Kiss Like a Fist_A Paranormal Harem Pulp Novel

by Jake Richter

  There was another young lady.

  Alex recognized her instantly.

  That’s Lil’ Red!

  She was the one he saw dressed in the costume of the fairy-tale character, before he’d headed into the club. There was white powder near Lil’ Red’s nostrils, and she was pointing a big-ass gun at the mouth of a person dressed in a Big Bad Wolf costume.

  Alex saw the orange cap at the end of the gun barrel. It was a fake. He wasn’t afraid, but shifted his weight. The floor creaked and echoed.

  The sound was enough to put a stop to the kinky fairy-tale role-play. Alex turned his attention to the Big Bad Wolf. The costumed giant was looking in his direction as he removed the head of the Big Bad Wolf costume. It was Brock the bouncer. His eyes were as wide as hubcaps.

  “B-brock?” Alex stammered.

  “Why you botherin’ me when I’m openin’ my presents?” Brock asked, wiping a line of what Alex thought was coke residue from his nose and mouth.

  Alex tried to play it cool. “Hey, Brock, sorry for the interruption. My bad.”

  Several seconds of silence ensued and then Brock removed a pistol from the small of his back and pointed it at Alex. This barrel did not have an orange cap. The gun and Brock’s simmering anger were genuine.

  The silence continued until Lil’ Red made her plea. “Brock, baby, he’s the bartender. No need to huff and puff and blow his house down.”

  Brock held Lil’ Red at arm’s length and flashed a doomsday smile at Alex.

  “So ya like what ya see? Gettin’ your thrill watchin’ me and Red over here. Some kinda perv, right?”

  “It wasn’t just me,” Alex said, angling a thumb at Ash.

  Brock blinked. “Fuck you talkin’ ‘bout?”

  “Her,” Alex replied, pointing at Ash. “See her?”

  Alex turned to Ash who whispered, “Only you can see me, heartbeat.”

  “What makes me so special?”

  Ash stared at Alex for a beat. “Ever see an Asphyx before?”

  “No.”

  “Well, that would make you pretty special then. Most humans can’t see us.”

  “Archer, who the fuck are you talking to?” Brock stood and unzipped his wolf’s costume to reveal his heavily-muscled frame, which was inked with prison tattoos.

  Alex looked to Lil’ Red, his eyes pleading, but Lil’ Red couldn’t see Ash either.

  “You mean…you don’t see her?” Alex asked.

  “I see me beating the bitter piss out of you, that’s what I see,” Brock replied.

  Suddenly, before Brock could throw down, Lil’ Red began coughing, heaving and dropped the fake gun. Her eyes were the color of rubies as she went down on her knees, then collapsed to her side. She was choking, hands clawing at her throat. Alex had witnessed an overdose before. He knew.

  “It’s the drugs!” he shouted.

  Alex turned to Ash and said, “Hey, hey! Aren’t you gonna help her, lady?!”

  “I’m not a lady, and no, I’m not going to help,” Ash replied.

  “Why not?!” Alex asked.

  “Because death is a part of life, Alexander Archer.”

  Alex was gob-smacked. How did she know his name?

  Before Alex could respond, Brock stirred. The big man wasn’t aware of this conversation, all he saw was a dying girl overdosing on his coke. He concealed his firearm, the real one, and scampered past Alex out of the room. “Not another one! I can’t have another bitch die this month!”

  Alex watched Ash move slowly toward Lil’ Red who fought for her last breath. Unmoved, Ash slipped a cigarette in her mouth and lit it. “Afraid of death, heartbeat?”

  “We need an ambulance!” Alex shouted.

  Ash ignored this and looked back at him. “Humans usually are. They feel that there is finality in the last breath when really it’s just the beginning, an introduction to a whole new world.”

  Alex couldn’t process what Ash was saying. He lurched over to the dying Lil’ Red. Her intricate costume made it hard for him to get her clothes off.

  Alex might’ve been a world-class bartender, but he’d never tried to save a life before. He did his best to perform mouth-to-mouth resuscitation, but Lil’ Red’s face had changed color and was quickly turning blue.

  Ash smiled. “Oh, she’s fading fast. Two minutes. C’mon, let’s talk. No need to worry about her. My Belles will be here soon enough.”

  Realizing he only had moments to act, Alex pushed his hands together and straddled Lil’ Red’s ample chest.

  Alex ignored Ash and pumped his hands down on Lil’ Red’s chest as she gurgled and upchucked a small amount of liquid and bile that was blocking her throat. She began breathing and Alex exhaled, amazed that he’d been able to save her. He gently eased her over, turning at the sound of footfalls. Looking beyond Ash, he saw Spence standing at the door.

  Spence looked from Lil’ Red to Alex. “Dude, you dirty dog.”

  “It’s not what it looks like.”

  “Oh, I think it’s exactly what it looks like.”

  “She almost died, you idiot!”

  Spence’s attitude changed. “Are you serious? She gonna live?”

  Alex nodded and levered himself up. He flung a look at Ash. He expected her to show remorse or express guilt, but instead, she pulled out a cartouche, a small oblong box carved from wood and filigreed with strange markings, and tossed it to Alex.

  “Your grandfather says hello.”

  Alex looked at the cartouche. The small gold piece had hieroglyphs written on it and was largely intact, aside from what looked like a bite mark on the side.

  Alex was stunned. The last time he’d seen the object was around the time his grandfather had vanished. “Where did you get this? And how do you know my name?”

  She smiled. “Because I’ve been watching you and this was a test.”

  “Excuse me?”

  “You’re excused, Alex,” Spence said, oblivious to Ash’s presence. “Who are you talking to?”

  “He can’t see me…yet,” Ash whispered. “I’ve come to warn you. There’s a war about to rage, a battle that will be fought between this world and the next one. You’ll play a part in it.”

  Alex felt woozy, disoriented. None of what she was saying made any sense.

  Ash strode forward and placed a finger on his nose. “In the morning all shall be revealed.”

  Ash took a step, and Alex grabbed her wrist. “I don’t understand. I just saved a life.”

  “You did a little more than that. Tonight wasn’t part of the Grimwood’s plan. He thought he could overthrow the Grand Reaper and seize the sickle and weaponize it, but with your help we can disrupt the plan and save both of our worlds.”

  “I literally don’t understand a word you just said.”

  Ash suddenly tensed, as if distracted by some other presence in the room.

  Whatever it was, it was evident to Alex that she considered the presence a threat. Her nostrils flared and her breasts heaved as she moved closer to Alex and held her hand close. A jolt of power zipped between them as she continued to keep her protective stance, as though shielding him from something or someone.

  Then she fixed a look on him and took his hand in hers. “Take care, Alex. We’ll meet again soon.”

  WHOOOSH!

  There was a burst of pure light, what Alex imagined it must look like when a star explodes. He was momentarily blinded and then the room seemed to change. The walls and floors fell away for an instant and then he was ensnared in a cone of angelic white light.

  A cloud of luminescent sparkles covered Alex’s body, lifting him off the ground. He closed his eyes as his body was wreathed by a powerful current that massaged his torso, his limbs, and his head. It felt as if hot oil had been poured over him and he was being kissed by a thousand women whose lips were as tender as the touch of moonlight against the sand.

  And then Alex felt the most peace, and the most pain, he had ever felt in his life; as if creation had remade him an
d spat him back out again. The sensation and light were so powerful that Alex raised his hands and cried out:

  “Yes! YES!”

  The light vanished and Alex blinked until his eyes would stay open. Ash was gone. Only Spence and Lil’ Red remained. Alex collapsed to the ground. “That was incredible!”

  Spence looked over at him. “Yes. You saved a life and started talking to yourself. Pretty incredible.”

  “No. That–that burst of light.”

  Spence arched an eyebrow. “You okay?”

  Alex was perplexed. Ash was nowhere to be seen and only the memory of the scent of warm vanilla remained. He fell back against the wall and slid to a seated position as he watched Spence feed sips of water to Lil Red and comfort her.

  “Alex, come on man. Talk to me. What’s up?” Spence asked, looking over.

  Alex shook his head. He really didn’t know. But for some reason, way down in the backwaters of his mind, he had a feeling that nothing was ever going to be the same again.

  He lifted himself back to his feet and moved over to Spence and Lil’ Red. Both men worked in tandem to make sure she was going to be okay.

  Alex whispered to Spence, who nodded. He needed to secure the other rooms and knew that Lil’ Red was in good hands with Spence. His friend, deep down, was a good guy. She was safe.

  Alex wandered out and took a moment to settle himself. Snippets of the last hour flashed in his mind. In the stillness, the only sound was a distant clock ticking.

  He heard Ash’s voice as if it was right against his ear. Her whisper was a tease and seemed like a warning: I will come for you.

  5

  A wall clock shaped like an old castle continued to tick. Sleep did not come easily for Alex that night.

  He tossed and turned, thinking about what had happened back at the bar. Unable to sleep, Alex stared at the one piece of tangible evidence to all the craziness that occurred with the mysterious woman named Ash. He kept rubbing his fingers on the cartouche Ash had given him, and memories of his grandfather filled his mind.

  Morning light filled the interior of his room, and Alex realized if he wasn’t going to sleep, he might as well make something of his day. He slipped the cartouche into a wooden box, got dressed and exited the row house he shared with a still-slumbering Giselle, Alex’s de facto landlord and housemate. Alex was pleased that Giselle was still asleep since the rent was due. In all of the confusion back at the bar, he’d forgotten to pick up his cash and pay her. If he didn’t come up with the money soon, Giselle would be expecting something else in return and it would probably involve a good spanking.

  I’m gonna get paid, then ask for the night off. Alex thought to himself. He needed time to process what had happened.

  Alex trekked across the sidewalk that snaked through the city,

  He was still on edge as he moved briskly past small herds of late commuters.

  Stopping at a street corner, he felt a sense of déjà vu, that he’d been there before and that somebody was watching him. This day was starting off just as strangely as the night before had ended. Glancing in every direction, he noticed nothing out of the ordinary. That’s when it happened.

  That’s when he smelled the tang of warm vanilla, wafting in the air.

  He closed his eyes, and the scent vanished.

  Just my imagination, he thought, continuing on.

  A sound caught his attention as he darted down the sidewalk toward a subway drop.

  A cat’s purr.

  Keep in the moment, Alex reminded himself. Don’t worry about what happened or what’s gonna happen, stay in the moment. That’s where life happens. Alex shrugged off the sound and slipped down the stairs into the subway. With each new step, he started to feel a spark of energy.

  What’s more, the thought and image of Ash were very heavy on his mind. He could picture her as if she was standing right in front of him. Her warm vanilla fragrance tantalized his nostrils as he moved through the turnstile of the station and waited on the platform.

  His heart raced as he nearly stumbled into a pair of ladies clad in form-fitting business attire who were clutching bags and samples stamped with the name of a pharmaceutical company. The pharma reps shot glances at Alex, who smiled sheepishly and side-stepped them.

  The subway arrived, and Alex entered an empty car. He plopped down on a seat, hoping to be at The Rhea in twenty minutes or so. The two pharma reps found their way into the same train car and sat several seats down from Alex, facing him. One had blonde hair, and the other was a raven-haired beauty with kind eyes that held Alex’s look as she smiled. Alex smiled back then broke their gaze as a chime sounded and the doors to the train closed.

  Alex eased his head back. The thrum of the subway car put him at ease. His body jostled slightly back and forth, and he began to doze. His eyes snapped open at the smell of…what was it? Something that smelled like smoke.

  He looked up to see that the pharma reps had changed seats.

  They were closer to him.

  The raven-haired rep was twirling her hair, grinning at Alex. His eyes roamed over her body, hidden behind a smart blazer and silk blouse with a tight skirt that was shorter than it should have been. He studied the contours of her lean, well-muscled thighs as she crossed her legs.

  The raven-haired rep opened her blouse to reveal a thin gold chain with a charm in the shape of an angel that fell gently against her mushroom-white skin near the start of her cleavage.

  The blouse nudged open a bit more and Alex noted the hint of a French lace bra. The two reps whispered something and laughed some more.

  The burning smell curled up Alex’s nostrils. Where was it coming from?

  The raven-haired rep moved her hand down, fingers tracing around the buttons on the blouse, expertly undoing each one while her other hand found comfort moving slowly against her thigh. She smiled at Alex and nodded.

  Before Alex knew what was happening, the two reps were kissing, lips and tongues devouring each other. The raven-haired woman slowly opened the blonde woman’s shirt and began fingering the nipples on her ample breasts.

  Alex’s mouth was as dry as the desert.

  The raven-haired woman knew her way around the other woman’s body. Her long tongue danced and darted, swirling over the blonde woman’s aureolas, and then she squeezed the erect nipples while tonguing the woman’s flat midsection.

  Alex tried to suppress his hard-on, but it was impossible. He was aroused and yet his internal fear meter was beginning to ramp up. The raven-haired woman turned and beckoned him with her forefinger. She gestured again for Alex to draw near. Alex stood in a daze, feeling drawn toward the women.

  Suddenly, the encounter with Ash replayed in his mind’s eye, over and over. The sense of danger he felt combined with the alluring picture of Ash in her sexy tube top and thigh-high stockings made him both afraid and thirsty with desire. He was simultaneously scared shitless and aroused.

  He drew to within a few feet of the two women and that’s when he smelled it.

  A strong odor.

  A burning scent.

  The funk of brimstone.

  Something was wrong.

  Something was very, very wrong.

  Alex stumbled back, and both of the women sprang at him like uncaged animals. Their faces screwed up in anger, features distorted. Their eyes glowed and long runners of drool hung from their open mouths, dripping from oversized cleat-like teeth.

  The two women cackled, but their laughter was deep, gravelly, and accusatory.

  “We know who you are and what you have done. Give us back what belongs to our master!” the raven-haired rep shrieked.

  “What are you talking about?”

  “GIVE US THE FUCKING SICKLE!” the other rep screamed.

  Alex had to think fast. He acted on pure instinct and bravado because he had little else. He held up his hands and this stopped the two demented women in their tracks. “Fine, okay, you want me to give you something?”

  “Yes
!” both women hissed.

  Alex held up middle fingers on both hands. “Here’s a little somethin’, somethin’!”

  The two women flung themselves at Alex, who dropped low and brought his hands down around his face. The raven-haired woman slammed into Alex’s chest, knocking him back over a seat rest. He flopped backward and hit the floor.

  The other woman snapped at him and he kicked up, punting the hag in the jaw. She fell back and Alex muscled himself up. He grabbed the edge of the seat rest and torqued his body sideways, kicking her as hard as he could in the jaw.

  Bones broke in the blonde woman’s face, and Alex vaulted over her and ran down through the middle of the empty subway car.

  The women gave chase, howling, crying out for Alex’s blood.

  He dashed between cars searching for help, looking for something, anything to fight back with and that’s when he spotted it: a discarded umbrella.

  He grabbed the umbrella and brought it around at the same instant the blond woman caught up with him.

  Alex wheeled around, intent on battering the blond woman with the umbrella, but her features had turned back to her original, beautiful self.

  “What are you doing?” the woman asked, trying to rearrange her nose which Alex had kicked and bent at a horrible angle. “Look what you’ve done to me.”

  The woman began to cry, and Alex let down his guard for a moment.

  “I’m sorry, it’s just—”

  “It’s just that you’re such a pussy!” the blond woman howled, her features distorting again. She spit at Alex and lurched at him as—

  WHUNK!

  Alex brought the umbrella up defensively.

  The metal tip met the splotched, rubbery flesh near the blond woman’s neck and kept on going. Black bile spurted. Alex shouted and closed his eyes.

  The umbrella speared through the blond woman’s neck before he withdrew it.

  The raven-haired woman charged Alex, who pulled the umbrella back over his head.