Warwick: Episode 3: Galactic Vangeance

by Mike Ploof

  The girls and I raised our glasses.

  “To galactic vengeance,” he said jovially.

  “To galactic vengeance.” I took a sip and was pleasantly surprised by the flavor. It tasted a lot like an old fashioned. “This is good. Thank you.”

  “You are quite welcome.” He gave me a respectful nod.

  “So how do you stop the hurricane on Harry’s planet?” Purshia asked, never one to mince words.

  He grinned. “You are as spirited as they say. It will not be easy, and I don’t even know if what you are seeking exists. Last I knew, they were years away from perfecting it.”

  “It?” I said.

  “They call it the storm eater, although its official name is atmospheric vortex modulator.”

  “Where is it?” Val asked.

  “At a military base about a thousand miles from here. To be exact, it is in the fifth subterranean chamber beneath the Department of Weather Modification Experimentation.”

  “The place sounds heavily guarded.”

  “Oh, it is,” he said grimly and sipped. “Luckily, I can get you in.”

  “How?” said Ella.

  F’yr’edyr pointed at the door we had come through. “With that.”

  “You mean you can program that thing so we can just waltz on into a high-security lab?” I said in disbelief.

  “I have programmed it with my DNA so it can send me anywhere in the world I have already been. Getting you into the lab will not be hard. You getting out of it, that’s another story.”

  “Can’t we just go back through your door?” Ella asked.

  “I would rather you did not,” he said. “Once you are detected—and you will be detected—they will begin tracking you. If they see your signature pop up near my home, they will know what I have done. I have already escaped death at the hands of my vengeful government. I do not wish to attempt to do so again.”

  “I can respect that, but how do we get out once we have the device?” I asked.

  “Just like we deal with every other situation,” said Val. “We shoot our way out.”

  “Precisely,” said F’yr’edyr.

  “Can’t I beam them out?” Purshia asked.

  “Nothing can be phased into or out of the lab. There is also an anti-phasing field in a wide circumference around the base. Not only that, but the base houses dozens of ships. You will only have a small window of opportunity to get them out once they reach the surface, and even then it will be nearly impossible for you to escape the planet after the alarm goes off.

  He told us where to look for the device, what it would most likely look like, and also drew us a blueprint from memory of all the ways leading in and out of the underground lab.

  The girls and I glanced at each other apprehensively, but F’yr’edyr laughed. “It is okay,” he said. “I have something to help you with that as well.”

  “You do? What is it?” Purshia asked.

  “First I would like you to answer one thing.”

  “Shoot,” I said.

  “Why have my people attacked your planet? Who paid them, and why?”

  I told him about the slaves we had freed, meeting Zex and being given the mission, and how he tried to kill us once he got what he wanted.

  “You barely escape the arena, free one of the last binarians in existence, and now you’re taking down galactic slave rings? You truly have a gift for getting yourselves in trouble.”

  “How did you know about Ju—I mean, the binarian?” I asked.

  “I have done my homework, as I said.” He offered me a grin that showed off his canines as he slowly petted the ferg standing beside his chair.

  “Now that you know why your people attacked my world, will you tell us how you intend to help us get off the planet?” I asked.

  “I have been working on a cloaking device that should keep your ship hidden from Phaerkonian sensors. With that device, you can slip out of here.”

  “Cloaking technology is illegal,” said Purshia, to which F’yr’edyr only shrugged.

  “Why are you helping us?” I asked.

  He thought about it for a moment. “Retribution. I helped create the weather bomb they are using against your world. It is the least I can do.”

  “Thank you, F’yr’edyr. You’re a good man.” I finished my drink and put it on the coffee table. “The clock is ticking. Let’s get this show on the road.”

  It was agreed that Purshia would fly to the location and wait, using F’yr’edyr’s cloaking device. It only took him about an hour to attach it to our ship and hook it up, but it was going to take Purshia another half hour to get to the base.

  “You take care of yourself,” I said before she set out.

  She kissed me on the lips and ruffled my hair. “I’m not going far, silly.”

  We watched her lift off and fly out of sight, then joined F’yr’edyr at his house. While we waited for Purshia to arrive at the base, F’yr’edyr programmed the door to take us there. Meanwhile, the girls and I went over the blueprints for the underground lab.

  There was an elevator shaft we might be able to use, as well as ventilation systems, but those had giant fans in them that we would have to disengage, unless we wanted to be chopped to bits. A third option was through a wide sewer pipe that funneled waste to a recycling facility on the grounds.

  The Phaerkonians didn’t mind messing up other species’ planets, but ironically, they recycled the piss on the own.

  “Pussy Galore here.” Purshia said from the neck of our suits where the helmets emerged. “I’m five miles away from the base and haven’t been detected. Mission Storm Eater is a go!”

  “When did we name it that?” Val asked.

  “When did Purshia become Pussy Galore?” said Val.

  “Copy that, Purshia,” I said. “With any luck, we’ll be ready for pickup in no time.”

  “Pussy over and out,” Purshia said happily.

  “When did you guys watch James Bond?” I asked the girls.

  “A little while ago when you were sleeping,” said Ella.

  I laughed and turned to our host. “How’s it coming along?”

  F’yr’edyr glanced up from his tablet and smiled excitedly. “We’re ready.”

  Ella, Val, and I gathered in front of the door as F’yr’edyr tapped at a holographic keyboard projecting from his wrists.

  “I’m enabling the link. Don’t be surprised if I put you in the middle of a hall full of people. The scientists there work all hours of the day, in shifts, and it is never empty. There is also security you will have to deal with. You may have to kill in self-defense, but I ask that you do not kill the scientists.”

  “You have our word,” I said.

  “Unless one of them tries to kill us,” Val added.

  He nodded and blinked heavily. “Good luck to you all.”

  “Thank you, F’yr’edyr,” I said. “I am forever in your debt.”

  He opened the magic door; on the other side was a white hall.

  F’yr’edyr said, “The device is most likely in a room with the rune of a whirlwind glowing on the door.”

  “Whirlwind, got it.” I crossed the threshold before I lost my nerve, nanoshield at the ready.

  Ella and Val emerged behind me, and F’yr’edyr waved to us before closing the gateway.

  “All clear this way.” I reported.

  Ella and Val had enabled their shields, and they had nanoguns ready.

  “Purshia,” said Ella into her helmet. “We’re in. Stand by.”

  “It’s Pussy Galore,” she responded.

  “Let’s check this way first,” said Val, and I started down the hall in the direction we were facing when we came through.

  There were doors on both sides every twenty feet or so, but none of them had a whirlwind rune. I saw one for fire, water, and earth, though, and figured we must be getting close.

  As I walked by a door with a flame rune, a Phaerkonian scientist in a shiny body suit came out. He stopped and star
ed at us, mouth agape. Val yanked him out of the doorway and slammed him up against the wall, pressing the barrel of her gun to his cheek.

  “Where is the atmospheric vortex modulator?” she demanded.

  “Who are you people?”

  “You better answer her. She has a tendency to shoot people who don’t,” I said.

  “Down the hall,” he said nervously, which was amusing, because he was basically a giant white Sasquatch.

  “Show us,” said Val and pushed him down the hall. “Try to raise an alarm, and I’ll blow your head off.”

  The white lights suddenly turned red, and a whooping noise sounded.

  “Looks like it’s too late,” I said. “Let’s move!”

  I covered our asses as Val marched the scared scientist toward the next door. It took about three seconds for the guards to appear through a door down the hall behind us. When they located us, they charged us like linebackers.

  “This one!” said the scientist, pointing at a door. “This is the room!”

  Val clocked him on top of the head, knocking him out, then pushed through it with Ella in tow. Bullets burst from the guards’ guns, and I barely made it into the room in time.

  There were computers running calculations on huge screens on the walls, and glass dividers formed rooms that looked hermetically sealed, with weird science experiments being run inside. Three scientists stood in one of them, gawking at us.

  I saw what they were working on, and it looked just like the device F’yr’edyr had described.

  “Put your hands up and step away from the device,” I commanded them at gunpoint.

  “Who are you?” one of them demanded.

  “Move!” I yelled.

  They exited the glass room, and Val shoved them against the wall.

  “Is that the weather vortex modulator?” I asked.

  Two of the scientists glanced at the third, who nodded. “It is, but it has not been tested yet.”

  “How sure are you that it will work?” I asked.

  “Ninety percent.”

  “And what are the consequences if something goes wrong?”

  “It will make the storm worse.”

  “Great.”

  The guards from the hallway pounded on the door, and I yelled, “Try to get in this room, and we kill all the scientists!”

  The pounding stopped. I looked at the device. It was about the size of a large fire extinguisher, chrome and coned at each end.

  “You are surrounded!” said one of the guards outside. “Surrender now and your lives will be spared!”

  “Suck a dick!” Ella yelled.

  I grabbed a scientist and dragged him over to the device. “How do I operate this thing?”

  “Bring it to the location and detonate by twisting the bottom seal,” he said.

  “Why can’t it be turned on remotely?” I asked.

  “I told you it wasn’t finished yet.”

  “All right, smartass, so set up a remote control for me.”

  “It isn’t that easy, given the nature of the device.”

  “What’s going to happen when I turn this thing on?”

  “It will create a small but controlled black hole that will suck the storm into it,” he said.

  “Sucked to where?”

  He shrugged. “Who knows?”

  “What the hell do you mean, who knows? The black hole must lead somewhere.”

  “Must it?” he asked.

  “Is this device going to disturb the environment?” I asked.

  “If it works as planned, it will absorb the storm and remain intact.”

  “Can the storm be brought back through the black hole?”

  He grinned. “Not as stupid as you smell.”

  I slapped him upside his hairy head. “Just answer the question.”

  “In theory, yes.”

  “And whoever sets this thing off… will they survive the ordeal?”

  He raised a brow and looked me over. “Perhaps with a suit like that.”

  “Perhaps?”

  “There is a good chance you will be crushed, but the device is designed to absorb wind, so there is a chance you will not be effected.”

  “Thanks for the input. Now back against the wall with your buddies.” I grabbed the device and held it under my arm like a football. “You ladies ready to blow this popsicle stand?”

  “What’s the plan?” Val asked. “Are we shooting our way out of here?”

  The guards started banging on the door again, and one of them yelled, “You have one minute to give yourselves up!”

  I studied the map F’yr’edyr had created for us and saw a bathroom on the other side of the lab. If his blueprints were right, the main sewer pipe was on the other side of the wall.

  “Ugh, gross,” said Ella. “We’re taking the sewer?”

  “Keep it down, and yeah, it’s the easiest way out.”

  “Thirty seconds!” the guards bellowed.

  I enabled my nanosword and told the girls to hang back. I stabbed it into the wall above my head and cut out a six-foot-wide circle. When I hit the sewer pipe, water and waste blasted out, covering the walls, ceiling, floor, and me. I had my helmet on, however, and didn’t smell a thing.

  The pipe was about three-and-a-half-feet wide.

  “This is going to be a little tight,” I told Ella.

  “That’s what she said,” Ella blurted.

  Val laughed from the other room.

  I sat on the edge of the pipe, activated my headlamp, and looked up. It was as disgusting as one might expect, but I thought I could see where it curved a few hundred feet above me.

  “I’ll go first,” I said. “Once I’m out, and I give the all-clear, you two follow.”

  “Good luck,” said Ella.

  I enabled my jetpack and scooted off the edge, then slowly ascended the pipe. When I got to the curve, I cut it in half in two places with my laser sword. Light spilled in through the first cut, and after I completed the second and pushed on it, the big chunk of metal dropped to the concrete with a huge clatter.

  I floated out of the pipe and did a 360, checking my surroundings. A siren was going off, and I could hear soldiers marching quickly through the base, along with barked orders and revving of engines.

  I was in the middle of a bunch of thick pipes. To my left was a large building, to my right was a tall watchtower. A fence surrounded the base. At its closest point, a tall hill was on the other side; it was as good a place as any to get picked up by Purshia.

  “Pussy Galore, you copy?”

  “I copy, Double O Sexy,” said Purshia.

  “We’re going to head for the hill on the north side of the base.”

  “I’ll be there.”

  I landed, made myself stop laughing over her Double O Sexy nickname, and gave the girls the all-clear. A few seconds later they flew out of the pipe and landed next to me.

  “We haven’t been spotted yet—” I started to say, but a gruff voice suddenly announced they had spotted the intruders.

  “Scratch that, let’s go!”

  I shot into the air and flew north as big guns began firing from the watchtowers. We performed evasive maneuvers, barely avoiding the spray of bullets.

  I didn’t see Purshia anywhere, and small fighter craft were taking off from somewhere farther south. The turrets continued to fire at us until we dropped below the northern hill.

  “Purshia?” I said, keeping an eye on the fighters headed our way.

  “I’m coming in from the north,” she said.

  “You mind taking care of those fighters?” Ella yelled as the crafts bore down on us.

  “Targeting….” said Purshia, and a moment later thick laser bullets erupted from thin air and tore the fighters apart.

  Our ship morphed into view, and Purshia spun it around. The cargo bay ramp was already open, and we raced up it.

  “We’re aboard!” I told her, and the bay doors closed.

  A blast rocked the ship, and Pu
rshia yelled for us to hold on. We grabbed the rails as the ship shot into the clouds.

  “It looks like the entire Phaerkonian fleet is on our asses!” Purshia yelled through the speakers in our helmets. “I need Ella on the bridge. Harry and Val, you’re on the gunnery stations!”

  “Roger!” I secured the weather device in some netting on the wall and rushed to the starboard gunnery station; Val went portside.

  I slipped into the pod and closed the hatch behind me. The screens came on, and I was given a complete 360-degree digital panoramic view. The gunnery station wasn’t partially exposed to space, like the ones on the Millennium Falcon from Star Wars but were safely tucked away inside the ship. The view was the same as if I was outside, straddling the turret gun like a bull rider.

  I had a choice of three different weapons: missiles, lasers rounds, and good old fashioned anti-aircraft bullets that were bigger than anything found on Earth.

  I grabbed the two joysticks, which I could use to aim the gun in just about any direction except toward the ship. The targeting system appeared as a red ring in front of me, and when I moved it over one of the fighters chasing us, it turned green.

  I enabled the anti-aircraft gun and fired fifty rounds at the ship, which was harder than it sounded given Purshia’s evasive maneuvers. I switched to missiles when I saw one of Val’s targets blow up between two ships. I fired in rapid succession at the trailing fighter, and the missiles exploded against the ship’s energy shield. The fighter wasn’t destroyed, but the impact sent it spinning out of control.

  “Purshia, why can’t you just cloak again?”

  “The cloaking device is recharging.”

  “Oh shit, I forgot about that.”

  “Just keep them off us for another fifteen seconds.”

  Two more fighters bore down on us as we sped through the atmosphere on our way to outer space. The rounds hit our ship’s energy shield, and the percentage on my interface dropped to 95 percent. I blasted the fighters with missiles, and Val tracked them expertly with the laser turret. Our efforts didn’t destroy the ships, but we were wearing down their shields.

  “Five seconds, and we’re home free!” said Purshia.

  No sooner had she said it than a larger fighter came into view and launched a massive missile which streaked toward us with alarming speed. When Purshia banked, trying to shake the thing, it stayed right on our tail.