No Place for an Angel

by Gail Whitiker

  ‘I can’t think what you mean. I have nothing to do with your family.’

  ‘Come, Miss Jones, you sang at my sister’s betrothal celebration, your son stayed with both my father and my brother before that unfortunate incident and your name continues to crop up during conversations at breakfast, lunch and dinner,’ Lord Hugh said. ‘I almost feel as though we should set a place for you at the table.’

  Catherine managed a strained smile. ‘I’m sure your father is happy to have Thomas out from underfoot.’

  ‘I’m not so sure. He speaks quite often of the boy. Indeed, at times I do believe he misses him,’ Lord Hugh said. ‘So Val brings Sebastian round more often for visits. Naturally Sebastian is distraught that he cannot see his friend any more. It seems the two of them became thick as thieves during their brief time together.’

  ‘Thomas misses Sebastian, too,’ Catherine admitted. ‘It would have been nice had their friendship been allowed to continue.’

  ‘Nice, but unrealistic. The grandson of a marquess does not play with the bastard son of an actress. Oh, I’m sorry. Was that cruel?’ Lord Hugh asked as a flush rose in Catherine’s face. ‘Yes, I suppose it was. But we cannot ignore the facts, can we, my dear? There are simply too many obstacles standing in your way, which is why my brother’s courtship of Lady Phoebe is being so actively encouraged. You really never stood a chance.’

  The implication that she had somehow set out to win Valbourg’s affections stung. ‘I am well aware of the differences between us, Lord Hugh,’ Catherine said quietly. ‘Lord Valbourg helped me through a difficult period and I will always be grateful to him for that, but I am not so foolish as to believe there was ever a chance of our association developing into something more.’

  ‘Fie, Miss Jones, you don’t expect me to believe that, do you? You must know he’s in love with you. Not that any man wouldn’t feel that way, of course,’ Lord Hugh mused. ‘God knows, I’m a little in love with you myself. But my intentions would be strictly dishonourable whereas Valbourg’s would be eminently laudable. I’m sure that is why he is feeling so wretched about the entire affair.’

  Catherine put her glass on the table, aware that her hand was trembling. ‘You’re wrong, Lord Hugh. Valbourg is well aware of his obligations and would never allow himself to fall in love with someone like me. He is courting Lady Phoebe and I wish them both happiness, if that is whom he chooses to marry.’

  ‘Personally, I’m not sure he will. My money is still on Lady Susan Wimsley. She looks a lot more like you,’ Lord Hugh said. ‘I say, are you all right, Miss Jones? You’ve suddenly gone quite pale.’

  ‘I’m fine,’ Catherine said woodenly. ‘But it’s time I went home.’

  ‘What a pity. Barely five minutes in my company and you are already running away. Ah, well, hopefully we will be seeing each other in the not-too-distant future,’ Lord Hugh said, adding with a wink, ‘Now that the truth of your background is known, there doesn’t seem to be much point in perpetuating the Angel myth, does there? We all know what you really are.’

  His smugness left Catherine in no doubt as to his meaning and, afraid the evening would only get worse, she headed for the front door. She had made a mistake by coming to the soirée this evening. She had no intention of making a second by remaining.

  * * *

  She was waiting for a carriage when Lord Tantemon and Lord Lassiter approached.

  ‘Well, well,’ Tantemon said. ‘The Angel has left her little cherub at home and is mingling once more in society.’

  ‘Good evening, my lord,’ Catherine said, keeping watch for an approaching hackney.

  ‘Not leaving us already?’

  ‘Perhaps she is not feeling well,’ Lassiter said. ‘She does look a little pale. I suggest she spend the rest of the evening in bed. I know that would make me feel better. Especially if it’s my bed she spends it in.’

  Catherine sighed. ‘Surely you have better things to do than harass me, my lord.’

  ‘As a matter of fact, I do not. Not so fast, Miss Jones,’ he said as she started to walk away. ‘You and I have a score to settle. The last time we met, I suffered at the hands of your champion.’

  ‘Lord Valbourg is not my champion.’

  ‘No? He certainly acted the part, and I have been meaning to take him to task over it. I did not appreciate his ungentlemanly handling of my person.’

  ‘Had you behaved in the manner of a gentleman, he would have had no reason to handle you.’

  ‘Ooh, saucy wench. Calling my morals into question when all of London knows you have none. A turnabout, wouldn’t you say, Tantemon?’ Lassiter said with a sneer. ‘The Virgin Angel revealed for the whore she is.’

  Catherine didn’t stop to think. She just reacted—and the sound of her palm striking Lassiter’s cheek echoed in the darkness.

  ‘By God, you’ll pay for that,’ the man snarled. He grabbed her by the arm and raised his hand to strike, but Catherine twisted around and landed a hard kick just below his knee. His leg buckled and he went down, swearing viciously.

  Unfortunately, as he went down, Tantemon lunged. ‘Come, my pretty, I know better than to get that close.’ He grabbed Catherine around the waist from behind, and the next thing she knew, her feet were off the ground and she was being thrust into a carriage.

  That was when she screamed.

  * * *

  For Valbourg the evening was interminable. He had spotted Catherine the moment he’d walked into the room, but, grimly aware that other eyes were focused with equal interest on him, he had kept his distance, gritting his teeth when Hugh had begun a conversation with her. He also noted the exact moment she left, prompted, he felt sure, by something his brother must have said. Tact had never been one of Hugh’s skills.

  Now, however, it was Hugh who walked swiftly towards him, breaking into his conversation with Lady Phoebe to say, ‘I say, Val, a word if you don’t mind. Excuse us, Lady Phoebe,’ he said, taking Valbourg’s arm and drawing him away. ‘I don’t want to alarm you, but there’s a bit of a discussion taking place between Miss Jones and a few of her more ardent admirers. You might like to go and intervene. I would have, but I don’t have your quick right jab. Or your blistering left hook. And I fear both will be required.’

  Valbourg saw the expression of concern on his brother’s face and quickly made his way outside. Upon reaching the street, he was astonished to see Lassiter lying on the ground and Tantemon doing his best to force Catherine, kicking for all she was worth, into a carriage.

  He reacted without thinking. He grabbed Tantemon by the shoulder, spun him around and aimed his fist into the peer’s face, feeling skin and bone flatten under the power of the blow.

  Blood spurted and Tantemon staggered backwards, putting his hands to his face. ‘What do you think you’re doing? You’ve broken my nose!’

  ‘You’re lucky that’s the only thing I broke!’ Valbourg shoved him out of the way and reached into the carriage. ‘Are you all right?’ He helped Catherine out. There were tears on her cheeks and scratches on her arms, but her clothes were intact and he was relieved to see her nod.

  ‘Yes. Take me home, Richard. Please.’

  The strain in her voice made him want to turn on Tantemon then and there, but because they had already had enough drama for one evening, he simply ordered his carriage and helped Catherine into it. As soon as they were away, she was in his arms, her slender body racked with sobs, the tears flowing freely down her face.

  Valbourg didn’t say a word. He just held her, knowing this was where she belonged. So much had happened over the past few weeks. So many dreams shattered. No wonder she had finally reached her breaking point.

  At last, when the tears and the sobs began to ease, he took out his handkerchief and gave it to her. ‘I saw Lassiter lying on the ground. Was that a result of the technique you me
ntioned the first night we met?’

  She laughed, although it came out like a sob. ‘Not that p-particular one, no.’

  ‘Really? Judging from his expression, I thought it might have been,’ Valbourg replied. ‘Just as well, since I likely would have killed him.’

  ‘Oh, Richard,’ Catherine said, dabbing at her eyes. ‘You really mustn’t joke about such things.’

  ‘I’m not joking. That’s the second time Lassiter’s crossed the line when it comes to you and I’m damned if he’ll do it again. Nor will Tantemon. I have a score to settle with both of them.’

  He had hoped to set her mind at rest, but all the threat seemed to do was make her sadder. ‘It’s always going to be like this, isn’t it?’ she whispered. ‘Men believing I’m a whore. Believing they can take advantage of me.’

  Valbourg rubbed his thumb gently across her cheek. ‘You must marry, Catherine. I know you don’t want to, but it is the only way of assuring your safety. Is there not someone for whom you feel a small degree of affection?’

  ‘Yes. But he must choose another...and I would not ask him to do otherwise.’

  Valbourg sighed and pressed his lips to her hair, wishing they could stay in the carriage for ever. He wanted the rest of the world to disappear and leave them alone, but they both knew that wasn’t possible. Nevertheless, they stayed in each other’s arms for the duration of the trip, and it wasn’t until they drew to a halt in front of her house that Catherine slowly sat up.

  ‘Thank you, Richard. I don’t know what I would have done if you hadn’t been there tonight.’

  ‘I have no doubt some other gallant gentleman would have come to your rescue. I must remember to thank Hugh when I get home.’

  ‘Hugh?’

  ‘He was the one who came and alerted me to what was going on.’

  ‘Really?’

  ‘I know. I was surprised, too.’ He grasped her chin and, pulling her towards him, tenderly kissed her. ‘Will I see you again?’

  Her eyes shimmered and she looked away. ‘I think it best you don’t. Goodnight.’

  He would have walked her to her door, but she insisted he remain in the carriage. Nevertheless, he watched her every step of the way, refusing to drive on until he saw her front door open and close and knew she was safely inside. She turned only once to look at him...and Valbourg knew it would be a very long time before he forgot the expression of sadness in her eyes.

  * * *

  That night, lying in bed, Catherine made a decision. She knew she could not go on living the way she was. The strain of having to see Valbourg at society functions, her constant fears surrounding Thomas’s safety, and now concerns about her own welfare were taking their toll. She was sleeping badly and losing weight. If nothing changed, her performances would begin to suffer and she couldn’t afford to let her personal life negatively affect her professional one. If she retired from the stage, she wanted it to be because she chose to leave, not because her performances deteriorated to the point where people no longer wanted to see her.

  As a result, after breakfast the next morning, she sat down to write letters to her father and Gwen, telling them of her plans to leave England. As she saw her thoughts taking shape on the page, Catherine knew she was doing the right thing. It would not be easy starting over in a foreign country, but she had faced bigger challenges and overcome them. Now, with Thomas by her side, it was time to start again.

  That done, she changed and got ready to go out. The letters had been difficult to write, but compared to the meetings she was about to have, they were as easy as breathing. She would not leave England without saying goodbye to the people who had done so much for her and with whom she had formed such a close and special relationship.

  * * *

  ‘I will finish the season out, of course,’ Catherine told Theo and Tandy as they sat together in the room where they had enjoyed their first conversation. ‘But I will not be returning next year.’

  ‘This all seems rather drastic, my dear,’ Theo said. ‘Are you sure this is what you want to do?’

  ‘I believe it is more a case of what I must do,’ she told him. ‘I can’t go on living my life in fear. That won’t be good for Thomas or myself.’

  ‘Will you ever come back?’ Tandy asked.

  ‘Maybe, when people have forgotten my name and my story. But I suspect it will be a long time before that happens.’

  ‘Dearest child, we will miss you terribly,’ Theo said, the regret in his eyes confirming the truth of his sentiments. ‘Not only because we are losing our best performer, but because we are losing the friendship of someone who has come to mean a great deal to us and whom we both hold very dear.’

  ‘Thank you,’ Catherine said, genuinely touched. ‘I hope you know how much your support and encouragement have meant to me. I wouldn’t be where I am today without it. You believed in me when I didn’t believe in myself.’

  ‘Because you never truly appreciated how rare your talent was,’ Tandy said. ‘We did. And I know I speak for Theo when I say how thrilled we were to be able to promote that skill and watch it propel you to the forefront of the industry. You will always have a place with us, Catherine, if you want one.’

  ‘Indeed, I sincerely hope we will have the opportunity of working together again,’ Theo said. ‘But you must do what you feel is best for you and Thomas right now.’

  Deeply touched, Catherine hugged them both, wondering if she would ever meet such wonderful people again, and then walked out to the waiting carriage. It would seem strange not coming here after her performances; even stranger not to see Theo on a daily basis. He had become a huge part of her life.

  But as difficult as her farewells to the Templetons had been, Catherine knew her next goodbye would be much harder.

  * * *

  ‘You’re leaving?’ Valbourg said when they were alone in his study. They had not embraced. Valbourg had started to approach her, but she had held up her hand to stop him. ‘In God’s name, why?’

  ‘Because I must. I no longer feel safe in London,’ Catherine said. ‘I have given this a great deal of thought, Richard. Indeed, I have lain awake at nights, trying to make up my mind. But now I have and I know it is the right decision. Every day, I wake up wondering if this will be the day Hailey or one of his men try to take Thomas away. And every night I go to bed thanking God nothing happened.’

  ‘But there are things we can do to ensure his safety,’ Valbourg said. ‘Steps we can take. You don’t have to leave London.’

  ‘Unfortunately, it’s not only Thomas’s safety that is at stake. I fear for mine as well.’ She had never told him about the man who had attacked her, nor did she intend to. But he had interceded on her behalf with Lord Tantemon and that was enough. ‘Every night, I wonder if this will be the night some man tries to take advantage of me. If tonight, someone will emerge from an alley or come up behind me and force me into his carriage. I can’t live with that fear hanging over my head, Richard. And you know there’s a very good chance it will happen.’

  She didn’t tell him that the other reason she wanted to leave London was the fact that every day she stayed, there was a chance she would open the newspaper and see Valbourg’s engagement announcement emblazoned across the society pages. ‘I can’t go on like this. I have to get away.’

  ‘But...where will you go?’

  ‘North, most likely,’ Catherine said, regretting the necessity of a lie. ‘Gwen knows some people in the Lake District. She’s already written to ask if it would be convenient for us to stay with them.’

  His face looked as though it had been chiselled out of stone. ‘When do you plan to leave?’

  ‘As soon as the arrangements can be made and my belongings packed up. Possibly the end of next week.’

  ‘So soon.’ He looked away, his eyes heavy. ‘Have you told T
heo and Tandy of your plans?’

  ‘Yes. I just came from there.’

  ‘I can’t imagine they were pleased. They’ve grown very fond of you.’

  Remembering Tandy’s tears, Catherine felt her own throat tighten. ‘They understand my reasons. And they will find other actresses to play my roles. I must look on this as...a great adventure,’ she said, trying to sound as though she meant it.

  Valbourg nodded, though the expression on his face told another story. ‘Will you advise your father of your plans?’

  ‘I have posted a letter this morning, telling him what I intend to do. Now that we are reconciled, I want to keep him informed of what I’m doing and where I go. Gwen, too. But I would rather no one else know. I would prefer not to leave a trail for anyone to follow.’

  Valbourg sighed and finally crossed the room to where she stood, reaching for her hands and raising them to his lips. ‘What am I going to do without you?’

  ‘You will go on,’ Catherine said in a choked voice. ‘You will marry and have a family and live your life as it was meant to be lived. But for what it’s worth, I will always remember you. And I wouldn’t change a moment of what we’ve shared. No one can ever take that away from me.’

  ‘Will you at least write to me?’ he asked.

  Sadness centred in her chest and radiated outwards. ‘What would be the point? You will be engaged by Christmas and likely married by the spring. Your wife will not appreciate you receiving letters from another woman. Nor would your family. They don’t want me in your life, Richard. They’ve made that painfully clear.’

  ‘Because they don’t understand.’

  ‘They don’t have to.’ Catherine felt her heart break. ‘That’s just the way it is.’

  Chapter Twelve

  Valbourg stood for a long time after Catherine left, the sweetness of their parting kiss lingering on his lips, his body hard and aching for her. Was this how he was meant to spend the rest of his life? Dreaming of a woman he couldn’t have? Remembering the few stolen moments of exquisite passion he had shared? What possible chance for happiness lay in store for him if he was unable to forget Catherine and move on?