Felix

by Elizabeth Reyes

  He saw her eyes begin to well up, but she quickly shook her head as if to ward off the emotion. Emotion he knew she had to be hiding just to put up the happy act for him.

  “I haven’t told my dad.”

  “I’ll tell him. Don’t worry about that. When will they admit you?”

  “Tonight. They wanna start as soon as possible.”

  That was another blow to the gut for Felix, but he forced himself to recover from it fast. “I’ll go call the guys and explain to them I’ll be off for the next three days.” He kissed her softly. “It’s gonna be fine.”

  Felix was determined to turn the tables on her and stop forcing her to be the strong one when she should be focusing on getting well, not coddling everyone around her. He’d call her dad later tonight and explain to him that all of them—her dad, Memo, and Felix himself—needed to man the fuck up already. He was done letting Ella take on the entire burden and have to hide her emotion—her fear. He knew she had to be scared out of her mind. He certainly was.

  Felix had often said Ella was his life now and if he lost her he’d be losing his life. He could say it all he wanted, but the truth was it was only metaphorically speaking. He’d never do that to his mother, but he knew if Ella didn’t win this battle he’d never recover from this loss. A part of his soul would die with her, and life as he knew it would be changed forever. But this was Ella’s actual life. She was dealing with the fact that this maybe it for her. Not even a broken empty shell of a life would be left of her as it would be for Felix. She was dealing with a much harsher reality, and he needed to remember that.

  The whole way to the hospital Felix kept a positive attitude. It actually pissed him off that doing so seemed to actually allow Ella to stop trying to put up such a brave front. Once she was all hooked up to the monitors and the IV drip and the nurse finished explaining all the details of the procedure, they were left alone and Ella admitted she was scared.

  Felix fought the urge to grind his teeth. Of course she was scared. He was just glad he’d finally pulled his head out of his ass and let her be the scared one. “A very wise person once told me it was okay to be scared.”

  She smiled at him weakly. “It’s what my mom used to tell me all the time. What wasn’t okay was to give up—be defeated. And I won’t be.”

  “I know,” he said, squeezing her hand, “because you promised. You know what my mom said to me when I called her to tell her you were being admitted?”

  He’d leave out the part about desperately begging his mom to help him calm down. Ella looked at him curiously. “What?”

  “She said things can never be so bad if they could be worse, and she reminded me that there is always something to be thankful for.” He fought the emotion because he was done falling apart in front of Ella at least for now. “You’re still fighting, the doctors are still hopeful, and getting more aggressive treatment is a good thing. We should be thankful for it, not scared.”

  Felix wanted to tell her more. His mom had said the same thing she’d told him when he was so terrified Jordan wouldn’t make it. ”Your scars are a symbol of your strength.” When this was all over, he and Ella would be so much stronger for it, but he was afraid his voice would break halfway through and all this talk of being strong would be all for nothing.

  The next few days were a grueling reminder of what he’d been through with Jordan: the days in the hospital praying and worrying and hating to see that person you loved so weak and listless. They weren’t kidding when they said this treatment was aggressive. When Ella wasn’t throwing up, she was out of it. Felix had asked his mom to bring in Ella’s scarves because she didn’t want to wear her wig in the hospital and her head was cold. Felix had helped her before with the head wrap and had wrapped her head almost as nicely as when she did it herself.

  When she was released on the evening of the third day, she was feeling much better, but the doctors warned that she should stay in bed and get lots of rest for the next week at least. She made Felix promise to go back to training. He had just three days left to train before the fight. And even though he couldn’t imagine being focused enough to go through this fight, knowing she was home still feeling so sick, he kept his promise because, according to Ella, their deal still stood. If he won his battle, so would she.

  The day before he left to Vegas he got the news. Even though he’d gotten Memo and Ella’s dad tickets to see the fight in person, they were both going to stay back and watch the fight with Ella at Felix’s house. The girls all decided to stay back with her too. Only Abel, Noah, and Gio would come to Vegas with him.

  Charlee had had a scare recently with her pregnancy. Felix wasn’t even sure what had happened. All he knew was Hector wasn’t going out of town if she wasn’t coming with him, so he was staying too. Felix couldn’t blame him. Hector wouldn’t be there as a trainer anyway. If Felix weren’t the one fighting, his ass would be home too.

  Felix quickly made arrangements to have one of the comfortable chaises in the library—one of the chaises Ella liked so much—brought down into the great room so she could watch the fight with everyone else. He was actually glad that they’d all be there. Felix imagined her lying there during his fight, propped up with pillows under a nice warm blanket, being waiting on by friends and family and the nurses in his absence. Though he already knew Ella could be stubborn about being waited on.

  She’d already tried to give the nurses the night and next day off since her brother and father, who were both untrained in the medical field, would be staying with her. That was quickly axed, and since he knew how stubborn Ella could be, he reminded the nurses he was their boss, not Ella. If she tried to send them home, they were under no circumstances to go.

  The day finally came when he had to leave. Felix and his training crew were flying out in his private jet. Felix had been sitting at Ella’s bedside for over a half hour saying goodbye when Noah finally walked in.

  He smiled at Ella. “I’m glad to hear you’re feeling better.”

  “Much better,” she said, patting Felix’s leg. “I heard your brothers are going to be there.”

  “Yeah,” he nodded, feeling a bit bittersweet. “I haven’t seen those two in over a year.”

  “That’s exciting,” she smiled big, squeezing his leg.

  He knew she was trying to make him feel better, but he could still see it in her tired eyes. She was drained and still a little out of it from all the meds she was on.

  Noah turned to Felix. “Dude, I thought we were scheduled to take off at two? It’s one thirty. It’s gonna take us longer than a half hour to get to the airport.”

  Felix nodded. “I’ll be right out.”

  Noah didn’t look convinced by that at all. Felix had said the same thing to Gio when he’d walked up there fifteen minutes earlier to tell Felix they were cutting it close.

  “You better get going, Felix. I’m gonna be fine. I promise. My dad and Memo are spending the night tonight, so I won’t be alone with just the nurse.” She touched his face. “I know you’re gonna win. Just do it fast, okay? I don’t know how much I can take of seeing someone swinging at you. Even back when I didn’t even know you, my hands were constantly over my eyes when I’d watch your fights.”

  Felix smiled, surprised at that. He didn’t realize he’d had many close fights that would make people nervous.

  He leaned over and kissed her one last time. But as he had all week it was very soft and gentle. He didn’t want to overwhelm her. She looked so fragile. “I love you,” he whispered.

  “I love you too.”

  He kissed her again. “I’ll miss you.”

  She smiled. “I’ll miss you too.”

  He straightened out, dropping his head back. “God, I don’t wanna leave you.”

  “You’re not leaving me. You’re just gonna go get your title back and then fly right back to me.”

  “Literally,” he reminded her. “I’m gone one night. That’s it. I fly back here tomorrow night after the fight.”


  “I know.” She laughed. “Now go before the guys come in here and drag you out.”

  “That’s exactly what I was coming in here for,” Abel said as he walked in the door. “We gotta go, man. I told them I wasn’t coming down without you.”

  Felix turned back to Ella with a frown and kissed her one last time. Things are not so bad if they could be worse. He was saying goodbye to her just for one day. It could be so much worse. He’d be thankful that he would still talk to her tonight when he got there and he’d be back in less than forty-eight hours.

  He never imagined having such a huge fight lined up and not being pumped up for it at all. Noah and Gio weren’t happy about that. He could tell they were worried, but in all honesty, he really didn’t care one way or another about the fight. Felix wasn’t even gone yet, and all he could think of was getting back to Ella.

  Chapter 25

  Ella

  It was hard not to, but Ella couldn’t help feeling anxiety, knowing that if Felix lost tonight it would be her fault. She could hardly believe she was even in his home. If she hadn’t met him just several months ago, she’d likely be watching this at home, completely unaware of what was going on in his head, and it certainly wouldn’t be thoughts of her and her illness.

  Ella had talked to her mother more than once today. She was trying to be strong—think positively—but she’d seen it in his eyes, heard it in his words, and felt it in his kisses.

  Felix’s heart wasn’t in this fight.

  It was what scared her the most. Last night when they’d spoken on the phone, he promised, as usual, that he’d do his best. But Ella had heard it once again. He just wasn’t feeling it. He was more concerned about going over her meds and white blood cell counts.

  She’d finally managed to steer the conversation onto something she’d rather that he think about—the things they’d do when she was better. He told her he had big plans but wouldn’t tell her what. All he said was his princess would get the royal treatment.

  Everyone was over now, and they’d made a party out of it. Ella had showered and gotten out of her pajamas and into a soft linen pantsuit. She knew Felix was expecting her to lie there in the middle of the room all propped up in her jammies, letting everyone wait on her.

  She did sit on the chaise because he’d gone through all the trouble of bringing it down for her, but she didn’t lie down on it. Isidora, Felix’s mom, and Alessandra had stayed back with Ella as well. They ordered pizza, and Isidora made a huge pot of posole. Isidora said she never went to Felix’s fights anyway. They were too stressful.

  “Even watching them on the television, I can hardly stand it,” she’d explained. “That last fight where he went down and stayed down for several minutes I thought I was gonna lose my mind.”

  Ella cringed. She couldn’t even imagine having to watch that now. She’d witnessed him going down because, of course, they’d watched the big fight at her house. Even then, before she’d ever met him, it was awful seeing him go down so hard.

  She overheard Hector and her brother talking. Hector was telling Memo how Noah was worried that Grecco would be even stronger this time around.

  “He’s got a lot to prove and he’s angry,” he said. “Everyone wrote off that first fight as a fluke. They all agreed that if Felix had been in shape and prepared, fighting like he normally does, there was no way that fight would’ve ended like it did.”

  Hector lowered his voice even as Ella pretended to be engrossed in what Nellie and Roni were talking about, but she still heard it anyway.

  “Noah’s worried he’s not all there again. If Grecco did get even stronger, and we’re hearing he did, this could end badly again.”

  Ella stopped listening after that, focusing only on the positive. Before she got sick, both Noah and Gio were certain Felix had this. He was in the best shape of his life, and the training was going even better than they’d hoped. Felix may’ve lost his mental focus, but he was still a hell of a fighter and in awesome shape. He could do this.

  The awkwardness in the room when Athena once again stepped into the ring to belt out the national anthem was a living thing. It was a little uncomfortable but nothing Ella was worried about. Felix hadn’t mentioned she’d be singing again at his fight, but then his head had barely been there when it came to anything about this fight.

  The formalities and announcements were over, and the bell rang. Isidora’s hand was immediately over her mouth and she paced. Ella wished she’d sit down. Isidora’s pacing was making her even more nervous than she already was.

  Grecco got a few good ones in, bringing the crowd and Hector to their feet. “Get ’im back!” Hector said through his teeth, jabbing his fist in the air.

  A few agonizing seconds later the first round was over. Hector, Memo, and her dad agreed that round could go either way. Though Ella got the feeling they were just saying that for her sake. Grecco had been by far the aggressor in that round.

  The next few rounds were the same. Felix had landed a few but nothing too impressive. Then came the round that nearly stopped her heart. Grecco got in a good one that rocked Felix and had him against the ropes. He landed another one, and Felix went down but not all the way. He landed on his knee and stayed there for a moment as the ref pushed Grecco away and began to count.

  “Ay Dios mio!” Isidora said as she walked out of the room.

  “Get up!” Hector yelled at the screen.

  “Get up, baby,” Ella whispered, her heart at her throat now, but she refused to think anything but positive thoughts. This was just a minor setback.

  Felix got up and took a few steps around as the ref continued his count. When he was done, he asked Felix something and Felix nodded.

  “Is that considered a knock out?” Memo asked.

  “No,” her dad said immediately. “It’s a knock down and he got back up.”

  “It’s a standing eight,” Hector said, his eyes still glued to the screen. “But it’s still gonna cost him two points. That’s huge. He’s got a lot to make up for now.”

  Just then Felix landed one. A good one and it rattled Grecco.

  “That’s it!” Hector yelled, jumping in place. “C’mon, baby!”

  But just when Felix began to gain some momentum, the bell went off. Ella had never been so nervous in her life, not even during her stay in the hospital this week. She’d been too out of it to be nervous. When her mother was ill, she’d been too numb, and when Memo was going through his nightmare after killing that guy, she’d been too full of adrenaline and determination to save him to have time to feel nervous. Now she was completely nervous.

  The camera and mics picked up on the conversation in Felix’s corner. “You gotta knock him out,” Noah was saying.

  The commentators agreed at that point that Felix was behind. There were only three rounds left, and he really needed to win them. Inevitably, the tabloids had gotten wind of Ella being sick and the commentators spoke of that too, saying it had to be taking a toll on Felix’s mental focus.

  Again the awkwardness in the room was heavy, but thankfully the bell rang and the focus was back on the fight. Felix came out on fire. Whatever else Noah and Gio had said to him must’ve worked because he immediately had Grecco against the ropes.

  “Do it, baby!” Hector yelled, jabbing his fists in the air. “Knock that fucker out!”

  Everyone else in the room chanted, equally enthused, and Isidora promptly left the room again.

  Ella sat up straighter, hopeful that Grecco might go down because, for a moment, he seemed to lose his footing but was able to use the ropes to stay up.

  “Keep hitting him!” Hector yelled, but the ref separated them. “Aw c’mon!”

  The second they were able to, the boxers began again, and this time they both went at it. Each landed a few, but Felix landed some good ones. Everyone in that place was going wild just as everyone in the room was too. The only time Hector even sat he’d been at the edge of his seat, yelling his lungs out. The bel
l rang just as Felix landed another good one.

  “Okay, he got that one,” Hector said, clapping his hands. “But I still think he needs to knock him out.”

  Ella brought her hands to her mouth, lacing them tightly as she tried in vain to keep her leg from shaking nervously. Once again, Felix came out on a mission, but Grecco backed away each time Felix neared him.

  “Look at him!” Hector held his hand out toward the TV, disgusted. “He’s running!”

  “Why’s he doing that?” Ella asked.

  “Because his corner thinks he’s got this,” Hector explained, still unable to pull his eyes away from the screen. “And they probably told him to just stay away from Felix.”

  Felix ran Grecco into a corner and started pounding him.

  “Yeah!” Hector jumped up and down. “Get ’im, baby! Get ’im! Knock his ass down.”

  Grecco wrapped his arms around Felix, trying to slow down Felix’s momentum.

  “Get him off you!” Hector yelled.

  The ref separated them, and Grecco was able to get out of the corner, but Felix landed another just as Grecco began walking away, and Grecco fell on his knee.

  “Yes!” Hector jumped even higher. “Finish him!”

  The ref came in between them, forcing Felix away, and began counting. Grecco was slower to get up than Felix had been, but he got back up. Just like with Felix the ref asked Grecco something and he nodded.

  “Finish him,” Hector said. “He’s tired now. Go at him hard.”

  The ten-second warning bell rang, and the two battled it out hard, making the crowd go wild again. Felix landed the last one before the bell, making Grecco stumble.

  Hector ran his hands down his face, clearly still nervous about this even though Felix had done so well in that last round.

  “What do you think?” Memo asked, and Ella stared at Hector, anxious to hear his thoughts.

  “I don’t know,” he said, bringing his hands to his waist and doing a little pacing himself. “He’s doing well now, but I don’t know if it’s enough. Grecco may’ve gotten a lot of those first rounds.”