A Walk Along the Beach

by Debbie Macomber

  “That’s not true,” Willa argued, defending her brother. “He missed Mom, too, just not in the same way as you and I did.”

  “Yes, I suppose. With Lucas, though, it was easier to pretend everything was fine when it felt for us as if our entire world had gone into a tailspin.”

  Willa didn’t argue, and I suspected she knew Harper was probably right. I’d never met Lucas, so it was hard for me to understand her brother. From what little Willa had told me about him, he seemed to have his head on straight. In one of our conversations about her family I remembered Willa telling me that the military had done her brother a world of good. He’d come out disciplined, clearheaded, mature beyond his years, with the resolve to make his own life.

  “He made up for it later,” Harper said. “When I was sick, he was a great support.”

  “To both of us,” Willa chimed in, stiffening her shoulders, as if reluctant to return to their earlier conversation. “Getting back to our tiff,” she continued, “I realized as I walked the field this morning that this need to get your own place with Leesa has been brewing for some time.”

  “It has,” Harper agreed. “We’ve been talking about it for a couple of months now.”

  “Why didn’t you say anything?” Willa asked, frowning. “I would have understood.”

  Once more Harper looked uncomfortable, kicking at an imaginary spot on the floor. “I needed to wait.”

  “But why?”

  She exhaled. “I wanted to be sure the blood tests were okay. It didn’t seem like a good idea to make plans to move out if there was a possibility the leukemia was back.”

  “Right. That makes sense.”

  Willa glanced my way as if to say she should have figured that out earlier.

  “So you’re looking at apartments with Leesa,” Willa said brightly. I could see she was doing her best to be encouraging and supportive.

  Harper’s eyes instantly lit up and she nodded. “We are. I’ve been saving up for the deposit, and Leesa has, too.”

  “What’s your timing?”

  Harper was quick to answer. “September first if we can find the right place, one that’s convenient for us both and at a price we can afford. The fifteenth at the latest. That won’t be a problem, will it?” She studied Willa, seeking her approval. “I mean, if you don’t feel that you can make the rent on your own—”

  “It won’t be a problem,” Willa rushed to reassure her sister.

  I had to wonder if she was as okay with this as she said she was. Willa had been her little sister’s advocate from the time Harper had been born. Freeing Harper to move out was a huge step emotionally for her. I could only imagine how bereft this decision made her feel.

  “Will you get a new roommate?” Harper asked, as if she worried what would become of Willa without her. Her gaze flickered to mine. I nodded, hoping she understood I wasn’t going anywhere. When it came to Willa, I intended to be around for as long as she’d have me.

  “A new roommate,” Willa echoed, as if only now considering the option. “Possibly. I haven’t thought that far ahead.”

  “I need to find a place that will allow pets,” Harper said absently, and for the first time, she noticed the cake pans that lined the counter. “You baked cakes?” she asked with some surprise.

  “For the wedding. Four different flavors.”

  “I did a taste test,” I volunteered. “The coconut is my favorite, with the lemon cake running a close second.”

  Harper grinned. “You were serious about baking Lucas and Chantelle’s wedding cake, then?”

  “Of course.”

  Harper hugged Willa and started toward the door. “Wish me luck today.”

  “Luck?” I asked. Clearly she was up to something, to be awake this early on a Saturday morning.

  “I’m doing a practice climb up Mount Rainier with the whole group,” Harper explained. “It’s a big deal. We’re scheduled to make the full climb next weekend. This will be my first time to meet the guide.”

  “Harper has been conditioning all summer,” Willa explained. “She intends to impress the guide with how fit she is.”

  “So you’re ready?” I asked.

  “I’m as ready as I’ll ever be.”

  Seeing that she taught yoga and fitness classes, this news came as no surprise.

  “This is more than a practice climb,” Harper explained, gripping her hands together. “It’s a strength and endurance test, too. Anyone who can’t make it to Camp Muir will need to withdraw from the group.”

  “That’ll be like a cakewalk for you.”

  “Should be,” Harper agreed, looking eager to be on her way. “Gotta scoot. We’re okay, right?” she turned back to ask Willa.

  “Of course. Have fun today.”

  “Will do.” Harper looked happy and far more relaxed than she had when she’d first arrived.

  “We can talk more tonight.” Willa blew her a kiss.

  Harper waved on her way out the door.

  As the two had been talking, Willa had rolled out the dough for the cinnamon rolls and placed them on a large sheet to rise again. They looked amazing. I had to wonder if any of this got old. She worked with practiced hands, almost without thinking. Yet I could see the love that went into her baking. It was the secret ingredient that kept drawing customers back. Me being one of them.

  I’d put off discussing my news long enough and decided it was best to tell her now. “I have something in the works myself,” I said, slipping back onto the stool. Watching her turn a second batch of dough onto the counter, I waited until she glanced up before I explained.

  “Did I mention the opportunity I have to shoot marine life on a few of the islands in the Philippines?”

  Willa’s hands stilled. “Maybe.”

  “I’ve been waiting for months to hear if the shoot was a go and I would be chosen as the photographer.”

  “And?”

  “And word came late last night. It’s happening and I’m in.”

  This was big. I’d won the bid over a dozen other photographers, many of whom had far more experience than I did. This was a career coup and I was doing my best to tone down my excitement. Blood rushed through my heart at the thought of what this assignment would mean for my career.

  Willa went still while I waited for her congratulations.

  When she spoke, her voice was soft and small. “You’re leaving again?”

  “Yes, this is what I do, Willa. You know that.”

  She bit into her lower lip as if holding back her disappointment. “So soon after Bolivia?”

  “It happens like that sometimes.” I could see how badly she wanted to argue with me.

  “But you’ve been desperately ill.”

  “I’m much better. My last blood tests proved as much. This doesn’t mean I’ll be flying out right away. It’ll probably take a few weeks to get everything sorted out.”

  She held my gaze and I could see the effort it took for her not to say anything more.

  “You don’t need to worry,” I said, wanting to reassure her. I was excited and disappointed that she didn’t share my enthusiasm. My hope was that she’d recognize how fortunate I was to have gotten this plum assignment. This wasn’t something that had come together at the last minute. I’d been waiting for weeks, hoping for this opportunity.

  “Don’t tell me not to worry,” she said, attacking the dough with her hands, kneading it with such force I took a step back.

  “But…”

  “Telling me not to worry guarantees that I will worry.”

  “Willa, please.”

  “Please what? ‘Please understand. Please be happy for me. Please put this out of my mind and be the sweet little girlfriend who waves you off with a smile.’ ”

  “Yes.” That was all I could think to say. />
  “Which one?” she demanded.

  “All of the above,” I stated calmly. To be fair, I’d expected her to complain it was too soon after being ill or to argue that I should give myself more time to heal properly.

  Her shoulders slumped forward and her hands stilled. “Just how long will you be away this time? Three weeks? A month? Two?”

  “I don’t know. It could be up to two months.”

  She lifted her forearm and wiped it across her forehead. “Will it be dangerous work?”

  I opened my mouth to assure her I’d be as safe as a baby tucked in his mother’s arms. As much as I wanted to make light of any dangers I would likely encounter, to claim otherwise would be misleading. Any excursion into a foreign country came with certain risks. The polluted drinking water, various insects, and snakes were only a few of the threats I’d likely face.

  “I’ll be careful,” I whispered. Unable to keep from touching her any longer, I stepped behind her and wrapped my arms around her middle, hugging her and resting my chin on her shoulder.

  “Will…Will you be able to stay in touch?”

  Most likely it would be hit and miss with a whole lot more misses than hits. The areas where I’d be working were remote, and any chance of finding an Internet connection was unlikely. With an assignment this lengthy, there would be opportunities to travel into town for supplies. Depending on the location, we might be fortunate enough to find an Internet café. When it came to guarantees, I couldn’t give her any.

  “Your silence says it all.”

  Willa continued working. Neither of us spoke as she rolled out the dough and spread the sugar, butter, and cinnamon over the top before securing it. She cut each roll into one-inch slices with surprising accuracy, never needing to measure before she placed them on the sheet to rise next to the first sheet.

  Earlier Willa said it had taken her time to understand what Harper had been trying to tell her for weeks. She needed space from the sister who had been more mother than sibling. It hurt her to let go of Harper.

  Willa used the back of her hand to wipe the moisture from her face.

  Turning her around so I could look at her, I saw that tears had filled her eyes, threatening to spill down her cheeks.

  “It’s too much,” she whispered. “First Harper wants to leave me, and now you.”

  “Baby,” I whispered, drawing her close. I kissed the top of her head. “Harper’s not leaving you any more than I am. We’ll both be right here.”

  “You’ll be half a world away,” she argued.

  “My heart won’t be. That will be with you.”

  She chuckled and slammed her palm against my shoulder. “Do you think a few pretty words are going to make me feel better?”

  “I can hope, can’t I?” Drawing in a deep breath, I felt I had to ask even when I wasn’t sure of her answer. “Do you want me to turn down this assignment?”

  She pulled away and looked me in the eyes as if to gauge the sincerity of my question. “Are you serious? Would you actually turn it down if I asked you to?”

  I was serious and nodded, holding in my breath, fearing that was what she wanted. If she did, I wasn’t sure how I’d respond. Years ago, I heard a television attorney mention how important it was to never ask the witness a question when they didn’t know the answer. Perhaps I should have taken a lesson from that.

  If Willa asked me to give up this assignment, I wasn’t sure I could do it, no matter how strong my feelings were for her. It would possibly be the beginning of the end of our relationship.

  “No,” she said after the longest moment of my life, “I would never ask that of you.”

  Relief flooded through me and I released a long pent-up breath. “Thank you, Willa.”

  To have her hit my shoulder with far more force than she had before came as a surprise.

  “Don’t you dare get sick. I swear, if you return again with some tropical disease, I will never forgive you.”

  It wasn’t like I intended to shop around for some deadly fever. “I’ll do my best to stay safe and healthy.”

  “And I expect to hear from you as often as you can manage it.”

  “Done.”

  “You better miss me.”

  “Every hour of every day.”

  The beginning of a smile touched her lips, making her irresistible. Before she could make any further demands, I bent down and kissed her, letting her know how important she was to me.

  Yes, this was an assignment of a lifetime and I was fortunate to get it. Nevertheless, that paled against what I’d found with Willa.

  CHAPTER 18

  Willa

  I didn’t hear from Harper following her practice climb. That wasn’t a shock, although I’d hoped she’d at least call. She’d mentioned that she’d be staying at a cabin near Mount Rainier that night with her friends. No worries. There was sure to be a big party after the climb, and checking in with my sister wasn’t high on my priority list, given the busy day I had and my lack of sleep the night before. When she didn’t show Sunday afternoon, I decided she was flexing her independence and didn’t feel the need to connect with me.

  Since she’d made a point of letting me know she didn’t appreciate my mothering her, I didn’t text or phone her, either. I worried plenty, but no way was I going to hunt her down to be sure she was okay. Harper would hate that. At any other time, I would’ve been on the phone so fast it would burn up the line.

  Sunday afternoon Sean stopped by the apartment with Bandit. I packed us a light lunch and we headed to the beach. Tourists crowded the oceanfront. Kids raced up and down in the sand. Sean built me a sandcastle with the help of four or five kids. He was great with them. Spending time with him helped take my mind off my sister.

  After we ate, he threw a Frisbee for Bandit. We laughed, watching his dog leap into the air to catch the round disk. Children gathered and applauded. Sean let them toss it several times and there was fun all around. We tired out long before Bandit did.

  When we returned to the house, we were both exhausted. Sean stayed for dinner and we watched a romantic comedy, snuggling together on the couch.

  “Any word from Harper?” he asked.

  “None. She’s going out of her way to show me what she really wants from me is to be her sister.” I’d failed her in that way and planned to do whatever was needed to show I’d taken her words to heart.

  “Are you worried?”

  “Not really,” I lied.

  His smile was all too knowing.

  “All right, maybe a little. She’s fine. If anyone was ready to conquer that mountain it’s my sister.” Harper had been climbing mountains her entire life, each one higher and more challenging than the last.

  * * *

  —

  On Monday morning, when I still hadn’t spoken to Harper, my confidence wavered. I battled the urge to contact one of her climbing partners. If I did, I knew she’d never let me live it down. It wasn’t until I checked her bedroom that I discovered she’d made it home after all. Her bed was mussed. She must have arrived home late, because I hadn’t heard her. That morning, she must have snuck out early. By now it was apparent she was avoiding me.

  Snowball wasn’t happy, either. Her food dish was empty. Before I left for Bean There, I fed Harper’s cat and refilled her water bowl. For the life of me I couldn’t imagine what was going on with my sister.

  She didn’t show up between her yoga and fitness classes for her special protein drink, either. Now I really was concerned.

  “Is everything all right?” Shirley asked me during a late-morning lull.

  “Sure. Why wouldn’t it be?”

  “You tell me,” Shirley shot back. “You haven’t been yourself all morning. What gives?”

  Shirley was a no-nonsense kind of woman and wouldn’t ignore my obvious dist
ress. “I haven’t heard from Harper since she left for Mount Rainier last Saturday.”

  To her credit, Shirley looked as stricken as I felt. “She didn’t call?”

  “No. She’s been home,” I rushed to explain. “Her bed wasn’t made this morning, so I know she returned at some point last night.” To be fair, I’d been completely worn out after Sean and I had spent the day on the beach. Being in the sun did that to me. I’d fallen asleep halfway through the movie. Sean had to wake me before he left and saw me to bed.

  “She can’t avoid you forever.” Shirley was ever sensible.

  “Why would she avoid me in the first place?” I asked, not expecting an answer. Yes, we’d had a minor disagreement earlier, but we’d sorted everything out Saturday morning. I’d assumed we had. Perhaps I’d been wrong. I’d felt good about the progress we’d made. It was rare for us to fight. I was grateful Harper had sought me out before she’d left. If there remained trouble between us, I wanted it settled. I didn’t know what it could be, though.

  * * *

  —

  When I returned to the apartment after the shop closed, I found Harper curled up on the sofa, a blanket wrapped around her, although it was one of the hottest days of the summer. She had her head buried under the quilt.

  “Harper, are you ill? What’s wrong?”

  She peeked her head out and looked my way. Unhappiness radiated from her face and she swallowed hard, as if she couldn’t bear to speak the words.

  This was so unlike my sister that I was immediately alarmed. Easing myself down on the far end of the couch, I searched for a plausible excuse. “Are you still angry with me?” That was the question that plagued me most. I couldn’t bear it if she was.

  “No.” Her voice sounded like it took every ounce of energy she possessed to get it out.

  “Did you and Leesa have a falling-out?” Perhaps her hopes of sharing an apartment with her best friend had fallen through.

  She shook her head.

  Not knowing what else to do, I placed my hand on her leg. “Won’t you tell me what’s wrong?”