Righteous Lies (Book 1: Dancing Moon Ranch Series)

by Patricia Watters

  Until now, Grace refused to look at Lauren, but she couldn't stop herself. She also didn't want to talk to the woman who was determined to get Jack back. "I really don't think we have anything to talk about," she said to Lauren.

  "This has nothing to do with Jack," Lauren assured her. "But I think you need to hear what I have to say." She turned to Susan, and said, "It'll be alright."

  Susan looked at Sam, who shrugged, and said, "I'll stay here with them."

  After Susan left the room, Lauren said to Grace, "Give Jack his son and let me raise him with Jack and I'll talk Susan into giving her baby to you so you'll have the baby you started out to have. Jack doesn't love you and never will, and you're still in love with your dead husband. I'll take good care of Jack's baby. I'm not the person I was when I..." she stopped, and tears filled her eyes.

  Grace hardened herself to the woman, who had ruined Jack's life. "When you killed Jack's son," she completed Lauren's sentence.

  Lauren blinked back tears. "No one understands what happens. Everything's messed up in your mind. You distort things... see things that aren't there. Jack will understand in time. He hasn't stopped loving me. I saw it on his face. You couldn't help seeing it either. I'll give him everything we had before..."

  "Except his son," Grace said. "You can never give Jack back his son. And I will never give my son to you to raise with Jack, regardless of what Jack decides to do about you."

  Susan, who had been standing in the hallway, walked back into the room, and said to Grace, "If I agree to carry the baby to full term, would I have to give him to you?"

  Grace looked at Susan with misgiving. After hearing what Lauren said about postpartum depression, she knew the threat to Marc's baby after he was born was very real. Especially because he was Marc's baby, a baby Susan hadn't wanted from the instant she learned she was pregnant with him, in spite of what she'd just implied. But for the moment, stopping a late-term abortion took precedence over speculation about what would happen after the birth.

  "I'm only asking you to carry him to full term," Grace said. "You can decide whether to keep him or not after he's born. If you abort him at this late date it would be outright mur—"

  "We'll do it," Sam cut Grace off before she could say the word. He walked up to Susan and put his hands on her shoulders, and said, "Honey, I'll call the airlines and see what needs to be done to get you aboard. It's our best chance for Ricky."

  Grace looked from Susan to Sam, and said, "All you need is to have her doctor fill out a certificate that says she's okay to fly. But I'm sure he'd only do it if we plan to leave right away."

  Sam released Susan's shoulders and went up to Grace and gave her a hug. "Thank you for doing this for us," he said. "We can never make it up to you."

  Grace looked at Sam, and replied, "I'm doing it for Ricky," then turned to leave, only to find Jack standing in the doorway. But he wasn't looking at her, he was looking at Lauren, and from the expression on his face, Grace knew he'd heard Lauren's pitiable defense for what she'd done, and was taking it into account. He started to walk up to Grace, but Lauren quickly moved from the sofa and intercepted him. "Jack, you vowed to love me in sickness and in health. I was sick at the time and now I feel like I have a hole in my heart that I put there, but what's worse, I put a hole in your heart. I can never forgive myself for that." She ran her hands up Jack's chest and around his neck. "I love you and I always will."

  Jack wrestled her arms from around him. "Save it," he said. "The hole in my heart is for Jackie. I feel nothing for you." He took Grace's arm. "Come on, let's go. You've said what you needed to say." He ushered Grace toward the door.

  Once outside, Grace tugged her arm from his grasp, crossed the driveway ahead of him and hurried up the porch steps and into the house, not stopping until she reached her bedroom. But before she could rush in and slam the door, Jack caught up with her and grabbed her arm. Grace turned to him before he could speak, and said, "I'm sorry I asked you to help me raise Marc's son. I had no right to do that. If Susan will give him up he'll be my responsibility. I only expect you to help with Adam. And I don't want to live in a house on the ranch. I want to live in my own house. And now I intend to finish packing. The sooner I get away from here, the better."

  She snatched her arm away, turned into the bedroom and shut the door. She could think of nothing she'd rather not do than live in a house on the ranch and be forced to see the woman who killed Jack's son going in and out of Susan's house, while also wondering if she was sleeping with Jack. That was not an option. But for now, she had to set everything else aside and prepare her state of mind for flying on an airplane, when the thought of it terrified her.

  CHAPTER 11

  Grace looked at Jack, stunned. "You want to do what?"

  "Be married when Adam arrives," Jack said. "There's a three-day wait for the license, so if we go to the courthouse now we can be married before we leave."

  …maybe it's time I become an interfering mother...

  Although Grace was fond of Maureen, she knew Maureen was behind this, and that Jack felt obligated to do right by her, not because he might grow to love her, or having her in his house made him realize what he'd missed in a wife, but because he didn't want his son to be a bastard. Nor did she. The only difference was, she'd be marrying Jack because she loved him. But maybe someday he'd grow to love her too. Someday when his memory of Lauren began to fade...

  Jack placed his hands on her shoulders, and said, while looking closely at her, "You told me it seemed right for you to wear the rings your husband gave you since you were having his child. Well, you're having mine now, so it's right for you to wear the wedding ring I have for you." He reached in his pocket and pulled out a little box and flipped the lid, displaying a plain gold band. "It's not much," he said, "but it'll give you something to wear until we find what you want. We need to do this, Grace. We need to do it for Adam."

  Grace looked up from the ring and held Jack's gaze. He was ready to make a life-long commitment to the mother of his child, when he could be done with her in eighteen years. But the fact that Jack seemed so sure of his decision, even though love had not entered the picture, prompted her to reply, "I suppose you're right. I don't want Adam to grow up with the insecurity of having unmarried parents. Where would we get married?"

  "Either at the courthouse or here at the ranch. It doesn't matter."

  ...it doesn't matter...

  Those words stung. It did matter. It mattered that she was about to make a life-long commitment, and five minutes in front of a nameless judge, with a couple of court clerks for witnesses was tantamount to taking a number and waiting in line. "I'd rather it be at the ranch," she said. "Maybe you could find a minister to come out here."

  "So the ring is okay?" Jack asked, still holding out the box.

  "It's fine," Grace said. She pulled the ring out from its slit in the insert in the box and put it on her finger and held out her hand and looked at it. Plain gold, for a plain woman...

  "I'll get you something better later," Jack said, as if reading her thoughts.

  "It's fine, really," Grace replied, feeling a stab of guilt. She'd have Jack as her husband and he'd be faithful no matter how he felt about Lauren. And they'd raise their son together, and have others. Giving Jack a faltering smile, she said, "I'll need to get you a ring too."

  Jack dug in his pocket and pulled out another plain gold band, and as Grace looked at it, for one dreadful moment she wondered if it was the ring he'd worn when he was married to Lauren. He relieved her mind, when he said, "I got the rings from a jewelry store near the courthouse. I took a chance you'd agree to marry me. We can have them engraved when we get back."

  Grace pulled the gold band off her finger and returned it to Jack. "Yes, that would be nice," she said. Pleasantries. A cordial agreement to marry. No declarations of love, or passionate kisses, or even hugs of affection leading up to the decision. Just one unexpected kiss on the lips a couple of weeks ago, and Jack coming to her
bedroom and laying in bed with her, fully clothed, because she wanted him to make her feel like a woman again, and one more kiss the night Lauren arrived… And now, he was doing right by her, even though he had not impregnated her, but instead she'd been impregnated by a laboratory technician using a needleless syringe filled with Jack's semen. But the child that was created by accident deserved to come into the world to legally wed parents. And maybe, over time, Jack would learn to love her, and in the years between, they'd be busy raising their family. "Then let's go to the courthouse and fill out the license application," she said. And it was decided. For all the wrong reasons.

  ***

  Four days later, Jack arrived at the ranch with a man dressed in a black suit and wearing a white Roman collar, along with the marriage license, stamped by the court. Jack went to the house and collected Grace and walked her over to the lodge and introduced her to the man.

  "This is Pastor Roberts," he said. "He's ready to marry us."

  "Now?" Grace replied, saddened that she'd be getting married in a plain plum-colored maternity top and purple pants, with her hair a mess of disorganized waves, and no one in her family present. But time was running out, and although every other plan she'd made concerning having Marc's baby had failed, she did want Jack's name on Adam's birth certificate.

  But to get married right now, with no preliminaries, not even a chance to fix her hair, or change into something other than a worn maternity top and mismatched pants, or have a little procession with music and some flowers, and maybe someone to walk her down the aisle, it wasn't much better than getting married in front of the judge.

  "It's the only time the pastor can work us in," Jack explained. "Susan and Sam aren't here, but Mom and Flo will stand in as witnesses."

  Grace felt a little twang of regret. Would this hasty wedding come back to haunt her? Would Jack one day get restless and wonder why he insisted they do it? And would she really be able to make him happy, and keep him that way? Did she really want to be Mrs. Jack Hansen?

  ...my boys are the most honorable men I know...

  "Grace?" Jack said, recapturing her attention. "I won't let you down."

  Grace looked at him and knew the words came from his heart. "I need to comb my hair and polish my fingernails first," she said, a silly thing to think important—polishing her fingernails—before making a lifelong commitment. But she was nine months pregnant, so she allowed herself a moment of illogical reasoning. She also wanted to change out of the ugly plum-colored top and purple pants. The top still had jam down the front from breakfast, where she'd dropped a biscuit upside down and tried to scrub the residue of butter and jam off.

  "Honey," Jack said, as she turned to leave, "you look pretty the way you are."

  Grace looked at Jack, stunned. He'd never told her she was pretty. He'd never told her anything beyond the implication that she was built right for motherhood. But Jack had been married to Miss Teen Oregon, and the woman was still staying with Sam and Susan. At least Grace would have a ring on her finger and be Mrs. Jack Hansen before Lauren left. Grace found a whole lot of satisfaction in that.

  After she'd hastily finished her hair and nails and changed into a rose colored maternity top and black pants, she returned to the lodge to find Maureen and Flo standing and waiting for her. Maureen handed her a bouquet of silk flowers, and said, "A bride needs a bouquet."

  "Thank you," Grace replied, feeling a little twinge of regret that the color of the flowers clashed with her maternity top. But it did make her feel a little more like a bride.

  "And something old," Maureen added. She draped a pendant around Grace's neck.

  Grace lifted the round disk and studied the intricate design cut in its satiny silver surface. "Is it the sun?" she asked, seeing what looked like fiery rays radiating from a deeply excised circle.

  "No," Maureen replied, "it's the moon. The night of a harvest moon, Adam and I rode the horses up to the ridge to see it, and while we stood watching, Adam asked me to marry him. About that time a cloud formation moved in, and I commented that the moon looked like it was dancing. Adam laughed and said it was because I'd just agreed to marry him, and that's how the Dancing Moon Ranch got its name. We honeymooned in Arizona, so while we were there, Adam commissioned a Hopi silversmith to make the pendant and several other pieces of jewelry with the dancing moon on it. This is an especially beautiful piece of silver overlay. You can pass it on to one of your children someday."

  Grace was touched that Maureen would entrust her with such a special piece. "It's wonderful, and I'll treasure it always," she said, and wondered which of her six children it would go to. She glanced at Jack, who had an anxious look on his face. Regret? Resolve? She couldn't decide which. But it wasn't elation. But then, she knew her own face showed uncertainty. Jack had to have noticed it...

  "Borrowed and blue," Flo said, offering a hanky with blue embroidery. "It's part of my trousseau. Never got to use it."

  Grace smiled weakly, and took her place beside Jack, who stood with his hands clasped lightly in front of him. She wanted to pass the bouquet back to Maureen and hold Jack's hand instead because she wanted some acknowledgement that theirs was more than a marriage of convenience. But they stood together, not touching, and listened as the pastor passed on words of advice about couples growing to love each other over time, and weathering the ups and downs in life. Then he asked Jack to take her hand, which he did, and had them repeat words that joined them in holy matrimony. She looked at Jack and repeated the words that barely registered in her mind, and Jack looked at her and repeated the same words, then the pastor asked them to slip the rings on each other's fingers, which they did, and pronounced them husband and wife. The pastor's final words were to Jack, "You may now kiss the bride."

  Jack curved his finger beneath Grace's chin, and bending over, kissed her on the lips. "Thank you, Mrs. Hansen," he said. "You may give birth to my son any time now."

  It was odd hearing Jack call her Mrs. Hansen, and seeing a ring on his finger, knowing he was her husband. He was also the legal father of her son. No more talk of joint custody. Maybe that was the real reason Jack wanted to marry her before the baby came...

  "Sorry to cut this short," Maureen said to Grace, "but we need to leave right now for your doctor's appointment."

  The last thing left to do before flying off later that afternoon. Pick up the certificate from the doctor, clearing her for flying. He'd already checked her earlier in the week and given his approval, but only with the stipulation that he could check her vital signs the day of the flight, at which time he'd turn the certificate over to her.

  The days leading up to the marriage had been impossibly busy. Besides taking time off to apply for the license, Jack had a plethora of ranch work to take care of before leaving, so Maureen helped Grace with the hospital arrangements by going online to the Hackensack University Medical Center and downloading the forms for pre-admission, along with forms from the laboratory that would process the cord blood, and which would allow the obstetrician at the hospital to collect the baby's cord blood at birth, along with Grace's blood, for the tests required by law before transplantation. Because Susan was already registered, the hospital, on learning about the mix-up at the fertility clinic, were accommodating in making the changes to include Grace. So after completing the forms, a return fax assured Grace that preparations would be in place for her arrival, and Jack took care of the financial end. At the time they were filling out forms, it seemed odd seeing the name, Grace Jean Hansen on the forms, but Maureen filled them out in anticipation of the marriage going through...

  On leaving the doctor's office, Grace tried not to dwell on her fear of flying. She was a logical woman. And there were statistics. And Jack would be there, which didn't keep the plane in the air, but possibly would keep her from shaking and sweating and hyperventilating, and going weak all over and passing out from fright when the thing lifted off the ground.

  It wasn't as though she'd never flown. She had. But
on their return trip from Italy with her parents, they'd crossed the Atlantic in a storm, and the jet started shaking and rattling and suddenly descending thousands of feet. Through it all, the wings had been flapping like a bird’s. Then there was the seat belt light that kept flashing on, and the captain's voice announcing they were experiencing a little turbulence, nothing to be concerned about. And that was when she really got alarmed. Of course he'd say that. Why send passengers into a panic when they could splash down into the Atlantic in blissful ignorance...

  "You ready to go?" Jack asked, from his stance in the doorway to Grace's bedroom. She looked up. She'd never seen him dressed for travel. Still all cowboy, but instead of worn jeans and an equally worn shirt and scuffed western boots, he wore dark brown western-cut slacks, a tan shirt with pearl snaps, and dress boots that looked like they were rarely worn because they had a slight sheen to them. It didn't surprise her that Jack wore no tie, even though she'd seen a collection of braided leather bolas with varied clasps in his closet. No doubt gifts over the years. Jack was not a silver-clasp-bola kind of guy.

  "I guess I'm as ready as I'll ever be," Grace said. "I just wish they made a runway that would stretch from Portland to New York. But at least the flight's non-stop and we'll be flying at night, so I won't have to look down and see how far away the ground is."

  Jack walked over to her and straightened the collar of her maternity top, which seemed a husband-like thing to do, and said, "Stop worrying, honey. The weather's fine all the way across the country. How do you feel?"

  "Fine," Grace said, although she wasn't absolutely sure the tightening in her belly was from worry about the flight, or because Jack was standing in front of her with his hands on her shoulders and looking at her. He kissed her on the forehead then, and her belly tightened again...

  So it was Jack's nearness that made her belly do funny things...

  "Has she left?" Grace had definitely not intended to ask Jack about Lauren. Nor did she want to know the details.