by Jerry Cole
“I feel like I should be offended,” Basil replied, smiling despite himself. “I’m not, though.”
“Don’t be,” Trevor said. “I mean it in a good way. I’m proud of you.”
Trevor leaned on Basil’s shoulder and exhaled. Basil focused on his heartbeat, the way Trevor smelled, and the way it felt to just be there. Everything about being there was perfect. He turned and pressed his lips up against the top of Trevor’s head and took a deep shuddering breath. Trevor smelled like food, smoke, and Basil felt like he could have stayed there all day.
“You’re proud of me?” Basil said when the words finally sunk in. “Even though I’ve been such a cock to you?”
“Because you have been such a cock to me,” Trevor said. “It really feels like you’re finally discovering yourself. I think you’ll probably be less of a cock once you’re feeling like you’re actually living for yourself.”
“You think so?”
“For sure,” Trevor said and sighed contentedly as he closed his eyes. His voice was deep and quiet when he spoke again. “I’m so tired.”
“Do you want to stay the night?”
“No funny business?”
“No funny business,” Basil said. “I just want to spend time with you.”
Trevor looked up at him and kissed him softly on the lips. There was certainly something electric about the way they were kissing, it was sweet and not insistent at all. Basil felt a surge of electricity all over his body as Trevor placed his hand on Basil’s cheek.
“What if I want funny business?” Trevor said in a low voice.
Basil took a deep, shuddering breath. “I want that, I just—”
“What?”
He bit his lower lip. “I kind of feel like I don’t deserve it.”
“Why don’t you deserve it?”
“Because,” Basil said after sighing deeply. “I don’t want to hurt you again after what happened last time.”
“I didn’t think you would,” Trevor said.
“Well, you don’t know that,” Basil said. “You don’t—”
“I think I’m ready,” Trevor said. “I think you’re scared because this wouldn’t be under the cover of us doing it for someone else. Which, to be honest, I get.”
“You do?”
Trevor nodded. “We can stay here for a bit,” Trevor said. “I’m not pressuring you into anything.”
“What do we do after that?”
Trevor smiled. “Whatever you want. What’s your favorite movie?”
Chapter Thirty-One
Trevor’s eyes fluttered open when the light flooded into the living room. He didn’t remember when he had fallen asleep and it was weird when he looked around and wasn’t anywhere familiar. It took him a few seconds to remember coming back to Basil’s place, cuddling with him, and watching a very good dramatic comedy movie he couldn’t remember the name of, because he had been focusing so much on Basil instead. He loved everything about being there and that Basil hadn’t wanted to go further—well, he was happy about that. He had been a little angry with him about it at first, for a fleeting second, before he realized this was something Basil needed to do and he had to respect it. He was happy to. In any case, he loved just spending time with Basil without worrying about anything else. He wasn’t sure when he had fallen asleep and he wasn’t sure when Basil put a blanket on him.
Trevor yawned and stretched.
“Hey,” Basil said from somewhere behind him. Trevor turned around to look at him. “You didn’t have anything to do today, did you?”
“Not really,” Trevor replied, smiling. “Are you making coffee?”
“Yes,” Basil replied. “Would you like some?”
Trevor nodded. “Yes, please. Thank you for letting me crash here,” he said as he stifled another yawn. “I guess I was more tired than I thought.”
“It’s okay,” Basil said. “You can always crash here.”
Trevor smiled, his heart fluttering. His expression changed as he remembered how soon he was leaving. They wouldn’t get to do this again, even if Trevor really, really wanted to. And he really, really did.
“So, listen,” he said, turning around once again and watched Basil. Basil was wearing his pajamas, these thin cotton pants that were too long for him. He was also shirtless, and Trevor was having a hard time concentrating on anything other than the lines on his abs. Trevor could feel his mouth watering. Basil looked so amazing like this, shirtless, his hair a ruffled mess, and wearing his glasses instead of his contacts. “You look really sexy right now.”
Basil laughed. “Is that what you wanted me to listen to?”
“No,” Trevor said. “I was going to say the only thing I’m going to do today is shop and you’re invited.”
“What are you shopping for?”
Trevor smiled. “Furniture. The place I’m looking into renting is semi-furnished, but I would have to bring some of my own stuff.”
“Why only semi-furnished?”
Trevor sighed. “This is going to sound silly.”
Basil wrinkled his nose and smiled kindly. “Tell me anyway. How do you take your coffee again?”
“A splash of soy milk, if you have any,” Trevor replied. “And a teaspoon of sugar.”
“I don’t have soy milk,” Basil said. “I have cream, though.”
Trevor nodded. “That’s fine,” he replied.
“You didn’t think you were off the hook, did you?” Basil said as he walked up to Trevor with two cups of hot coffee, one in each hand. “So, tell me why it’s silly.”
“I guess it’s silly because I don’t know how long I’m going to be there,” Trevor said. “For all I know, I could be killed after a few episodes. I’m pretty sure the contract is for the entire season, but after that, what happens? I might have to move back here. Or, I don’t know, I might have to move far away.”
“So, that’s why it’s foolish?” Basil said, furrowing his brow.
“Yeah, that’s exactly why it’s foolish,” Trevor replied, still resolutely looking away from him. “Because I know better. I just, I guess I haven’t had something that felt like my own for such a long time. I really want to feel grounded again. So, I want to buy some of my own furniture. Nothing crazy. Just some flat pack stuff I can fit in the car.”
“Like what?”
“I don’t know,” Trevor replied, licking his lips. “Like maybe a desk where I can do my work. Or a mirror where I can practice. Don’t laugh, it’s my craft, I’m supposed to know what I look like when I’m performing.”
“I’m not laughing,” Basil replied, his hand in front of his mouth.
“But you want to,” Trevor said. “Which is okay. I guess you can laugh, it is a little pathetic.”
“I don’t think it’s pathetic at all,” Basil said. “I’ll go with you, but only if you let me buy you brunch.”
“So, the gay thing—”
“Shut up,” Basil said, holding his hand up. “Are you going to take brunch or not?”
“Yeah,” Trevor replied. “I’ll take it.”
Basil swallowed and looked at the floor. “But we have to make a pit stop.”
“Why’s that?”
“I think we might have to go see my parents,” Basil said.
Trevor cocked his head, staring at him curiously. They both knew this was temporary. “What do you—”
Basil grabbed Trevor’s free hand. “I will follow you to the end of the world,” he said, “if you’ll let me.”
Epilogue
Ten Years Later
“Are you ready?” Trevor asked as Basil stared at himself in the mirror. He didn’t have to ask, he knew Basil was ready, but Basil was nervous and Trevor didn’t want to push him too much. His sister’s wedding wasn’t an event that happened every day so Trevor didn’t mind cutting him some slack. On the other hand, they were on a tight schedule. Trevor had specifically taken the week off to spend time with his family and go back to the Walker estate.
That was where Sage and her soon-to-be husband Tony were tying the knot. While Trevor was incredibly excited to be there, because he loved Tony almost as much as he loved Sage, he hoped to spend some of his vacation actually relaxing. Not that he didn’t find being with his family relaxing, but he hoped to spend some one-on-one time with Basil by himself. After the wedding, Basil told him he had some sort of surprise for him but Trevor wasn’t sure what it was. All he knew was they weren’t coming back home straight away.
That suited him fine. They were long overdue for a weekend together when they weren’t worrying about the kids. While he knew they both loved their little flat near the Palladium and it had just enough space for them and the kids, he knew they both missed the space of being in America. The show Trevor was in had been too good to pass up. While he had never seen himself doing theater long term, the smash success of Kingdom of His Own had come as a surprise to every single actor in it. It had also come as a surprise to Basil, who didn’t think they would be staying in London for long, but took it in stride just like he did with all their moves.
It had been so strange, when they first really started going out with each other, they ended up in a long-distance relationship. But Trevor had never felt like Basil’s commitment wavered—even when Basil was writing his dissertation and later, his thesis, he would go see Trevor during the weekend no matter what. He would sit in at his shows when there was space, try to sell tickets when they were underperforming, and show up at the set when Trevor was shooting his TV show. One day, to surprise him, Basil had driven him to see an agent he had already thoroughly vetted. Trevor wasn’t impressed. The show had just ended, he didn’t think he would find work any time soon, and he didn’t appreciate Basil doing something like that without consulting him. He knew he wasn’t doing it to be a dick, though, so he had gone inside, met with the agent, and the meeting had changed his life.
Trevor was sure Basil’s name had something to do with opening as many doors as it had, but he couldn’t complain. After an awkward dinner meeting Basil’s parents—once again—Trevor started to feel like maybe he deserved some of the privileges that came along with being Basil Walker’s boyfriend. Not just the sex, though the sex was mind-blowingly good, and it kept getting better and better. Even now, with several children running around, they couldn’t keep their hands off each other. That was when they weren’t so tired they would just fall asleep in each other’s arms watching a random television show.
“Yeah,” Basil replied. “Are you ready? You look like you’re zoning out.”
“I am zoning out,” Trevor said at him. “I was thinking about you.”
“Anything good?”
“If by good, you mean extremely dirty, then yes,” Trevor replied. “I can’t wait until I can pull on that tie later and do very, very dirty things to you.”
“Stop it,” Basil replied as he bit down on his lower lip. “This tie is expensive.”
Trevor scoffed, shaking his head. “Since when has that stopped you from destroying clothes? I can’t think of all the expensive designer things we’ve ripped off in an effort to…well, y’know.”
“The kids?”
Trevor moved back a little to look through the bedroom’s open door. They were staying in a suite and they would be coming back here later, but not for a bit. Basil’s parents would be keeping the kids for the next few days. Trevor’s parents weren’t coming down for the wedding, but the Walkers had invited them for the week. Trevor was sure they were going to have a great time together spoiling the kids. The kids looked adorable in their little suits and dresses, and Trevor was grinning when he turned back to Basil.
“Still alive,” Trevor said.
Basil took a deep breath. “Are you sure it’s a good idea to leave them with our parents?”
“Yes,” Trevor said, walking over to where Basil was. “You need to stop worrying so much. They obviously need you, but you need a break. You might even have a chance to work on your book. Remember your book?”
Basil shook his head, laughing. “I know, Trev, just—”
“Relax,” Trevor said, grabbing Basil’s tie and biting his lower lip. “I have some very dirty ideas about what we can do when they’re not there.”
“Okay,” Basil replied. “You’ve convinced me.”
“Good,” Trevor said. He let go of Basil’s tie and his smile widened. “You’re such a good dad. You just need to learn to let go a bit.”
Basil shrugged. “I guess. I can’t help but worry.”
“Well, don’t,” Trevor replied. “They’re in good hands! We’re going to see our parents. They raised us, didn’t they?”
“Stop.” Basil laughed, shaking his head. “Do you want us to go back to London or something? Because this is how you get us to go back to London.”
Trevor winked at him and smacked him playfully on the ass. “Relax,” he said. “This will be fun. Just like old times.”
Basil shook his head. He was smiling.
***
The wedding was beautiful, and Sage looked amazing. Basil told Trevor he thought it was a little weird Amanda was one of the bridesmaids after their terrible break-up—it turned out there was only so much unstable behavior Sage could take—and Trevor elbowed him hard enough that he shut up. He bit down on his lip and tried not to laugh and then Ana walked down the aisle in front of Sage, spreading petals on the floor. She looked beautiful and Basil could feel tears in his eyes as his daughter followed his sister.
She was six years old and they had finally managed to adopt her three years ago. She was their oldest. They had only planned to adopt one child, but she had a biological brother and it felt unfair not to adopt him too. Neither one of them was really that sure about having children for a while, but they had talked it out and finally settled on it. They had fallen in love with Ana the moment they met her. It broke their hearts to keep her apart from her brother, so he was their second adoption. After that, they knew they wanted to have more children. Basil hadn’t wanted children when it was his parents who wanted them, but he loved being a dad, and he loved being a dad alongside Trevor. Trevor had less time than he did, which was weird because that was not the way it had always been, but Basil didn’t mind.
After getting his postgraduate degree, he had gone to his father and asked him to place him somewhere else. He would have been happy to quit, as his logistics job was a part time thing, but his father had been happy to give him a job in marketing and communications. Basil loved it, especially because he got to work from home and take care of the kids while Trevor worked as much as he wanted. Basil didn’t mind following Trevor. He would have lived wherever, as long as it meant he could live with Trevor. The only thing he missed was being close enough to his sister—then her fiancé—to go meet them for lunch.
Tony was a lovely guy, a real estate agent that was somehow related to Amanda. Basil was still not sure how and while he had asked, it was still not clear.
There were some cities Basil liked more than others. He didn’t mind London, he just hated that the space was a little tight, and he asked Trevor if he wanted to move somewhere a little farther away from the city, but Trevor had looked at him like he was crazy.
“You want me to drive in London? Really?” Trevor had asked.
“You could take the tube,” Basil had replied, trying not to laugh. “Diva.”
Trevor scoffed and had gone to put the kids to bed. Trevor often came home specifically just to put the kids to bed, because the theater was so close, then he went back. Basil guessed he couldn’t blame him for it. After Trevor had been about to leave, he kissed Basil square on the lips and that had almost turned into something more until Trevor winked at him and promised they would finish later.
They had, it had just taken a couple of weeks. Now that the reception was over and both he and Trevor were a little drunk, Basil glanced at his pocket and took a deep breath. There was a reason he was so nervous that night, but it wasn’t because he didn’t want to leave the child
ren alone with their parents, though he was sure that was contributing. They discussed marriage plenty of times already and they had made up wills and other things, but they still hadn’t tied the knot because other commitments kept getting in their way.
And because neither one of them dared pop the question.
They had done everything out of order. They slept together before they were in a relationship, they had been in a long-distance relationship for nearly four years, they had moved in together, and moved abroad almost immediately. Trevor had slowly but surely become part of the Walker family, except the children all had the Damico name and none had his surname, mostly because he wanted to show his parents he was doing it because of himself and his partner and not because of them. At first, his parents had been furious, but they had slowly gotten used to the idea, and now they adored their grandchildren.
They were in the process of adopting another child, their sixth, and the idea of proposing had been on Basil’s mind for a while. This seemed like the perfect time, in a hotel near Basil’s first real independent apartment, where they had spent the night together after their first date.
Trevor opened his eyes and looked at him with a goofy grin. “Where are we going? This isn’t the way to the hotel.”
“Shh,” Basil said. “I have a surprise for you.”
“What kind of surprise?” Trevor replied, cocking his head.
“Well, if I told you, it wouldn’t exactly be a surprise, would it?”
Trevor shook his head. “Are you gonna shave your beard? Because your beard is sexy.”
Basil shook his head too as he laughed. “How would that be a surprise?”
Trevor shrugged and lay his head back on Basil’s shoulder. Basil kissed the top of his head.
“Seriously,” Trevor said. “Which hotel are we going to?”
“You’ll see,” Basil replied and smiled. He would have to wait until the morning. Maybe that was a good thing.
***
Trevor woke up to the light streaming through the half-open blinds. There was a cup of coffee next to him, a bottle of painkillers, and an empty bed. He wasn’t sure what was happening. He stretched and looked around the room for Basil but he wasn’t anywhere to be found.