Kiss Like a Fist_A Paranormal Harem Pulp Novel

by Jake Richter

  Ash smiled. “You sure about that?”

  Thomas opened his mouth to respond and then a sound echoed.

  Alex and the others heard it too.

  What sounded like a horn being blown in the distance.

  “I’ll help you, but there ain’t nothing I can do ‘til the Red Hour is over,” Thomas said.

  “What’s the Red Hour?” Spence asked.

  Thomas shivered. “You don’t want to know, so get in your machine and try to keep up.”

  Alex and the others returned to the Suburban and drove down the alleyway, following Thomas who darted to his left, then ran to his right, following a path through a maze of streets tucked behind clusters of ramshackle buildings.

  Finally, Alex spotted Thomas ducking into the rear of a domed structure that was attached to a small, metal-shingled building the size of a garage. A large door on the garage was rolled up and Thomas beckoned for them to enter, and Alex drove the vehicle into the darkened building.

  He shot a glance at Ash. “How do you know this guy?”

  “I took him down to the Underworld after he died.”

  “How did he end up here?”

  Ash shrugged. “He’s a slippery little bastard. Somehow he found a way over.”

  “Can we trust him?”

  “Probably not,” Ash said with a smirk. “But right now, he’s our best chance to track down your grandfather.”

  They exited the Suburban to see Thomas holding up an old flashlight. He moved back and secured the door into the garage, locking it in place.

  “This place was a paradise when I first arrived,” he muttered. “And then the gangs started to turn up.”

  “What kind of gangs?”

  “Demonic outlaws. Gangbangers who swoop in once a day to raise south Hades and shake us all down. Turns out this place ain’t much different from Earth. Soon as you get something good going, someone else comes in to burn it all down.”

  There was a scream off in the distance, followed by a siren.

  Everyone clutched their weapons as shouts sounded, along with more sirens. “We should be fine,” Thomas said. “They don’t know we’re here.”

  Alex and the others followed him into his squatter’s house which had low ceilings, a dirt floor, and walls made of warped metal and scrap. Light filled the room from tiny holes punched in the walls, providing enough illumination for Alex to see several pieces of industrial equipment and rocks fashioned into crude furniture.

  “Take a load off,” Thomas said.

  Alex eased himself down onto a large, smooth boulder.

  “Love what you’ve done with the place,” Spence said.

  Thomas glared at him. “What’d you expect? The fucking Four Seasons?”

  Ash ran a hand down the barrel of her gun. “We don’t have time for this, Thomas.”

  “Oh, we have the time, Ashley,” he replied. “We’ve got exactly twenty-seven minutes until the gangbangers finish their business.”

  Alex closed his eyes and listened to what sounded like the roar of a crowd. This was followed by the echo of drums, more screams, howls, and cheers. He moved over and peered through one of the holes in the wall and immediately wished he hadn’t.

  Outside, in a whirlwind of brown dust and debris, dozens, possibly hundreds of figures toiled. They were deformed creatures rampaging across the city, dragging people outside, beating and jeering them. Some of them carried clubs and others tossed bottles that burst into flames that were whipped higher by the wind.

  “We can’t be killed,” Thomas said over Alex’s shoulder. “That’s part of the fun for the gangs. They can beat and maim and there’s nothing any of us can do about it.”

  “Why do they do it?”

  Thomas shrugged. “Because they can.”

  Thomas grabbed a small metal cup filled with a dark liquid and sipped at it. “You don’t know what it’s like. When you’re processed by a being who doesn’t even care about how you will spend eternity. When people die they want the freedom to choose. The Otherworld may not be perfect but it sure isn’t the Underworld. And I don’t think there is another place for us to go, right Ash?”

  “There is nowhere else,” Ash said.

  “Then this is home,” Thomas said with a grim smile.

  Alex returned to his stone chair as the chaos outside reached a fever pitch. Several times, things battered into the walls or hit the roof, but nothing broke through. Ash reached over and put a hand on Alex’s knee as he glanced at Thomas, who kept his eyes downcast, staring into the metal cup that trembled in his tiny hands.

  Thirty minutes later, the madness was over. “They’ve moved on,” Thomas said. “They always do. But they’ll be back tomorrow.”

  “Which means we need to leave while we can,” Spence said.

  “Thomas. Please, my grandfather. Where is he? You talk about freedom, I can’t be free knowing that my grandfather is here, somewhere. Help me, please.”

  Thomas set his cup down and swallowed hard. “On the outskirts of town. There’s an industrial area. There’s a community there. That’s the last place I seen him.”

  Alex tried not to let his emotions get the best of him as he exhaled hard. “Okay, thank you! Let’s go and find my grandfather and the sickle!”

  28

  Grimwood and Dante stood next to the Challenger, peering down at the ground.

  “Ingenious,” Grimwood said. “Who would’ve ever thought about putting a building or a church in the ground?”

  “Well, actually, sir, lots of people. For instance, the Berber in Tunisia live underground and then there’s a group of people who live in this underground city in Australia called Coober Pedy and—”

  “That wasn’t a fucking question, Dante.”

  Dante gulped and Grimwood turned his gaze to the Challenger. “What a waste.” He flicked a finger and a burst of flame appeared inside the car and it was quickly consumed by a fireball. Then he turned and flicked a wrist, opening the door into the ground. Grimwood moved over and peered down into the hole.

  “What? What is it, sir?” Dante asked.

  “They know we’re coming,” Grimwood replied. “The holy men that protect this place. Ash and the others have warned them. I can smell their anticipation.”

  This was true of course. Grimwood could smell it in the wood. The vinegary odor emitted by the mortals down below, the ones that he assumed were waiting to ambush him and Dante as soon as they descended into the church.

  “Then we should destroy the whole place.”

  Grimwood pursed his lips. “Too messy, and too time-consuming.”

  “Then…what?”

  Grimwood sucked in a breath. He knew what he had to do. “We can follow their trail, Dante. We can move from here to the last place they stood before crossing over.”

  “You mean…teleportation?”

  Grimwood nodded slowly.

  Then he muttered a series of words, an ancient incantation. The wind picked up and sparks of blue light flew from the tips of his fingers. He thrust out his hands and Dante grabbed one of them and then his eyes rolled back as a flash-storm of images assaulted him. He could see the path forward, the stairs leading down into the church, the warren of rooms and hallways, and the trail that would lead down to the spot before the slab of rock where Ash and the others had ventured down into the Otherworld.

  All of the scenery flashed past because Grimwood and Dante had been compressed into a rope of pure lightning and were hurtling forward through space and time, carried down through the church at a frenetic pace and then there was an explosion and a flash of light and Grimwood opened his eyes.

  They’d made it.

  They’d been transported in the blink of an eye down into the bowels of the church.

  They were standing twenty feet away from the slab of rock that blocked the entrance into the Otherworld.

  Grimwood was spent from the ordeal. His head throbbed and his legs felt like jelly. He braced himself against Dante and listene
d to the shouts of men echoing from behind. He’d found a way to slip past the church’s protectors, but they’d be coming presently.

  Grimwood took a step and something lurched out of the shadows.

  It was an older woman. Aunt Esther!

  Aunt Esther’s face twisted up in crazed delight.

  Before Grimwood could react, the woman had punched him in the face. Given that his vigor and built-up energy had been depleted, he felt the punch which sent him tumbling to the ground. Dante turned, but the woman turned and kicked him in the groin.

  “That’s for kidnapping my sister!” the woman shrieked.

  Grimwood elbowed himself up. “Who are you?”

  “The name’s Esther,” the woman said, planting her feet, squaring up on him. “And you must be Grimworm.”

  “That’s Grimwood,” the dark lord replied.

  “Where is she?” Aunt Esther hissed. “Where’s Cassie?”

  Grimwood dusted himself off.

  “Where is she?” Esther hissed again. “Where’s Cassie?”

  Grimwood dusted himself off. There was recognition in his eyes. “You’re related to the bartender aren’t you? The one called Alex?”

  “What if I am?”

  “I have a bone to pick with him.”

  “Yeah, well, you ain’t gonna pick shit until you deal with yours truly.”

  Grimwood smiled. He liked her moxie, but there was so little time. Quick as a reflex, Grimwood vaulted at Esther, wrapping her up in his arms, pulling her in so tightly that the air was stolen from her lungs. The old woman began turning blue as Grimwood laughed and then flung her lifeless body against the wall.

  Esther slammed into the rock and sank to the ground.

  “Is she dead?” Dante asked.

  Grimwood pursed his lips. “She’s in-between now, Dante. On the verge of crossing over, which is the perfect time to bring her back.”

  Grimwood flicked his wrist and Esther’s body began trembling and then she moved involuntarily, rising into a standing position. He maneuvered his long fingers, able to manipulate her movements as Esther’s eyes rolled back in their sockets.

  “She’s mine now.”

  He turned and moved toward the slab of stone, whispering the words, powering it up. And then he and Dante and Aunt Esther headed down into the Otherworld. They stopped on the promontory that overlooked the Otherworld’s cityscape. Grimwood grew tight-lipped as he sucked in a breath. He would never say anything to Dante, but he knew that the stories he’d heard about the Otherworld were true. He could feel it in his bones. His powers were nothing here. The moment he’d stepped beyond the slab of stone, whatever divine plan was in place had robbed him of most of the supernatural abilities that made him special. He would now have to rely strictly on cunning and guile if he wanted to track down Ash, Alex, and the sickle. And when he did, he would make them pay dearly for what they’d done.

  29

  With Thomas guiding, Alex drove the Suburban down through the desolate outer rings of the Otherworld’s city.

  They exited through a hole in the rear wall and blasted out across a wasteland, swerving between rocky outcroppings and thundering up over great mounds of copper-colored sand.

  “If this is the place you escaped to, how horrible is the Underworld?” Spence asked.

  “It’s not about aesthetics,” Thomas replied. “I don’t give two shits about natural beauty. This is the only place where I don’t have someone constantly peering over my shoulder.”

  “That means that much to you?” Alex asked.

  Thomas nodded. “That’s freedom, the only thing that ever matters.”

  The Suburban cruised under an angry sky, headed toward a stand of industrial buildings

  in the distance. Ten minutes later, the vehicle stopped fifty yards away from a cluster of blackened industrial buildings. It was a mass of remnant shells, fused architecture, and partially eyeless windows rising four stories into the air.

  Everyone exited the Suburban, with Thomas gesturing toward the buildings. “In there!” he shouted. “I saw a group of them in there several days ago. The man in the photograph was one of them.”

  Ash chambered a round in her Bitch Killer gun and flung a set of bandoliers over her shoulder that were nearly empty. Camille grabbed her pistols and holstered them.

  Minnie took great pride in pulling out a flat sword.

  It caught Alex’s attention. “Minnie. That’s an amazing piece of work.”

  Minnie nodded. “It’s a shifting blade that’s so razor sharp, it could cut air and make it bleed.”

  Alex nodded. “Now that’s a blade.”

  The others pulled out the weapons they’d obtained earlier from The Man.

  Ash threw up her hand as Thomas turned and looked back. “C’mon! It’s right up here!”

  “What is it?” Alex whispered to Ash. “What’s wrong?”

  “Just…a feeling I’ve got that’s something’s wrong.”

  “I’ve had that same feeling ever since I met you.”

  Ash smiled, but there was no levity in her face. Alex took a step and then he felt something. A shudder in the ground.

  “Did you feel that?” Minnie asked.

  Spence kicked at the dirt. “What the hell was that?”

  Alex dropped to his knees, listening to Thomas continue to tell them to hurry into the buildings. Alex reached out a hand and pressed it to the ground. He could feel something, almost like an electrical current of some kind as—

  BOOM!

  A thick, gnarled hand reached up and grabbed his wrist.

  Alex screamed as a dust-covered demon rose up out of the ground, eyes glowing like furnace stokeholes, mouth peeled back in a rictus.

  “AMBUSH!” Ash shouted.

  A blast from Ash’s gun cratered the demon’s face as Alex turned to see more of the hideous things pull themselves out of the ground like scorpions.

  Alex and the others went on the attack. Alex fired his pistols, listening to the thump, thump, thump, of Ash’s gun and Spence’s grenade launcher. Explosions rocked the industrial area, the demons cut down in waves by the bullets, blasts, and Minnie’s sword, which she swiped from left to right as Camille fired the rotary gun point-blank into the monsters.

  Ash shouted for everyone to retreat so they did, running after Thomas who’d ducked into the closest building.

  Alex brought up the rear, watching more demons appear.

  “Who are they?” he yelled.

  “Probably some of those gangs Thomas mentioned!” Ash shouted back.

  Alex turned to see a demon spring out of the shadows.

  “LOOK OUT!”

  Ash turned.

  A second too late.

  The demon slashed her right arm with its talons, carving a bloody trench in the soft flesh. Alex shot the demon to pieces, but the damage was done.

  Ash dropped her gun and clutched her arm. “I’m fine,” she said. “Just…keep going.”

  Alex grabbed her weapon and led her toward the rusted-out structure that Thomas had ducked into.

  The group entered a space that was heavy with shadows and a suffocating, almost impenetrable darkness.

  Alex and Spence slammed the metal door shut, locking it behind them, and then Alex turned to see Camille and Minnie comforting Ash whose arm was leaving a blood trail on the dust-shrouded floor.

  The sound of footsteps echoed in the distance and Alex spotted movement peripherally.

  “Thomas!”

  Alex ran toward him, pulling Ash’s gun up. He fired a shot—

  That flew over the head of Thomas who skidded to a stop, back to Alex, his hands up in the air.

  Alex racked the gun. “Another step and I’ll take your head off!”

  Thomas trembled as they quickly drew up on him. Alex pointed the barrel of Ash’s gun at the side of Thomas’s head. “You’ve got three seconds to tell me why.”

  “Because I knew you were coming,” Thomas hissed. “Because someone tipped m
e off and told me to set you up.”

  “Who?”

  “Who do you think? Grimwood. The fucker doesn’t even know the way in here, but he’s got his spies. He said it’d be worth my while if I helped him out. Said he might find a way to bring some of my family over.”

  “You sold us out for that?” Ash asked, clutching her arm as she approached with the others.

  “You’d have done the same,” Thomas replied, spitting on the ground.

  “Where’s my grandfather?” Alex asked.

  Thomas shook his head. “I dunno, son. I did see that man here a week or so ago, but he went north, making his way across the water.”

  “You need to show us the way,” Alex said.

  “I’m not showing you shit. I’ve already done enough. I’m marked now.”

  Thomas turned and ducked through a side exit. Alex realized they didn’t have time to go after him, so they exited through a rear door in the structure and ran across a courtyard that ended at an earthen embankment.

  Alex saw Ash collapse and he rushed to her. Her breathing was labored and her color was bad. He realized what she’d told him before was true. She could be wounded just like any other mortal. It struck him that in going on this mission, in trying to help Alex get the sickle back and find his grandfather, she’d risked everything.

  “Ash!” Alex screamed but there was no response as her body shook uncontrollably.

  “Camille! Minnie!”

  Alex whistled for Camille who tossed him her medic bag. She fished through the bag and sifted through myriad gauze pads and bandages, until she reached a salve. She tossed the salve to Minnie, who smeared the goopy ointment on Ash’s wound. Alex watched Camille and Minnie work in tandem, trying their hardest to bring Ash back.

  The demons continued to batter their way toward the group and Alex realized they didn’t have much time left. He held on to the cartouche around his neck and whispered a prayer, then crawled over next to Ash and smoothed her hair. Then he took a deep breath, leaned down and kissed her. “You gave me everything. You can’t go now,” he whispered.

  Alex kissed her again, their lips touching with a softness that made it feel as if they were one. A warm current flowed from Ash which made Alex grateful, because it meant she wasn’t crossing over. She was still in the land of the living.