by Ruby Dixon
I don’t have a friend on earth. On the entire fucking planet. I’m totally alone and I can’t even speak to him. I can’t hear.
I’m so alone.
My crying jag lasts a few hours, until I’m weak with exhaustion and my eyes feel hot and swollen. I eventually sit up again and look over at Hassen. He’s sitting by the fire, and his shoulders are slumped with dejection. He’s disappointed? I ignore the twinge of pity I feel because the jerk freaking kidnapped me. This shit is not right, not at any level.
He looks over at me and the expectant, hopeful look returns to his face. God, he looks so eager to see me. He gets to his feet and brings the waterskin over, offering it to me again.
I want to refuse, but my throat feels like a desert, so I take it and sip cautiously, watching him. He returns to the fire and comes back a moment later with a bowl of stew. I take it, too, because I’m starving and I’m going to have to eat something if I’m going to live.
I certainly don’t plan on dying, not now that I’ve gone through the trouble of getting the parasite. And it doesn’t seem like Hassen wants to hurt me, so I just need to endure him until Maddie finds me. I know my sister - she’s not going to rest until we’re reunited. She’s tireless in her efforts to protect me, and I feel a twinge of guilt that I resented the fact that I needed her for the last few days.
Because right now? I’d give anything to see her in the cave with me.
I tip the stew bowl to my mouth and to my surprise, it’s not as spicy as before. Maybe Kira’s a bad cook? Or maybe the parasite’s changing other things.
Big blue fingers reach out and brush over my jaw, startling me. I gasp and slap his hand away, ignoring the hurt look on his face. I don’t care how nice he is; he’s not getting into my pants. I’m not going to fall into his arms because he kidnapped me. If he thinks that, he’s got another thing coming. Of course, now that he’s tried to touch my cheek, everything is taking on a sinister sort of bent. This cave is awful small and has no privacy. I’m going to be alone with him until he takes me back.
After that cheek-touch? It’s pretty clear to me what he wants. He wants himself a human wifey.
And I am absolutely not volunteering.
Come and get me, Maddie. I’m gonna sit right here and wait.
I glance over at Hassen. He visibly perks up when his gaze meets mine, and I quickly look away again. I don’t want him getting the wrong idea.
I eat and pull the fur blankets tight around me again as a shield. I set the bowl and water aside and then huddle in the corner of the cave with my back against the wall, so I can’t be surprised by Hassen. His eagerness is almost puppyish the way he watches me, but then again, a puppy wouldn’t kidnap a woman. I’m not sure why he thinks stealing a girl will somehow win her heart. It’s bizarre.
I also wonder why the others let him get away with it. Don’t they care about what happens to me? Aren’t humans supposed to be precious to them? It makes me think of Rowdan, the one with the nice, kind eyes. Maybe he’s not so kind after all. Maybe this was all part of the plan.
I can’t trust anyone.
I spend hours in bed, watching Hassen. I’m no longer crying; now I’m just afraid. Afraid that Hassen’s going to get tired of waiting for me to like him. That he’s going to decide to touch more than my cheek. I’m alone with a strange, enormous man who clearly doesn’t have pure thoughts in his mind, so of course I’m terrified. It doesn’t matter that he’s treated me kindly so far; I’m waiting for the other shoe to drop.
He tries to talk to me a little. He comes over and is all smiles, talking as he sets up a fresh waterskin in my reach and offers me a little bowl of what looks like trail mix. I take the food and deliberately turn my face away so I don’t read his lips. I’m not interested in hearing what he has to say. What’s he going to tell me? Yeah, my bad, I stole you. Hope you’re not mad. Wanna make out?
He seems more and more disappointed in my reaction to him with every hour that passes. When I do bother to look over at him, he has a dejected look on his face and he rubs his chest. The moment our eyes connect, he lights up and looks at me with anticipation. It’s weird, but he watches me so expectantly that I keep getting the feeling that he’s like a kid waiting for Christmas, and I’m not sure why.
Also? I really, really have to pee and he’s not leaving. There’s a carved, covered bowl in one small corner of the cave that I can pretty much guess the use of, but there’s no privacy and I’m not about to drop trou and squat in front of him.
He waves a hand and says something, but I ignore him. “Go away,” I mutter, and pull the blankets tighter around me. How long can the human body wait to pee, I wonder. It would serve him right if I just made a mess wherever, but I don’t know how long we’re going to be here, and the last thing I want to do is shoot myself in the foot by peeing in my own furs. I squeeze my thighs tight, determined to wait it out.
A short time later, the urge to pee gets worse. I look over at the fire again. It flickers but Hassen’s gone…
I sit up, surprised. I didn’t realize he’d left me here. Immediately I charge out of my blankets and head for the screen over the cave entrance. I pull it back and take a step outside—
—Into a howling blizzard. At least, I assume it’s howling. It’s utterly silent to me, but the snow whips at my face like needles, and the wind is almost enough to knock me over. I sink, knee-deep, into the building snow in front of the cave. Shit. Do I go after him or do I wait for him to come back? I squint at the gray landscape, but I can’t see very far and that familiar, bone-numbing cold is returning.
I retreat back into the cave and replace the screen, then use the bathroom. I wash my hands with a bit of water, then sit back down in my furs and wait.
He is coming back, isn’t he? As much as I don’t want to be here with Hassen, I don’t know that I’m ready to be abandoned. Where would I go?
To my relief, my captor shows up again a short time later, brandishing an animal that looks like a stretched out porcupine with a catlike head. He holds it up and says something I don’t catch, then gestures at the fire. Cook it?
I lie down in the blankets and close my eyes. A response would mean I’m talking to him, and I’m not talking to him. As long as I’m not alone in this blizzard, it’s enough, for now. I can ignore him for a while longer.
I silently take mental stock of the supplies I’ll need if I’m going to run away. I’m going to need a backup plan for if something bad happens before Maddie comes to save me.
Freaking come on, Maddie!
ROKAN
“It’s been two days! Why is it no one can find my sister?” The human’s voice reverberates in the small cavern we have called home for the last two sunrises.
Raahosh scowls down at Mah-dee, who has her hands on her hips and is glaring right back up at him, unafraid. “Look outside. You can see as well as I can that the storm has covered any tracks.”
“So? This is your planet! You’re hunters! You should know this place! How many places can he freaking take her? Go get your happy blue ass out in that snow and find her!” Mah-dee gestures at the cave entrance.
I pause in the arrow I am sharpening and glance over to where Mah-dee stalks near the fire, furious. I understand her frustration; it does not change the fact that Li-lah is nowhere to be found, and the storm has covered all traces of footprints that Hassen might have left.
“I have been out in the snow, searching,” Raahosh grits out. “We all have. Rokan has been out searching endlessly and only stopped because I made him return. Taushen is out hunting for them even now. We are doing all we can, because we must keep hunters here to protect you and Kira.”
“A poor choice of words,” Haeden mutters as he comes and sits next to me. He picks up one of the new arrows I have made and watches Mah-dee out of the corner of his eye.
Mah-dee makes an outraged noise. “Protect me? Protect me? I don’t even want to fucking be here! Don’t do me any fucking favors! I can take care
of myself! Just go out there and find my sister, or let me!” Unafraid, she reaches for the knife at his belt. “Give me a freaking weapon and I’ll go find her my damn self—“
Haeden makes an annoyed sound.
Raahosh puts a hand over Mah-dee’s and stops her before she can draw his blade. “You do not want to do that.”
“I’m pretty sure I do,” she bites back.
Kira puts a hand to her face and rubs the smooth spot between her brows. “I know we are all stuck in this cave together right now, but can we please pretend we get along? I promise you we’re doing all we can, Maddie.”
“Mah-dee,” Haeden snorts and glances over at me, handing back one of the sharp arrows I have created. “It is a good name. She is always mad.”
I do not laugh, though my mouth twitches with the need. “I understand her anger. They are new to this place and her sister has been stolen. She is upset.” I am upset, too.
By stealing Li-lah away, Hassen is trying to force resonance. He could be robbing Taushen, Bek, or myself of a mate even now. I tell myself it will not work, and that if Hassen was meant to be Li-lah’s mate, he would have resonated to her when she received her khui. But then I think of Raahosh and his Leezh. He stole her and they returned nearly a full turn of the moon later, resonance mates. And I think of Harlow, who was taken by Rukh. When she returned, she was his resonance mate.
I am furious for all the wrong reasons, and I am angry at myself for it.
I should be angry because Hassen has broken tribal law. I should be angry for Li-lah that he is hiding her away from her sister and from the tribe. I should be angry that his impulsive action will cause us to be many sunrises late in returning to the tribe, and my mother will worry.
But instead, I am angriest that he is trying to choose for Li-lah. Because I want her for myself. It is wrong to feel possessive of a female I barely know, but I want to get to know her, and not as someone else’s mate.
“Do you need this many?”
I look over at Haeden, puzzled. “Many?”
He gestures at the pile of arrows I have made from animal bones. “Many arrows.”
Ah. I nod absently and run my thumb along the blade-sharp tip of one. “It is my turn in the cave.” Three hunters must remain with the human females at all times to protect them, because we are still in metlak territory. This means Aehako, Bek and Taushen are out hunting for signs of Li-lah and Hassen while I must wait in the cave with Haeden and Raahosh until they return.
It does not matter that I have not slept in the last day. It does not matter that I have spent every minute allowed out in the snows, searching for a hoped-for footprint. I only return when my exhaustion is greater than my strength, and because I must find out if the others have discovered them yet. Each time I return, I am disappointed to hear there is no news. And then because I must rest - according to Haeden and Raahosh, I spend the rest of the time readying my weapons so I can be prepared to go out again.
I will find Li-lah.
I must find Li-lah.
“It’s going to be okay,” Kira soothes, getting up and putting her arms around Mah-dee before she can pick another fight with Raahosh. “We’re going to find her. Hassen will keep her safe.”
“I just don’t understand,” Mah-dee complains, letting Kira lead her back to sit next to the fire. “Why would he steal her? What’s the point?”
Kira hesitates, then admits, “Resonance.”
Mah-dee’s yellow brows draw together. “What?”
“You know, resonance.” There’s an uneasy look on Kira’s face and she glances over at me and Haeden. “We explained resonance, didn’t we?”
“Um, no, this is the first I’m hearing of it?” Mah-dee tilts her head. “What’s resonance?”
Kira’s face goes pale, the color draining from her face. She looks over at Haeden and then, Raahosh. “Either of you want to handle this?”
“Resonance is for mating,” I volunteer when they are both silent. “The khui in your breast picks a mate for you and then you will bear him a kit.”
Mah-dee’s brows go up slowly. “Do. What?”
Kira gives me a little horrified shake of her head. “You know what? I’ll handle this, Rokan.” She waves a hand at me, indicating I should hush, and then pats Mah-dee’s arm. “Okay. So the khui you have in your body has a number of duties. It keeps its host healthy and adapts you to the environment.”
“The parasite, right.” Mah-dee’s face is unyielding. Her arms cross over her chest. “What does this have to do with a mate and a kit? What is a kit?”
Kira looks acutely uncomfortable. “So one of the other duties of the khui is to ensure the propagation of the host species. It picks two people that are the most genetically compatible and, um,” she puts her hands into two fists and bumps them together.
Mah-dee’s low gasp echoes in the cave. “The fuck you say.”
“Yeah. It was hard for a lot of us to deal with it at the time, but the good news is that everyone gets along with their mates.”
“Not all,” Haeden calls out. “Asha and Hemalo hate each other.”
Kira waves off Haeden’s comments with a frown. “Most,” she corrects. “Most love their mates. Some just haven’t come around yet.”
“So, wait.” Mah-dee covers her face and sucks in a deep breath, and then looks up. “I’m trying really hard to follow along here. The parasite decides that I need a man and finds me one? So we can bump uglies?”
“Uhg-lees?” I ask, curious. “What is an uhg-lees?”
Both women ignore me. “It is a bit like that,” Kira agrees.
“Why does this thing care if I have sex?”
“Propagation of the species,” Kira repeats, though I do not grasp what those words mean. She winces when Mah-dee makes a low scream of rage.
“Are you fucking with me? Is this Twilight? Am I going to turn the corner and Stephenie Meyer is going to be there?” She gestures over where Haeden and I sit. “Are they werewolves?”
“Wayr—?“ Haeden begins, frowning.
“No, no,” Kira assures her with another wave of her hands. “You’re panicking.”
She waves her hands so much it makes me think of Li-lah. And thinking of Li-lah makes me wonder why the others are not back yet. I stalk to the front of the cave and peer out. The snow is still falling heavily.
“But the parasite wants me to procreate,” Mah-dee says in a flat voice. “And you didn’t think to mention that before we got the glowing-spaghetti-noodle-of-doom shoved into our throats?”
“It’s not like you had an option,” Kira replies, but her voice is growing small in the face of Mah-dee’s obvious displeasure. “And really, not everyone resonates.”
“Oh? How many of the humans that came here with you haven’t resonated?”
Kira bites her lip.
“And they all have babies?”
With a little sigh, Kira clasps her hands in front of her breast. “You’re making this worse than it is, Maddie. It’s because there are so few females back at the sa-khui tribe cave—“
Mah-dee’s head goes down, her chin ducking. A moment later, I realize it is because her brows have gone so far up - what Kira is saying now has upset her. “Excuse me?”
“Few females,” Kira repeats, then bites her lip. “Okay, yeah, this does sound bad.”
“You think? I just found out we’re on Popsicle Planet with Captain Horny and the Hairy Palm Crew, and you didn’t bother to tell me that I get an assigned playmate?”
Haeden frowns and looks over at me as I drop back into my seat and pick up my carving knife again. “What is she saying? Her words are nonsense.”
“She is mad,” I tell him. “She wants to make her own choices.”
“I can hear you two,” Mah-dee snaps, looking over at us. “I’m not fucking deaf.” And then she bursts into tears.
Kira shoots us an exasperated look and then puts her arms around Mah-dee, rubbing her back. “I’m sorry,” Kira says. “You sh
ould have known before we gave you the khui, but it doesn’t change anything. You have to have it to survive. I promise. It’s not an option. It’s just a fact of life. And the guys here are nice. They will treat you very well if you resonate, and they won’t touch you if you don’t. I swear. Your sister is completely and utterly safe with Hassen, no matter how crazy this all seems.”
Mah-dee wipes at her cheeks and straightens, nodding. “So, he stole her because he mated to her? Resonated to her? Do I have a brother in law now?”
My heart clenches with jealousy at the thought. “Or he is trying to force it,” I add, unable to help myself. Haeden shoots me a quieting glare and I fall silent.
“Force it? What do you mean, force it?”
I remain silent. I am just making things worse.
“What do you mean, force it?” Mah-dee asks again, looking at me. “Rokan?”
“The human females resonated to our males quickly,” Haeden says, glaring at me for bringing this up. “Hassen took her because if he is the only male she is around, he is hoping her khui will resonate to him if they are together enough.”
“Like a consolation prize?” she shrieks and jumps to her feet. “He wants a consolation prize mating? Are you shitting me?”
“Are all the yellow-maned ones so angry? She reminds me of Leezh.” Haeden shoots an accusing glance at Raahosh.
“My mate is much sweeter,” Raahosh grumbles, looking just as annoyed with Mah-dee.
“Even when you stole her?” I jab back. “That is not what Leezh says.”
Now Raahosh scowls at me. Perhaps if I make everyone in the cave angry, they will send me out to go look for Li-lah. I scoop up my arrows and drop them into my hip-quiver. I am ready. More than ready. “If the hunters have no luck by the morning, we should take Mah-dee back to the tribal cave,” I say to the others. “Hassen will bring her back in his own time. I will go find her.”
“You will not,” Haeden says. “The sky-claws are a great danger and we have two humans to protect. Without Hassen, I need all the hunters.”
I stiffen with anger. Li-lah must come first. She is in danger. She…