This was certainly not part of the plan.
Dad is going to lose his shit.
“Does he know?”
Mom shakes her head. “I haven’t told anyone. But this is going to be hot gossip, it’ll get back to him sooner than you think.”
I see the same fear and trepidation flicker through her eyes as I feel.
“Shane, no matter what…” She reaches over, takes my hand and squeezes. “I’m here to support you. I’ll do as much or as little as you need.”
Tears burn my eyes as I stare at her.
“I’m not sure I’m ready for this,” I admit, emotion clogging my throat.
“Oh baby.” She gets up from her stool and comes to stand in front of me, wrapping her arms around me. “I’ll let you in on a secret. No one is ever ready for a baby. Even those couples who appear to have it all together. They’re just as scared. It’s a huge unknown and even after having one, or two, the next is always different. It’s the most challenging, but equally the most incredible, most rewarding thing you’ll do in your life.”
“But school, college…”
“We’ll figure it out,” she says, pulling back and cupping my cheek in her palm.
“I can’t believe you’re not angry,” I mutter, pulling my cup closer before lifting it to my lips.
“What’s the point? The deed has been done, quite literally.” I groan as my face heats. I really don’t need Mom thinking about what I’ve been up to with Chelsea, although she is sporting the evidence of our interactions, or will be very soon. “Plus, I think your dad might handle that all by himself.”
Dread sits heavy in my stomach.
“I’ll talk to him, okay. Soften the blow, if I can. But he’s not going to be happy.”
“Mom,” I sigh. “I really hate him. I don’t want anything he wants for me and I’m exhausted listening to it all.”
“I know, baby.”
“How do you put up with it?”
She shrugs, a sad look passing over her face.
“Are you happy?”
“This isn’t meant to be about me.”
“If you’re not happy, you need to do something about it.” She swallows nervously and I wonder just how close to home I’ve just hit. “Don’t worry about us, we’re all old enough to deal with whatever you need to do.”
She looks up at me, tears filling her eyes. “When did you get so wise?”
“About the time I learned I was going to be a father maybe. Fuck,” I bark. “How is this happening?”
She squeezes my hand again. “Come home, please. Your dad’s out of town until Saturday, maybe even Sunday. It’ll be safe. You can at least be in our own space while you try to get your head around all of this.”
The thought of spending another night of Zayn’s couch doesn’t fill me with joy.
“Okay. But if he goes off the second he’s back. I’m gone again. I don’t need his bullshit right now.” Or ever, but I don’t add that bit.
“That’s fair. Go and get your stuff.”
I don’t have any stuff but I go back to the den just to make sure I haven’t left anything before following her out of the house and driving back home.
“Are you hungry?” she asks when we step through the front door.
“Yeah.”
“Pancakes?”
“That would be awesome. I need to take a shower really quick though.”
“Please do, you smell like stale whiskey.”
“Thanks,” I say with a laugh.
I have a quick shower before heading back down to the kitchen, the smell of the sweet pancakes and salty bacon assaults my nose and makes my stomach growl. When did I last eat?
“So what are you going to do now? You can’t hide forever.”
I shrug.
“Shane, it’s only Wednesday. You really—”
I fix her with a look that has her words faltering. If I ever deserved a few days off, then now is the time.
“Okay, fine. But can you do something for me?”
“What is it?”
“Can you talk to her?”
“I’ll consider it, if you promise to do something for me.”
“Go on.”
“Think about your future too.”
She sighs. “Deal. I guess it’s time for both of us to grow up a little.”
“Everything will work out,” I say, my voice full of confidence that I don’t really feel.
She smiles weakly at me before plating up our breakfast and we fall into a comfortable silence, both too lost in thoughts about our futures and what they might hold.
Eventually, I leave her and escape to the peace of my room. I know she’s right. I need to see Chelsea. We certainly can’t leave things like we did in that classroom. We’re connected now whether we like it or not.
Mom gives me the space I need for a few hours before she pokes her head around the door, asking if it’s okay for her to enter. I nod at her and when she pushes the door open, I find she’s carrying a fresh mug of coffee and has a bag of chips in her hand.
“Thought you might need something.”
“Thank you,” I say, sitting myself up from where I was lying on my bed staring up at the ceiling.
“I was just thinking, isn’t it winter formal on Friday?”
“Yeah and…”
“No reason,” she says with an innocent shrug before backing out of the room.
34
Chelsea
I don’t pay any attention to the other diners around us until I stand and turn to leave. It’s then that I lock eyes with a very familiar pair that I never want to see again.
My blood runs cold, just like it did when I looked into his car and found those icy blues staring back at me.
He pushes to stand as I start to run.
“Wait, please,” he calls, but there’s no way I’m sticking around to hear anything that asshole has to say, no matter how politely he asks me.
I don’t realize that Luca isn’t behind me until I’m outside of the diner and I risk a look back.
The only person who’s there is him. He’s standing in the doorway with his brows pulled together.
“W-what do you want from me?” I stutter, trying like hell not to show him that I’m scared and failing miserably.
“Please, Rose. I just want to talk to you.”
“I’m not Rose. You’ve got the wrong person,” I say, turning my back on him, hoping that Luca will appear at any moment and take me away before this gets out of hand.
“It’s you, I know it is.”
“Is everything okay?” Luca asks, finally emerging from behind the man. “Is this asshole giving you grief?”
“N-no, it’s fine. Can we just go, please?”
“Of course.” Luca looks between me and the guy, confusion written all over his face.
The second his car beeps to signal that it’s unlocked, I jump in and lock it once again behind me.
My chest heaves as my breaths rush past my lips in my panic.
“What the fuck was that? Who was he? Fuck, are you okay?” he asks when he notices that I’m on the verge of a panic attack.
I nod, focusing on my breathing until things start to return to normal. His concerned eyes never leave me though.
“Do I need to go and beat the shit out of him for something?”
I can’t help the laugh that falls from my lips. It’s probably the least of what that guy deserves.
He’s still looking at us from his place in the doorway of the diner, I don’t need to look up to know he’s there. I can feel his stare prickling my skin.
“It’s fine. It’s nothing.”
“I beg to fucking differ. You’re anything but fine.”
“It’s just a ghost from my past. One I hope to never see again.”
“Your past? You mean before Rosewood?”
“Yeah. Can you just take me home, please?”
“Of course.”
He starts the engine, and with the
guy’s eyes watching our every move, he pulls out of his space and onto the road.
I hold his eyes, I don’t want to, but I’d be lying if I said his insistence to see me, to talk to me, didn’t intrigue me.
Now my fear has subsided knowing that I’m safe in the car beside Luca, I see something else in his eyes. But before I get a chance to figure out what it is, we’ve turned the corner and he’s no longer in sight.
“Are you sure you’re okay?”
“Yeah.” My hands tremble in my lap and my heart is still galloping in my chest but I’m fine.
What I need is to be in the pool house with the outside world safely locked on the other side of the door.
We drive back to my house in silence. I can sense the million and one questions Luca has for me, but thankfully, he manages to keep them inside.
“What are you doing for the rest of the day?” he asks me when he’s brought the car to a stop on the driveway.
“Homework. What about you?”
“I should probably attempt to attend at least one of my classes today.”
“Luca,” I say on a sigh. “I said to come if you didn’t have class.”
Reaching over, he takes my hand in his. “You needed me, Chels. Shane needs me. There’s nowhere else I’d rather be.”
Emotion burns at the back of my eyes and I fight to blink the tears away.
“Oh no no. No crying, you know I can’t deal with that.”
I laugh at him as I tug his arm so I can give him an awkward car hug.
“I’ll see you soon, yeah?” I nod as I push the door open. “And if you need me, just call me. Any time.”
“Thank you, Luc. I really appreciate it.”
“You take good care of my niece or nephew.” He nods to my belly and butterflies take flight.
“I will. Thank you.” He salutes me before backing out of the driveway.
Panic hits me as he drives off and I realize I should have told him not to tell Shane that he’s seen me. I don’t want him going to find him and attempt to fight my battles for me. Not that I think for a second that he would listen to me. With a smile, I hurry to the front door and let myself in.
I end up spending the afternoon with Mom wrapping presents. It’s not exactly what I would have chosen to spend the rest of my day doing but I can’t deny that the mundane task does relax me somewhat.
“Are you planning on going back to school this week?” she asks as she adds another present to the perfectly wrapped pile beside her.
“I have no idea what I’m doing. I used to thrive on the attention but now, I just want to hide.”
“Understandable. I was just thinking that if you’re off tomorrow, we could go to the mall. You’re going to need new clothes soon and it might be nice to get you out of the house.”
I sit and think about her offer for a few seconds. “That sounds really good, I’d like that.”
“It’s a date then. Just make sure you touch base with your teachers and get the work you’re missing, young lady.”
“I will, I promise.”
It’s late by the time I get to do what I craved so badly earlier and lock myself in my pool house. Mom and I made homemade pizzas for when Dad got home from work and we sat and ate like a real family. It was nice. Exactly what I needed.
After promising to meet Mom in the morning for our day out, I head to my sanctuary and let out a sigh.
The stress from the last two days pulls my muscles tight, all I want to do is curl up in a ball once more and fall asleep.
I’d left my cell in my purse on silent and told myself time and time again throughout the day not to check it but once I’m alone, my restraint snaps and I pull it out and wake it up.
I keep my eyes shut for a beat, praying that he’ll have reached out, but there’s nothing. Well, not from him. There’s plenty from others.
I reply to Luca to thank him again for dropping everything for me this morning, and I also send an apology back to Rae for ignoring her all day when she’s just worried about me. She replies immediately saying that she understands and that she’s sorry for not coming to see me today, but they had forced family stuff after school. I get it, it’s fine. I don’t expect everyone to stop their lives because mine is falling apart.
I ignore everyone else, they’re just gossip hunting.
After pulling on Shane’s jersey once more, I climb into bed wishing that he’d turn up and pull me into his arms.
It never happens, and when I wake the next morning, I’m still alone.
Shopping with Mom is better than I expected it to be. I pick up some maternity clothes that I’m going to need before she drags me into a baby shop to start looking at things.
I’ll admit that I don’t know the first thing about looking after a baby, but I figure I’ve still got a bit of time to work it out and I hear people say all the time that it’s something that usually comes fairly naturally once the time comes, so I’m hoping that is the case.
She’s not happy about it, but I stop her from buying anything. Other than maternity clothes, I refuse to buy anything until after my next ultrasound. I think I’d like to find out the gender, and I really have no idea what Shane thinks about it, so until we’ve made that decision, hopefully together, I’ll refrain from any of the cute stuff that Mom waved under my nose in her attempt to sway me.
I need to think of him. I’ve already been through so much of this pregnancy without him being a part of it. I want to at least give him the chance to be there for everything that’s still to come, should he want to of course.
I’m still putting everything into my closet when there’s a knock at my pool house door later that afternoon.
With my heart in my throat, I once again run through to the living area in the hope it’s him, but just like yesterday morning, my hopes are dashed when I find Rae staring back at me.
“Hey,” I say, opening the door for her.
I never used to lock it, but since seeing him I’ve started being a little more cautious. He clearly wants something from me and a late-night visit like he used to give my birth mother is certainly not on the cards.
I shudder at the thought.
“Are you okay? All the color just drained from your face.”
“Yeah, yeah, I’m good. Especially now that I’ve seen this,” I say, my eyes widening at the sight of the box of donuts she has in her hand.
“You seemed to like them last time.”
“They’re donuts, who doesn’t like them?” I take the box, place them on the coffee table and immediately pull the lid off to make my selection.
“Was he in school today?” I mumble around a mouthful of sugary goodness in the hope she can’t make out the words. But when her lips curl up into a smile, I know she didn’t miss it.
“Nope.”
“And was everyone still talking about what a whore I am.”
“Pretty much.”
“Wow, don’t sugarcoat it, will you?”
“I can if you want, I just thought you’d prefer to hear the truth.”
I groan. “I would, I just equally don’t want to deal with it all.”
“There’s nothing to deal with where they’re concerned. They’re a bunch of gossips. Who cares what they think?”
“I know. I do know that. It’s just hard sometimes.”
“I heard someone taking bets on if it was Shane’s or not,” she admits quietly.
“They fucking what?”
“Kids are assholes. Just let them get on with it. So I’m assuming you haven’t heard from him then?”
I shake my head. “I’ve sent messages, but they’ve not even been read. I’ve seen his mom and brother though.”
“What did they have to say?”
“To be patient.”
“Helpful.”
“Patience isn’t really my specialty.”
“They’re right though. That must have been one hell of a shock to find out like that.” Guilt twists my stomach that I allowed it t
o happen. “He’ll come around. He’s a good guy and he’ll want to do right by you.”
“He has every reason not to.”
“Chels, that boy loves you. He’ll be back.”
“You think?”
“I know.”
I narrow my eyes at her. “What aren’t you telling me?”
“Nothing,” she says, raising her hands in surrender. “I know nothing.”
She leaves me after getting a message from Ethan to say he’s finished with the team.
I flick through the TV channels but not finding anything that captures my attention, I pull out a book I picked up this afternoon with Mom about what to expect from childbirth and having a newborn and take it to bed with me along with a hot chocolate. It’s not the kind of book I thought I’d be reading for a few years yet, but here we go.
When I wake the next morning, it’s with the book poking me in the arm and still open on a page I vaguely remember reading.
I’d turned my alarm off last night knowing that there was no way I was going to school again today, so when I look to my cell, I’m surprised to see how late it is.
I’ll go back next semester. It’ll have given them plenty of time to get over the drama, and hopefully someone else will have done something that takes the heat off me.
I still haven’t received a reply from Shane, but I send him another one anyway. I need him to know how much I miss him.
I get up, shower, do my hair, generally waste time because it’s not like I’ve got a lot to do today. I should get out and go for a run but the thought of seeing someone when I’m alone doesn’t sit right with me.
Eventually, I grab my laptop and get immersed in some work.
Mom pops in and out with food and drinks throughout the day to check on me, but other than that, I stay locked in my own little world, keeping everything and everyone else at bay.
That is until sometime after six o’clock.
Mom told me that dinner would be at seven so once I finished the assignment I’d been working on, I head to the bathroom to freshen up and get ready to meet them.
I’m just about to slip my shoes on when there’s a knock at the door.
Knowing that I’ve only been disappointed when my imagination has run away with me over the past couple of days, I don’t even bother hoping that it’s him because I know it’s not.
FIERCE: A High School Enemies to Lovers Romance (Rosewood High Book 4) Page 28