REX (Finding Love)

by Beth Michele

  I glance over at Vanessa, a single tear escaping down her skin, and she quickly pats it away. She breaks from her trance, a bittersweet smile trapped between her lips, but something seems off. The expression on her face is not a happy one. It tugs at me, and I guess I’m getting sucked into the moment too, because I place my hand on top of hers, threading our fingers together.

  This is the last time I’m attending one of these things. It’s fucking with my head.

  We’re both silent as Olivia’s tears continue to fall, and now even Hunter looks weepy, waiting on her expectantly, as if his entire life hangs in the balance. I suppose for him, it does. That’s how much he loves her. For a second, I wonder what that’s like. And for an even longer time, I let my eyes drift to the girl sitting beside me, but quickly snap them away when she catches me staring.

  “Yes, Hunter. There’s nothing I want more than to marry you,” Olivia manages to say through a neverending stream of tears. Hunter wastes no time, grabbing her, swinging her around before they kiss to seal the promises they just made to one another.

  “Good.” I sit forward in my chair. “Now that that’s over, can we go?” And Vanessa glares at me before I get pelted one more time for that comment. I give her the stink eye right back. “Hey, you’re three for three. Watch it.”

  She jumps up from her chair, rounding the table to hug Olivia once Hunter finally lets go of her. “I’m so happy for you, Liv. You deserve this and I love you so much.”

  Olivia pulls away with a twinkle in her eyes, holding Vanessa at arm’s length, assessing her. “You knew about this all along, didn’t you?” Then she points a finger at me. “And you too.”

  “Maybe,” Vanessa and I say in unison before we start laughing.

  Hunter comes around to me and I stand up, gripping him in a hug. “Congrats, bro. I’m really happy for you.”

  “Thanks, Rex. And just so you know, I’m giving you advanced warning. I want you to be my best man.”

  I pat him on the back a few more times as I let his words sink in, my stomach sinking right along with them. “But, Hunter, you know I’m—”

  “There are no buts.” He breaks our embrace, determination in his gaze. “You’re my brother and I love you. It’s that simple. And I know we disagree on a lot of things, but this isn’t something I’m going to take no for an answer on. So don’t fight me on it, okay?”

  “Okay,” I reply, resigned, knowing he’s right.

  The walls begin closing in on me, the lump in my throat growing, making it difficult to breathe. I need air desperately. “I’m gonna get some air. I’ll be back.” I don’t wait for a response. Instead, I head in the direction of whichever door will get me outside the fastest.

  I push through the crowd waiting to get in, finally making it outside and releasing a huge breath I didn’t realize I’d been holding. Bending over, hands on my knees, I let out a couple more slow breaths. That’s when I feel a hand on my shoulder.

  “You okay, Rex?” Vanessa’s sweet voice fills my ears, her warmth instantly surrounding me.

  I get to my feet, my hands fisted at my hips. “Yeah.” I shrug, looking down at the ground, kicking a piece of loose concrete. “This shit is hard for me. I just don’t do well with it, you know?”

  “Yeah, I do know,” she says, and when my eyes climb to hers, I can see that she does. Somehow, she understands. She gets me. Even as fucked up as I am.

  Pinching the fabric of her dress, I draw her closer. “Come home with me,” I say against her lips. “Will you?” I ask the question, my stomach cinched with nerves as I wait for her answer.

  “Yeah. I’d like that,” she replies in a soft breath, and for some reason my heart knocks against my chest knowing she wants to be with me. Even if it’s only temporary.

  “I want to go in and say goodbye first, though. Come on.” She reaches between us and threads her fingers through mine, leading me back inside.

  I might just follow her anywhere.

  “Congratulations, again.” She gives Hunter a hug before moving on to Olivia. “Call me tomorrow, okay, Liv. And enjoy the rest of your night celebrating,” she says, as they exchange a mischievous wink.

  “So, I guess you’re gonna be stuck with my brother for life,” I tease, embracing Olivia.

  “Yup,” she grins, “and I wouldn’t want it any other way.” She looks lovingly at Hunter and he returns her expression tenfold.

  “All right, man, I’ll catch up with you tomorrow.”

  “You got it,” he says, before we head out, and I glance back one more time at the two of them with a slight smile, guilt fueling my brain because all I want to do is run from all this fucking happiness.

  “That was nice of Hunter to have the car take us back.” Vanessa stares out the window, the lights and colors of the city whizzing by us in a blur. A quiet settles over her, but not a comfortable one, the air suddenly heavy with unshed thoughts.

  “You all right, Blondie?”

  “Hmph?” She swings her head around. “Yeah. Fine.”

  I pat the seat next to me. “Come closer. You’re too far away,” I tell her, and she readily moves over, laying her head on my shoulder—and I find myself liking it, a rope of confusion pulling tighter in my gut. “What are you thinking about?” Leaning my chin atop her hair, my fingers sketch shapes on her arm, goose bumps marching along her skin.

  With a heavy sigh, she says, “Olivia. I’m just thinking about how happy I am for her.”

  “Is that all? Because you seem… I don’t know, sad or something.” My hand pauses on her arm as I wait for her reply.

  “I just hope they’ll be happy together, that’s all. I didn’t have good role models for marriage. But they love each other and that will be enough, right?”

  “You know what? And I may be out of my mind for saying this, but I actually think they’ll be very happy. They really do love each other and I think with that, they’ll be able to get through anything.”

  She lifts her head, shifting to meet my eyes, the glow from passing cars casting shadows on her face. “You going soft on me, Rex Grayson?”

  “Never. I can’t afford to tarnish my badass reputation.”

  Her eyes hold me until she edges closer, touching her lips to mine in a whisper of a kiss that leaves me wanting more.

  “That’s all I get?”

  “For now,” she adds, going back to my shoulder.

  “You seem really tired.” I close the door to my apartment, dropping my keys and wallet on the coffee table.

  She doesn’t acknowledge my comment, just continues walking toward the bedroom, shedding her heels as she goes. I follow behind, half-expecting her to collapse into bed. But that’s not what she does. Instead, she perches at the edge of it, her eyes, a sultry gray-blue, seeking out mine. “I-I need you to touch me, Rex.”

  The words come out like a plea, which strikes me as odd because the last thing she has to do is beg me to put my hands on her. That’s all I want to do whenever she’s around.

  I join her on the bed, tugging on the hem of her dress. “Lift up, baby,” I instruct, and as she raises her ass, I peel the dress over her head, whistling a breath through my teeth at the sight of her lacy red bra and thong.

  Moving closer, my nose trails up the length of her neck, her head falling back as she lets out a needy moan. “Do you know what I was thinking about all night?” I murmur, my voice deep, and she shakes her head from side to side. “Every time you touched your silky hair, crossed and uncrossed your legs, or brought the glass of champagne to your mouth and I watched you swallow,” I whisper, my teeth nipping her lobe, “I was thinking about my lips on every inch of your skin, starting right here.” I lick the sweet spot behind her ear and she whimpers. “Then working my way down here,” I groan, as my fingers squeeze her tight buds through her bra. “To your pretty pink nipples. Then—”

  “Rex—”

  “Shhh, baby, I’m not done. Then I envisioned moving lower to your stomach, my tongue tasting
your flesh, strolling past the curve of your hip—”

  “Ahh,” she cries out, her nipple hardening as I flick it back and forth through the fabric.

  “—until finally I’m sliding my tongue between your thighs. And when you’re so wet, only when you’re dripping for me,” I rasp, and she purrs as I rub a finger across her panties, damp with want, “then I’d bury my cock deep inside your pussy, fucking you slowly, wanting to hear my name on your lips as you’re coming apart—”

  “Rex, please,” she pleads, spreading her legs for me, her body buzzing with need.

  “Lie back,” I direct, and with her feet flat on the bed she scoots toward the pillows. Her eyes never leave mine as I jump off, ridding myself of my pants and boxers, and discarding my shirt.

  Her searing gaze continues to burn into me as she unclasps her bra, dropping it to the carpet. The next to go are her panties, as she slips them down her legs, kicking them to the side. There’s a hunger in her eyes as she stares at me, but there’s something else there, too. I don’t know what it is, but it’s gnawing away at me.

  I crawl over her, unable to help noticing the fire in her gaze has dimmed. An uneasiness settles over me. “Blondie—”

  “Shhh.” She puts a finger to my lips. “Don’t talk,” she says, before cupping my neck, pulling my mouth down to hers for a kiss.

  I attempt to shake off the discomfort, focusing instead on the goddess beneath me. Our tongues collide as she holds me where she wants me. Licking, devouring, searching. The smell of her—her skin, her pussy—is all around me. And my cock is rigid and erect, so damn hard for her.

  Breaking the kiss abruptly, my anxious lips trail down her body, following her scent. I spend extra time caressing her nipples with my tongue and fingers, pulling and twisting, sucking until they’re stiff and sensitive. A strangled sob of pleasure leaves her as she holds her tits, pushing them into my mouth. Her legs begin moving wildly on the bed as she grinds against me, and I’m so turned on, I’ll probably come if she keeps that up.

  “Rex,” she lets out a jagged whimper, “I want your mouth between my legs.” And that’s all I need to hear before I lower myself, spreading her thighs apart, my eyes closing on a deep inhale. I separate her pink folds, and she bucks against my face at the first tease of my tongue to her sensitive clit.

  “I love how wet you get,” I mumble, before my tongue gets lost inside of her as I lick her pussy, sliding a finger in and out, fucking her with my finger and my mouth, my cock wanting to be next.

  I’m bathing in her slickness, her hot liquid coating my throat, my tongue, as she writhes and moans, her hands diving into my hair to pull me in deep.

  “God, that feels good. You’re going to make me come, Rex.”

  “Come, baby,” I groan, before my tongue sweeps over her clit one final time and she explodes around me, climax completely overtaking her as her sex pulses against my mouth. I drag out her orgasm, kissing and sucking her clit, licking her until all those sexy little mewls have subsided.

  As I inch back up her body, I’m struck by the glossy look in her eyes. “What’s wrong? Did I hurt you?” I ask softly, and she shakes her head instead of answering me. I immediately climb off, propping myself on my elbow beside her. Even though my dick is hard and I want her desperately, that’s not what is important right now. “What is it?” I push a sweaty lock of hair behind her ear. “You look like you’re about to cry.”

  “No, I’m not,” she states matter of factly. “I’m not a crier.”

  “Bullshit. And you’ve been upset since we left the restaurant. What is it?” I ask again.

  She stares straight ahead, and that’s when I see the tiniest of tears creeping down her cheek. I know she’s trying to hide it from me, but it’s too late. “I don’t know. I just feel… empty.”

  “Come here, baby,” I say, curling her into my chest, tucking her close.

  Everything about her disarms me: her smile, her touch, her spirit. Little by little, she’s diffusing the bomb that constantly ticks, the one threatening to rip me apart—and I don’t even think she gets it.

  My mouth opens to speak, but my fucking tongue gets caught in my throat when I need it the most. I’m unable to form the words to tell her how far from empty she is, that I’ve never met anyone quite like her before. But the only thing that slips out is a frustrated sigh.

  I guess I’ll just save it for another day.

  A sliver of light reaches through the curtains, tapping me on the shoulder, awakening me. And I wake up to the most beautiful sight—a sleeping Rex Grayson. I watch, his dark lashes splashing across his cheeks, the angle of his strong jaw, the peaceful smile on his lips. I listen to the continuous beat, the steady sound of his quiet breathing.

  Last night’s conversation comes back to me and I exhale a shaky breath, knowing why I was so upset. I just couldn’t admit it fully to Rex. After watching Olivia and Hunter, I finally realized I want that kind of love. There’s a huge part of me that craves it desperately. The only problem is, I don’t know how to get it. I’m not sure I know how to give it either.

  I wish the people that brought me into this world had been better teachers—that I had been one of those children whose parents knew how to show their love with kisses and hugs rather than dismissive glances, with long, heartfelt talks instead of the ‘ignorance is bliss’ theme that ran through my house. Buying me off was much easier than paying attention to me. My mind tumbles down a road that is paved with sadness.

  Daddy poked his head in to say goodnight. I didn’t see him at dinner because he was working so I guess he just got home.

  “Goodnight, Vanessa,” he said.

  “Daddy,” I called out, just as he was closing the door.

  “Yes?”

  “Can you read me a bedtime story tonight? You said you would last night.” I held my breath and played with my fingers while I waited for his answer, hoping he would say yes.

  But then I heard that clinking noise. The same one I always heard when I asked for a story. He dropped a lot of coins in my piggy bank, then looked over at me.

  “There. Now tomorrow Stella can take you to the bookstore and you can buy a brand new book. I promise we can read it tomorrow night.”

  “Okay, Daddy,” I said, knowing that promises meant nothing and tomorrow would never come.

  I force a deep breath from my lungs, trying to expel the memory and focus on the present. And the biggest question of all, looming over my head like a dark cloud. Why is all this surfacing now?

  The answer is right next to me.

  Fear prompts my lungs to constrict as that thought settles into my brain. But when I look over at Rex, I feel like I could jump and it might just be okay. Maybe he’s the one who would catch me if I fall.

  When his eyes blink open, I realize it might be too late. I may have already fallen.

  “Morning,” he says with a sleepy smile, stretching his arms above his head, the eagle soaring across his chest. He swivels on his side, brown eyes studying me. “How are you this morning? Better?”

  “Yes. I think so. Just had an off night.” I do my best to distract from my true feelings, feelings he probably doesn’t even return.

  “An off night, huh?” He strums up and down my arm with his fingertip and my skin prickles.

  “Yeah.”

  “Well, you’re entitled. Hey, can I ask you something?” His tone is hesitant.

  “Sure. I think you’re entitled to ask me a lot of somethings, a bit of payback perhaps?” I giggle, but he doesn’t laugh. His face grows serious, his gaze straying beyond my shoulder before returning to mine.

  “I’ve been wondering something. What did you mean when you said no one had taken care of you like that before?”

  “Oh.” Tension pulls my cheeks in, my lips forming a straight line. Now I’m the one who’s not looking at him, but instead, focusing on the space between us. “My parents were… busy people. Both attorneys, not around a lot. Stella was always looking after me
but it wasn’t the same. I always wanted it to be my mom, but well… it never was. I was very stubborn and didn’t want Stella doing things for me. Things like washing my hair. So I would try to do it myself but never did a very good job.”

  I swallow a breath as the teasing I endured fills my head. “Sometimes I would go to school with greasy hair and my mother would get very upset, but still she wouldn’t take the time to wash it. She didn’t want anything to do with me, I guess.” I finally gain the courage to meet his eyes. “I mean, don’t get me wrong. I know there were kids who had it a lot worse than me. I at least had a roof over my head and food, but still, I thought it was pretty fucked up. They basically pushed me off on someone else because they didn’t want to make time for me. I guess when it comes down to it,” I shrug, “I wasn’t important enough.”

  “You know, there’s always someone who has it worse, but that doesn’t make what you’ve experienced any less fucking real to you. And well, I—” Looking past me to the side table, he glances at the clock. “Shit, I have to get to work. I have a nine o’clock appointment.”

  “Okay,” I reply back, curious now as to what he was going to say. “I need to get going, too. I want to see if Olivia can meet for breakfast before I go to work.”

  “I wish I didn’t have to go, though.” He presses his erection into my thigh. “I’d much rather stay here with you.”