

  “So, I’m right then?” She grips my face and forces me to look at her. “Bryce, let me help you carry your burdens. If it’s not me, then maybe you can talk to someone else. Just stop holding it inside.”

  Ding dong!

  “Whoever is at the door can wait. Bryce, please.” Her voice cracks.

  “Shit, I can’t. It might be Clay or my aunt and uncle.” I step away from Ava, and her hands fall helplessly by her side. “They’re probably wondering why I didn’t show up at their place after I left the hospital, and I’m sure they have a lot of questions for me.”

  “Sure,” she sighs then folds her arms across her chest, refusing to look my way.

  Ding dong! The doorbell chimes again.

  I leave the kitchen.

  Ding dong!

  “Fuck, I’m coming,” I mumble under my breath. When I jerk the door open, I don’t expect to see Staci standing on the other side.

  Her eyes meet mine then travel down my naked torso.

  “What the fuck are you doing here?” I sneer then step outside onto the top step.

  Her eyes fly back up to mine then she steps down a step. “You won’t return my calls or answer my texts.”

  I roll my eyes. “I thought you were smarter than that. I mean, you use to be my fuckin’ teacher. I didn’t respond because I don’t want nothing to do with you.”

  “Bryce,” she says calmly and reaches for me.”

  I lean away. “Don’t fuckin’ touch me.”

  I step back inside and attempt to close the door, but she stops it with her palms. I swing it back open.

  “Bryce, please! I heard about your mom, and I wanted to stop by and check on you.”

  “Who the fuck told you about my mom?”

  Staci shakes her head. “No one. I work at the hospital as a Patient Care Technician in the evenings. I saw you and Ava coming through the emergency room entrance. When I didn’t see your name in the database, I searched for your sister’s name then your parents’. That’s how I found out.”

  I let out a harsh laugh then clench my hands into fists. “Un-fuckin-believable. Just leave and don’t call or text me anymore.”

  I go to close the door again.

  “Will you ever forgive me for what I did?!” she shouts.

  I pause.

  “For everything.” She begins to shed real fuckin’ tears. “For coming on to you like I did,” she begins to ramble. “I’m admitting to you right now that what I did was wrong, and I can only imagine the hell I’ve put you through because of my actions because my own life is in shambles. I can’t find a teaching job in the state of Tennessee, and my husband wants a divorce. I’m basically starting all over.”

  “And that’s my fuckin’ problem!?!” I yell.

  “No, no. It’s not,” she whimpers. “I’m just trying to get my life back together.”

  “And in order for you to do that, you need my fuckin’ forgiveness?” I narrow my eyes. My life was already fucked up when you came into it. You knew that and took advantage of my situation.” My voice lowers and becomes cynical. “Then to top that, you got an abortion because you didn’t know if it was mine or your husband’s even though we used condoms every time. You also told me that you were on the pill, but I guess that was a fuckin lie.”

  “If I could press rewind on my life I would’ve—“

  Staci becomes mute; her eyes widen in horror, and her porcelain skin ashens to a ghostly white, and she’s no longer looking right at me—but behind me.

  Shit! Shit!

  Everything around me comes to an earth-shattering silence. No, that’s a lie because I can hear my fuckin’ pulse booming like a bass drum in my ears. My heart constricts then explodes into a billion bloody pieces when I hear Ava wailing behind me.

  This can’t be fuckin happening right now. I shut my eyes tight. This is all a fuckin’ nightmare, and when I open my eyes, everything will be somewhat back to normal. I slowly open my eyes and see Ava dashing by me then down the stairs. Staci runs after her, and I follow suit.

  “Ava, please stop.” Staci reaches for her arm. “I didn’t mean for you to overhear any of that.”

  “Don’t fuckin’ touch me!” Ava stops walking and points a finger in warning at Staci, but Staci reaches for her once again.

  A crackling sound echoes in the air when Ava smacks the shit out of Staci. “I told you not to touch me.”

  Staci tumbles down on her ass and palms the side of her face.

  Ava stalks her way, and Staci scoots back across the ground, scampering to get away from her. “Come near me and I’ll call the police!” Staci shouts.

  “Call the cops on me?” Ava laughs. “I fuckin’ dare you! You’re the one who needs to be locked up for having sex with a student!”

  I wrap my arms around Ava’s waist and pull her back. “Baby, calm down. She’s not worth it.”

  “No!” Her nails dig in the skin of my arms, and I let her go and watch a flood of tears storm down her cheeks. “Why didn’t you just tell me?”

  Every time I reach for her, she flinches away as if my touch burns her.

  “I need to go.” Ava looks around in search of an exit while frantically combing her fingers through her curls. “I need my purse and k-keys.” She swipes at her cheeks, smearing the mascara under her eyes. “I think I left them on the counter,” she says trancelike. Then as if I’m not standing there, she walks past me, toward the house.

  “Bryce.” My blood boils when I hear Staci call out to me. “I’m so sorry.”

  “Leave!” I bark. Tears of pure, fuckin’ anger sting and cloud my vision. “I don’t want to ever see you again. Do you hear me?”

  She nods then slowly rises to her feet.

  I run into the house just as Ava is leaving the kitchen. “Ava.” I block her path.

  “Bryce—“ she chokes. “I can’t right now.”

  “Please.” I grip her shoulders. “I need you to hear me out,” I plead.

  “I can’t.” Her shoulders begin to shake violently along with the never-ending tears streaming down her cheeks. “I can’t!” She grips the front of my shirt then presses her face into my chest and screams.

  “Ava.” I become choked up. I can’t breathe, and the dreadful feeling one gets when someone you love is taken away from you, knowing you’ll possibly never see them again, like the passing o
f my grandfather, washes over me.

  Ava looks up at me with teary eyes void of emotion. “When she introduced herself to me at the fair, I got an uneasy feeling in the pit of my stomach, but I chalked it off to eating too much cotton candy.” She smiles up at me but it’s not her usually beautiful, bright one that turns all of my bad days into good ones. Instead, she gives me a sympathetic one, as if she pities me. “I don’t know if it was the way she looked at you,” she continues, “or how you rejected her touch. I just knew something was off between the two of you, but I didn’t question it.” Ava lets go of my shirt and takes several slow steps away from me, looking worn out and defeated. “God, I can’t believe this is happening.”

  My shaky hands ache to touch and hold her, and my paralyzed vocal cords want to tell her how much I love her, but my conscience says it’s not the time. She probably won’t believe me, and I’ve put her through enough already.

  “I just need time to process all of this.” Ava palms her forehead, briefly closing her eyes. “I have to go, Bryce. I—” She stops talking and looks as if she’s about to break down again.

  Before I can witness another tear streak down her cheek, she’s out the door, getting into her car, and driving as far away as she can away from me and all my fucked-up baggage.

  Chapter 26

  Bryce

  I stare out into the dark field, filled with cows and bales of hay. I swallow the last drop of beer in my can before littering it to the ground with the other two I finished off in less than an hour. I reach into the cooler on the back of Clay’s truck that I filled up with ice, bottles of water, and a six-pack of beer that I purchased from the convenience store not far from Clay’s house. Thanks to the blonde behind the counter, who was ditsy as fuck and couldn’t tell a fake ID from a real one, I’d probably be drinking water and smoking weed instead.