"Oh God, Alex, dinna stop. Please dinna. Alex! Alex, I need ye harder. I'm so close. God, Alex, yes!"
It was enough to cause another surge of pleasure for Alex, so he quickly pulled from her before he found his second release in as many minutes.
Bridget whimpered at the loss. Not done, she panted and writhed. Alex entered her a third time and felt the spasms deep inside her as she climaxed again. She continued to rock against him, her head sagging to his shoulders as he felt her inner spasms grip him once more. He felt his cock twitch and a mild sense of release passed over him, but he did not think he spilled any of his seed. Spent, she went limp in his arms. He twisted so his back was against the wall and sank to the ground with them still joined. He tilted his head back against the wall as he sucked in air to calm his racing heart and mind.
Bluidy hell. I just fucked her against a stone wall, and I dinna regret it at all. She's barely more than a virgin, and I took her harder than any wench I've been with. I dinna understand what is about her, but dear God, I would do just about aught she asked at this moment. It hasnae ever been like that before.
He felt Brighde quiver in his arms as he held her tightly against him, and he knew nothing could have made him let go at that moment.
Brighde felt like she was floating with her fatigued muscles still trembling. She thought their lovemaking the night before had been intense, but she never imagined that her emotions and physical need for another person could be so fervent. She vacillated between peace and belonging, and fear of being taken away by her father or de Soules. She wanted desperately to be able to accept a future with Alex, but her fear of being found had become nearly irrational. The more deeply in love she fell with Alex, the more compelled she felt to leave. She knew she had to make a choice because Alex would not allow her to leave alone, and she no longer wanted Alex to take her to Iona. She did not want to enter a convent, nor had she ever really, and she knew it would devastate Alex to make him take her. She predicted he would not be pleased with the choice she would make once they were back at the castle, but it was the best she could do.
"Mo chridhe, I havenae ever experienced aught like that before. I dinna ken what to say. I've never wanted anyone the way I do you." Alex paused to press a gentle kiss to her temple. "I didna ask last night but rather told ye that we are going back to Dunbeath. I shouldnae have done that. I shouldnae have taken away yer choice. Will ye come back to Dunbeath with me?"
Brighde leaned back to look at him. He had called her his heart. He called her his darling and his sweetheart numerous times, but this was the first time he ever made mention that his heart was truly involved. She relished it until her stomach seized.
"I'll come back. I never should have run, but I felt trapped by what I heard and what I've already worried about."
"Ye didna have to do this alone."
"I ken, but I've had to make choices to protect maself for so long, it is hard to release that control."
"Ye dinna have to protect me, but I ken you feel you have to. It's much the same for me, but we dinna have to be at cross-purposes aboot this. I want a partner nae an adversary."
Brighde knew Alex had a different plan for their future than she did, but she would not ruin this moment or the ride home with an argument or by ignoring one another.
Home. When did I start thinking of it as home? Ages ago, ye dolt and ye ken it. Ye're nae fooling Alex or yourself. Dunbeath is ma home. I need to accept it and stop trying to fight what fate decided long ago.
They rose, and Alex helped Brighde dress. He draped the spare plaid around her shoulders, and she held it closed at her throat. He had already saddled the horse. He decided the fish could wait until the noon meal and instead pulled out more dried beef. Brighde tried not to grimace, but she must have failed because Alex chuckled.
"I want to get underway before too much of the morning slides away."
Brighde leaned to look around his shoulder. The sun had just come up. She looked back at him and cocked an eyebrow.
"Fair-weather dinna wait for anyone. I ken I dinna want to travel in the rain. Do ye?"
Brighde stepped up to the horse and lifted her foot to the stirrup. Before she could hoist herself up, she felt herself being tossed into the saddle. She had just enough time to right herself before Alex was seated behind her. His strong thighs pressed against her legs, and he wrapped one arm around her waist. His thumb stroked lazy lines on the underside of her breast while the other held the rains. He spurred Noamh forward into a trot and then a canter. He seemed to have no trouble determining which direction to go. Brighde fully appreciated just how disoriented she would have been if she had tried to set off on her own.
They rode in silence as the sun rose higher into the sky. Eventually, Alex began to point out various landmarks that Brighde had not seen the night before. He explained that he and his siblings, including Mairghread, would come to this area to camp underneath the stars as children. For the boys, it had been survival training, but for Mairghread, it had been a refusal to be left behind or outdone. Brighde found herself longing to reconnect properly with Mairghread. There was so much from each other’s lives that they missed during the years they had not seen each other. Between Mairghread and Siùsan, she finally felt like she had friends and a place where she was wanted and fit in. It was so unlike her father’s home that at times she found herself waiting for the rug to be pulled out from beneath her.
I keep waiting for something to go wrong, but the only thing that has gone wrong is ma own foolishness. I have been so worried about everything from the way the wind blows to what people think that I am missing what is clearly just beyond ma nose. I am taking for granted friendship that is being offered up freely and a mon who would devote himself to me. I canna keep on this way. I maynae be in a position to truly be Alex’s wife, but I dinna have to run from him either.
Brighde felt the peace of mind settle over her as she reconfirmed the choice she made when she agreed to return to the keep with Alex. More relaxed, she was able to enjoy the long ride held securely in place by Alex.
They stopped for a noon meal, and Brighde surprised Alex with her ability to prepare and cook the fish over an open fire. He knew she spent a fair amount of time in the kitchens, and her skills were praised, but cooking over a campfire was not the same.
“I clearly didna starve entirely while I journeyed north. I did keep the wolf from the door, and it wasna just by foraging or nabbing things from local farmers. I would build a fire when there was enough light that the smoke would not show. Then I cooked and ate as quickly as I could. I also picked places where there was enough dirt that I could cover the hot embers and wipe away the fire ring.”
“Ye were wise to do this. How did ye learn how to travel without leaving tracks? Was it just obvious to ye, or did someone teach ye?”
“As a young lass, I showed interest when I traveled with ma grandparents. Ma grandfather was always careful to leave as little a trace that we stayed overnight anywhere as he could, and he made sure his men cleared their tracks before we moved on. The Campbells are not always a well-liked clan, so Grandda was extra cautious when he traveled with his family. He wanted naught to happen to me or Grandmama. As I grew older, I paid more attention, and his men showed me different tricks. When Grandda discovered ma interest, instead of scolding me, he made a point of taking me out to the woods near the keep teaching me all that he could. When I ran from ma father the first time, I was too panicked to remember what I had been taught. I didna be careful enough and made it too easy to be tracked. When I ran from him and de Soules, I kenned ma life was truly in danger. I didna have the luxury of being careless. I was ever vigilant. It was exhausting beyond just the physical strain of the travel, but it is what kept me alive. Neither ma father and de Soules nor any lawless men found me.”
At the thought of Brighde running into any criminals who had no clan or alliance, usually ones banned from their clans, his arm tightened around her. She ran a soothing hand al
ong his forearm and covered his hand with her own. Alex relaxed only slightly. He would not say anything because he knew she understood his feelings. He just held on a little tighter for a little longer.
By midafternoon, they rode into the bailey. Brighde was nervous about how she would be received after she caused such a disturbance. She knew that Mairghread and Siùsan probably were looking for her, and one of Alex’s brothers probably alerted him. Laird Sinclair must have worried about his son tearing off into the night alone and with few supplies.
When Alex lifted her from the saddle, she angled herself slightly behind him. He reached an arm backward and wrapped it around her waist.
“Dinna fash,” he whispered.
She had no time to respond before Siùsan and Mairghread ran down the steps from the keep and across the bailey. Each of them holding their skirts at a nearly indiscreet height to make it easier for them. They pulled Brighde from behind Alex and engulfed her in a hug. They both ran their hands over her as they gabbled next her ears. She could not make out what they said, but she felt their concern in their ministrations.
Before Alex could say anything, his sister and sister-by-marriage whisked Brighde into the keep. She looked over her shoulder for a long moment before she had to focus on the steps in front of her.
“What is it about our wayward women, brother?” Callum clapped him on the back and pulled him into a hug. The brothers had tussled for years and probably always would, but their love for one another ran deep, and they were never embarrassed to demonstrate it. “I ken it isnae about the chase either because I have Siùsan now, and I still canna get enough of her.”
“Aye, and that’s why she already has her head over a chamber pot every morn.” Alex laughed.
Callum simply shrugged with an unrepentant look on his face.
“So ye found her. How far had she gotten? It’s midafternoon already, and ye are just getting back.”
“She almost reached Ben Morven. It was dumping buckets by the time I found her. We sheltered in the cave.”
“That isnae nearly a day’s ride from here. Ye should have been back closer to the nooning. Ye didna get lost, so why did it take so long? Get a late start?” Tavish nudged him as he came up to his two older brothers. He inserted himself into any and every conversation that struck his fancy.
“Nay. We didna get a late start,” Alex could not help but blush slightly, “I just didna feel the need to rush back once I kenned she was safe. I showed her around our land a bit.”
“Does she ken ye took the scenic way home just to keep her to yerself a while longer?”
“And why are ye blushing, brother?” Magnus now joined in.
“I dinna blush. The sun has been out all day, and I am just a little warm.”
“Dinna give us that shite. Ye ken nae one of us is going to believe that.” Callum stepped in front of his brother and turned to look him in the eye.
“I think ye did more once ye found her than ye ken to admit. What say ye?”
“Little brother, I say ye keep yer neb out of ma business. It isnae any of yer concern.” He purposely tried to distract Tavish by hitting on a sore spot for him. He truly was only a hairsbreadth shorter than his brothers, but Alex and Callum had always taken advantage of it, especially as he grew to be barrel-chested like their father and easily able to challenge either or both of them.
“Dinna skirt the issue, Alex. Ye arenae telling us all, and ye would be better off telling us the truth than leaving our imaginations to make up the rest,” Magnus grinned wolfishly. The largest of all the brothers in height and width, Alex knew that Magnus was fierce in battle, but he was also a gentle giant who was giving his brother a fair warning hidden in jest.
Alex sighed and ran his hand through his hair. He looked out towards where he knew the beach was and his favorite escape. He longed to be there now. While he was with Brighde, he basked in the afterglow of their couplings, but now, standing in the bailey with his brothers, he was ashamed of his actions. He took what was not his to have, at least not yet. He dishonored them both and did not want Brighde to think when he offered for her, it was done out of obligation.
Alex looked over at his brothers and hung his head shaking it.
“Dinna make me say it aloud,” he said quietly. “I dishonored us both.”
His brothers wisely stayed quiet until he entered the keep. Then they looked at one another.
“Looks like Siùsan is going to win that wager. It’ll be at least a moon before he gets her to the kirk.”
“That may be true, but I just hope she doesnae break him in the process.”
The brothers sobered as they looked at the door that had just closed behind him.
~~~
Brighde let the two women lead her up to Alex’s chamber where a steaming bath was already awaiting her. She marveled at how it could already be full.
“The watch announced ye approach when ye were spotted coming over the last rise,” Mairghread explained as she helped unlace Brighde’s gown while Siùsan gathered oils and soaps for her. Brighde’s eyes traveled to Alex’s bed, and her stomach knotted. While she slept there ever since she arrived, she knew Alex would never join her there. Eventually, she would have to relinquish it because she knew Alex reserved it for his wife. He would never share that bed with anyone who he was not wed to. She turned back to the bath and found the two other women watching her. She shook her head slightly and stepped into the tub. She sank into the hot water and bubbles allowing herself to drift away. Mairghread and Siùsan both slipped out of the chamber and left her to her thoughts.
Brighde soaked until the water cooled enough for her to start to feel chilled. She finally dragged herself from the tub when her fingers and toes had completely shriveled, and she began to shiver. She dried herself off, and an overpowering sense of fatigue settled upon her. She toweled her hair dry and ran a comb through the tangles. She slipped a chemise on and slid into bed. She resolved this was the last time she would sleep in this bed. Before the end of the evening meal, she would be moved into a guest chamber. Her last thoughts before drifting off were that she would miss his scent that lingered permanently in the room despite how long she occupied it.
.
Chapter Eighteen
B
righde awoke to a soft knocking at her door. She stretched as she tried to understand what disturbed her sleep. She heard the knock again and flung back the covers to pad over to the door. Before she could ask, she heard Alex call out to her quietly. She opened the door just enough for her to be able to stand behind it and still look out.
“Lass, the evening meal approaches, and I thought ye might be ready for something a bit more substantial than dried beef and thin fish,” Alex said with a smile. Brighde took in the crinkles around his eyes when he laughed and how he had bathed and shaved. She was never sure which she liked better, Alex with stubble or smoothly shaven. She decided that she would happily take either or both.
“I will be down shortly. Thank ye for waking me.”
Alex looked like he was about to say something but thought better of it. He just nodded and turned away. Brighde watched as he walked down the passageway before she closed the door. She hurried to get dressed and arrived in the Great Hall just as the rest of the Sinclair family stepped onto the dais. She slid into her spot next to Alex. Once the blessing was said, Alex began to fill their trencher placing far more food on her side than she could ever eat.
“Alex, I wasna gone that long. I canna eat that much. Ye must have some too. I dinna want it to go to waste, but I’ll be ill if I try to eat all that.”
Brighde discreetly pushed some of the food into the center of the trencher and onto Alex’s side. He then picked the choicest pieces and moved those to her side while moving the rest to his. She tilted her head up to look sideways at him, but he looked unrepentant and simply shrugged.
“Eat what ye can, and what ye dinna, I will.” With that, Alex began to eat his meal. Brighde looked back at the tr
encher and found a few pieces of food that she could manage. Sitting next to Alex again was fraying her nerves. Between her attraction to him and her knowledge of what they had done the night before and that very morning, she was sure that everyone around them could sense that she was no longer a virgin. She had just taken a rather large gulp of wine when Laird Sinclair’s words nearly made her choke.
“So, lass, ye have finally agreed to make Dunbeath yer home. Ye plan to make this permanent, dinna ye? I canna think of aught better for this family.”
Short of announcing a betrothal right there and then, there was no doubt Laird Sinclair meant she would be marrying into the family, that she would be marrying Alex. She tried to swallow without any of the wine dribbling from her mouth. She felt Alex’s hand rest on her thigh before giving it a gentle squeeze. She knew he meant to reassure her, but it did everything but. She finally managed to swallow several times before she responded.
“Aye. I hope to make ma home here at Dunbeath for as long as I can.” Her noncommittal answer did not slip past Alex. He pulled his hand from her leg, and she could feel his eyes boring into her. She refused to look at him, and instead, she looked back at Laird Sinclair. “Thank ye, ma laird, for the ongoing gracious hospitality. Ye have made me feel welcome and at home.”
She purposely avoided saying anything about being part of the family. Her eyes skidded to each member at the table and could see the varying levels of confusion, disbelief, and sympathy. Sympathy that was clearly directed towards Alex and not her. She dared to look at Alex and caught the stricken look on his face before a mask of stone dropped into place. It was only the slightest of motions, mostly likely undetectable by anyone else, but Brighde felt him shift away from her.
For the rest of the meal, Alex ate in silence only speaking when spoken to. His tone was polite and even friendly, but his answers were short and to the point. He minced no words and initiated no conversations. Brighde felt wretched and had hoped she could speak with Alex and offer her solution first, but that opportunity had come and gone. She was not going to lie to Laird Sinclair or his family. At least not anymore.
His Highland Prize (The Clan Sinclair Book 3) Page 20