Tangled Up Hearts

by Hughes, Deborah

  Alyssa was so shocked at first that she literally couldn't move but when Paul sat up and she knew he was okay, her body started shaking with fury. Then she saw the blood and went livid. Was Cole possessed or something? Since he was looking at Paul and not paying any attention to her, she managed to step close enough to bring her knee up and get him right where it counted.

  All air whooshed from Cole's lungs as he slunk forward then dropped to his knees.

  Although she regretted hurting him, she resisted the urge to ensure he was okay and ran to Paul, sinking to the ground beside him. Sobs of hysteria were erupting from the hurt raging within her. “Paul, oh my God, Paul. Are you okay?”

  He grasped her arms gently and pulled her up with him. Once they were steady on their feet, he yanked a handkerchief from his pocket and dabbed gingerly at his nose. “Shhh, Alyssa, it’s okay.” Since she was shaking uncontrollably, he slid an arm around her and gave her a reassuring hug. “Calm down, it’s okay.”

  "I...I'm not sure what to do." Cassie knelt next to Cole and touched his shoulder in tentative concern.

  "It's fine, Cassie. I'm sorry you had to see this." He motioned for her to get in the truck. "We need to leave."

  Giving a confused, apologetic glance at Paul and Alyssa, Cassie helped Cole rise to a stand but then he shook off her assistance and somehow managed to open the door for her. When she looked reluctant to get in his truck, Cole gave her a small, pleading smile. "Please.”

  Perhaps it was the smile that reassured her, Cole wasn't sure, but he was relieved when she pulled herself up into her seat. She did, however, send Alyssa and Paul one last concerned look before he shut the door.

  It took all Cole had to walk around to the driver's side and get in but he managed it. His iron will would never fail him and it was the only thing keeping him going these days. Although his groin throbbed painfully, his heart felt worse. Jesus. What just happened?

  "I don't understand..."

  Cole reached over and gave her folded hands a squeeze. The last thing he needed was for things to go wrong between him and Cassie. "Neither do I." He pulled out of the parking lot and didn't look back.

  Alyssa watched Cole's truck speed away down the road and felt as if her world had just turned upside down. “What’s happened, Paul? What’s happened?” She turned to him and grabbed at his shirtfront, her eyes wild with emotion, her mind scrambling to understand.

  “I don’t know. Something is very definitely amiss here.” Paul frowned as he too watched Cole drive out of sight.

  “Hey, we saw the whole thing? You want us to call the police?” Several people had gathered outside the restaurant. The older man of the group stepped forward as he eyed Paul with concern.

  Paul smiled to ease their concern. “We're fine. It was just a misunderstanding. Thank you, though.” He led Alyssa to his car and helped her into her seat before he went around to the other side and got in himself. When he was settled behind the wheel, he pulled the handkerchief from his nose but blood continued to drip from it so he hastily put it back and pinched a little harder. How was he going to explain this to the people at church?

  “I don’t understand, Paul. Cole has never been violent. Not like that.” She lifted watery eyes to his, her voice breaking into a sob when she saw the blood on his handkerchief. “I can’t believe he hit you like that."

  “When something matters very much to a person, their reactions and emotions are on par with it. Whatever caused Cole's upset, he felt deeply passionate about it. His emotions were quite involved. That was pretty evident. His actions were just as strong.” He patted her shoulder. “The fact that whatever upset him involved you and you have no idea what's going on, I'm thinking there has been some sort of major misunderstanding.”

  “Whatever his reason, there is no excuse for him to hit a priest!”

  Paul laughed softly. “I’m not a priest yet.”

  She sniffed. “A minor technicality.” She didn’t care to know the reasons behind Cole’s inexcusable behavior. As of now she was washing her hands of him completely. From this day on she didn’t want anything to do with Cole Delaney. Nothing at all. To think she actually thought she was in love with the brute. If it weren’t so pathetic it would almost be laughable. She hated him.

  Once he realized his nose was no longer bleeding, Paul started the car and pulled out of the parking lot. "His hurt must be very deep for him to feel so much anger.”

  Alyssa made no comment. For her, Cole did not exist anymore.

  CHAPTER SIXTEEN

  The rest of her weekend went by in a blur. Still reeling with shock by what happened at the restaurant, Alyssa felt numb inside. She couldn’t even think. For hours she sat before the television set staring blankly at the screen. On Monday morning she arrived late to work and throughout the day she caught some of her co-workers sending curious glances her way. Some even approached her to ask if she was okay. Alyssa's constant "Nothing is wrong" responses eventually achieved what she'd hoped and finally she was left alone.

  As the week dragged on her concentration fizzled to nothing. Several times she had to redo her work. On Tuesday she lost an important file. On Wednesday she missed a major deadline. On Thursday she messed up a website so bad it took her the rest of the day to fix it. On Friday she was told to go see her department’s supervisor.

  “Alyssa, I don’t know what is wrong but your work performance this week has been deplorable. I cannot tolerate this kind of behavior. Is there anything we can talk about? Can you tell me what’s bothering you?” Glen Mason, a short portly man in his mid-fifties who, in Alyssa's opinion, was over-payed and useless, stared at her with eyes that looked like they could care less what she told him.

  Alyssa merely nodded. She was just too tired to care what he thought and she certainly had no intention of offering an explanation. Her pathetic love life, or lack thereof, was none of his damn business. “I’m sorry, Mr. Mason, but I don’t care to discuss it.”

  He nodded his balding head. “I see. Well, you have to know that this sort of behavior cannot continue. You do understand me?”

  Alyssa stood up. “You won’t have to worry about it any further, Mr. Mason. I quit.” She ignored his gasp of surprise and walked out the door. She’d never liked the man and never understood why the company kept him on. Probably because he did their dirty work for them. Well, fine, they could keep his sorry ass, she was through.

  Not one to leave projects undone, it pricked at her conscience that she was going to do just that but she didn’t let it stop her from gathering her personal items and throwing them carelessly into a bag. She was aware that shocked co-workers watched her from their stations but she pretended not to notice them. Nothing mattered. She couldn’t make herself care about any of it.

  Once her things were packed, she went around and said her goodbyes to those she would genuinely miss then picked up her bag and purse and walked out of the office for the last time.

  On Saturday, in the late afternoon, her phone rang, startling her from a light doze. The ring tone was Trisha’s and though she could hear it, she couldn't find it and a frantic search ensued. Finally she found it on the floor under the coffee table and answered it in the nick of time. "Hello?”

  “Guess who’s back? Oh, Al, the Bahamas are beautiful.” Trisha’s bubbly voice almost made everything seem normal. Almost.

  “That’s great, Trisha, I’m glad you had a good time.”

  “Al? Are you okay? You sound…funny.”

  Al wanted to cry. She wanted to sob all her feelings out to her friend and cleanse herself of the hurt inside. But she wouldn't do that because she was not going to do anything to upset her. Bottling up all that emotion made her throat tight but she managed to croak out a reply. “I’m fine.”

  “You don’t sound fine. Look, I’m coming over. I’ve got lots of pictures to show you and we can talk. You can tell me what’s happened since I’ve been gone.”

  “No!” Panic made her speak more sharply than
she intended and she made sure to temper her voice when she rushed to explain her objection. “I have a bad cold and I shouldn’t be around you right now. Not with the baby and all.” It was the only thing she could come up with in a hurry.

  “Oh dear, the flu? Is there anything I can do?”

  Alyssa’s eyes watered. Her throat convulsed. Not now. She couldn’t cry now. “No. No, I’ll be fine. I just need to stay in bed and sleep it off.”

  Trisha’s voice came across as sympathetic and concerned. “You sound awful. Are you sure I can’t do anything?”

  It took her a moment to speak. How to talk when all you wanted to do is cry? “I’ll be fine. Look, I’ll call you later.” She quickly hung up and grabbed a pillow, burying her face in it as the tears finally came. Loud, wracking sobs that shook her entire body.

  A long time later, exhausted from the tears, she sank into blessed sleep.

  On Monday, Alyssa felt like she was returning back to life or some semblance of it. Either that or she was getting comfortable with being miserable. A shower helped to lift her mood even more and once she was dressed, she headed for the kitchen in search of food. It was a good sign, surely, that she was feeling hungry.

  After polishing off some canned tomato soup and a tuna sandwich, she sighed heavily and stared out the window. All the trees were now fully cloaked with leaves and birds fluttered everywhere, their cheery chirping a balm to her weary soul. Since she was starting to use her brain again, one nagging question began to fill it. What was she going to do now?

  The realization of what she’d done finally hit her. Good Lord, she didn’t have a job! Web site designers were not in high demand at Cove Falls. Had she completely lost her mind?

  Then an idea hit her. A brilliant idea. Julia March, a cousin with whom she kept in touch, had her own business in New York City. She helped businesses design computer programs similarly to what Schullers did only she specialized in small businesses rather than large companies. She was quite passionate about helping people meet their dreams and making their mark in life. She told Alyssa at graduation that if she ever needed a job then she was to look her up. Well, it was time to look her up.

  Alyssa grabbed her cell phone, scrolled through her contact list and located Julia’s number. A second later she was calling her. There was no time like the present to get her life back into order. “Julia? Guess who this is?”

  “Alyssa, I would know your lovely voice anywhere. Besides, I have caller ID." Not one for idol chit chat when there was work to be done, she got down to business. "Although this is a lovely surprise and we've lots to catch up on, I'm pressed for time at the present. What's up?”

  Alyssa’s hand tightened on the receiver. “Remember last year when you offered me a job?” She held her breath as she waited for a response.

  “Of course! Are you interested? Alyssa, this is perfect timing. I just had someone put in notice yesterday and I am swamped with business.”

  “Is your offer of that spare room still open too?”

  Julia's throaty laugh delayed her answer but only for a moment. “It’s been empty a year now, waiting for you.”

  Alyssa let out her breath in relief. “How soon can I come?”

  “How soon can you get here?”

  They made arrangements for Alyssa to be there by the following weekend. After promising a nice long chat to catch up on family news when she got there, Alyssa hung up and stared off into space. For a moment she was stunned at what she'd just set in motion then was galvanized into action. She had a lot of things to do before Saturday.

  By Friday she was exhausted. There was a lot involved with closing up a house and she wanted to be sure to do it properly. She also had to go through her cupboards and refrigerator and get rid of all her perishables. All of which went to her neighbor Tilly. Then there was the cable, internet and phone services to stop. She had some cleaning to do and it all kept her busy from sun up till sun down. She thought about letting the house out for rent but decided against it. She didn’t want to risk letting strangers into her home that might not take proper care of it.

  She slept her last night in Cove Falls with a weary heart, the loneliness of her self-imposed isolation weighing heavily upon her soul.

  During the whole week, she didn’t tell anyone her plans. She didn’t want to explain her actions, she didn’t want anyone to change her mind and she didn’t want to face her decision. Now that Saturday had arrived and it was time to lock the door to her house and embark on her journey, she stood on the doorstep unable to move. What had she done? She was leaving her family, her friends, her life.

  Shaking her head with resolve, Alyssa locked the door and hurried to her car. Well, you made your bed, Alyssa, now you must lie in it. She pulled out of the driveway, hesitated a moment to take one last look at her home, then stepped on the gas pedal and headed for her parents’ house. It was time to tell her family.

  Her mother reacted exactly as she'd imagined.

  “Alyssa, this is just a shock. Why? Why are you doing this?” Wringing her hands in distress, Julia paced the living room in agitation. “This is not like you. You didn’t even give us a warning.”

  “I’m sorry, Mom. Look, I’ll call every week.” She intercepted her pacing mother and hugged her tightly. “It’s just something I have to do.”

  After another hour of reassuring her bewildered parents that she was fine and the move was a good one for her to make, Alyssa finally headed for her car. The morning was growing late and she still had to see Trisha.

  It was hard giving her parents that final wave as she pulled out of their driveway but she managed to do it and not look as devastated as she felt inside. Guilt washed over her at the worry stamped in their expressions. It was going to be worse dealing with Trisha and she dreaded the confrontation.

  Just as she suspected, Trisha was much worse.

  “But you can’t leave. Have you lost it completely? What about me? I need you here with me. Have you forgotten about the baby?” Trisha started crying as soon as the announcement was made and twenty minutes later, she showed no signs of letting up.

  Alyssa tried to express all the reasons why this was a good plan but her heart wasn't in it enough to be convincing. Still, she was determined to go through with it and though Trisha understood that, she didn't buy into Alyssa's reasons for it. “I don’t understand, Al.”

  Jack held his weeping wife and stared at Alyssa with deep concern. “What’s happened to cause this, Al? Please talk to us.”

  Alyssa’s eyes watered. “I’m sorry. I really am. Nothing has happened. I….I just need to get away and try something new. Please, please try to understand. This has nothing to do with you.” She started backing toward the door. “I have to go. I’ll call often. I promise.” She fled their betrayed faces with a heart wracked by guilt and anguish of her own.

  Just what had she done?

  CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

  Four months later, Alyssa pulled into her parents' driveway then sat looking at their home for a long, quiet moment, soaking it in, enjoying the feel of being there. Summer was well on its way into fall and the surrounding gardens were in full bloom. Had it really been only four months since she’d last driven away from here? It seemed as if she had been away forever. She didn't think she’d miss the quiet New Hampshire town as much as she did, but the fact is, she missed it almost too much. Not as much as she missed her family and Trisha though. That was the worst to deal with. And she hated being so far away from Paul. He was the only one who really understood what was going on with her and they talked often. Thinking about him made her smile, something she didn't do much of anymore. He was ordained the previous weekend in a ceremony she had attended and he was now taking over the church from his uncle who had decided to retire. Though still in remission, the cancer had taken a lot out of him and he was ready to hand the reigns over to his young nephew. When Paul asked her to come to his first sermon as a full-fledged priest in residence, she promised she’d be there. B
esides, she needed to visit her family and see Trisha who was nearing the end of her pregnancy.

  The front door opened and her parents came rushing out. “Alyssa! Oh, sweetheart it is so good to see you.” Her mother pulled her from the car and into a tight hug. “You’ve lost weight.” She drew away and studied her critically. “How was the drive? Come on in, I made your favorite for lunch, Monte Christo sandwiches.” They walked arm and arm to the house and Alyssa blew a kiss to her father who was grinning broadly and pulling her suitcase from the car.

  Seeing her mother's critical scan, Alyssa gave her a squeeze. “I’ve only lost a few pounds. Thank you so much for making me my favorite sandwich. Your recipe is the best.”

  Once lunch was over and she'd answered all her parents' questions, Alyssa knew she couldn't put off seeing Trisha for even one more second. She was eager to see her friend but apprehensive as well. There would be no avoiding Trisha's probing questions. Alyssa just hoped she could answer most of them to her satisfaction without having to tell her more than she wanted to tell her.

  Trisha opened the door at the first knock and squealed with delight. “Al! Oh Al! I am so glad you’re here.” She threw her arms around her and held her tightly. “I’ve missed you terribly.”

  “Hey, make room for me.” Jack pried his wife’s arms from Alyssa's neck so he could give her his own warm welcome. “It’s great to see you again, Al.”

  “It’s good to see you both as well.” She turned to look pointedly at Trisha’s swollen belly. “Hmmm. You’ve gained weight.”

  Trisha rubbed her rounded belly and laughed. “Lots of it. Isn't it wonderful?” She grabbed Al’s hand and pulled her into the living room. “We have a lot of catching up to do.” She turned to Jack. “Be a sweety and make us some tea would you?”

  Jack bowed. “Your wish is my command.” He winked at Alyssa and headed for the kitchen.