All I Want

by J. Daniels

  “He was flipping around like crazy earlier today. Kicking me in the ribs and using my bladder as a punching bag. I had to pee four times when I was at the grocery store, and you know my thing with public restrooms.” She scrunches up her face. “Gross.”

  We both round the couch and sit on opposite ends, Mia taking a lot longer than me to plant her butt down. Once it’s accomplished, she lets out soft grunt. “I really hope I go a little bit early. I mean, look at me.” She motions to her belly. Her very pregnant belly.

  Mia’s due in less than a month, and I know for a fact that she’s been doing everything possible as of recently to move things along. I think she looks amazing. From the back, she doesn’t even appear to be pregnant. The only weight she’s put on has gone to her mid-section and her boobs. I gaze at them in appreciation and then drop my eyes to my own chest, which serves its C-cup purpose.

  “I bet my brother is loving the extra room those are taking up,” I say, nodding at her ample addition.

  “He is a bit more fascinated with them than usual.” She stares off at the floor for a moment, and I catch the flush in her cheeks as some memory washes over her. “Oh!” She turns her face up to me with a beaming smile. “I almost forgot about your date last night. Tell me everything.”

  I groan and throw my head back onto the couch.

  I’ve been registered on Ignite for nine days, and every guy so far that has contacted me has either been too old, too weird, or given off a rapey vibe from his screen-name alone. One guy landed on ClitMaster69 when he went through the tedious task of settling on a name. And then there was FingerBanger and ItsSmallButWorks. Seriously? I applaud you for your honesty, dude, but I believe my ideal mate is supposed to be able to fuck like a champion, and there is always a size requirement when it comes to my pussy. You must be this long to board this ride.

  “Helloooo?”

  I look over at my best friend with a forced smile. “Oh, he was a charmer. Not only did he bring me flowers when he came to pick me up, but he also brought his dirty fucking laundry.”

  “Are you serious?” she asks with a hint of laughter in her voice. “Did you go out with him?”

  I grimace at the very idea of entertaining that insanity. “Hell to the no I didn’t go out with him. I told him to take his dirty whites somewhere else, after I snatched my flowers out of his hand.” I admire the bouquet of lilies that I had placed on my coffee table last night after sticking them in my one and only vase. “It was a real shame, too. He was crazy hot.”

  Mia leans forward with great effort, and smells the flowers. “Well, it’s only been a little over a week since you joined Ignite. You have plenty of time to find the one.”

  I thought I’d already found him.

  I blink heavily. “A month. That’s all I’m giving this. It’s a shame you’re married to my brother now because come July, I might actually consider switching teams.”

  She giggles and shifts on the couch. Holding her hands out to me, she gives me a pleading smile. “Can you help me up? I gotta go pick up Nolan from your parents’ house.”

  I stand and grab both her hands, pulling her to her feet. She leans back and places a hand on the small of her back, arching her belly out until it’s touching mine. “Whew. That’s my workout for the day. You know I can barely fit behind the wheel with this thing? Ooooh! Give me!” She grabs my hand and flattens it out against her belly.

  And then I feel it. Finally. The quick jabs against my fingers followed by a rolling sensation against my palm.

  I lean down and get eye level with her bump. “Hey, Mr. Stubborn. It’s about damn time you let me feel you.” I look up at my smiling best friend. “Still keeping the name a secret?”

  She shrugs. “I just thought it’d be more fun this way. But I think Ben blabbed the name to Luke a few weeks ago so if you want to know, I’ll tell you.” I stand and her smile fades to a frown. “Oh, and he’s definitely going to be there on Saturday.”

  I sigh in annoyance. “Leave it to my brother to want a co-ed baby shower. What the hell are the guys going to do at that thing anyway? Pass around onesies?”

  Mia laughs and grabs her keys off my kitchen counter. “You know how Ben is. He’s insistent on not missing anything involving this baby, and he thinks everyone’s as excited about it as he is.” She turns to me, giving me a weak smile. “Are you going to be okay being around Luke?”

  “I’ll be fine as long as I don’t see him getting his dick sucked. That isn’t one of the baby games we’re playing, is it?” I sit on the arm of the couch, clasping my hands in my lap. I wouldn’t put getting freaky with some random chick at a baby shower past Luke. But I swear to Christ, if I see it, I’m punching him right in his jewels.

  She twirls her keys on her finger, shaking her head with a grin. “No, smart ass, it isn’t.” Stopping with her hand on the front door, she turns back to me. “His name’s Chase. Chase Kelly.”

  The tension leaves my body at the sound of my soon-to-make-an-appearance nephew’s name. I hold a thumbs up out in front of me. “I love it. And I know my brother picked it.” She furrows her brow in confusion, her free hand now rubbing her belly. “Chase Utley. The baseball player. Ben loves the Phillies.”

  “Oh my God. No wonder that name came flying out of his mouth when we found out it was a boy,” she says. “Humph. What am I going to do with him?”

  “Oh, I’m sure you and those monstrous titties can come up with something,” I tease, motioning towards her chest.

  She sticks her tongue out in disgust. “Ugh. I hate that word.”

  “Titties? You would. What does Ben call them?”

  “Tits. I can do tits. It’s more… sophisticated sounding.”

  I throw my head back with a laugh. “Sophisticated? I just seriously pictured them wearing a bowtie and a monocle.”

  “And they probably have a British accent,” she adds with a chuckle before opening my door. “All right, I gotta go. You’re coming early on Saturday to help set up, right?”

  “Yup. And I’m bringing the booze. I’m getting tanked at that shower.” She shoots me a stern warning look and I smirk. “Kidding. I’ll see ya.”

  “Later.”

  I get up and lock the door after she closes it behind her, watching out the tiny window as my best friend waddles to her car. Yes, she is waddling now, and it really is adorable to watch. Mia has rocked this pregnancy, making it look better than anyone I’ve ever seen. And it’s been relatively easy for her up until now. She’s hardly had any morning sickness, and had been able to wear most of her regular clothes up until a couple of months ago. That was when she really started to pop out. But unfortunately for me, every time I see her and that belly, my thoughts always wander to last summer with Luke.

  Which sucks. Because I hate thinking about him.

  I would’ve had the baby by now if I had actually been pregnant. And I’d most likely be raising it on my own. Which is another reason why I don’t understand his presence at the shower this weekend. Why the hell would a guy who doesn’t want kids of his own attend a baby shower? I don’t care if he is my brother’s best friend. Shouldn’t he want to bail on a party that focuses on the miracle of life? The one that he never wants to experience?

  Asshole. He’s probably just attending to annoy me.

  And who the hell had the brilliant idea of making it a pool party baby shower? I know it wasn’t Mia. She refuses to wear a bathing suit right now, even if it is a thousand degrees outside. So, not only am I going to have to endure Luke Evans’ presence during this two hour ordeal, but I’m also going to be struggling with the task of not staring at his glorious body in a bathing suit.

  Shirtless.

  Tanned.

  All those tattoos.

  Sweet baby Jesus. He’s impossible to ignore when he’s half naked.

  I clamp my eyes shut and picture it, feeling the familiar tingling sensation tickling between my legs.

  Fuck this. I need a distraction.

&nb
sp; I walk over to my desk and boot up my laptop, logging onto Ignite. It’s been a day since I checked for any messages and I’m praying to God that there is a new one. I will definitely be fingering myself in the next thirty minutes, but if it’s to Luke’s face, cock, mouth, or anything else involving him, I’ll be angry and annoyed doing it.

  The screen loads and my inbox envelope blinks the bright green color I was hoping to see. I click on it and open up the message box.

  TylerTripp has left you a note.

  TylerTripp: Hey there, TK12. My name’s Tyler. I’m twenty-seven years old, living in White Hall, Alabama, and I don’t wear a uniform. You’re really pretty and I like how honest you are in your profile. I’m not looking for a one-night stand either. If some lucky guy hasn’t already scooped you up, send me a message. I’d love to chat.

  I click on his picture to blow it up and am stunned by the hot face that fills my screen. “Sweet Lord. You are delicious.” And he’s in White Hall, which is only thirty minutes away, so that’s totally doable. I quickly scan his profile, noting some interests. Coffee drinker. Soccer player. Likes to surf. I click on the respond tab and begin typing.

  TK12: Hi, Tyler. I’m Tessa Kelly. No lucky guy has scooped me up just yet. To be perfectly honest, I haven’t had much luck on here. Glad to hear you don’t wear a uniform. What do you do?

  The little bubbles appear in the window as I chew on my thumb nail and wait for his response.

  TylerTripp: Tessa. I like that name. It’s beautiful, like you. I’m a bartender at a local pub in town. It’s easy money, and luckily for me, doesn’t require a uniform. What about you?

  I calm my blushing cheeks as I respond. What girl doesn’t like to be called beautiful? It’s nice to hear, considering Luke never once said it. Shit. Don’t think about Luke.

  TK12: I’m a medical transcriptionist. It’s kind of boring, but I get to work from home and set my own hours. So I’m not complaining.

  TylerTripp: That’s cool. I’m surprised you’re having to find dates on Ignite. But I gotta say, I’m really fucking happy that you are.

  TK12: I’ve sort of exercised all my options. My friend’s aunt had success on here so I thought I’d give it a shot. And I’m glad I did. :)

  TylerTripp: I hope you’re referring to me.

  God. Isn’t flirting the best? Especially with someone who looks like Jax from Sons of Anarchy. Seriously. This guy is insanely hot. Or his picture is, at least.

  TK12: Maybe I am.

  TylerTripp: Go out with me.

  I stare at his command, because that’s exactly how he worded it, and there’s no hesitation in my response. I want this. I need this.

  TK12: Okay. What did you have in mind?

  TylerTripp: I’m working this weekend but I’m free next Saturday night.

  TK12: Sounds perfect. There’s this bonfire that I was going to go to. It’s a lot of fun. Wanna do that?

  TylerTripp: That. And possibly more?

  Yes. Sweet Jesus, YES. More. I need more. At least one orgasm. I’m not greedy.

  TK12: Absolutely. Here’s my cell # 842-555-6997.

  I stare at the screen, waiting for the bubbles to appear. But they don’t. And then his name disappears from the chat as if he’s logged off.

  “What the hell? Really?”

  This guy asks me out, and then bails mid-conversation? Who does that? Well, awesome. Now I’m horny and even more irritated. Not a good combination for me. I log off Ignite and close my laptop. Just as I’m about to head to my bedroom to handle business, my phone beeps somewhere in my apartment.

  Shit. Where did I put it?

  I look around the kitchen, scanning the countertop and even looking behind my electrical appliances. I’m one to toss my phone just about anywhere and completely forget about it. When I come up with nothing, I move to the couch and stick my hand between the sofa cushions. Nothing. It beeps again, coming from the direction of the kitchen that I just ruled out. And then I remember grabbing a water bottle just before Mia arrived. I open the fridge, and sitting on the shelf next to the milk is my phone.

  Really, Tessa?

  I look at my screen and see a text message from a number I don’t recognize.

  Unknown: Hey, it’s Tyler. Just wanted to make sure you didn’t give me a fake number. I’ve had that happen.

  I lick my lips and walk over to the couch, plopping down with my head at one end and my feet at the other. I type my response with a nervous energy after I add his number to my contacts list.

  Me: I wouldn’t fake number you. Unless you told me you liked to fuck animals or something weird.

  Tyler: Jesus Christ. You’re something else. I prefer to fuck women, so I think you can rest easy there. Listen, I’ve had some shitty experiences on Ignite. People aren’t always honest, and a lot of them use photos that are either not really who they are or are so old that they don’t even resemble that person anymore. I’m not trying to be a dick, but do you think you could take a picture of yourself and text it to me? I’ll do the same.

  Hmm. I guess he has a point. I hadn’t even considered the possibility of him not looking like his profile picture. But I guess it’s possible. I hold my phone above me and take a picture, liking the flirty smile I give him, and attach it to my message.

  Me: Here you go. Is this proof enough?

  My phone beeps with a file attachment and I open it. He’s smiling, his shaggy blond hair hanging in his eyes, and it’s definitely the guy in his profile picture. Thank fucking God.

  Tyler: Christ, you are crazy beautiful. Are you lying on your couch?

  Me: Yes.

  Tyler: This is what it would look like if I were hovering over you. Do you have any idea how fucking hot this picture is?

  Holy shit. Is this guy trying to sext with me? I am totally down for that if he is. This is way better than getting off on a guy I don’t want to think about.

  Me: Tell me.

  I grip my phone in my left hand and slip my right down the front of my shorts. Wetness coats my fingers.

  Tyler: You want to know how hard your picture made me? How thick my cock feels right now in my hand?

  Holy shit. Yes. Please.

  It takes a great effort to type with just the thumb of my left hand, but I manage. There’s no way in hell I’m stopping now.

  Me: Yes. I was going to get off anyway. Might as well do it with you.

  I moan as my finger slides over my clit.

  Tyler: You’re a dirty girl, aren’t you? Wanting a stranger to get you off. Touch yourself like I would. Rub your clit with your thumb and put two fingers inside that pussy I want to fuck.

  “Oh God, yes.”

  Tyler: Are you doing it?

  Me: Yes. Please keep going.

  This isn’t going to take long. Not with this apparent master of sexting. I stare at his words and read them over and over while I feel myself tightening around my fingers.

  Tyler: Do you feel how wet I make you? Spread those legs for me. Finger yourself deep and pretend it’s my cock.

  I nearly drop my phone as I arch off the couch and do as he commands. It's only his face in my head. His fingers in my pussy. And his words getting me to the edge.

  Tyler: I want to feel you come. On my hand. On my dick. In my mouth. Do it. Come all over those fingers and suck on them like I would.

  “Tyler,” I whisper as I come hard, my legs shaking as they fall open even wider. And I do it. I slip my fingers into my mouth as if he were here with me. Demanding it. Needing it.

  This is the hottest solo session I’ve ever had.

  Me: Wow. You’re going to be fun next weekend.

  Tyler: That was fucking hot. I can’t wait to actually watch your beautiful face when you come for me. Gotta go clean myself up. Thanks for that.

  I slap my hand over my mouth and squeal. He came with me. The thought of him jerking off hadn’t even entered my mind. But now, it’s all I can think about. He got off on the idea of me touching myself. How fucking
hot is that? Now I have a new face to occupy my fantasies, and a chat that I can save for later use.

  Luke Evans, you’re no longer needed.

  Tessa Kelly is a man-eater.

  She’s like medusa, but without the whole “freezing to stone” bit. Because that’s not her style. That’s not painful enough for her. She’d much rather draw you in with her blinding beauty, and then rip your heart out and eat it in front of you. And then she’ll stand over you and watch you slowly die at her feet.

  Cold.

  Heartless.

  Fucking ruthless.

  This should be enough to make me not want her. To make me not think about her every second of the fucking day. And if her Queen Bitch attitude wasn’t enough of a reason to hate her, the fact that she destroyed me a year ago should be. But there’s one major problem.

  I have a cock.

  And he wants Tessa. He knows what it’s like to be with her. He’s had a taste of her, and no other pussy is good enough. Believe me, I’ve given him options. First, there was Brandie, who I wasted no time in satisfying my needs with. Or, at least tried to satisfy my needs with. Maybe it was a fucked up move to bring her to that concert for the sole purpose of making Tessa jealous, but I didn’t give a shit. I wanted to hurt her, after what she did to me—dumping my ass out of nowhere and not giving me a fucking reason.

  You don’t want this anymore? Fine. You need more than what I can give you? Whatever. I didn’t care what the reason was; I just needed one. But she wouldn’t talk to me. She wouldn’t give me anything. And then I find out she broke up with me thinking she was pregnant with my baby.

  Fuck her. She keeps something like that from me? I had a right to know.

  Her reasoning behind the break-up, using my words to her as an excuse, was complete bullshit. How the fuck was I supposed to know she was fishing around because she thought she was pregnant? Tessa and I never put labels on what we were. And I liked that. I didn’t need anything other than what she was giving me, and I don’t need anyone getting too close. Except for Ben, but that shit’s different. He’s my partner. We have to trust each other completely, and you can’t trust someone if they keep you at a distance. I’d risk my life for him, but that is my choice. And it’s a fucking selfish one. He’s my best friend, and I don’t want to miss him. I don’t want to miss anyone. So I don’t let anyone else in. I can’t. I saw what it did to my dad, and that’s not happening to me.