by E. L. Todd
I constantly felt his heart, needing to know it was still beating strongly. That vibration used to lull me to sleep every night. Now it was back, and I realized just how much I missed it.
We hadn’t spoken since yesterday on the doorstep. I told him I would marry him and we hadn’t said anything since. The only conversation we had was with our eyes.
“What changed your mind?” Hawke brought my hand to his lips and kissed my ring.
“Everything in your journal.”
He placed my hand on top of his heart and rested his hand there. “When I was going to propose, I was going to give you that journal with the ring inside—because you gave me your journal.”
“It was beautiful…”
“This is the last time,” he whispered. “I’m here forever. I’m not going to go anywhere ever again.”
I didn’t have any doubt. “I know.”
The softness in his eyes showed me how much that meant to him.
“We are forever.”
“And ever.” He pressed a kiss to my forehead and rested his face close to mine on the pillow.
I didn’t want to leave his place because it felt so right. I didn’t care about my apartment anymore. I never wanted to sleep in a bed other than his. All I wanted was to be there—all the time.
“Do you still want to get married in a field?” he whispered.
“Yes.” I’d always wanted something small and quiet. Marie’s wedding was beautiful, but a big party wasn’t my style.
“Are you busy tomorrow?”
“What?” The meaning in his words was unmistakable.
“I want to marry you now. You’ve been my other half all my life, even before I met you. I don’t want to wait any longer. I want to be husband and wife, to live together and spend every day together. I want forever. What do you say?”
It was rushed, spontaneous, and exciting. “Okay.”
He smiled for the first time. “Then we should get to work.”
***
Marie was sitting at her desk when I walked into her office. “Hey, girl. You want to get lunch?” She finished making a note on her iPad before she looked up at me.
“Actually, no.” I sat in the chair facing her. “I want to ask you something.”
“What’s up?”
“Will you be my maid of honor?”
Her eyes almost popped out of her head. “Whoa, what?” She jumped out of her seat. “Oh my god, Kyle proposed to you? This is so great—”
“Hawke did. And I said yes.”
She froze in place, taking in my declaration with a shocked expression. It took her several minutes to compose herself, to wrap her head around what I said. She stopped liking Hawke when he left me again, and her good opinion of him never returned. I figured she would try to talk me out of it, pushing for Kyle.
But she didn’t.
“Frankie, I would be honored.” She came around the desk and hugged me hard. “I’m so happy for you. I know Hawke…is the one.”
“He is.”
“You two will be just as happy as Axel and I.”
“I hope so.” I pulled away and couldn’t wipe the smile off my face.
“So, we’ll get to planning this weekend. I still have my wedding binder—”
“We’re getting married tomorrow.”
“What?” she blurted.
“We’re doing it in a field outside the city, just family.”
She put her hands on her hips as she tried to take this in. “That’s quick.” She glanced at my stomach.
“No baby, Marie. But we want to start our lives together.”
She eyed her watch on her wrist. “I think I can take off early today. We’ve got a lot of shit to do.”
***
I called Axel on the way to Yaya’s. “Hey, Axel—”
“Hawke already told me.” The smile in his voice told me his feelings about it. “Congratulations.”
“Yeah?” His approval meant a lot to me, although I would never admit it.
“Yeah. I know that guy loves you despite his stupidity.”
“He does.”
“I’m sure he’ll get it right this time. He gave me his permission to kick his ass if I need to.”
I couldn’t picture anyone kicking Hawke’s ass so it made me chuckle.
“But I doubt it’ll come to that.”
“It won’t.” I kept the emotion out of my voice before I spoke again. “Will you give me away?”
There was a long pause over the phone. Axel didn’t say anything, obviously keeping the tears out of his voice just the way I was. “Francesca…I would be honored.”
***
When I told Yaya the news, she didn’t seem the least bit surprised.
“’Bout time.”
“What?” I grabbed the box from the closet and pulled it out.
“Kyle was a fine young man but he’s not Hawke. We all know that.”
I was glad Yaya was on board. Despite what Hawke did, everyone seemed to forgive him quicker than I did. “Thanks, Yaya.” I pulled apart the tissue paper until I saw my mother’s wedding dress. It was laid out perfectly, ready for me to use the day I needed it. It was more perfect than I remember.
“It’ll be a little loose on you,” Yaya said. “But I can take care of that.”
I gathered the dress in my hands and felt the material. I knew if Mom were there she would be happy. She would love Hawke just as much as I did. “Thank you, Yaya.”
“You’re going to be the most beautiful bride ever.”
“Thanks…” Yaya would say that no matter what.
“No, really.” She patted me on the shoulder. “Even more beautiful than your mother on her day.”
***
Outside the city, we found a meadow with freshly mowed grass. There were yellow dandelions in the field, and the world was alive with the approach of spring. It was a cloudless day and the sun was warm on our skin.
I stood behind the wardrobe changer even though my gown was already fastened. Hawke was just a few feet away with everyone else. We gathered our family, Axel, Marie, Yaya, and Logan. That was all we needed.
Axel stood with me, wearing his suit and tie. “You look beautiful, sis.”
“Yeah?” I hadn’t even stepped out and I wanted to cry.
“Yeah.” He stared at my dress and kept a smile on his face, hiding his true emotion.
“How’s Hawke doing?”
“He’s the most excited guy I’ve ever seen.”
I gripped the bouquet of fresh flowers that Marie picked from the field. It was a mixture of grass and dandelions.
“Are you sure you want to do this?”
A question like that would normally suffocate me in doubt, especially after everything we’d been through. But all I felt was certainly. “Yes.”
He extended his arm to me. “Then let’s go.”
I hooked my arm through his and allowed him to guide me past the divider. There was no music other than the buzzing bees and the chirping birds. A slight breeze was on the wind, smelling of spring. Our feet crunched against the grass as we walked. I wore flats instead of heels because I knew it would be difficult to maneuver.
Everyone was just a few feet away, and when I looked up, I saw Hawke.
He stared at me intently, not a trace of a smile on his lips. He took a deep breath like the sight of my approach pained him with happiness. His eyes coated over, as if he feared his moment would never come to pass.
His eyes never left mine as he watched me come near. It was quiet enough to hear his breathing, which matched the rapid rate of my own. My long dress trailed behind me, slithering over the grass in an elegant way.
Axel walked me to Hawke and stopped before he handed me over. “Mom and Dad would be so proud of you, Francesca.”
My eyes never left Hawke’s. “They would be proud of both of us.”
Axel hugged me tightly, something that only happened once in a great while.
I hugged him back,
thankful I had such an amazing brother.
He took my hand and placed it in Hawke’s. “I know you’ll be good to one another.”
Hawke’s fingers immediately clamped around my hand, telling me he would never let me go for as long as we lived. He pulled me toward him gently, looking into my eyes like he never wanted to blink.
The pastor gave us a moment to stare at each other before he began the ceremony. “Today, we’re gathered here to witness the holy matrimony of Theodore Taylor and Francesca Gibbons…”
I tuned out everything he said because I was infatuated with Hawke’s appearance. Without saying a word, I could feel every emotion running through his body. Gratitude was the most prominent emotion, because I was giving him another chance to be my forever. He loved me, I was certain of that. He told me every day just by looking at me.
I’d never loved another man in my entire life and I never wanted to. Hawke was it, the only person I could fall so deeply for. My children would have his eyes and his good heart. And when our lives ended, we would still be together, drifting on the wind as bare souls. Never again would we be alone—we would always have each other.
“Hawke, do you take Francesca to be your lawfully wedded wife, in sickness and in health, till death parts you?”
Hawke interlocked our fingers, gripping them with a gentle pressure. “I do—for eternity.” He slipped the ring on my finger, returning it to the place where it would remain forever.
“Francesca, do you take Hawke to be your lawfully wedded husband, in sickness and in health, till death parts you?”
Nothing would ever part us again, not life or death. When the world ended and there was nothing left but rock and ash, we would still go on. He and I were connected in a spiritual way, in a godly way. Forever wasn’t long enough for the two of us. We would watch the world change, the universe expand indefinitely, and we would be forever tangled together as it happened—as two naked souls. “I do—for eternity.”
Epilogue
Hawke
“Daddy, you walk too slow.” Suzie pulled me forward as hard as she could, determined to get to the bakery as quickly as possible. Her pink dress was brand-new but once she got her hands on a pastry, it would be ruined.
“Sweetheart, I can’t walk any faster.” I held Hannah in one arm, knowing she was getting too big to be carried around anymore. The day Suzie became too old was a sad one for me. It only reminded me that my kids were getting bigger and older, and one day, they would leave and venture out on their own—my two little princesses.
“Come on.” She got to the bakery and yanked it open. “I want to see Mommy.”
I chuckled and walked in behind her, immediately combining with the loud crowd anxiously waiting for their muffins and pastries.
Suzie pushed past people and headed into the back kitchen, knowing exactly where to go.
I followed behind her, keeping a close eye on her just in case she knocked into someone. “Suzie, slow down.”
Suzie ignored me, like always.
We got to the back where Francesca was working. An apron was tied around her waist and she had flour smeared across both of her cheeks. It seemed like she was the victim of a flour explosion. But she still looked cute—like always.
“Mommy!” Suzie ran into her and hugged her around the waist. “Happy birthday!”
Francesca was startled by Suzie’s sudden appearance, but when she realized who it was, her face lit up in joy. “Awe. Thank you, sweetheart.” She kneeled down and hugged her hard, her happiness obvious in the curve of her lips. “What a nice surprise.”
“I got you something.” Suzie pulled a small box from her pocket.
“What’s this?” Francesca took it.
“Open it!”
Francesca opened the lid, and inside was a necklace the girls and I made for her. Three stone pendants were decorated with watercolors. Each one of us made one before we placed it on the chain. It wasn’t very pretty but I knew she would love it.
“We each made one,” Suzie explained. “Do you like it?”
Francesca’s eyes immediately watered. “Oh baby, I love it—so much.” She felt the necklace in her hand before she put it on, placing it over the locket she always wore. “It’s perfect.” Francesca hugged Suzie again.
“I made it too!” Hannah kicked her feet because she wanted me to put her down.
I set her on the ground and watched her move into Francesca next.
Francesca hugged both of our daughters at the same time. “Thank you, Hannah. You guys did a great job.”
“Happy birthday, Mommy.” Hannah touched the necklace like she expected the paint to be wet.
“It’s the best birthday ever.” Francesca released both of them and stared at them affectionately.
“It’s not even over yet,” Suzie said. “We still have the party tonight.”
“Party?” Francesca asked.
“Suzie.” It was supposed to be a surprise dinner, but of course, my kids were too excited to keep it in.
Suzie bowed her head in shame. “Sorry…”
Francesca chuckled. “It’s okay. Now I have something else to look forward to.”
Hannah climbed on the chair so she could see what was on the counter. “Ooh…jungle cookies.”
“Let me see.” Suzie approached the table and looked at the dough and cookie cutters. “Let’s make some so Mommy can take a break.”
“Good idea.” Hannah grabbed a cookie cutter of an elephant and shoved it into the dough.
Francesca knew they were going to make a mess but she let them be. She rose to her feet and looked at me, and like always, she stared at me like she couldn’t be more in love. Her eyes lit up in a special way—something only I got to witness. She strode toward me slowly, clearly wanting to touch me in a way that wasn’t appropriate in front of our two daughters.
I wanted to kiss her so hard her lips would be sore for a week. “I’m sorry Suzie ruined the surprise.”
“I don’t care. My birthday is already amazing.” She felt the necklace hanging from her throat.
My hands moved around her waist and I held her close to me. My forehead moved to hers and my entire body felt hot with fire. I loved my daughters but sometimes I wished they weren’t always around. I missed making love to Francesca in the back of the store. I’d taken her on that counter too many times to count. “I have a gift for you. But I’ll give it to you later.”
“Birthday sex?” she whispered.
“Well, yes. But something else as well.”
“Ooh…lucky me.”
I cupped her face and gave her a kiss. I wanted to keep it short but the second my mouth was on hers, I didn’t want to pull away. My lips wanted to remain glued to hers forever, making love to her mouth.
Francesca dug her fingers into my forearms, the heat burning inside her like it did with me. She breathed into my mouth, her desire bubbling like a pot of boiling water.
I found the strength to pull away before it became anything but PG. Our daughters weren’t paying attention to us but it was still inappropriate. “We’re having dinner with Axel and Marie when you get off work.”
“Awe. That sounds like fun.”
I pulled her harder into me so she could feel my hard-on. “Then you’ll be mine when we get home.”
“This is turning into the best birthday ever.”
“I’m glad you think so.” I kissed the corner of her mouth before I pulled away. I was losing my willpower. My wife drove me crazy. I made love to her every morning and every night but it wasn’t enough. “We’ll pick you up later.”
“Okay. I can’t wait.” She gave me a dark look, one that told me she wanted another kiss.
I didn’t trust myself at this point so I walked around her. “I’ll see you then. Love you.”
“Love you too.”
***
Jason and Calvin, Marie and Axel’s twins, played together at the end of the table with Suzie and Hannah. They had a bucket of soldier
s and a dinosaur set that kept them busy. It was difficult for us to go to a nice restaurant when our kids were so young—and loud.
I kept my arm over Francesca’s chair, my fingers grazing the bare skin of her shoulder.
“Having a good birthday?” Marie asked.
“Oh, it’s been the best.” Francesca touched the necklace the girls and I created. The house was turned in to a huge mess and it took me two hours to clean it up. “I have the best family.” Her hand moved to my thigh.
“I’m surprised you worked,” Axel said.
“I had to,” Francesca said. “We had too many orders going out. That place just gets busier and busier.”
“That sounds like a good thing—and a bad thing,” Marie said.
“I thought that other shop would slow things down,” Francesca said. “But it’s been the opposite.”
“Mo’ money, mo’ problems, right?” Axel said.
Marie rolled her eyes. “Don’t try to talk like a gangster.”
“You know you like it, shorty.” He kissed her hairline.
I turned to Francesca. “Can I give you my gift now? Before one of their famous fights erupts?”
“Please.” She turned to me with anxious eyes.
“Okay. It’s not physical.”
“That’s even better.” She couldn’t sit still with her excitement.
“Axel and Marie are taking the girls tonight and the rest of the weekend. You and I are leaving on a trip tomorrow morning.”
“Oh my god, where are we going?” Francesca loved traveling. It was one of her favorite things to do.
“We’re going to the Maldives,” I said. “The Four Seasons.”
“Really?” She shrieked too loudly then covered her mouth. “Whoops.”
I loved making her happy. It made my day. “It’ll be a nice getaway for us.” Lots of sex without the kids. “Happy birthday.”
She hugged me tightly then kissed me everywhere on my face. “Thank you. Thank you. I absolutely love it.”
“You’re welcome, Muffin.” I gave her a kiss on the mouth, feeling that constant spark between us.
“Have fun babysitting while I’m on vacation.” She stuck her tongue out at Marie and Axel.
“Brat,” Axel said. “We’ll turn your kids against you when you come back.”